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February 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Pretty interesting! I think that's the first fic I've read where Tifa is converted, and thus love that part... wish it was a bit longer or drawn out, and the cat seemed thrown in abruptly. But I LOVED Hojo kissing Tifa and asserting his conversion/mind control. I'm curious what happened!
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November 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
the guy who talks about points, stories dont need points like that. they just have to be not random and make sense. ur story has mixed points and it targeted me. ignore him ur story is fine, and i want chap 2!
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September 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
An author must ask his/herself this fundamental question: Why am I writing this, and who is it for? If you were targeting people into violence: not enough detail to get them hot. If you were targeting people into rape/bondage/sex: not enough detail to get them hot. If you were going for an angsty piece: not enough mental torture to make a good piece.
Some friendly advice: Before writing a piece, ALWAYS ask yourself 'What's the point?' The answer can be anything, from 'I want people to get off on my steamy sex scenes and become smut fanfiction addicts' to 'I want to make people cry at all the crap I put this character through.'
You could have a really awesome story, just make sure it has SOME sort of point, and isn't just a series of random events.
If this offended you, I'm sorry. But, hey, constructive critism is good for the soul. ^_~
Some friendly advice: Before writing a piece, ALWAYS ask yourself 'What's the point?' The answer can be anything, from 'I want people to get off on my steamy sex scenes and become smut fanfiction addicts' to 'I want to make people cry at all the crap I put this character through.'
You could have a really awesome story, just make sure it has SOME sort of point, and isn't just a series of random events.
If this offended you, I'm sorry. But, hey, constructive critism is good for the soul. ^_~
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September 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hii is there a chapter 2 to it? =O
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August 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
interesting is Tifa gonna help Cloud out? please continue =)
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July 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
dfsgsd
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June 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really liked the ending line ^^
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August 4, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow... that was interesting... **cackles at Cloud's misfortune** Heh... this is probably the only fic I'll ever read that has Cloud getting raped by a .. *.. **savors the moment** Nee... I enjoyed that very much, and I like the way the fic ended too. NIce job on it. ^-^
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March 2, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow, very discriptive, and very interesting. It's be interesting if it were to continue, though that probably won't happen, it seems that it's ended. Still, looks good, really good. Wouldn't mind reading other stories by you.
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November 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
the dialogue could use a little adjusting, like when you say: Cloud, “Wait.. please don’t leave me.. not in the dark... “ it should be somethin like: Cloud whimpered to her retreating form, "Wait.. please don't leave me.. not in the dark... " other than that, its cool...want to read the next chapter