schedule
February 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very nice story mate keep up the good work :)
schedule
October 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great story!!!...can't wait to see what happens next...!!!!!
schedule
October 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I am conflicted in regards to this fic. The spelling, grammar, and syntax are wonderful, I'm always up for some Sephiroth/Cloud, and the basic plot – while not terribly unique overall – is portrayed realistically enough to satisfy. For example, the detox method detailed in the fic is a good and believable way to avoid having to write about Cloud actually suffering from a withdrawal (though for the sake of realism and drama I personally would have done some research and gone ahead with it).
What bothers me is that many of the fic's big moments have so far occurred without warning, and the change has been an uncomfortably jarring case of literary whiplash each time. I refer specifically to both the introduction to Cloud's drug problem in the first chapter and Sephiroth's introduction in chapter seven/eight. While Cloud's drug problem had a "prologue" to set it up at least a little, Sephiroth's appearance in particular was a slap to the face. Technically, that kind of thing is not incorrect, as it can lend to drama and suspense, but with no previous in-story hint of his return (such as a recurring dream or a portion of a few chapters written about an otherwise unnamed character) the suddenness of his appearance was disorienting. And while it SHOULD be disorienting, that should mostly apply to the characters in the story and not so much the readers; that kind of abruptness creates vast, frustrating plotholes rather than a sense of mystery.
I also disagree, personally, with Cloud's even turning to drugs/alcohol in the first place – he's more the type to deny himself such escapes on the basis that he deserves the punishment of clarity regarding the various issues he blames himself for (such as the deaths of Aeris/Aerith, Zack, and Sephiroth). But I suppose the point is moot, really, since this is a fic about Cloud having a drug/alcohol problem; I'd just like to see, since the drugs/alcohol ARE such an issue, some concrete reasoning as to how the drugs/alcohol became so important when Cloud has always before seemed to prefer to dwell heavily on what he perceives to be errors he has committed.
Likewise, the rape in the first chapter seems out of place – Cloud has the strength of a SOLDIER and I doubt that a mako-based drug would have enough mako in it to render him so helpless even with his susceptibility to it (too much mako in a surely illegal drug would draw the attention of law enforcement when people who shared Cloud's weakness to it began to die). That aside, I assume that the implication is that Cloud was too wasted to really fight back; however, if he was that wasted one of two things would happen: either he would not know what Alex and Lloyd were doing to him until it was long over or he WOULD know and fight back, but without a clear mind to temper his strength he would kill one or both of them accidentally.
Lastly, I make note of the 'glow' drug. I recall no canonical evidence of it, though I have seen it before in the fic "Chi to Ase to Namida". While I make no claims as to who originally came up with it or if it is merely a coincidental congruence, if you HAVE taken the idea of 'glow' from that fic, please give credit. Not doing so makes you rude at best, a self-serving plagiarist at worst.
I truly think this is good work. I feel that it has currently untapped potential – with a bit more detail, clarification, and introspection it could be a great piece – but I am still interested in where things will go from here.
~LS
P.S. As for the "DRAMATIC decrease" in reviews, do keep in mind that the review page's default setting is to block anonymous reviews, which often make up a considerable percentage of a fic's total reviews. It is up to the author(s) of such fics to remove that block, as you have, so that readers like myself who are not registered with the site have the opportunity to leave a review, and is not necessarily a matter of readers simply refusing to review.
What bothers me is that many of the fic's big moments have so far occurred without warning, and the change has been an uncomfortably jarring case of literary whiplash each time. I refer specifically to both the introduction to Cloud's drug problem in the first chapter and Sephiroth's introduction in chapter seven/eight. While Cloud's drug problem had a "prologue" to set it up at least a little, Sephiroth's appearance in particular was a slap to the face. Technically, that kind of thing is not incorrect, as it can lend to drama and suspense, but with no previous in-story hint of his return (such as a recurring dream or a portion of a few chapters written about an otherwise unnamed character) the suddenness of his appearance was disorienting. And while it SHOULD be disorienting, that should mostly apply to the characters in the story and not so much the readers; that kind of abruptness creates vast, frustrating plotholes rather than a sense of mystery.
