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November 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I have returned, needing a break from my own project. Am I heading in the wrong way here or is Axys going to WEAR these three OUT ? I'm liking her already, really liking her.
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November 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh ... oh my god, that's so NASTY ... I just wish I had more time to read the next chapter ... I'm actually blushing a weensy weensy bit - which really says something because I have such a dirty mind I should get an award for it -- anyway! thx a bunch for reviewing my story -- i'm working on chapter 20 at the moment, so I shall be back later to read more of this naughty adventure -- i hope it gets extra-filthy! I want it to get so nasty that I start printing out copies for myself. ^_^
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October 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Damn you. I'm all misty again. I hate how you rushed through it, but I still loved every damn thing you did. Ahhhhhhhhhh!! I can't believe he fucking KILLED HER!!!!!
I need java and a cigarette or two, as well.
I'm such a SAP.
Bravo, m'lady.
I need java and a cigarette or two, as well.
I'm such a SAP.
Bravo, m'lady.
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October 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"Sock puppet friend"?
My eyebrows just did curious things.
My eyebrows just did curious things.
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October 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I have no inkling in hell of... how you would go about fixing this situation hahahaha - at least, not in a way that would be satisfying or interesting.
This is your game, as you said - not mine.
I'm a little curious about how they were all suddenly overcome with rage though... when they were with Jenova. I caught the notion that Yazoo didn't want to hurt Axys, and yet felt overwhelmed to do so..? It seemed inconsistant with the fic's beginning, when Yazoo fell in love with her despite still believing in the whole Mother/Plan Thing. I've quieted my disagreement with this by telling myself that Jenova decided at that specific time and place to simply fill them all with this uncontrollable urge to hate/destroy but.. I don't know? Let me in on your version? That part made me feel a bit foggy.
I'm happy that you still stick to your guns despite any plot suggestions or what not that may be hurled at you. If you indeed decide that I will make a suitable beta, it offers me an abundant amount of comfort knowing that I can say/suggest whatever the hell I want and yet the integrity of the original story will remain intact.
It's important, after all, with it being YOUR fic.
Until Next Time, then.
Savannah.
This is your game, as you said - not mine.
I'm a little curious about how they were all suddenly overcome with rage though... when they were with Jenova. I caught the notion that Yazoo didn't want to hurt Axys, and yet felt overwhelmed to do so..? It seemed inconsistant with the fic's beginning, when Yazoo fell in love with her despite still believing in the whole Mother/Plan Thing. I've quieted my disagreement with this by telling myself that Jenova decided at that specific time and place to simply fill them all with this uncontrollable urge to hate/destroy but.. I don't know? Let me in on your version? That part made me feel a bit foggy.
I'm happy that you still stick to your guns despite any plot suggestions or what not that may be hurled at you. If you indeed decide that I will make a suitable beta, it offers me an abundant amount of comfort knowing that I can say/suggest whatever the hell I want and yet the integrity of the original story will remain intact.
It's important, after all, with it being YOUR fic.
Until Next Time, then.
Savannah.
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October 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Oh nooooooooo!!!! You DID have something up your sleeve!!! Hahahahaha.. Reading this chapter was like a bitch slap.
As far as being your beta goes - If you'd really like me to be, then I will do my best.
As far as being your beta goes - If you'd really like me to be, then I will do my best.
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
( Furious Applause )
JUST for the record: I got all choked up and almost cried in my coffee.
Wow. See - you know how to rock out ( with your cock out ). My number one rule of writing is You've Got To Make The Audience Fall In Love With The Character.. even if you have the greatest story in the world, if the character isn't liked - there is no story. I LOVE getting into their heads. Love it when you take me there. Love it. This draft, hands down, at least ten times more satisfying than the first.
( Does the dance ).
JUST for the record: I got all choked up and almost cried in my coffee.
