rate_review Reviews

I am loving this story. Nothing like a brutally slow seduction while characters annoy the shit out of each other. It is my favorite thing ever in the whole world.

I am particularly impressed that you chose relationships: expert mode and gave them the maximal amount of hatred for each other. Lore is also very well done. Ordinarily I shy away from Mpreg because it seems to me to be an excuse to render male character's gooey for the sake of it, but simply generating a character off-stage is a bold move that really adds a lot to the story without needlessly feminizing Squall. In fact, it rather does the reverse, making him feel the need to emphasize his masculinity. Personally I like my guys a bit bish and don't go in for the macho, but allowing Squall the agency to defend his gender feels very genuine and provides yet another excellent note of tension. I am in awe that you are working with Seifer at his maximal level of jerkitude as well. The fact that you've gotten them from there to here (admitting love and preparing to announce it publicly) is pretty amazing, especially considering how convincing you've made the change.

Regarding Deus Ex Machina. I am... disturbed, more by Cale's murder than by Seifer's idiodic rape. So much so in fact that when the sweeper mission began, my remark to my partner was "oh dear, there's a new character. Last time THAT happened, Squall's boyfriend was murdered right in front of him." When I get pulled that far out of the action to analyze a character's function before they've even begun, it's usually a sign that something is bothering me. I understand that Cale's presence was important for Squall's emotional development and Seifer's provocation, and likewise that he wasn't going to let go without being... removed. I'm not sure why it was so disturbing, I suppose. Breaking Squall just then may have been extremely useful as far as the story goes, but it felt just a little contrived, just a bit cruel for the sake of cruelty. Still, I can deal, the rest of the story has made it well worth it. Regarding the rape scene, I think I am more appalled that Seifer, despite being as experienced with women as he is, was so insensate to the response of his partner. It actually seemed a little unbelievable to me, even if I grant that he was very occupied and ignorant. This is also why I categorize it, provisionally, as rape. He didn't pay attention to cues. Of course it was convenient in forcing Squall to step back from an otherwise irresistible gravitational pull for a time, making things much more interesting. I am pleased that they've moved beyond it. It's forgivable, he desired to make it right, and Squall had the strength to allow him to. I may view it as mostly rape, but that doesn't mean it's the worst thing ever. Most importantly, you allowed them both to process their feelings on the matter, have their own agency to respond to it, and reinforced their consent in subsequent activities. Because of that, I don't feel it was trivialized as it so often is. In fact, triviality is almost completely absent. While characters will sometimes get pissed and run off, it's generally for very real emotional reasons, well-explained. No comedy of errors bullshit, "oh he said the 'wrong thing.'" Your plot coupons may be heavy-handed, but they pack real emotional punches, and for that I am permanently along for the ride.

I am pleased by the sexual dynamic between Squall and Seifer, and the course of their seduction. Something about the scene after the funeral when Squall was like "we can have sex if you want, just let me sleep," was just vulnerable and touching. In fact I love everything about the sex they have, after the one incident. It's fascinating seeing Seifer slowly redefine for himself what constitutes acceptable actions in bed, and I can't wait to see how it progresses.

I am going to be watching updates for this with great interest. Your characters interact beautifully, and Lore is written well and anchored splendidly such that I can easily forget that he's original. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. Thanks for writing, the effort must be Herculean.

Win! Aaaaah, what is this, like my 10th time reading this through ~ still good, still makes my day better ~
<3

It's been a while. I just reread the entire fic and of course still enjoy it immensely. Just wondering if you are indeed still planning to finish and if so, you can count on me to beta the rest if you like. I know how life gets in the way of fanfiction. I myself just finally finished a piece ad posted it. I miss the days when I had all the time in the world for writing... Being a grown up sucks... ^_^ Not really, but sometimes. Anyhow, I hope to Hyne you do plan to finish this soon, especially since it's so close to the end. Let me know if you need me to beta. My email is the same as always. Hope you're doing well.

Ciao

It's always sad to see a story this amazing go unfinished. Where you've stopped could work for an ending but its also a perfect turning point to continue the story. I hope someday I comeback here to find an update even a small one.

