schedule
August 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi. I think this story has potential for hotness, but you need a beta reader to help you with spelling, etc. I'm guessing English isn't your first language(?)
schedule
August 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I started reading this but had to stop because the formatting errors were too distracting. Also it seems like there are words missing in some of your sentences. If you would fix these problems I'd give the story another try.