schedule
May 6, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I loved the very unique idea of this story. I wish you had done some more detail filling in like in between the times that vicious was not with cloud. and maybe a little bit after they were reunited.
Aside from that I think that the story was fun and I love the name vicious btw (because of cowboy bebop.... dang vicious was my fave character and he was kindof like sephy in a dimented sort of way) and I
also loved how everyone confused him with vincent at first.
I think you should do more with him as a character...like some fill in mini stories maybe?
good job
ps: just a thought... (jus' some constructive criticism) ... maybe if you do more stories in the future you could break up the paragraghs just a wee bit more. It makes it easier for the eye to follow as you are reading along. compared to the larger paragraph set up. I am certainly no professional though. But I love reading other people work!!
*thumbs up*
Aside from that I think that the story was fun and I love the name vicious btw (because of cowboy bebop.... dang vicious was my fave character
also loved how everyone confused him with vincent at first.
I think you should do more with him as a character...like some fill in mini stories maybe?
good job
ps: just a thought... (jus' some constructive criticism) ... maybe if you do more stories in the future you could break up the paragraghs just a wee bit more. It makes it easier for the eye to follow as you are reading along. compared to the larger paragraph set up. I am certainly no professional though. But I love reading other people work!!
*thumbs up*
schedule
March 29, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Uh... Yeah..
Good story idea.
But honestly, it's not my style. (Style as in using ** for actions.)
Plus, I found it quite hard to read since the speech hasn't been put on separate lines, same goes for thoughts.
I love the story, from what I actually managed to read, but the formatting needs a little work. Good job though.
Good story idea.
But honestly, it's not my style. (Style as in using ** for actions.)
Plus, I found it quite hard to read since the speech hasn't been put on separate lines, same goes for thoughts.
I love the story, from what I actually managed to read, but the formatting needs a little work. Good job though.