rate_review Reviews

This is not a fanfiction. This is poorly written masturbation fantasy submitted by a mentally deficient twelve year old. For the love of god delete this pile of horse semen and go commit suicide. This kind of shit is what gives fanfiction writers a bad name.

Um. Uh. Wow.

This is the worst fanfiction I've read in a long, long time. I swear I just lost some brain cells. I could say more, but I'm fairly sure you've heard it a thousand times already from other authors, so I'm only going to say this:

I snorted so many times reading through this horrible...thing? Is it even a story? Whatever it was, I am incredibly amused right now. Whoo.

*twitches*

you uh...you must have some real confidence in yourself. or perhaps it's that you don't and you're trying to reassure yourself how great and "pretty" you are. we've all been there, but uh...most of us don't write a badly written story about sex, ourselves and characters who...well, don't exist.

maybe you should try getting a beta?

I've read a lot of fanfiction. A lot. And that is the worst I have had the misfortune to read. It's terrible. The semi-sex scene was awfull to. I could write better in my sleep. And so could my parrot. I will not even appraoch chapters two and three, they'll be just as bad, This story needs to be locked away, and the key should be put in a vat of acid.

Boo upon you! Boo! You disgrace final fantasy. That's the worst story ever ever ever ever! So badly written, no thought put into it. It's so pathetic it's almost funny. Almost.... I think if you had put more thought into this, it would not be so bad. More description, better grammar. Reno and Cloud are very OOC (out of character) You should re-write this. Spend more time on it. Get opinions from people who know what they're doing. This is just a depraved fantasy which looked like it was written in ten minutes.

Delete this crap.

Okay . . . there are VERY FEW self-insert/Mary-Sue fics out there that garner respect. The ones that do are usually very well-written, keep the canon characters IN CHARACTER, and round out the OC, often giving them a fatal character flaw or some other imperfection that makes them believable.

This "fic" (if you can even call it that) does none of that.

I honestly don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut what you write in the privacy of your notebooks, but please, take the time to separate ramblings from actual fics. The ramblings, of which this "fic" is one, should not by any means be posted on the internet. I don't think I've seen ANY positive reviews for this ramble you've slopped together. I mean, let's get serious. Cloud raping Reno? For that matter, Cloud raping ANYONE? Spare me! Please, for everyone's sake, delete this and take some creative writing classes, because this babble made me want to break my Advent Children DVD. Then maybe come back and try it again.

I'll never say "stop writing", because I don't think anyone should ever just give up, but get a grip on the English language and grammar! The TAB key is your friend. Learn to make paragraphs. Flesh out your characters. One-sentence descriptions are not enough. Keep canon characters in character, even though you might not want to. Don't write lemons unless you know you're capable of them. Take your time! Please!! The world is not going to end just because you don't get a chapter up. Delete this fic and try again. And skip out on the Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus/Self-Inserts/whatever because frankly, you suck royally at them.

Have a nice day!

Have you had any good reviews for this story? I don't think I can even put up with reading the rest of this garbage. >> Yuck. Why are you still writing this? If it's all for your pleasure, keep it to yourself then.

Now, I don't mind if people write OCs or even Mary Sues. But my main problem with this is the way you portrayed Cloud and Reno. I mean, have you even played Final Fantasy VII? Do you even know who these characters are? Or did you, as I suspect, just see them in Advent Children (God only knows how you stumbled on that), think 'OMG THEY'RE, LIKE, TOTALY HAWT' and decide to stick them in your story? Because there is no way in hell these are two of my favorite characters.

I mean, come on. Why the hell would Cloud fight Reno over some dumb slut? Even though Reno and Cloud aren't exactly the best of friends, they have a sort of grudging respect for one another and wouldn't get all worked up over something as trivial as some woman's 'pussy'. Also, have you ever heard/seen either of them speak? Because I remember quite clearly the absence of 'doll' and 'baby' in their language, even when talking to women like Tifa or Aerith. You make them sound like that dumbass 'jocks' that line the halls in a high school.

God, they aren't even Cloud and Reno anymore. Just make it an original story and post it somewhere else, because people don't even need to know what FFVII is in order to understand the deep, psychological meaning hidden in the mass of shit you laughingly call a fanfiction. Here's a hint: fanfiction isn't called fiction because it's based off of someone else's ideas. If you completely maim that idea, then it isn't fanfiction anymore. It's just, usually, shit. As in, this fic.

So, in conclusion, why don't you get your 'HUR HUR FLAMES R FUNNEH' head out of your damn ass and listen to what the people flaming you (or, as I like to refer to them as, the people with common sense and maturity) and try to improve upon your writing. Make the characters act in ways that might be at least partially plausible, give some character development, maybe even add some REASON and LOGIC into your story. In short: delete this, and rewrite it at least 1,000 times better.

I want to kill myself.

o___o

Just...no.