Just how it is

A/N: The fic is not canon, because here you have everyone alive and sane...somewhat... ah well, about the ranks: 3rd, 2nd Class - Lieutenant, 1st Class - Captain, Angeal, Genesis - Commander, Sephiroth - General. From lowest to highest obviously. Will consist of 2 chapters.
...

1st Class SOLDIER Zackary Fair strolled down the hall with a slight bounce in his step. Which was a completely normal occurrence for the energetic man. Such happened to be his nature: energetic, optimistic and friendly. If you asked anybody whether they had seen the young man frown or subdued they would tell you that meant something went wrong on a mission.

Anyway, Zack was on his way to the General's office to give report about his latest mission. He supposed to be away for a month, but thankfully everything went smoothly and his team arrived back a week earlier. He specifically asked Sephiroth's secretary not to tell anything to the silver-haired man, wanting to surprise him. Zack and Sephiroth had been together for almost a year now, and the young SOLDIER couldn't be happier.

Angeal was very supportive of their relationship, saying both of them deserved it. Especially since Sephiroth had never truly been WITH anyone - occasional one-night stands didn't count - and having someone to care about and love was a huge progress for the man's repressed emotions. Angeal thought of both of them as family and gave green light right away, warning his Puppy to be understanding and careful.

Genesis on the other hand, only smiled but said nothing. He neither approved nor discouraged their relationship. It felt somehow strange that Sephiroth's childhood friend appeared so calm, almost not caring, about what they did. Nonetheless, the red-head's smile was enough for Zack to think that the man was ok with the relationship.

Of course, the whole Shinra population knew and cheered for them. They said that if there had ever been a person to warm their General's heart, it would be Fair, the great SOLDIER loved by everyone and everything. One couldn't just NOT love the young raven-head. His optimism and cheerful disposition brightened their gloomy lives and he had a knack for befriending people within minutes. So, it was understandable that while many felt disappointed for missing their chance with the silver-haired beauty or even SOLDIER Fair - not that they had one to begin with - none held it against Zack. He simply was the right person for Sephiroth. Especially since unlike any of them he had never feared the man in the first place.

Right before reaching his beloved's office, Zack saw secretary almost running from his designated place, briefly giving him an apologetic smile. General's assistant learned long ago that if Fair wanted to see his lover, nothing would stop him. He'd just smile and slam the door open. Meeting or not.

Zack quirked a slender brow at the strange behavior, but shrugged it off. No one ever claimed that people in Shinra were normal. He put on a bright grin, eyes shining happily and went right through the white door. Only to freeze in place. Somehow the picture before his eyes felt wrong. Very wrong. First of all, his best friend, one Cloud Strife, wasn't supposed to be sprawled on a table. Naked. Second, since when was the blonde gay? For it surely seemed so, seeing as he had a cock up his ass. Third, why was the said cock attached to his lover? Were his eyes playing tricks on him? He blinked. No, it was definitely Sephiroth's cock half-way pushed into the smaller man and definitely the gorgeous body he knew so well hovering above his best friend.

Both men stopped their activity and turned to look at the intruder. Well, at least it was his first time seeing a shocked expression on his lover's face - if they were still lovers - silver eyes widening slightly. Cloud's flushed cheeks paled, going beyond their normal color. For a few long moments the trio just stared at each other, none of them moving.

Finally Zack's brain resumed working. He didn't know how to react to the sight, or the fact that his lover and best friend went at it behind his back. He trusted them with his life and heart. Had he been wrong? Had he done anything to deserve it? His SOLDIER training kicked in, mind still not ready to comprehend the situation. His slightly tanned face composed itself, blue eyes with violet tinge losing every emotion, resembling the killing machine he had been trained to be.

"General, sir, I came to report the success of the mission. You'll have my written report shortly. Good day, sir."

Zack turned on his heel and left, closing the door behind him. Now he understood the secretary's strange behavior: the man didn't want to be there when all hell broke loose. Strangely enough, he couldn't bring himself to make a scene right there. It felt like he watched himself from outside the body as he reported. He needed to come to his senses and figure out what to do next. Zack went to Sephiroth's apartment, to wait for the man and demand answers.

Fair moved in with the General four months into their relationship. Both thought it to be convenient, since they couldn't spend much time together due to missions coming one after another. The nineteen year old 1st Class spent more time facing off monsters than seeing his friends. Well, it's not as if he didn't like his work, on the contrary, it suited him with all the energy and the dream of being a hero he had. But sometimes he wanted to be more with the people he cared about.

For the time being, he would keep the problem with Sephiroth from Angeal. The Commander was like an elder brother to him, going in his overprotective mode when he thought Zack was in danger. Even though he could take care of himself, Fair still loved his mentor and would let him do as he pleased more often than not. Any other time he would have gone straight to Angeal and told him everything. But this situation was far more delicate. Sephiroth was his mentor's childhood friend, and Zack a student and practically adopted little brother. Things could turn out ugly if he didn't solve the problem himself.