Wow. See - you know how to rock out ( with your cock out ). My number one rule of writing is You've Got To Make The Audience Fall In Love With The Character.. even if you have the greatest story in the world, if the character isn't liked - there is no story. I LOVE getting into their heads. Love it when you take me there. Love it. This draft, hands down, at least ten times more satisfying than the first.
( Does the dance ).
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October 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
As for the Kadag and Loz question.
In all honesty, I think it would be skipping around an awful lot.... a too-major shift in focus. HOWEVER, I don't know where this plot is going, so this supposed Loz/Kadaj chapter may very well be necessary hard and fast and NOW.
But from where I stand, if I were to click over to chapter 16, and read something pertaining to Loz or Kadaj, my head would turn at an odd angle and my eye would twitch.
In all honesty, I think it would be skipping around an awful lot.... a too-major shift in focus. HOWEVER, I don't know where this plot is going, so this supposed Loz/Kadaj chapter may very well be necessary hard and fast and NOW.
But from where I stand, if I were to click over to chapter 16, and read something pertaining to Loz or Kadaj, my head would turn at an odd angle and my eye would twitch.
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October 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... I think that it is fine, perhaps it needs more depth and musing, is all. Explain more, let the characters feel and think more.. extend their emotions and thoughts to us so that we may appreciate Them and This. Get yourself in there.
I had wondered where you'd gone - not happy to see that you are frustrated, but I'm glad that you're back.. I think this story is excellent and very promising.. I just can't help but feel you've grown tired of it. The intensity in which you started this was overwhelming and amazing; completely sucked me in. Now it seems that you just want to get another chapter over with, without dishing out or going into too many details.
I'm not trying to be an ass, by the way - please, pleased don't think of it - I do love the story, I'm just hungry for more of what you've got in that brilliant head of yours.
Keep in touch.
Savannah
p.s. Would you email me the next time you update? possibly? maybe? pretty please? ( SavannahandSophia@hotmail.com
I had wondered where you'd gone - not happy to see that you are frustrated, but I'm glad that you're back.. I think this story is excellent and very promising.. I just can't help but feel you've grown tired of it. The intensity in which you started this was overwhelming and amazing; completely sucked me in. Now it seems that you just want to get another chapter over with, without dishing out or going into too many details.
I'm not trying to be an ass, by the way - please, pleased don't think of it - I do love the story, I'm just hungry for more of what you've got in that brilliant head of yours.
Keep in touch.
Savannah
p.s. Would you email me the next time you update? possibly? maybe? pretty please? ( SavannahandSophia@hotmail.com
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September 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
".. No, I haven't seen Vincent in Chaos form . . . "
THAT - was funny.
I think you were very decent concerning the birthing scene. You didn't go way too into it, which was a great move - and you didn't skip out on it either - I don't think a straight scene jump from "My water broke! Shit!" to "He is here! He has sprung from ze loins!" would have worked for the story, since it does seem to center/feed from the characters steady climb to growing with and experiancing one another. However, going into detail by detail drawn-out account over her labor progression/breathing technique/birthing position and yaddy dee la da would've taken too much from the story as a whole ( I feel ).
And DAMN about Yazoo's baggage. I mean DAMN. ShinRa had his family offed? Yeah. I'd get sexily bitter and psychotic, too...
go on rampages.....
rape hot, mortally wounded turks....
THAT - was funny.
I think you were very decent concerning the birthing scene. You didn't go way too into it, which was a great move - and you didn't skip out on it either - I don't think a straight scene jump from "My water broke! Shit!" to "He is here! He has sprung from ze loins!" would have worked for the story, since it does seem to center/feed from the characters steady climb to growing with and experiancing one another. However, going into detail by detail drawn-out account over her labor progression/breathing technique/birthing position and yaddy dee la da would've taken too much from the story as a whole ( I feel ).
And DAMN about Yazoo's baggage. I mean DAMN. ShinRa had his family offed? Yeah. I'd get sexily bitter and psychotic, too...
go on rampages.....
rape hot, mortally wounded turks....