Kiss Me Thru the Phone

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings of Final Fantasy VII. They are the sole creative property of SquareEnix. I do however own my insanity and perversity. Nor do I make a profit from this endeavor, I will however gain carpal tunnel syndrome eventually.

Title: Kiss Me Thru the Phone

Warnings: AU-ish, OCC-ness, Yaoi, lemons, smut, language, and crude humor. Abuse of cellular communications =D

Rating: M for sMutty!

Pairings: Tseng/Vincent

Summary: Vincent decides it's finally time to catch up with modern man and go hi-tech, though he still can't see the purpose of a cell phone and it's accessories. Two-Shot

Note: sentences that are bookended with ~ are to be read as texts.

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Kiss Me Thru the Phone

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kiss me thru tha phone

(I see u lata on)

kiss me thru tha phone

(I see u when I get home)

~Soulja Boy

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"I still do not see the point on getting this, Tseng. It's more than I need." Vincent complained for nearly fifteen minutes straight. Tseng for all of his patience was close to snapping at his beloved for his childish behavior.

"Trust me on this Vincent. You will thank me soon enough for getting you that phone. Trust me."

Vincent's carmine stare bore into dark mahogany for several seconds before backing down. Tseng was the only other living being that could do that to the demon host and he used that ability to the fullest each and every time.

"I do trust you I just do not understand the necessity of a cellular phone," Vincent's baritone resonated in the kitchen of their apartment. Tseng was lying in wait for him this morning with the boxes and bags from Midgar Mobile Communications. Tseng happily ignored him as he set about setting up the older male's voicemail box as well as several contacts, each with their own separate ringtones.

"It is a necessity," Tseng finally replied as he handed the smart phone over to Vincent for inspection. "Granted the new touch screen models are better but I don't think with your gauntlet it would be a prudent purchase."

"None of these purchases are prudent," Vincent cut in. Tseng shushed the man the best way he knew how; he kissed the gunner ever so thoroughly as he got up from the table. Making sure Vincent was in a happy kiss induced daze, the Wutain called back over his shoulder for his lover to play with the phone and all of its features.

"What am I? Twelve?" Vincent called out irritably as he poked at the fragile plastic and rubber pieces of the flip phone; complete with a qwerty keyboard. Chaos' inner voice was mocking him by repeating one of the numerous commercials he had seen about the phone.

"No, darling, you are not twelve," Tseng smirked at the older man. "You're almost what? Sixty?" Vincent huffed at the reminder of his extremely slow aging process. "You do realize that our neighbor, Old Lady McCordy is the one that suggested that phone for you. She has that very same model."

"She's… ninety-two!"

"Exactly," the Director smiled as if Vincent just made his point for him. "What's your excuse?" Without waiting for a response, Tseng grabbed his two cell phones off the counter as well as his travel mug of coffee before heading out the door to work. His voice carried from the front hall and Vincent heard a distinctive, "I'll sext you later!"

xXx

Almost three hours later, Vincent finally figured out how to send and receive calls as well as download a few games to play, Cranky Chocobos being the top choice of course. The gunner was quite proud of himself for figuring out most of it on his own and ignoring the owner's manual.

He was just about to sit down and have some tea when the phone began an incessant beeping. Cautiously picking up the phone he noticed that there was a small envelope on the front screen. Flipping the phone open, Vincent followed the on screen prompts to accept and read the message.

~hey babe miss u!~

Vincent's lips quirked a little bit. The message said it was from Tseng but they message was not what he would expect from the perfectionist. As the gunner stared at the screen another message came in, adding to the message screen.

~incase u haven't read the manual just hit reply & type back 2 me… abbrev r OK =)~

With an airy chuckle reverberating through his chest, Vincent hit reply and took his time typing a response back.

~So, this is what a text message looks like? What is the point of this?~

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Tseng leaned back in his chair and smirked when Vincent replied to his text message. He was by no means shocked that it took a few moments for the man to reply due to his slight limitation but in essence for a first timer, Vincent got the hang of texting right away. 'A full keyboard was a good choice', Tseng thought to himself.

Kicking his feet off of the conference room table, Tseng started tapping out his response to his lover's questions.

~well its a quicker way 2 talk & when we r out on missions this is a silent way for us 2 communicate & send pictures of where we r at incase of anything~

~I see.~

Tseng's smirked turned to a full on grin when the reply was almost immediate. Getting up from his seat, Tseng went to the entrance of the conference room and shut the door, taking time to lock it, he then moved on to the windows that faced a fairly busy hallway. Drawing the blinds the room was drenched in darkness, just the soft glow from Tseng's personal phone illuminated a small circle on the glass topped table.

Pulling out his work phone, Tseng quickly sent a message to his crew stating that he would be "out to lunch" for a little while and to not to disturb him. Smirking to himself, he shut off the ringer on the work phone and pushed it away from him on the table.

Tseng got up once again and removed his suit jacket, carefully draping over one of the empty chairs a few seats down from him. He loosened his tie and the first two buttons on his dress shirt before sitting down again. Picking up his cell phone, he twirled the piece of technology in his hand as he bit his lip as he thought about having a little fun with Vincent.

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~there r other things that r good bout txting~

Vincent arched a questioning brow at the random message he received from Tseng. Realizing that he was giving a look to a phone and not responding, the gunner scowled before picking the cell phone back up.