So he sat in the apartment and waited. He had already packed his things in case the shit hit the fan. Not that he had much to pack. A duffel bag with spare clothes and toiletries. Hours passed when he finally heard a beep and the door slide open.

'Well, here it goes.'

All the words stuck in his throat when he saw Cloud following Sephiroth. Now THAT he wasn't counting for. Then again...did it really change anything? Nope. Not a damn thing. So, relaxing his tense muscles, Zack leaned back in the soft armchair, waiting for the two to sit on the couch opposite of him. He smiled slightly.

"So, Seph, care to explain what I walked in on today?"

The General's face was as unreadable as always. Young SOLDIER could only read his eyes: certainty took over the silver orbs. Smooth voice betrayed nothing either.

"I decided to introduce Strife into our relationship."

Zack fought very hard not to let his smile slip. It felt like he was battling a monster, it took so much effort.

"You decided huh? When were you going to ask me? Were you even planning to ask me?"

"I assure you, I would have asked your opinion upon your return from the mission."

"Uh-huh. And that gave you the right to screw Spike while I was away... how?"

"The knowledge of you being fond of Strife made me believe you would not be adverse to expanding our relationship."

"Really now? I got it that you're socially inept long ago. But I know you know there is a difference between being fond of someone in a friendly way or sexual. Hell, there are so many SOLDIERs and Turks that are hot so if we brought all of them into our relationship we'd have been having orgies long ago. Besides if my memory serves me right, when we got together first you asked me to be yours and no one else's. I asked the same of you and you agreed. What happened to that?"

Young SOLDIER noticed that Cloud wasn't comfortable with the conversation and squirmed a bit on the sofa. Sephiroth intertwined their fingers and gently rubbed the smaller palm. Inside of Zack's mind a voice screamed that the silver-haired man was his. It demanded to rip the joined hands apart, but the raven-head suppressed the violent urge and kept on smiling. A carefree part of him assumed that he would even die smiling. Such was his nature. Plus, he wasn't used to showing when he hurt.

"You are still mine and I am still yours. I simply had a feeling our relationship lacked something."

"Still mine..." Zack sighed. He wanted so much just to pounce the man and kiss those pale lips, but he couldn't. This whole mess simply went against his morals. "You know that if I trust a person I put my whole heart into it. I trusted you more than anyone. Why couldn't you do the same and wait until I get back? And you, Spike. I believe Seph hadn't pulled his rank on you?"

The blonde shook his head, still anxious.

"No, Zack. Sephiroth approached me and I agreed."

"I see. What were YOU thinking then, as my best friend?"

"Well...I...you are usually so kind and affectionate with me and I...I love you, s-so I thought you wouldn't be against it."

At this point Zack didn't know what and how to say anymore. It felt to him that both men on the sofa tried to make it seem like he was an overreacting idiot.

"You thought not long enough then. Both of you. Or maybe you thought too much. You should have just waited and ASKED!"

"Zackary, why are you making such a scene out of it? Just accept it and let us finish this pointless conversation."

Young 1st Class locked his eyes with the General trying to read the man. Perhaps he should have known that he wouldn't find anything there only irritation. That proved to be more than he could take in one sitting. The smile abruptly slid off his face, eyes shining with such a bright mako-induced blue, that it almost hurt to look directly at them. Cloud shrank further into the couch, having never seen his friend so angry. Zack always smiled. Always. No matter the circumstances. Had they read him wrong? Why was he so angry?

"Pointless? Have either of you ever thought of my opinion? My feelings? Apparently not! You want to go after a young unscarred body and blonde hair? Fine! You want to have a threesome relationship? Ok!"

Cloud perked up and corners of Sephiroth's pale lips tilted up a bit. Zack only gave them a pained smile, standing up.

"Yeah, threesome it is. But without me."

"Zackary? What are you talking about?"

"You're a genius, aren't you supposed to catch on faster than others? I'm breaking up with you. I don't need a man who can bring other men into our bed on a whim. Who knows who'll be next you bring with you? I don't need a man I can't trust. Also I don't need a friend who I can't trust and who thinks with his dick. I won't tell the reasons of the break up to Angeal. I don't want to have him worried and going on a rampage, cutting heads off."

Inwardly Fair cried like there was no tomorrow. He didn't know whether he wanted to maim both men for betrayal or weep.

"General, I will leave you and Cadet Strife alone now. Have a good evening, sir."

With a salute, Zack picked up his duffel bag from behind the armchair and left the apartment, leaving two stunned man alone.

...

