schedule
January 28, 2019 at 12:00 AM
This might not be a proper review,but will this continue,it has potential.
Pokégirl555
schedule
March 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Title: Do you mean "Despair"?
Summary: This sounds like an interesting idea, and I like cross-overs when they're well done
Plot: I assume you intend more than just this initial chapter? Otherwise there's really not a story here
Characterization: You've got Squall pretty OOC for no explained reason; he doesn't think about his life situation in the ways you have him thinking about it. I don't know that I buy the Aeris as a booming voice thing either.
Writing: You seem to have good ideas for what you want to say, but you need to practice how you go about it. Practice including detail, and showing us what you mean rather than telling us.
Overall, not a very impressive post, but I think it has potential if you really put some serious effort into it. Good luck!
Summary: This sounds like an interesting idea, and I like cross-overs when they're well done
Plot: I assume you intend more than just this initial chapter? Otherwise there's really not a story here
Characterization: You've got Squall pretty OOC for no explained reason; he doesn't think about his life situation in the ways you have him thinking about it. I don't know that I buy the Aeris as a booming voice thing either.
Writing: You seem to have good ideas for what you want to say, but you need to practice how you go about it. Practice including detail, and showing us what you mean rather than telling us.
Overall, not a very impressive post, but I think it has potential if you really put some serious effort into it. Good luck!