The Measure of a Man

Title - The Measure of a Man
Fandom – FFVII
Characters – Yazoo, Kadaj, Loz, Tseng, Reno, Rude, Rufus (multiple pairings)
Warnings this chapter – yaoi, swearing
Disclaimer – Don’t own the boys, just playing with them
Note – Story begins immediately after Advent Children

Autors Note – Written for Chephren for her birthday. I gave myself the challenge of writing this in two weeks… and then it exploded into a multi chapter story… so I failed to finish it all in time. I will be continuing with it until it is completed though… just might take a while. Hope you like it anyway, baby! *hugs*


– Chapter 1 – Rebirth –


Yazoo woke up in his brother’s arms, Loz’s strong features pulled into a worried frown that quickly transformed into a relieved grin.

“Brother, you’re finally awake,” he whispered, tears glistening in his eyes as he brought up a hand to cup Yazoo’s face.

“Don’t cry, Loz,” Yazoo murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He was suddenly pulled against his oldest brother’s chest and he allowed it, knowing that it was the most efficient way of calming down the emotional young man. The movement made him aware that they were waist deep in water and as he glanced over Loz’s shoulder, Yazoo found they were in the ruins of an old building.

“Brother, where are we?” he asked softly, worry clear in his voice.

“At our rebirth,” another voice answered, causing Yazoo to pull back from Loz and look behind himself. Kadaj was sitting on the edge of the pool of water, his face fearful as their eyes locked together. “She’s gone, brother. Mother has… abandoned us,” he whined, tears falling down his cheeks. Yazoo’s heart hurt to see his little brother so distressed and he untangled himself from Loz, opening his arms and pulling the smallest of them into his embrace.

“We still have each other,” Yazoo whispered, his own voice breaking as he realized Kadaj was right. Mother was gone, her absence leaving a void inside of him and a soul deep loneliness.

“But why?” Loz sobbed from behind him. The middle brother reached out one arm, pulling the oldest towards them as all three clung together.

“Because we failed her. We… we are failures. Unworthy… useless…,” Kadaj began mumbling until Yazoo interrupted him.

“No, Kadaj. We are not unworthy… not useless. Sephiroth failed, not us,” he crooned, trying desperately to be strong in the face of the complete rejection from their only reason for living, their mother.

“But she left us! Now… now we have nothing and no-one!” Kadaj ranted, his voice rising in volume as his grief turned into anger. “We did everything for her! Everything she ever asked and this is our reward?” Pushing away from his brothers, the youngest stood up and began to pace back and fourth beside the pool of water as he continued. “You are right, Yazoo. We didn’t fail. We did all we were asked to do and it was Sephiroth who failed. Why should we pay for his failure?”

Kadaj stopped then, turning back to his siblings with an angry flick of his hair. “I hate her! She didn’t deserve our love, didn’t deserve our loyalty when she really only ever wanted him!”

Approaching voices brought the discussion to an abrupt halt, all three brothers turning towards the entrance of the ruined building. “Turks!” Kadaj hissed, recognizing one of the voices, his hand reaching for his sword only to find it gone. Yazoo and Loz also found their weapons missing but it didn’t concern the trio too much. They knew from previous experience that bare hands were more than enough against this foe.

Kadaj walked over to stand in an area clear of debris, confidently facing the direction of the voices. His brothers climbed out of the water and took their places beside him, silently waiting for the approaching enemy. Yazoo smiled, knowing that right now a fight would be the perfect remedy to their despair at mother’s abandonment.

***..***

“Reno, shut up,” Tseng ordered, glancing over at the redhead with a frown.

“But boss! Everyone else in the whole city is celebrating right now. We’re missing the party of the century and for what? To steal water? We deserve to cut lose as much as everyone else!” Reno continued to whine, completely ignoring the look of death the leader of the Turks directed at him.

