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July 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I absolutely love the way you write Seifer. You really have a handle on what makes him tick, and it's fabulous to see him work. Zell is a little less amusing probably less due to your skill and more due to his own personality. The short tease you gave us of Squall shows you know how to handle him fabulously as well, which I find fabulously teasing. Overall I'm magnificently impressed.
The short interlude with Zell's grandpa is... well, it's kind of funny in a creepy way? It pulled me out of the action a bit, which may have been intentional as you seem to be enjoying a lighter tone. But I will say you don't need gimmicks like that. You have hot characters doing hot things in hot ways with very hot thoughts, and I'm hooked.
Chapter three is pretty much the hottest thing that's ever happened. Completely wrong as far as consent goes, but it's at least heartening that Seifer is demonstrating limits (I am at least telling myself that he would wake Zell before jumping him, even if it's just wishful thinking). I love how sensual he is while still remaining his aggressive, bullying self. It's a combination I haven't seen managed before, and it pleases me. I can't wait to see him get what he wants, preferably in ways that don't make the rape siren go off. Thanks for sharing your work!
The short interlude with Zell's grandpa is... well, it's kind of funny in a creepy way? It pulled me out of the action a bit, which may have been intentional as you seem to be enjoying a lighter tone. But I will say you don't need gimmicks like that. You have hot characters doing hot things in hot ways with very hot thoughts, and I'm hooked.
Chapter three is pretty much the hottest thing that's ever happened. Completely wrong as far as consent goes, but it's at least heartening that Seifer is demonstrating limits (I am at least telling myself that he would wake Zell before jumping him, even if it's just wishful thinking). I love how sensual he is while still remaining his aggressive, bullying self. It's a combination I haven't seen managed before, and it pleases me. I can't wait to see him get what he wants, preferably in ways that don't make the rape siren go off. Thanks for sharing your work!
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February 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I know it's not gonna happen, but GOD do I hope Seifer's gonna get his ass kicked and Zell's going to find a reaaaaaal nice bf. May I suggest a certain bi Galbadian? But at this point anyone would do, honestly. I just love Zell too much to see him being treated like this for more than a few short encounters.
Good job, keep going :)
Good job, keep going :)
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January 29, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Have I mentioned how much I just adore this story? It is one of my favorite pairings, right up there with Zell/Seifer ;-)
And it is HOT!
I'm so glad you are back posting updates here on AFF...there will be more soon, right? *grin*
That Zell...no wonder Seifer just cannot keep his hands off of him!
And it is HOT!
I'm so glad you are back posting updates here on AFF...there will be more soon, right? *grin*
That Zell...no wonder Seifer just cannot keep his hands off of him!
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November 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
WHY HAVENT YOU UPDATED!!!!!!!
THE HELL U ARE GOING TO LEAVE US WANTING FOR MORE.
THE HELL U ARE GOING TO LEAVE US WANTING FOR MORE.
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April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
what happened to the next chappies? did you remove them? i would say that this is a good seiferxzell story but i don't know if i would continue reading it once you've brought in squall in the scene, i'm not a fan of seiferxzellxsquall threesome. i'm faithful with irvinexsquall pairings but let's see what happens....
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January 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is so good! I read it after you posted it and I've been waiting for you to finish it. Please finish it? Please...
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November 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
nargh! is it just me, or has the sex in the first chapter disappeared? :( cos that was hot!
great story so far tho :D
great story so far tho :D
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August 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Aw, thanks for the plug! And sorry I took so long to get to this... life's been hectic. But now I've read it and it's great!
Since you're open to suggestion, I want to say this: the flow feels a little off at times. Like "while this was happening, he had done this," when it might have been better to say what's happening right when it is happening. It's one of the hardest things to do, though, keeping everthing in order. And sixty-nines are hard to write too! Er, for me, anywho. Not sure why. lol... You did a good job. Hottness all over the place. AND Squall being around -- that really got my ears perked up!
Just please, whatever you do, *please* don't make Squall into an asshole for the sake of keeping Seifer and Zell focused on one another. That'll make me sad.
Really surprised me when grandad showed up. Odd timing, but it fit, with all of this being about so much more than sex -- more than those two realize. :D It seemed like a huge conversation just stuck in the middle, though, like the rest of the story froze to make room for it. I can see it working better intermingled with the action, maybe. Though if it kinda flashed by in a split second the way thoughts tend to, pay no mind to my ramble.
I have sooo many outtakes like yours from chapters, and I save them all... I've considered sticking them on my webiste or something when the series is finished (someday, heh). Now I will. ^_^
Since you're open to suggestion, I want to say this: the flow feels a little off at times. Like "while this was happening, he had done this," when it might have been better to say what's happening right when it is happening. It's one of the hardest things to do, though, keeping everthing in order. And sixty-nines are hard to write too! Er, for me, anywho. Not sure why. lol... You did a good job. Hottness all over the place. AND Squall being around -- that really got my ears perked up!
Just please, whatever you do, *please* don't make Squall into an asshole for the sake of keeping Seifer and Zell focused on one another. That'll make me sad.
Really surprised me when grandad showed up. Odd timing, but it fit, with all of this being about so much more than sex -- more than those two realize. :D It seemed like a huge conversation just stuck in the middle, though, like the rest of the story froze to make room for it. I can see it working better intermingled with the action, maybe. Though if it kinda flashed by in a split second the way thoughts tend to, pay no mind to my ramble.
I have sooo many outtakes like yours from chapters, and I save them all... I've considered sticking them on my webiste or something when the series is finished (someday, heh). Now I will. ^_^
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July 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I'm sorry about that comment, it's just that you asked those questions in the end, and I wanted to answer them. I usually write the whole story before I post the chapters, so I can't really explain why I do that when I know that's useless. Won't do it again though,rnedrned my lesson.
Liked this chapter alot, sex is a powerful force.
// Zierra
Liked this chapter alot, sex is a powerful force.
// Zierra
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July 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hi, Zierra:
Why are you sorry for your comment? I was actually comending you for it. I was telling other reviewers to leave whatever speculations and predictions they have in a review, just like you did.
I don't start writing a following chapter until I see the response for the one before. That way I see what people like and what they don't like. I also get ideas and inspiration from comments. Like your comment of Zell initiating the kiss gave me a great idea.
Don't stop giving me ideas! The more thoughout reviews I get, the faster I write. (Yes, its evil and the reason it takes weeks to update. ~_~)
Grateful for her readers,
Naniris
EDIT: I forgot to mention this in the email I sent you. When I write, I have a skeletal plotline (beginning, middle, end) already planned out. The details, dialogue and specific scenes are added as I go along. For example, when I wrote chapter 1, I never knew that I was going to include Granpa Dincht in chapter 2. It was a snap decision that I liked.
Why are you sorry for your comment? I was actually comending you for it. I was telling other reviewers to leave whatever speculations and predictions they have in a review, just like you did.
I don't start writing a following chapter until I see the response for the one before. That way I see what people like and what they don't like. I also get ideas and inspiration from comments. Like your comment of Zell initiating the kiss gave me a great idea.
Don't stop giving me ideas! The more thoughout reviews I get, the faster I write. (Yes, its evil and the reason it takes weeks to update. ~_~)
Grateful for her readers,
Naniris
EDIT: I forgot to mention this in the email I sent you. When I write, I have a skeletal plotline (beginning, middle, end) already planned out. The details, dialogue and specific scenes are added as I go along. For example, when I wrote chapter 1, I never knew that I was going to include Granpa Dincht in chapter 2. It was a snap decision that I liked.