50 is toooootally the right #!! XD

I've re-read the story and kind of taken my time with the last 5 or so chapters. The parts involving potential heartbreak still make my inside ache. Aaahh, emotions. Lovely business when done right. ;3. And here we have the spell dissolved and now our boys need to find their footing... Or more likely stumble into it face first. Excellent!! (Loooove the part with Dennis(?) and Seifer, lolz. Alpha males, as much of a pain as it is to deal with the ego, can't help but be endeared by the possessiveness.. At least in a story with a dynamic like these two have, right?! XD

Sooooooooooooooo, mm.. Since I saved a fairy, do we get another chapter???? Looolz, darlin', thank you!

Can't wait to see how this comes together. Even the slightest narrator foreshadowing of the future (in summary form?) would be sooooooooo great! :9.

<3

been checking back here 4 a year and i guess its official ..you have falling wayside like every other FF author..something u said u would not do..It was nice while it lasted. It was was a great read and i did love it so. goodnight.

Well I gotta hand it to you this is beautifully done. I've spent every spare minute of the last 4 days reading this marvelous fic. The tone the descriptive quality was astounding. The intimate scenes were written in the most tasteful manner and the progressive evolution of the relationship and subsequent back peddeling acomplished quite without flaw. I often equate myself to Squall as I identify with his personality most frequently, and I was very impressed and heartened to see someone else could capture the social ackwardness that is falling truely in love for the first time. Seifer was also remarkably well written. While not realizing it he became steadily more affectionate to Squall and it really struck a cord with me seeing as his personality is the other main one I display. Arrogant and proud yet surprisingly tender if not in a large part crass and vulgar, the way Seifer is written culminated the commanding leader aspect with the egomaniac, progressing into a matured, if not still some what childish in attitude and mannerism, man who ultimately does endevor to earn Squall's love and getting to know his son. Which brings me to precious little Lore. I adored this child, his attitude is exactly what I'd expect. I couldn't fathom any thing for the child's personality and over all the father complex but the revelations in the most recent chapter left me reeling and brought to light why the boy would have become so overprotective of his father. The emotions in the whole fic are real and raw. There is quite a bit of merit to Seifer's words of Irvine secretly (even from himself) being in love with Squall, quiet and distant as he is, he is also undenyably attractive. What else to say? Oh yes the interactions and descriptions of Diablos (in the one chapter you only called him Diablo, I'm not sure if the error was repeated later as I was too engrossed in the story to nit-pick over it) were masterful though I'd prefer to think the GF's can communicate on the same level as humans rather than just guttural growls and such, I mean Ifrit, Diablos, Brothers, and Bahamut actually spoke to the party, but otherwise the in the interests of Diablos I nearly had a heart attack when it/he was examining Squall I was half tempted to think that he'd have raped Squall, love Squall as I do and how I'd never wish that on him for real, I was a little disappointed that it didn't happen. Loved the T-rexuar variation, a nice touch to be sure. Really I'm at a loss for anything more to say. I was addicted to this fic. I have as far as I can tell orgasmed from reading this more in the past four days than I usually do reading ANY story with smutty content. Seifer's aggressive nature in bed had me blushing and sweating, and Squall's pleasure had me crying out in delight as if I were him, feeling what he felt. It's rare as a reader that I FEEL what a character feels. The story must be written in just such a way and this was done in just that way. Masterful, erotic, sensual, violent, heart-rending, graceful, gritty, there are truely too few words that can encompass this fic in it's full splendor. the only final thoughts I have that might make this story better is if what Seifer wants to talk to Squall about is the subject of them getting married. I chuckle even as I type this because I can already see that impossibly innocent face of Squall as he tries to comprehend Seifer in essence proposing to him. But this is just what I see in my head I have no idea how you will bring it home but I await it with baited breath and an ache in my heart that the story is nearly over.

This is one of my favorite stories. I just found it recently and was instantly hooked. I love your characterizations of everyone, but Squall, Irvine, Laguna, and Seifer were especially good. I also love your new characters Lore and Cale. The relationships are the best part, though. Thank you for sharing this story.

I'm saving the faeries! Which means I've finished the last (updated)chapter. It was bittersweet and left me with questions and want to knows and all that so please try to finish even if its just an epilogue. I need more confirmation on Seifer and Lore's relationship, and for the others to accept Seifer and Squall properly like good friends should especially that Irvine. And like you said in a previous author's notes and I quote "I have no intention of abandoning this story, so even if it takes me forever to update, there will eventually be an update" I can wait forever but my eyes might be too old to read by then :o)Great story from beginning to semi end I was enthralled and entertained and emotional all signs of a good time had. Can't wait to read your other stuff.