“Reno,” Rude growled in warning, knowing that Tseng’s temper was running short as the recent events had pushed them all to their limits. He would have slapped the back of Reno’s head to emphasis his point if his hands weren’t occupied with carrying the two canisters for the so called ‘holy water’. Rufus wanted the liquid studied, to see if it could be replicated for other uses and it was doubtful that Cloud and his gang would allow them any, as their trust of the President’s intentions was still fragile, at best.

“What? It’s true, isn’t it? We fought too, nearly got ourselves killed helping out and this is what we get? More fucking work? Sucks to be a Turk tonight, partner,” Reno continued, oblivious to Tseng as the head Turk stopped walking, his spine stiff with anger. Rude flinched when the Wutain suddenly grabbed the redhead and threw him up against the outer wall of Aerith’s church, pressing up against Reno with pure venom in his gaze.

“Maybe you would like me to relieve you of your duties,” Tseng growled, fisting Reno’s shirt and nearly lifting him off the ground. The redhead gaped at his leader, his shock at the head Turk’s reaction clear on his face. Rude was glad he wasn’t the one having Tseng’s anger directed towards him… Tseng angry was scarier than he’d imagined.

“Sorry boss!” Reno quickly blurted, his words failing to calm the fuming Turk as the hand fisting his shirt let go only to move up and clasp his throat.

“We would all like to be relaxing and enjoying the moment but we are Turks and this is what we do. The quicker you shut the fuck up and let us get on with this, the quicker I can get home and finally get some sleep!” Tseng hissed, tightening his grip until a large hand squeezed his shoulder, making him flinch in pain.

“Tseng, we need him to help carry the canisters back to the van,” Rude’s deep voice murmured flatly. Rude knew that squeezing Tseng’s injured shoulder was a cheap shot, but he didn’t want things to get anymore out of hand. It seemed to work, the pain bringing the Wutain back to himself enough that he released the redhead, taking a step backwards as Reno coughed and directed hurt eyes towards him.

The two stood, staring at each other before Reno’s lips finally curved up into his trademark grin. “Boss, you really need to get laid,” he remarked, dodging Tseng’s fist and ducking inside the church entrance. Rude shook his head, sighing in frustration at his partner’s constant death wish.

“I would suggest a month of night shifts for him. That will hurt more than any beating ever could,” the dark Turk commented, watching as Tseng battled his aggravation back under control. He was worried about how much the last few weeks had affected the Wutain as usually, nothing Reno said would get more than a raised eyebrow from their stoic leader.

“Good suggestion,” the Wutain responded, closing his eyes momentarily and breathing in deeply. “Thank you, Rude.”

“Your shoulder still hasn’t begun to heal. You should take some of the holy water home and wash the wound with it,” Rude commented, walking past Tseng to enter the church.

***..***

Tseng watched Rude go, making a note to give him some extra days off in the future. He knew his frustration with being so incapacitated was adding to his instability and was willing to try nearly anything to rid his body of the constant reminder of his time with the remnants. The smallest brother had pierced his shoulder with his sword, the twin blades going clear through but still he’d somehow managed not to scream in pain. It was when the other brother, Yazoo had poured something into the wound, making his whole body contort in pain, that he’d finally screamed. The agony as the mystery substance flowed though his body, burning him from the inside out was something he would never forget. Since that day, he’d tried everything from potions to cure materia with no success. The skin around the injury was black and the wound seemed to be getting worse, every day. Tseng was still lost in thought as he entered the church, so much so that he nearly walked into Reno and looked up in surprise.

“We got company, boss,” the redhead remarked, making Tseng’s eyes dart up to discover the three remnants standing only meters away. No… not now…, the Wutain thought, taking a step back before he could stop himself. His eyes showed his fear for only a second before he managed to pull back up his walls.

“Well, if it isn’t our favourite Turk,” Kadaj teased. “Have you come to play with us again, Tseng?”

“Come to kick your ass, little fucker,” Reno responded, his grin feral as he turned on his EMR, swinging it up to point at the youngest of the remnants. “Want to find out what colour you freaks bleed.”

