schedule
February 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I... I really don't have too much to say, other than what Pairing Guy has already pointed out, except...
More please?
More please?
schedule
November 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It's Feral, not Ferrel.
Other than that, I'd like to see where you take this.
Other than that, I'd like to see where you take this.
schedule
November 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Relm is too wizened at the beginning, but otherwise the characterizations here are very good. Just a few problems:
1."The Ferrel Boy" should be "The feral boy".
2.The amount of time that's passed since Kefka's defeat is inconsistent. Sometimes you say it's been 7 years, sometimes 10 years.
3.I'd like to know why Relm carries around her feces in a cloth belt. Why doesn't she just leave them in the woods or whatever? Does she like showing off her own droppings to people? It's just...weird.
Anyway, otherwise I like that you've taken this to several years after FF6; it's too weird when Gau/Relm romance happens just a month or two after. And Relm's good and rebellious and self-centered, as we've always known her. I like how quickly she gets offended by everyone, especially her grandfather. The flashbacks with Gau were great, too, not too corny. I'm glad that you don't make him into a doofus like most writers seem to; Gau is essentially very intelligent and cunning. Overall one of the best things I've seen in the FF6 section.
1."The Ferrel Boy" should be "The feral boy".
2.The amount of time that's passed since Kefka's defeat is inconsistent. Sometimes you say it's been 7 years, sometimes 10 years.
3.I'd like to know why Relm carries around her feces in a cloth belt. Why doesn't she just leave them in the woods or whatever? Does she like showing off her own droppings to people? It's just...weird.
Anyway, otherwise I like that you've taken this to several years after FF6; it's too weird when Gau/Relm romance happens just a month or two after. And Relm's good and rebellious and self-centered, as we've always known her. I like how quickly she gets offended by everyone, especially her grandfather. The flashbacks with Gau were great, too, not too corny. I'm glad that you don't make him into a doofus like most writers seem to; Gau is essentially very intelligent and cunning. Overall one of the best things I've seen in the FF6 section.