The next day was full of tension. Angeal wasn't happy in the least, especially since his Puppy refused to tell him why he and Sephiroth broke up. And there he had high hopes that the two of them would last. He could clearly see how the General became more open and social after getting together with Zack. The young SOLDIER for his part had been so happy all the time that it made his heart swell with pride. Even more than it already did for his Puppy. So what could possibly stand between two men in love to make them brake it off only hours after the younger one returned from the mission?

Angeal Hewley sighed and turned to look at Genesis Rhapsodos. They were currently in the red-head's apartment brainstorming. Digging up the reasons of a break up was truly a task worth of two Commanders. Yeah, right.

"He refuses to tell me. Maybe I should go ask Seph?"

Genesis snorted.

"If Puppy doesn't want you to know, he'd ask Seph not to tell too. He may be naïve and carefree, but he's not stupid."

The dark haired male only hung his head.

"I know. But they were so close and happy that I have a feeling it's not just a simple break up. Besides if Pup gets attached to someone you have to kill him to severe that bond. And you should have seen his face yesterday! He looked like he went through a war."

That morning when Angeal came with the news of Zack and Sephiroth going each their way, Genesis had to use every ounce of his prided control not to shout and do a victory dance. He had been pinning after the younger SOLDIER for years, ever since he laid his almost translucent green eyes on the energetic beauty. He followed the teen's development, how he jumped from being a talented cadet to a 3rd Class, and then flying through the ranks with his exceptional skills without any effort, finally getting his 1st Class belt over a year ago. If Zack decided to put his mind to it, he would be on par with Genesis and Angeal in a real fight, wiping the floor with the other 1st Class SOLDIERs.

Shinra was lucky that such a skillful and talented young man decided to enter its army, thus adding one more person to the top three. And the boy was only nineteen for crying out loud! So many lower ranked loved him that it would not be a problem to make him one of the Commanders in the near future. The pay was good too.

Anyway, the cute boy turned into a gorgeous young man and just when Genesis was about to approach him, Sephiroth, the almighty hero, forestalled him. He had cursed his friend for weeks after that. But seeing Zack so happy and literally glowing made him calm down and just accept the reality. Now though he had a chance again. The red-head was pretty sure it was Sephiroth who fucked up, for Zack had always been too loving and loyal to hurt someone he cared deeply about. There was also a high possibility of them reuniting since Zack was too kind and forgiving.

That meant he had to somehow get closer to the Puppy without pressuring him too much. Granted they were close friends, but the factors against him couldn't be ignored. First, the lost trust into relationships on Zack's side. Second, Sephiroth who would probably try to win the young man back. Third, Angeal - from now on the man would protect his student even more fiercely and would certainly be against Genesis trying to lay his grabby hands on the teen. Fourth, Genesis' reputation. Despite being an incredibly strong Commander he had a reputation of a player. He had never settled down with anyone even for short periods, turning to occasional shags. Well, he couldn't be blamed for that, could he? He hadn't been interested in anyone besides the man he wanted.

Angeal would definitely disapprove of him and Zack would probably - most certainly - doubt the sincerity of his intentions. But he was Genesis fucking Rhapsodos - when had difficulties ever stopped him? The red-head grinned to himself. The teen would be his, no matter the cost. And he would prove it to Angeal that he could be trusted with the teen's heart.

...

Zack sighed. It hadn't been even 24 hours and everyone in Shinra already knew of the break up. How? He hadn't said a word about it to anyone except Angeal. Who had probably told to Genesis. But he trusted both of them not to spread the news of it all over the place. Perhaps Sephiroth explained it to his secretary or Cloud blabbed something to one of the fellow cadets. Being subjected to the pitying stares from every direction sucked.

He almost had to fight against Angeal in order to make the man let it go and stop asking all the 'why's. He was sure that the dark-haired Commander would go to Sephiroth and try to torture the answers out of the man, but if the General wanted for their friendship to remain, he'd keep his mouth shut. Besides, it was in the silver-haired man's best interest to be silent about it, since it hadn't been Zack who screwed up.

Fair sat outside the main building, enjoying the warm sun and pondering on his feelings. Betrayal hurt more than any monster's attack. He put his heart into Sephiroth's hands, and the man just had to go and crush it. Being a sensitive and emotional person, Zack always got attached fast and hard, so when his trust wasn't returned it hurt him more than an average person. And honestly, he gave his life to Shinra. So was it too much to ask for to have someone he didn't have to share with anybody? At least intimately. He heard a person approaching him and inwardly sighed. He could guess by the sound and timing who decided to have a 'chat' with him.

"What do you want?"

"Um...I wanted to ask how are you?"

"I'm fine. You can go now."

"But Zack...we miss you! Sephiroth is worried. Please think about it!"

The 1st Class turned to look at the blonde. It was obvious that the younger man was nervous and to be honest, looked miserable.