Kadaj scoffed, rolling his eyes at the redhead’s bravado. “As if scum like you could make us bleed,” he retorted, a chuckle following his words.

“Reno,” Rude whispered under his breath in warning, putting the canisters down and cracking his knuckles. Tseng knew both of his Turks were putting up a brave front as this was a fight they couldn’t win but what other option did they have but to try?

Ignoring Rude, Reno continued on regardless. Tseng figured that the redhead was trying to anger the fiery leader of the Remnants, hoping that maybe he’d make a mistake, leave an opening that could be exploited. It wasn’t much of a plan, but knowing Reno, he probably figured that if it failed, at least he’d get the satisfaction of pissing off the little brat before he died.

“Awe, you been crying, baby? What’s wrong? Smarting over the ass kicking Cloud gave you?” Reno teased.

“You have a big mouth, Turk,” Kadaj spat.

“Yeah, I do. But at least I have worth, just for being me. You three are just substitutes, vessels for the mighty Sephiroth. How pathetic to be an empty shell, waiting around for the general to take over and use you, however he likes,” Reno drawled. The redhead’s plan seemed to be working, as all three brothers where now glaring at him.

***..***

“You… how dare you!” Kadaj spluttered, dashing forward towards Reno. Yazoo watched his brother charge, his movements so slow that he found himself fearing for the smallest of them. Kadaj eyes widened suddenly, seemingly realizing that something was wrong, but it was too late. Reno’s EMR swung towards him, connecting with his face and sending him flying towards the floor, the crackling of the electric charge echoing in the church. Sudden silence filled the room, the Turks staring in shock at how easily Kadaj had gone down, all three glancing up just in time to see Loz running towards them, his face twisted in rage.

“Brother!” he yelled, charging towards Reno only to be stopped by Rude's fist, the punch sending him back onto his butt with a yelp of pain. Loz put a hand up to his lip, holding it out to find blood on his hand. The oldest remnants eyes clouded over in confusion as he glanced over towards Yazoo. “What has happened to us?” he whimpered.

Yazoo was shell shocked, fear filling him as he witnessed his brothers fall so easily. Burying his fear, he turned towards the Turks, determined to defend his family. “Turk scum!” he hissed, running towards their foes and managing to duck between Reno and Rude. He aimed for Tseng, knowing that if he could take down the leader, the other two would fall back to defend him. A part of him longed to duel with the Wutain, as he’d developed a fascination with him after having him as their prisoner. The head Turk had been so brave and had broken so beautifully with mothers help.

Pulling back his fist, he swung at the head Turk’s face, only to find air as Tseng dodged out of the way. Thrown off balance by his swing, he stumbled, falling forward and losing his footing. Arms grabbed hold of him, slamming him face first into the hard floor and a heavy weight fell against his back. Yazoo hissed at the sudden pain, his body protesting at the abuse.

“Well, isn’t this interesting?” a deep voice purred, warm breath ghosting over his ear and making him shiver. “Are you afraid, pretty one?” Yazoo bit his lip to hold back a whimper, remembering that those where the exact words he had whispered to the Turk, before he’d poured his own blood into the Wutain’s wound. Tears welled in his eyes as he realized that without mother and her powers, he was defenseless against Tseng and the man had every reason to make him suffer. He may still have his brothers, but with the rest of the world against them, how could they possibly survive? A sob escaped him without warning and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to control the sudden burst of emotions.

***..***

Yazoo’s sob stopped Tseng, making him pause as he considered what to do next. The Wutain wanted to hurt the brothers, especially Yazoo and the urge was hard to control, but this was not the time or the place for revenge. They could be discovered by others at any moment and he didn’t want to have to explain what they were doing in the church, stealing the so called ‘holy water’ to Cloud or any of his group.

