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Final Fantasy VIII › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,461
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VIII › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,461
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Painful Memories
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy 8, or any of it's characters. I do not profit from this story.
Chapter 1
Painful memories
8 months earlier....
He was in the dark, desperately trying to get to the light. He had to protect Rinoa.....had to save her. A faint voice called to him, urging him to wake up. 'Wake up? Am I not awake already? Where is Rinoa? Why can't I find her?'
"Squall........., do you hear me?" The voice was becoming clearer and more familiar. He came out of the darkness, his eyes opening to a brightly lit room. The form above him was out of focus, but he could tell it was his father. "Son." Squall tried to answer, but could only manage a pitiful croak. His throat felt like he had swallowed glass and his body didn't feel much better.
"Dr. Kadowaki, he's awake." He faintly heard footsteps approaching and another blurry figure came into view. He blinked his eyes, trying to focus, while at the same time trying to ignore the intense pain racking his body.
"Squall, can you hear me?" He swallowed with some difficulty and managed to answer. His vision was finally clearing and he could now see both the concerned people above him. "Do you remember what happened, Squall?" Dr, Kadowaki asked.
"I.....I'm not sure. Where's Rinoa? I want to see her." Squall painfully turned his head, looking over at the beds next to his own. He caught sight of Irvine and Selphie, both in the same condition he was obviously in. He couldn't see Rinoa and he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Where is she?" Memories started to flood his mind. Squealing tires, bright headlights of another car barreling toward them. The crunch of metal and glass. A car accident.
"Squall....son...I'm sorry...she.."
"Where is she?! Please tell me she's alright! Tell me!" He tried to sit up and screamed in shocked pain, his vision blurring again. He nearly blacked out, but he fought it, needing to know the truth. "Tell me, dad. Tell me she's fine," he begged, his voice weak and pleading.
"I'm so sorry. She didn't make it."
He closed his eyes tightly in denial. 'She can't be dead, she just can't' He had seen the truth in his fathers eyes though and it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. "I should have died with her. Why didn't you let me?" Tears burned behind his closed eyes, threatening to spill down his face, but he held them back.
"Squall, don't talk like that. Rinoa wouldn't have.."
"Don't tell me what she wouldn't have wanted," he said, cutting off his father. "She would have wanted me with her and I would have gladly gone." He looked back at his fathers face, seeing the worry there. His vision was going blurry again, his body falling back into the blissful darkness. "Why didn't you let me go with her?" he asked softly as he fell back into unconsciousness.
~~~~~
Present time....
Squall sat behind his desk going over some reports, rubbing his temple to relieve his headache. It was so damn tedious, but a necessary job as Commander. Signing the last form, he threw his pen down and leaned back in his chair. He had just closed his eyes when the knock on the door interrupted his short rest.
"Come in." Irvine entered, looking frustrated and lost. He looked that way a lot recently now that he was a Knight. Irvine sat heavily on the couch with a deep sigh, looking at Squall with pleading eyes.
"She's driving me insane, Squall. I love the woman, but dammit, she's making me crazy." The woman in question was Selphie. Poor Selphie, who had the misfortune to take over Rinoa's powers as she died, having no other choice but to do so. Selphie had taken the power so Rinoa could go in peace, at least that's what she had told him. It only made Squall remember that fateful night when the drunk driver had crashed into them, taking Rinoa away forever.
Squall looked at Irvine, not knowing what he expected him to do about Selphie. It wasn't his concern. To the frustration of his friends he had gone back to his old lone wolf personality, keeping himself distant from everyone. If anything, he was colder now than he was before Rinoa had come into his life. He hadn't even allowed himself to cry since her death, keeping it inside, letting the pain of her passing fuel his anger.
The driver of the other car had killed himself as well that night. Even that made Squall angry, because he had wanted to kill the man himself. Since his recovery he had been determined to take every mission he could, the more dangerous, the better. He ran headlong into every battle praying for death, wanting only to be reunited with Rinoa in eternity. Lost in his thoughts, he ignored Irvine.
"Squall, hello....come on man."
"What the hell do you want me to do? he snapped. "I'm not her Knight, you are!" Irvine's hurt expression slowly turned angry. He stood and stalked to Squall's desk, slamming his fist on top of it.
"When the hell are you going to snap out of this?! You weren't the only one that lost her. She was a good friend to all of us. You're so caught up in your own anger that you don't see how much this is hurting Selphie! She's still having a hard time with this too. She had to watch Rinoa die, you son of a bitch!"
Squall stood, knocking his chair to the floor. His eyes burned with a fury that Irvine had never seen before. "Get out of my sight!" he said between clenched teeth.
