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June 16, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I thought this was a great story, and I'd love to see a further chapter.
Also, a 'side--story' with Snow and Sazh tag-teaming Vanille sounds really hot. I'd also like to see you make Vanille more of a whorish character. I tend not to be bothered by OOC actions, that's why its 'fan fiction'.
Also, a 'side--story' with Snow and Sazh tag-teaming Vanille sounds really hot. I'd also like to see you make Vanille more of a whorish character. I tend not to be bothered by OOC actions, that's why its 'fan fiction'.
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May 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Nice seeing you continue the story. Wish there was more FFXIII fics out there.
Anyway, like you said I too think Lightning came off a little too much on the submissive side. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she should be the stoic Cloud/Squall at all, but she should be, even if just a bit, a little manipulative(in a good sense). She is the comanding type and here she's just too fast to fall on the submissive role.
Loved your Fang though. The way she leads both Hope and Lightning to hotness certainly was the high point in both chapters. That and the faux plot twist at the end. I say faux because sometimes I forgot that erotica can have plot, and although it was just a little hook you got me fished.
Looking forward to what you come up with for a third. Maybe don't make it the same night to give a little breath for character development(yeah, porn I know but I think it would actually add to the sexy in this story) and a change of location.
Anyway, like you said I too think Lightning came off a little too much on the submissive side. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she should be the stoic Cloud/Squall at all, but she should be, even if just a bit, a little manipulative(in a good sense). She is the comanding type and here she's just too fast to fall on the submissive role.
Loved your Fang though. The way she leads both Hope and Lightning to hotness certainly was the high point in both chapters. That and the faux plot twist at the end. I say faux because sometimes I forgot that erotica can have plot, and although it was just a little hook you got me fished.
Looking forward to what you come up with for a third. Maybe don't make it the same night to give a little breath for character development(yeah, porn I know but I think it would actually add to the sexy in this story) and a change of location.
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March 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Really liked the story. I wish you'd have dedicated a little more time with Fang teasing Hope. Maybe on future chapters?
Looking forward to part 2, and maybe a little vanille action since aside for one fic she's only in yuri.
Looking forward to part 2, and maybe a little vanille action since aside for one fic she's only in yuri.
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March 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This story is pretty damn impressive. Can't wait to see more.
You willing to take requests?
You willing to take requests?