I also disagree, personally, with Cloud's even turning to drugs/alcohol in the first place – he's more the type to deny himself such escapes on the basis that he deserves the punishment of clarity regarding the various issues he blames himself for (such as the deaths of Aeris/Aerith, Zack, and Sephiroth). But I suppose the point is moot, really, since this is a fic about Cloud having a drug/alcohol problem; I'd just like to see, since the drugs/alcohol ARE such an issue, some concrete reasoning as to how the drugs/alcohol became so important when Cloud has always before seemed to prefer to dwell heavily on what he perceives to be errors he has committed.
Likewise, the rape in the first chapter seems out of place – Cloud has the strength of a SOLDIER and I doubt that a mako-based drug would have enough mako in it to render him so helpless even with his susceptibility to it (too much mako in a surely illegal drug would draw the attention of law enforcement when people who shared Cloud's weakness to it began to die). That aside, I assume that the implication is that Cloud was too wasted to really fight back; however, if he was that wasted one of two things would happen: either he would not know what Alex and Lloyd were doing to him until it was long over or he WOULD know and fight back, but without a clear mind to temper his strength he would kill one or both of them accidentally.
Lastly, I make note of the 'glow' drug. I recall no canonical evidence of it, though I have seen it before in the fic "Chi to Ase to Namida". While I make no claims as to who originally came up with it or if it is merely a coincidental congruence, if you HAVE taken the idea of 'glow' from that fic, please give credit. Not doing so makes you rude at best, a self-serving plagiarist at worst.
I truly think this is good work. I feel that it has currently untapped potential – with a bit more detail, clarification, and introspection it could be a great piece – but I am still interested in where things will go from here.
~LS
P.S. As for the "DRAMATIC decrease" in reviews, do keep in mind that the review page's default setting is to block anonymous reviews, which often make up a considerable percentage of a fic's total reviews. It is up to the author(s) of such fics to remove that block, as you have, so that readers like myself who are not registered with the site have the opportunity to leave a review, and is not necessarily a matter of readers simply refusing to review.
schedule
September 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
WOW what an awesome story! Okay so I knew eventually Sephy would get a chance to come back, but I couldn't help but to cry when he was at the gate and then cried again when Cloud cried his name in the tub *Sniffles* I read this in one sitting and I know AFF fans don't review much, but I do! I hope this review is enough to make you want to continue this. Your writing is extremely beautiful and flows well, even better you pull across emotions amazingly to the point where the reader feels the pain, sorrow, relief, and happiness as strongly as the characters. Keep up the wonderful work! I look forward to the next chapter.
schedule
June 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
it's a realy good story and you should write more, pleazes.
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June 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
please more, though Lost Cloud is more yummy than Healing Cloud:P
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March 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story, I am hoping for more very soon!
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October 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
interesting. I hope there will be a little Cloud/Reeves coming soon. Or whatever Cloud pairing you have planned. I love this. More soon!
schedule
August 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
its really good can't wait until the pairing is revealed =^.~=, keep up the good work guys peace an i hope ya'll update soon!!!
schedule
August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A Cloud on Drugs story! I've never actually seen one of these before and it's really quite unique! Although personally I'd LOVE to go through the detoxing that Cloud went through if I was a user and ignore that whole 'shaking, vomiting, seeing things, fits of anger, ect' effects of purging the stuff from my system. I can't wait to see more of this story (and wonder if Sephiroth will make a comeback) so please keep posting! As for the steady decress of reviews, I think it's because people are starting school/college/univeristy and don't have much time to read/review the stories. Anyways, I'm eager to see if Vincent is gonna be humping the sweet blonde!