"Is that an order, Commander?!" he asked mockingly, matching Squall's glare.
"Take it as you want, but do it. Now!" Irvine tipped his hat and strolled out of the office, slamming the door as he left. Squall stared after him, his cold glare unwavering.
~~~~~
Quistis walked nervously toward Squall's office, not looking forward to what Cid entrusted her to do. It only heightened when she passed Irvine in the hallway, an intense look of pure rage on his face.
"Be warned, Quisty. He's on the attack again today," he said and kept walking.
'Oh great, just what I needed to hear.' She took a deep breath and continued toward the office. Squall had become so cold since the loss of Rinoa. None of them had been able to get through to him, not even Laguna or Ellone. Cid had seen this as well, which is the reason why she was asked to pay him this visit. She looked at the paper in her hand and shook her head. She tried to calm herself and knocked on the door, bracing for the explosion that was sure to come.
"Come in," she heard him say, the annoyance in his voice evident. She stepped inside, making her expression neutral.
"Commander Leonhart," she said, giving him the customary salute and he returned it. She cleared her throat, stepping up to his desk and handing him the paper. He snatched it from her hand and she watched his face slowly go red with anger as he read it.
"Son of a bitch! What right does he have to do this?!"
"He has every right. You may be Commander, but Cid is still the Headmaster of this Garden," she answered, keeping her voice steady. Seething with anger, Squall read the paper again.
Squall Leonhart,
You are hereby ordered to take an indefinite leave from
Garden. You will go to Esthar and stay until I feel you are
ready to resume your duties as the SeeD Commander. Your
suicidal actions as of late have brought me to this decision.
You will leave immediately. Refusal to do so will result in
your termination from Balamb Garden.
Headmaster Cid
"That bastard! Is he in his office?" Squall asked, having every intention of confronting the Headmaster.
"You won't be allowed in. Don't try it, Squall." Her eyes were filled with sadness and he hated it.
"Don't look at me like that," he said, trying to keep his temper. "I don't need your pity, Quistis."
"Squall, please....just do this. You need to do something. We all miss the old you. We just want you back, want you to be happy again."
"How do you expect me to do that? How?!"
She looked at the man before her, still desperately in love with him. She wanted to help him so badly, to take away all his pain, but she didn't know how. He shook his head at her inability to answer his question.
"Looks like I have some packing to do," he sneered, leaving her alone in his office. Silent tears flowed down her cheeks as she cried for the man who couldn't cry himself.
Chapter 1
Painful memories
8 months earlier....
He was in the dark, desperately trying to get to the light. He had to protect Rinoa.....had to save her. A faint voice called to him, urging him to wake up. 'Wake up? Am I not awake already? Where is Rinoa? Why can't I find her?'
"Squall........., do you hear me?" The voice was becoming clearer and more familiar. He came out of the darkness, his eyes opening to a brightly lit room. The form above him was out of focus, but he could tell it was his father. "Son." Squall tried to answer, but could only manage a pitiful croak. His throat felt like he had swallowed glass and his body didn't feel much better.
"Dr. Kadowaki, he's awake." He faintly heard footsteps approaching and another blurry figure came into view. He blinked his eyes, trying to focus, while at the same time trying to ignore the intense pain racking his body.
"Squall, can you hear me?" He swallowed with some difficulty and managed to answer. His vision was finally clearing and he could now see both the concerned people above him. "Do you remember what happened, Squall?" Dr, Kadowaki asked.
"I.....I'm not sure. Where's Rinoa? I want to see her." Squall painfully turned his head, looking over at the beds next to his own. He caught sight of Irvine and Selphie, both in the same condition he was obviously in. He couldn't see Rinoa and he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Where is she?" Memories started to flood his mind. Squealing tires, bright headlights of another car barreling toward them. The crunch of metal and glass. A car accident.
"Squall....son...I'm sorry...she.."
"Where is she?! Please tell me she's alright! Tell me!" He tried to sit up and screamed in shocked pain, his vision blurring again. He nearly blacked out, but he fought it, needing to know the truth. "Tell me, dad. Tell me she's fine," he begged, his voice weak and pleading.
"I'm so sorry. She didn't make it."
He closed his eyes tightly in denial. 'She can't be dead, she just can't' He had seen the truth in his fathers eyes though and it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. "I should have died with her. Why didn't you let me?" Tears burned behind his closed eyes, threatening to spill down his face, but he held them back.
"Squall, don't talk like that. Rinoa wouldn't have.."
"Don't tell me what she wouldn't have wanted," he said, cutting off his father. "She would have wanted me with her and I would have gladly gone." He looked back at his fathers face, seeing the worry there. His vision was going blurry again, his body falling back into the blissful darkness. "Why didn't you let me go with her?" he asked softly as he fell back into unconsciousness.