“Reno, Rude. Cuff those two and put them out in the van. Reno, you stay out there, watch them and keep an eye out for any interruptions. Rude, come back and fill the canisters. We need to get out of here as soon as possible,” he ordered, sitting up so he was straddling Yazoo’s body, which was trembling beneath him. Grabbing both of the middle brother’s arms, he cuffed them behind his back before taking a moment to rub his shoulder which was aching from the short scuffle. He watched the other two Turks cuff Kadaj and Loz, Reno picking up the still unconscious youngest brother and carrying him outside. Loz walked ahead of Rude, putting up no resistance as he wept quietly.

Standing up, Tseng pulled Yazoo upright and wrapped an arm around his waist from behind, pulling their bodies flush. Leaning over his shoulder, he whispered in his ear, “I suggest you co-operate fully with us. Otherwise, I will have the perfect excuse to do some ‘playing’ of my own.” He felt Yazoo push back slightly against him and he flinched back, scowling at the back of the young man’s head. “Do that again and I’ll break your arm,” he hissed, holding Yazoo’s cuffs but keeping distance between their bodies.

Pushing the still silent remnant towards the entrance, he was relieved when his captive didn’t give him any trouble, head down and seemingly obedient. Rude came back in, just as they reached the doorway, his eyes full of concern as his gaze rested on Tseng. “Want me to take him out to the van?” the dark Turk asked.

“No, I’ll do it. You start filling up the canisters. I’ll send Reno back in to help you,” the Wutain replied, pushing Yazoo to get him moving again.

***..***

The drive back to Healin’ Lodge was long and silent. Even Reno, who usually never shut up, found the atmosphere too heavy for words, instead chain smoking the whole way. The closer they got to their destination, the more worried he became. The three brothers deserved to be punished for their actions but the young men in the back of the van already seemed broken and they still didn’t know how much of what they’d done was Jenova and how much was their true nature. Did someone under Jenova’s control even have any choice over their actions or were they simply puppets to her will?

Sighing, Reno propped his head on his hand, staring out the window into the darkness. Maybe I’ve just been spending to much time with Cloud’s group and all that heroic crap is rubbing off on me, Reno mused. A year ago, he wouldn’t have even had a second thought about the morals of what he was doing. Shaking his head, Reno lit up yet another smoke. Tseng had saved him, leading him to a better life and in return, he would follow the Wutain’s orders and ignore his conscious.

***..***

Rude sat in the back of the van, watching the three captives intently. Kadaj had woken up during the drive, looking up at him only to glare and bury his face in Yazoo’s chest. The middle remnant hadn’t even looked at his younger brother, his eyes locked onto the back of Tseng’s head as the Wutain drove the van. Rude had no idea what had passed between the two in the church but he could tell that Yazoo was frightened. Considering how effected Tseng had been since escaping the remnants torture, he had a bad feeling that the young man’s fears where all too justified.

The oldest brother sat next to him, tears still falling as he cried silently, staring at the floor of the van. Rude hated to admit it, but Loz did pull at his heart strings, although he made sure his face didn’t betray his feelings. With the aggression and arrogance stripped away, all that seemed to be left was despair and an odd kind of childish innocence that was disconcerting.

About half way through the journey, Loz seemed to have cried himself to sleep, his head falling onto Rude’s shoulder and his cuffed hands grasping onto the dark Turks arm. Rude ignored his closeness as he didn’t have the heart to move him away.

***..***

Tseng brought the van to a stop, relieved to see the Presidents car already parked in the garage. At least Elena and Rufus were already here and the final decision of how to proceed with the remnants would be taken off his hands. He had no idea what Rufus would decide but the more time he’d had to consider their options, the less he’d wanted to be responsible for it. He would, unfortunately, most likely be asked for a recommendation though. The need for revenge was ebbing inside of him, pure mental and physical exhaustion dousing the flames of his anger and leaving him worn out and numb. He’d used the silence of the drive to mull over the facts of the situation in his mind, disregarding the history he’d shared with the three brothers and making his final report based solely on the facts.