~Are you going to tell me or will I have to ask Old Lady McCordy?~

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"Cheeky bastard," Tseng muttered to himself. With a twitch of his lips and a shift of his body Tseng decided to initiate Vincent.

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~this is the best part of txting download the attachment & welcome to sexting =P~

Vincent was just getting comfortable with responding back to Tseng and increasing his response time but now that Wutain was adding more things too it. Silently scowling at the phone he noticed the small paperclip that appeared on the screen with a message asking if it was okay to accept the download. Vincent responded and immediately dropped the phone in shock. Recovering quickly he picked up the communicator and stared.

It was a picture of Tseng. Well; Vincent cocked his head to the side before realizing he could turn the phone itself, it was a picture focusing on a part of Tseng's anatomy. A large part of Tseng's anatomy that featured the Wutain's hand wrapped around it. Vincent's mouth went dry at the image.

~c how just thinking about u makes me hard~

Vincent's eyes widened as the next message came in. Where he had Tseng's message screen open, they were able to open and refresh without having to hit any further keys. "Small favors," his deep baritone snarled.

~baby… txt me… tell me what u want. u want my cock?~

Vincent blushed when he read the message. Tseng was never so direct, well not until he was near his release, even then it was not as wild and passionate as he always suspected the man to be capable of. Not to say that Vincent wasn't satisfied with their sex life, he was more than satisfied, he just felt that the younger man held back a bit. Maybe, maybe this sexting thing was a way for Tseng to open up a bit more.

Crinkling his nose at his psychological breakdown of bedroom talk, Vincent tapped what he hoped would be an acceptable response.

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~I always desire your cock, Tseng.~

If Tseng wasn't so wrapped up in jerking off he would have laughed at Vincent's response. Instead he was more interested in watching the five minute video he secretly filmed of Vincent masturbating in the shower that he filmed with his work phone only a week ago.

With a dismissive glance towards Vincent's response, Tseng grabbed his personal cell phone with his free hand and flipped through the applications until he got to the one he wanted. With the most diabolical grin ever plastered on his face, Tseng went to work on his newest mission.

Operation: Get Vincent Off

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Vincent frowned when there was no response after several minutes. He knew he had socially awkward moments but he was certain that this wasn't one of them. He set about sending another message to Tseng. This one would be a bit longer and with more detail than the previous one. He never got a chance to send it, the message was filed away into the drafts folder when another message from Tseng came in. This one like one of the ones before had a paper clip with the icon. Accepting the message download, Vincent frowned when a phone didn't appear.

Instead he heard the distinct sounds of Tseng moaning.

Then the phone was moved, jostling was heard as well as the Director's harsh breathing as the camera was shifted to focus on one thing and only one thing.

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Tseng grunted as his fist twisted clockwise on the upstroke over his cock. He let his thumb run over the top slit, his nail catching slightly causing him to hiss in reaction. On his down strokes over his throbbing member, the Wutain squeezed as hard as he could. He didn't bother suppressing the moans emanating from his throat. With only one hand he filmed himself furiously jacking off while thoughts of pumping himself into Vincent's welcoming body danced in his head.

"V… Vin… VINCENT!"

The Director shouted his release as his cum spurted over his fist. Squeezing and tugging a bit more, he milked the rest of his semen out of his quickly fading erection. He tried his best to catch his breath, he wanted to leave his lover with a quick message before he had to go back to work.

"Fuck," he husked, his breath still faltering slightly. "Mmm, that was good. Wish you were here with me baby," his disembodied voice was recorded.

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Vincent watched as Tseng's hands disappeared from the screen and a sucking sound could be heard. Vincent barely noticed that sometime during the clip, he moved from palming his crotch to having completely unbuckled his pants and had them along with his boxers caught around his ankles as he pumped himself along with Tseng.

When the clip ended and asked if it was ok to replay, Vincent didn't hesitate to say yes. He said yes until he came all over his stomach.

xXx

It was about twenty minutes after Tseng's impromptu session behind closed conference doors that his personal phone buzzed with a message.

~i c now y u insisted that i get a cell. thnx! i love you~

Tseng had a smug look on his face as he entered the man Turk office.

"What's with that look yo?" Reno asked when he saw Tseng coming in the door. The Director looked down at the phone, making sure his other messages were erased before handing the phone to his Second-in-Command.

"I've shown Vincent the finer points of texting and their usefulness," he replied calmly. Tseng was able to maintain eye contact with Reno, but the redhead's knowing look caused the Wutain to blush slightly.

"That's both fuckin hot and slightly disturbin at tha same time," Reno said in awe. "Wait! Didja fuckin wash ya hands?"

"Licked 'em clean," Tseng purred as he walked out of the Turk lounge area and towards his office.

'Now, to teach Vincent all about phone sex,' Tseng smirked as he started plotting the next phase of the gunner's education.

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A/N: Really? Someone needs to whack me in the head. I have like SO MANY stories that need to be updated but instead I get Tseng and Vincent all in my head demanding attention. Grr!

Read/Review/Fav and alert, please and thank you!

BTW… leave a review and tell me what YOU think Vincent's ringtones are?

Tseng, Turk Office, Cloud, Cid, Yuffie. =)

FYI (sharing means caring, yo!) my ringtones: One Winged Angeal for my job, Victory tone from FF7 game for unknown callers. Turks Theme for my close friends. Text messages? Either Gin Ichimaru (Bleach) saying 'Bye, bye!' or Byakuya Kuchiki (Bleach) saying 'Ban-Kai' (Japanese voices)