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for Left Out

by Rina76

schedule August 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh wow... very nice. I like the way you're going with this. Kadaj and Yazoo are dangerous and Loz knows it, but Kadaj's gentleness throws him - yet he doesn't trust either one of them so the tension stays high. That's hard to do, btw. I'm really enjoying this. Can't wait to see what happens with Yazoo. ^_~
person pink_angel_wings
schedule August 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like it (I typed lick at first & had to go back & change it ^_^). You did a good job characterizing Loz - I think he would lose it and scream at the two. For some reason their incest doesn't bother me. I don't know why ... anyway - I hope you continue! I gotta read the next chappie & see who's gettin nekkie ^_^
person pink_angel_wings
schedule August 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm thinking one of Loz's strengths would be as a bear and a top & that Kadaj would secretly get off on that, maybe a little too much(?) Loz could really work that little bod & be unmerciful to his smaller brother. I like Loz, too - he's beefy and not a big thinker. Plz continue. Don't make me hunt you down! ^_^
person lolita
schedule July 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
awesome story please continue!! :D
person Raiast
schedule July 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
oooh, oh no, you definitely aren't the only one that wants to read something like this. lol

I love the way you capture all of their personalities. The way some people write Yazoo and Kadaj together is ridiculous and completely OOC, but you kept them in their personas perfectly. I imagine Kadaj would have acted just that way being caught in that kind of situation.

Love it. Don't listen to what weird people say. Keep going.
person oztan
schedule July 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I was hopping to Loz to go away for a while. So his two brother know how much they really need him.
person juri
schedule July 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Nicely written! I especially liked the visual from Loz's comparison of Kadaj's hair to strands of metal. The balance of "hard" and "soft" of the characters and their behaviors/interactions is very good.

I love all three of them together. Kadaj is being wonderfully Kadaj, but Yazoo needs to comfort his Loz! :) I would love to see more.
person fyrbyrd
schedule July 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh yes please more. This is definitely what I want to read!
person norr
schedule July 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I´d like to read more very much! Its great, especially that you kept everone ic so very well. please update?
person Anon
schedule July 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm so tired that I'm just gonna say 'WRITE MOAR NAO.'

hope that got the message across...~~