~~~~~
Present time....
Squall sat behind his desk going over some reports, rubbing his temple to relieve his headache. It was so damn tedious, but a necessary job as Commander. Signing the last form, he threw his pen down and leaned back in his chair. He had just closed his eyes when the knock on the door interrupted his short rest.
"Come in." Irvine entered, looking frustrated and lost. He looked that way a lot recently now that he was a Knight. Irvine sat heavily on the couch with a deep sigh, looking at Squall with pleading eyes.
"She's driving me insane, Squall. I love the woman, but dammit, she's making me crazy." The woman in question was Selphie. Poor Selphie, who had the misfortune to take over Rinoa's powers as she died, having no other choice but to do so. Selphie had taken the power so Rinoa could go in peace, at least that's what she had told him. It only made Squall remember that fateful night when the drunk driver had crashed into them, taking Rinoa away forever.
Squall looked at Irvine, not knowing what he expected him to do about Selphie. It wasn't his concern. To the frustration of his friends he had gone back to his old lone wolf personality, keeping himself distant from everyone. If anything, he was colder now than he was before Rinoa had come into his life. He hadn't even allowed himself to cry since her death, keeping it inside, letting the pain of her passing fuel his anger.
The driver of the other car had killed himself as well that night. Even that made Squall angry, because he had wanted to kill the man himself. Since his recovery he had been determined to take every mission he could, the more dangerous, the better. He ran headlong into every battle praying for death, wanting only to be reunited with Rinoa in eternity. Lost in his thoughts, he ignored Irvine.
"Squall, hello....come on man."
"What the hell do you want me to do? he snapped. "I'm not her Knight, you are!" Irvine's hurt expression slowly turned angry. He stood and stalked to Squall's desk, slamming his fist on top of it.
"When the hell are you going to snap out of this?! You weren't the only one that lost her. She was a good friend to all of us. You're so caught up in your own anger that you don't see how much this is hurting Selphie! She's still having a hard time with this too. She had to watch Rinoa die, you son of a bitch!"
Squall stood, knocking his chair to the floor. His eyes burned with a fury that Irvine had never seen before. "Get out of my sight!" he said between clenched teeth.
"Is that an order, Commander?!" he asked mockingly, matching Squall's glare.
"Take it as you want, but do it. Now!" Irvine tipped his hat and strolled out of the office, slamming the door as he left. Squall stared after him, his cold glare unwavering.
~~~~~
Quistis walked nervously toward Squall's office, not looking forward to what Cid entrusted her to do. It only heightened when she passed Irvine in the hallway, an intense look of pure rage on his face.
"Be warned, Quisty. He's on the attack again today," he said and kept walking.
'Oh great, just what I needed to hear.' She took a deep breath and continued toward the office. Squall had become so cold since the loss of Rinoa. None of them had been able to get through to him, not even Laguna or Ellone. Cid had seen this as well, which is the reason why she was asked to pay him this visit. She looked at the paper in her hand and shook her head. She tried to calm herself and knocked on the door, bracing for the explosion that was sure to come.
"Come in," she heard him say, the annoyance in his voice evident. She stepped inside, making her expression neutral.
"Commander Leonhart," she said, giving him the customary salute and he returned it. She cleared her throat, stepping up to his desk and handing him the paper. He snatched it from her hand and she watched his face slowly go red with anger as he read it.
"Son of a bitch! What right does he have to do this?!"
"He has every right. You may be Commander, but Cid is still the Headmaster of this Garden," she answered, keeping her voice steady. Seething with anger, Squall read the paper again.
Squall Leonhart,
You are hereby ordered to take an indefinite leave from
Garden. You will go to Esthar and stay until I feel you are
ready to resume your duties as the SeeD Commander. Your
suicidal actions as of late have brought me to this decision.
You will leave immediately. Refusal to do so will result in
your termination from Balamb Garden.
Headmaster Cid
"That bastard! Is he in his office?" Squall asked, having every intention of confronting the Headmaster.
"You won't be allowed in. Don't try it, Squall." Her eyes were filled with sadness and he hated it.
"Don't look at me like that," he said, trying to keep his temper. "I don't need your pity, Quistis."
"Squall, please....just do this. You need to do something. We all miss the old you. We just want you back, want you to be happy again."
"How do you expect me to do that? How?!"
She looked at the man before her, still desperately in love with him. She wanted to help him so badly, to take away all his pain, but she didn't know how. He shook his head at her inability to answer his question.
"Looks like I have some packing to do," he sneered, leaving her alone in his office. Silent tears flowed down her cheeks as she cried for the man who couldn't cry himself.