rate_review Reviews

For some reason, this is how I picture chapter 16:

Cloud: *comes running into his dorm* "CAM! Cam you won't beleive it!"
Cam: "Wha' the fawk?! Tell me!"
Cloud: "I found someone who's a bigger fag than me!"
Cam: "No shit! Who?"
Cloud: "Rufus Shina! He did my nails." *shows Cam*

I'll give a real review when my brain stops melting from the hilarity of Sephiroth and his pink...thingy.

FINISH IT FOR FUCKING GODS SAKE PLESE FUCKING PLEASE.

freaking awesome.

Let me go ahead and start by giving a boring technical review.

You've been proofreading/editing the most recent chapters haven't you? Well played. Early on, your technique was a little rough and I noticed a lot of little errors here and there. Just stupid little things like typos and whatnot, sometimes an awkward sentence. But you had a good story and your use of descriptive language kept me intrigued.

Lately, though. Wow. Not only have your strong points improved, but your weak points have pretty much disappeared. Your style is a lot cleaner, typos are virtually non-existent and there's really nothing that distracts from the story anymore. I'm really impressed at how quickly things have changed between the first and most recent chapters. (technique-wise)

As for the story, wow. Just amazing. As a guy who grew up in a rural town, was closeted his whole life and then escaped to the big city to go to uni...and then came out, I find myself relating to Cloud and seeing a lot of my experiences and feelings played out by this blonde beauty. A friend of mine recommended this story to me because she said Cloud was exactly like me. She really meant personality-wise but as I read along, I found that he and I were a lot more alike than she realized.

I guess what you can take from that is this: congratulations on creating a very real gay character. ha ha.

But seriously, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the outstanding job you've done in creating a gay version of Cloud.

As for our beloved General. Having been with a couple of older fellas (professors!!) I can definitely say that our dear General is quite realistic as well. Kudos to you.

Okay, so. Sex scenes are just. Sweet fucking baby jesus. So beautifully descriptive that the boys seem to radiate from my computer screen directly into my mind's eye. I mean. Text never seemed so real?

If I had never had sex before, I could read this and feel like I'd lost my V-card. Does that make sense? Because I'm not really sure how else to put this other than reading your sex scenes makes me want to go out and fuck the consciousness out of someone. Fuck them right into a coma. Or so that they couldn't walk anymore. And I don't mean that in the crass, ooh, I fucked them so hard they couldn't walk straight for a while" manner but more like, I gave them an orgasm so powerful that it caused their brain to lose control over basic motor skills.

That is what you do to me. Couple that with the fact that Cloud pretty much IS me and you have yourself a story that's got me BEGGING for the next chapter.

So, definitely keep them coming and thanks for what you've done so far.

Jarrett

I have to tell you, about something, dear.

Your story single-handedly brought me out of my typical winter depression (which unfortunately has lasted waaaaay into the warm months #$@!^*) It is absolutely farken awesome, to see a feel-good story written by someone that has complete control over the English language. (Ya know, the difference between to, too and two--wait and weight etc etc) And the fact that I can see some of your personality --methinks, anyway, in your writing style. I bet you are super fun to hang out with. PLEASE keep feeding your muse, I am in love with this story, and probably all the other ones that will eventually squirm their way out!!

*tackles chibi Cloud and gives him noogies*

Hmmhmm... Very, very, extremely good. Well written, nice verbage and grammarness, quite muchly great wellness.

Aww, who the fuck am I kidding, I fucking LOVED IT! XD I love Cloud's attitude, I love his mom, I love Sephiroth, I love the whole music thing (I wanna listen to Anal Orgasm~!), I LOVED. EVERYTHING. It's even nice to look at your "chapter images" and stuff, those help me envision the story even better. Don't normally see that with authors.

Now, I'm just wondering where this story is going to go from here. Oh what do you have planned for Sephiroth and Cloud? Any dramas? Happiness forever? Hmmm hmm hmm!

And the little note at the end of this chapter, about the AIDs thing... Maybe you can give it to Seph, 'cept he was immune to it/his body healed itself, and he can be the cure for AIDs and all other diseases! ;D Juuuust... there are possibly suggestive ways to obtain the cure, which might only be available to Cloud (obvious), soo... there be a dilemma! Or not. lol, just suggesting crazy shit that shouldn't be taken into consideration, shared merely for possible shits and giggles. ^^

But... daaaamn I want to read more! :( But maybe you'll update with a new chapter in a few days, I'll check every so often (like every ten minutes! lmao jk) in hopes that there'll be something more!

Good luck with the rest of your writing, for I hope you don't overcome the dreaded WRITER'S BLOCK! that all authors fear. Believe me. They all fear it. Deep down. Somewhere. Yeah. I've been there before. It's some scary shit. Still is. Yep.

...I'll stop typing now. XD

Ok, I've caught up, and now I can breathe and take a moment to review. My apologies for not doing it every chapter, but I was so eager to continue, well, I just did. lol

Truthfully, I really put off reading this story. The description sounded painfully OOC and I kept skipping over it, and skipping over it... Well, finally, I was reading all these rave reviews in random places for your story and then I said to myself, "oh, fuck it," and here I am.

I was hooked from the first few paragraphs. I like how you write Cloud, angsty, but not horrendously so. Of course, him coming out of his shell, making that conscious decision, that was so awesome. I also love how Sephiroth is unsure, and yet not. Bleh, pretty much, let's say this: I just love everything. I love the snippets of humor, the way you portray everyone (ESPECIALLY Cloud's mother). It's all just wonderful, and now I really can't wait for updates.

Grats, this fic is complete awesomesauce. XD

Ah, fun chapter - April and Rhonda continue to be awesome, the boys are all cute at the zoo and at home and at work and... yeah, everywhere, and Zack manages to be both sweet and obnoxious at once with his heartfelt proposal over the phone. And his other propositions. :D

When that girl says Genny, I can only imagine it sounding like Jenny. (Wonder if anyone ever called his extra testicle mom by that nickname?) Also wonder if Rufus' trip to Seph's office has anything to do with Vincent's wrath. (Glad we won't have to wait too long to find out.) And it's nice to know the fic's going to stay feel-good. 'Cause that quality is why reading it feels... uh, good. (Damn, need more words...) Looking forward to fifteen, anyway.

I keep trying to think of something profound to say and all I keep coming up with is, "I fucking love this story!!" Another awesome chapter! I did think Zack was being a bit of an asshole and Seph too, a little, at the end, but I consoled myself with the hope that was what Seph meant when he asked Cloud not to call him on his bullshit. I may be wrong, but I couldn't see any other reason for it. Zack needed a slap though, love him though I do!

Looking forward to the next update!

xD Yay finally an update! WHHOOOOOOO! lol It was of course, awesome. :3 Can't wait to read more, don't leave us hanging forever now ;D