"He wasn't for the weeks I've been gone, so he doesn't have a reason to start now. I have already told both of you: I do not want such a relationship. Besides you lost my trust. You're free to have your happily ever after."

Now Cloud positively looked distressed.

"But we want to be with you! We love you!"

"Here you go again with this crap. I don't want to be with you. You are once again ignoring what I want. How can both of you be so selfish? You can't force a person into something they don't want. It just doesn't work that way. I can't have an intimate relationship with you. I don't love you like that. Never have. If you're not satisfied with one man, then find someone else. I don't want any part in it. Tell that to your man too."

"B-But..."

It seemed to be the time to use his rank, otherwise he would never be left alone.

"Cadet Strife, I believe you have classes to attend."

"Zack!..."

"It's 'Captain Fair' or 'Sir' to you. Dismissed, Strife."

"Yes...sir."

Zack sighed again. Would they ever leave it be? It just showed once again that they hadn't taken his opinion into consideration at all. A moment later he plastered back a smile on his face. He had duties calling for him. Like hell he would trust them again.

Genesis watched the Puppy enter the building from the shadows. He heard loud and clear - Gaia bless mako enchantments! - what the two were talking about and now was pretty much sure why the two broke up. The only question remained: how had Cloud Strife came into the picture. He also felt relieved that Zack had no plans on returning back to Sephiroth. Damn, but the blonde was persistent. He guessed it wasn't the last time Cloud or Sephiroth would try to convince Zack. Like he would let that happen. And he'd beat the crap out of anyone who stood in his way. Well, perhaps not Sephiroth. The man was nigh impossible to win against in a fight. It definitely would hurt to try too for the silver-head had no qualms about cutting off a limb or two, but that wouldn't stop him. Or he could quote 'Loveless' to the General until the man decided to retreat. Not many had the tolerance to put up with his favorite book.

...

The second morning after the separation found Zack in the General's office, getting instructions for his next mission. Apparently Lazard had too much on his plate to debrief the SOLDIER himself. It was also a morning when Zack tried hard not to leap over the table and rip Sephiroth's pants off. Whenever the urge threatened to take over, he always brought forward a picture of his ex-lover fucking his ex-best friend on that same table, which, by the way, served as a surface for them having office sex many times too. Well, that surely killed every fantasy he had. Suddenly he snapped back to the reality at the General's words.

"Wait, let me get this straight. I am to go to Kalm to check Mythril Mine for monsters. Alone?"

The silver-haired man gave no indication of being annoyed.

"Yes. After the last mission to the mine the team had eradicated them. The presence of monsters there is not confirmed. This is your task. Should you find any, report it and we will send a back up team."

"Yes, sir."

"Zackary."

Well, that smelled of a private conversation. Not one he wished to have now.

"What?"

"Have you thought about it?"

It really hurt him when Sephiroth had that tender look in his eyes. He loved the man so much, but sharing him with someone wasn't an option. Not for him.

"Yes and I'm still against it."

As the General came closer, Zack could feel his determination vanishing, his heart melting. Only when he caught sight of the table did he remember why he wasn't together with this man.

"Don't you love me?"

Right now that kind of manipulation only angered him.

"Yes I do. That's why I don't want to share you." He took a few steps back. "Excuse me, sir, but the mine is waiting."

...

Zack cursed on the way to Angeal's apartment. 'Rumors' his ass. The mine swarmed with monsters and before he had the chance of requesting a team, he found himself in the middle of a battle. Whenever he slew one of them, two took its place. He'd been swinging his sword - a smaller version of Buster Sword, Angeal's gift for his 18th birthday - for hours before he managed to get out of there, making the task for the later arrived team easier. He would also thank Gaia for the existence of Healing Materia and mako for the rest of his life. He might be energetic and sturdy, but he had only one life. Perhaps Hojo could change that, but he'd cut his arm off first before willingly confronting the man. Who knew what kind of crazy experiments the creepy doctor performed while no one was watching?

Finally he stumbled into the apartment, fully intent on having a shower and sleeping until his eyes hurt from being closed. The report could wait.

"Hello, Puppy."

Suddenly there was too much red leather enveloping him in a hug. He smiled. The man had always been all touchy-feely around him.

"Hey, Gen. What brings you here?"

"What? I can't just come for a visit?"

"Of course you can. Just asking."

The man let go of him and let his eyes travel down his body in search of wounds.

"How did it go in Kalm?"

Zack snorted.

"I'll tell you something: never take rumors lightly. There was a whole damn nest in the mine. Made me think for a minute that Sephiroth sent me there just to get rid of me. It felt like they duplicate within seconds. And the back up team consisting of infantrymen with barely enough experience? Not much help."

"Poor Puppy. At least you are alive and well. Go and shower then, I'll wait here. There is something I want to talk to you about."

Young SOLDIER lifted a curious brow, but then smiled and went to wash off the grime and blood.