AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Defining Love

by DB2020

person ZE
schedule September 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Finally caught up again. Still and interesting read, but I'm hesitant about the prospect of Squall being pregnant again. Do they really need another kid around to complicate things? I'm glad Lore and Seifer are getting along better though, even if it's setting up for him to send Lore away to Garden.
schedule August 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
DB-

Over the past week or so I've done little but sleep, work, and read this story (and a couple of your one-shots). I've enjoyed almost every minute of it and I think you write pretty well. I enjoy the plot and the character development a lot. I appreciate that sometimes you write the lemons, and sometimes you leave them assumed. I really admire your ability to make the story seem to have a realistic time frame, unlike so many authors who rush plots into a few short days or weeks. I'm slightly disappointed in the lack of appearances by characters other than the main five or six you're focusing on, but that's your choice I suppose. Still, you leave your readers wondering "What happened to Zell?" "What is Quistis doing?" "Does Laguna have a love life?" Unanswered questions can be a huge distraction to some readers.

You definitely need an editor. I, like most writer/readers, understand the difficulty in proofing your own material so, when reading a quality story, I tend to forgive the typos and occasional spelling/grammar errors. However, there are some major discrepencies in some places that need polish (the height of Seifer's training center is an example). I would like to offer my services to your story, if you're interested.

Before you post up any more chapters, now that I've finally reached the current update, I can't help but beg you not to throw another kid into the mix. It's been done and it's growing cliche >.> I'd really like to see how Seifer and Squall and Lore develop their relationship without the whole "now you have a chance to be a father" thing. Of course, I can't stop you if that's what you really want, but nonetheless if you're at all on the fence, I encourage you against it... a false alarm or miscarriage could be just as valuable to your plot if you twist it well.

Oh! I had almost forgotten, since it was over thirty chapters ago. I absolutely applaud you for having Seifer walk away from his son in the beginning of the story. I loved it when I read it the first time and I'm still pleased with it this late in the story.

You did an excellent job with Cale's character, in my opinion. At times I found myself wishing Squall would fall for him, which just means you wrote him really well. He was interesting--I always wanted to know more about him--and I'm a little disappointed that you killed him off and the /way/ he died :(

Anyway, I've gone on long enough. I look forward to your next update, and keep my offer in mind. Thank you for your words,

Aerawyn
schedule August 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
*whistles whistles whistles* Lol~ I've just spent the last month or so re-reading the entire inventory of ficcies by Sukunami-san~ (who also happens to be a fan of yours, http://www.doushi-sumeragi.net/fanfic/index01.htm ) ooooh how I lament not being able to contribute to the fandom *le~sigh* when there's so few ladies left that write these boys soooooooooooooooo well~~~~~ Oh! and of course I've gone through you're inventory as well. *sweet smile* :3 Yup... like dessert~~~~ ;9

Hope all is well~
*twiddles thumbs and resumes whistling nonchalantly*
person Loki
schedule August 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
YES! YES YES YES! I knew he was gonna get pregnant again (please oh please say he's definitely pregnant again, and it's definitely a baby girl right?). I'm sorry, I can't remember whether or not I've reviewed before, but just in case; I've read everything you've written on AFF and think it's all of incredible quality with great storylines and characterization, and lots of fantastic smexiness! And pregnant!Squall + dazedfather!Seifer = joy. Keep up the fantastic work.
~Loki
person Ange
schedule August 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
YES!! I love me some mpreg. And seriously, no matter what's going to happen next--whether you're gonna make Squall pregnant or not, write the pregnancy in details or not--I trust you. You are that great of a writer.
person Ariolstras
schedule July 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay I've read Protecting The Lion and I'm almost through Strings Attached and I have to say of the three, this is the best. Oh and by the way, I've tried reading some of the other work on the this website and cannot seem to get into it. You are an awesome writer! Your stories are so good they are mesmerizing. I have not gone to bed some nights because they are so good and I just wanted to keep reading. With this story I just can't get enough. Other than it being just a little slow I have no complaints what so ever. Please hurry and update.
schedule July 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
@_@
=_=
+_+
Q__Q
;_______; *cries* ((*_______*)) whut happens neeeeext.. **cries like a pudgy baby that had it's pacifier taken out of it's mouth with no warning**

chap.44
a cruel way to bait us~
cruel and delicious way to bait us... **skulks back to hide under aaaaall her piles of blankets in wait for the next chapter**

**hugs**
person dark_amphibian
schedule July 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh! I LOVED the scene with Diablo looking at Squall's stomach! Actually, the whole bit with Squall taking the chance and setting him loose was awesome. Just as a data point, I'm not rabid about mpregs - like, it's not a reason to read a fic...but on the other hand, it's not a reason to avoid one, either. Certainly it wouldn't make me QUIT reading one that I'm enjoying this much!

So please continue on however you see fit. I'm thoroughly enjoying the story :-)
person nlb
schedule July 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I think I have an unhealthy obsession with your story. There are tons f things I should be doing at the moment, but the second I saw that a new chapter was out, I kept reading and re-reading the whole thing. ^^;
It's incredible how you keep everyone in character and I loved the scenes with Diablo. Morning sickness? Now there's something to look forward to...*cackle*
person Yusei
schedule July 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i really enjoyed reading this chap it was sooo good ^^ and i can't to find out what hapens next