schedule
July 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm not really sure where to start in this review - I guess from the beginning?
Your wording is pretty bad, not to mention confusing. Try using longer sentences with a bit more back story as to what's going on. The way you've currently worded things is vague and confusing, leaving me wondering just what exactly it is that's going on and what point it is you're trying to make.
Another problem with this story is the lack of paragraph breaks; you have everything clumped together which makes reading very difficult.
The writing style is unclear and your grammar is poor, I highly suggest finding a beta to help correct your story.
Your wording is pretty bad, not to mention confusing. Try using longer sentences with a bit more back story as to what's going on. The way you've currently worded things is vague and confusing, leaving me wondering just what exactly it is that's going on and what point it is you're trying to make.
Another problem with this story is the lack of paragraph breaks; you have everything clumped together which makes reading very difficult.
The writing style is unclear and your grammar is poor, I highly suggest finding a beta to help correct your story.
schedule
January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
ooh oohh~~
cant wait for you to update :]
really enjoyed reading this~
cant wait for you to update :]
really enjoyed reading this~
schedule
January 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OMG
you have to hurry with the next chap,
and waht the hell did Reno do
who's trying to kill him, or who tried to kill him?
so many qyuestion
please hurry!
-angelD
you have to hurry with the next chap,
and waht the hell did Reno do
who's trying to kill him, or who tried to kill him?
so many qyuestion
please hurry!
-angelD
schedule
January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great start! Very emotionally gripping. I felt myself pulled in the moment I read the first sentence. It puts the reader right in the middle of the character's emotions, bringing them to life. Somehow this fic felt very real. I'd like to know how Reno gets shot, and what happened between Reno and Tseng. The only thing I would fix is the formatting. The sentences run together in huge paragraphs and it makes it difficult to read. Other than that, I enjoyed it. Please continue!