“Boss?” Reno’s voice called softly from the passenger seat of the van, making him turn towards him. The redhead was looking at him with an expression of concern mixed with fear and it disturbed the Wutain. Turks shouldn’t be afraid of each other.

“I wanted to say sorry for my over reaction outside of the church,” Tseng murmured, his eyes darting away from Reno’s face. Apologizing was not something the Wutain had much experience with.

“Hey, no drama. Been one crazy week so all’s good,” Reno replied casually, his smile genuine as Tseng’s eyes finally met his. “Eh, I was asking for it anyway. Sorry to pull your chain but I couldn’t resist the temptation. You’re just so damn cute when you’re angry.”

“Reno,” Tseng growled, his grin belying his harsh tone. “Don’t push your luck.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Reno chuckled, opening his door and climbing out, only to pause and poke his head back inside. “Want me and Rude to show the freaks to their rooms?”

“Leave the cuffs on and secure them as a level one threat until Rufus orders otherwise,” Tseng answered, getting out of the van and rubbing his shoulder automatically. “Don’t forget to bring up the canisters either.”

***..***

Reno nodded, watching with a frown as Tseng walked slowly up the front stairs. He couldn’t shake the feeling that his boss was far too close to breaking and he it worried him. He knew it was the Wutain that held them all together and without him, the Turks would surely fall apart.

A sudden bang from the inside the van jolted the redhead out of his musing and he hurried to the back doors, opening them to find an impatient looking Rude glaring out at him. Well, Reno imagined he was glaring… it was always so hard to tell with Rude and those shades of his.

“Hey kids, we’re home!” Reno happily announced, smiling broadly at the group before him. Suddenly, he noticed that Loz was leaning on Rude’s shoulder, fast asleep with his cuffed hands clinging to the Turks arm. “Well, look who’s gone and bonded on the way home. Such a cute couple.”

“Reno, I will kill you if you don’t shut up,” Rude grumbled, turning towards Loz and gently shaking him awake. “Time to move,” he murmured.

“Mother?” Loz whispered and Rude shook his head at the oldest brother before climbing out of the van. He held out his hand and gestured for the oldest to follow him, assisting him down onto the driveway.

“Boss says they’re still a level one threat,” Reno remarked, looking at Rude intently as he tried to figure out just what his partner was feeling. The dark Turk was being so gentle with Loz and it was… well, odd.

“Got it,” Rude replied, avoiding his partners eyes as he grasped Loz’s arm to direct him in the right direction.

***..***

The walk to the newly completed building which contained the holding cells was silent. Once they arrived at Loz’s cell, Rude opened the door and led the oldest to sit down on the bed, connecting his cuffs to a chain that was attached to the floor. It allowed enough movement for the remnant to be able to move around the cell freely, but still kept him about two feet from the door at its full length. Loz jangled the chain and looked up at him, sad eyes pleading for release.

“Sorry. Orders,” Rude muttered, stopping to watch as the oldest brother lay back on the bed and curled up, his tears beginning anew.

By the time he got back to the van, Reno had Yazoo standing next to it, ready for Rude. The middle brother was pale, his eyes blank and face expressionless. Rude took his arms and guided him to his cell, having to walk him over to the bed and put a hand on his shoulder to get him to sit down. Yazoo didn’t show any reaction at all when the chain was attached and Rude left the room without comment. Once the door was locked, he took a moment to stop, breathing in deeply as pity welled up in his mind for the brothers. Feelings such as those were not acceptable for a Turk and he blamed his weak emotional state on exhaustion as he returned outside. This time, he found Reno swearing with one arm wrapped around his waist.

“The little bitch kicked me!” the redhead whined, glaring into the back of the van.

Ignoring his partner, Rude reached into the back and lifted the canisters down, one at a time. Glancing back in, he saw Kadaj curled up against the far side, anger and fear clear on his face as tears fell from his wide eyes. It was the last straw for Rude, already past his limit, emotionally, for one day.

“Deal with it,” he growled, hefting up both canisters and making for the stairs without looking back for Reno’s reaction.

***..***

“Rude? Rude!” Reno called, staring after his partner as he was ignored. “Damn, fuck it all… why do I always get the difficult one?” he whined, continuing watching as Rude put down one of the canisters to open the door and go inside. He returned in moments, lifting the second before turning to look down at Reno.

“Don’t hurt him either,” he called before disappearing back inside, Reno not even getting the chance to respond.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Reno cursed, taking out a smoke and lighting it as he kicked at the dirt under his feet. “Nice, real nice partner. Just leave me to do all the fucked up jobs, as usual,” he muttered.

“I’m not a fucked up job,” a small voice hissed from the van, making Reno peer back inside at Kadaj who was still balled up in the far corner.

“Awe, come on kid. I didn’t mean nothing personal by it. I’ve just had a crappy day and I don’t want to get kicked again. Please, just come on out and I’ll take you to a room where you’ll be right next door to your bro’s, okay?” Reno crooned, trying to put on his best sympathetic voice.

“You’ve had a crappy day? My mother abandoned me! How can a stupid Turk ever know what that feels like?” Kadaj spat, his voice rising as his anger peaked, once more.

“Yo, this crappy Turk knows exactly how that feels. My mother abandoned me too. At least you still got ya brothers. I had nobody until Tseng found me,” Reno blurted before suddenly realizing what he’d said. Shit, fuck! Nice one numbnuts! Tell the enemy your personal history, why don’t you! Smacking a hand to his forehead, Reno sighed in frustration. Today had definitely been too long a day and the sooner it ended, the better.

“Look, I’m sorry you lost your mum. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass to you. Just… please, can’t you come on out so I can put you to bed and we can all get some sleep? You’ll be right next door to Loz and Yazoo…,” Reno began, his voice trailing off as his worn out brain tried to think up a more convincing argument.

***..***

Kadaj peered out at the redheaded Turk as he thought about what he’d said. It was the first time in his life anyone had ever apologized to him or said please and it threw him off his usual path of anger and threats. His body still refused to stop trembling and he had to admit, he was so tired that it was an effort just to keep his eyes open. Creeping forward slowly, Kadaj paused just out of reach of the Turk and studied him. “Are you going to hurt me with that stick again?”

“No, I’m not. Just gonna help you out of the van and walk you to your room,” Reno said gently, a small smile on his lips. Finally, the youngest brother shuffled forward and let the redhead help him out of the van, turning to stare up at him. Before that smile had angered him, making him want to hurt the Turk and wipe it away but now it had a completely different reaction. A strange feeling he didn’t know swept over him as he continued to gaze upwards and try to understand it.

***..***

Reno stopped, caught in the fiery brother’s gaze as he tried to work out what was going on in the mind of the unpredictable little one. The moonlight shone down, making Kadaj’s pale skin glow and emphasizing the dark bruise on his cheek. “Sorry about whacking you so hard,” Reno whispered, a finger tracing the damaged skin softly. “After you kicked my ass last time, I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to connect it.” Kadaj’s eyes widened at the touch and Reno suddenly realized that he was, once again, slipping. Tseng will tie my balls in a bow if he finds out about this, he thought, taking a step back and mentally shaking himself.

“Okay, enough chatting. Better get you inside,” he mumbled, pushing the doors of the van shut and placing a hand on Kadaj’s back to direct him to the cells. The youngest brother was silent until he was sitting on the bed, his chains connected and Reno heading for the door.

“Reno?” he softly called.

“Yeah, kid?” the redhead replied, turning in the doorway to look back.

“Will… will you come back and see me again?” Kadaj asked, those big eyes peering up at him again.

“Sure. Try and get some sleep and I’ll see you soon, okay?” Reno replied, giving the young man a last smile before closing the cell door. He took a moment in the hallway, leaning on the wall and pulling out another smoke as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, finally lighting it and chuckling to himself. “Defenseless my ass. Those eyes are paralyzing,” he muttered to the empty hall.

TBC