Through Pain And Tears Title: Through Pain And Tears
Pairing: ZellxSeifer
Rated: M
Warnings: Yaoi, sexual assualt, abuse, Rape, Conssnual, OOC
Disclaimer: I Don't own FInal Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix
Summary: Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned.
Word Count: 4, 018
Author's Notes: Well, here's something i came up with. Read and review.
XxxX
Chapter 1 Seifer sighed and walked into the training center. He was feeling down, which he has been feeling for quite some time now... so more often than not, he found himself in the training center. It had been a year since he's been back in Garden.
Ever since he came back, he just wasn't himself. He knew the others realized it, too; it was hard not to. He didn't associate much. The only one he really even talked to was Zell. Zell use to hate him, but they have grown closer. Zell—the only one Seifer opened up to, really. Well, maybe not completely, but a lot. Nobody knew how he really felt, though. He didn't want to drag others into his personal problems... especially Zell.
He continued just walking around the training center, thinking. He didn't really come here to fight anything; he came just to get out of his room a little bit. So, he comes here to think often. He has been like this ever since he returned. He mostly kept to himself.
He sat down in the secret area. People really didn't come to this part of the training center. They mostly just came for fighting. Which suited the blond just fine. He wanted to be alone anyway. Being here alone helped him think, though. He thought mostly about his life and what he was doing. He didn't know. Also, Zell would cross his mind an awful lot, too. And he knew exactly why that was. One of the main reasons he came back was because he missed Zell.
No one knew of his feelings for the shorter blond, which was just fine with him. He didn't really care. He knew nothing would come of his feelings. He knew they wouldn't be returned, so why bother saying anything at all? There was no point, Seifer knew.
What a messed up life he had.... pining away for a guy he use to tease and harass. Seifer frowned. He hated thinking so damn much. He knew Zell wouldn't like him that way.... plus, last he heard, he had a girlfriend, confirming his assumption. When he heard the news of Zell being taken, he was jealous and hurt. His girlfriend didn't like him, though. Not that he gave a shit if she liked him or not. But, it stung when he said he had a girlfriend. They always hung around each other, making the scarred blond even more jealous.
He sighed. He hated where his thought process was going. This is the kind of thinking he'd like to avoid. It just hurts to know that Zell is with someone else. And, besides, not like he had any other friends here anyway, aside from Zell....
He closed his eyes and let out a bitter chuckle. Fuck, he was pathetic. He hated how weak he'd become now. He shook his head. Not like it can be helped. He hated his life.
He got up and dusted himself off. Grabbing his trench coat, he walked out of the secret area. He just wanted to go to bed... to stop thinking for a while. As he was walking back, he spotted a couple of people watching his movements, making Seifer weary. He hated being stared at, being watched. He decided to ignore them in favor of getting to his room, so he just walked right past him, noticing a couple more men. Seifer was starting to get a bad feeling, though, because he knew that some people still hated him.. and he's been attacked more than once.
“Where do you think you're going, lapdog?” a snarky voice said, stopping him.
Seifer just looked at him and the others and just decided to ignore them.
“Hey, I'm talkin' to you,” the male said again, advancing him.
Seifer knew this wasn't going to go well. He knew where this was gonna lead. He didn't stand a chance with four men there. “And?” he decided to say.
“Huh, so the little lapdog has a mouth on him.”
Seifer rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I'm leaving.” He tried to walk off, but the man grabbed his arm.
“They shouldn't of let someone like you back in Garden, you know.” The guy glared at him, sneering.
“Yeah, you're not welcome here. Traitor!” snapped the other male. Seifer cringed at their words.
“You're nothing but a coward. They should've let you die instead of letting you back in,” the guy smirked, loving to cause pain to him. He twisted Seifer's arm a little, making Seifer wince.
“Why couldn't you have just stayed away? Nobody would care. Nobody wants a fuckin' traitor around.”
“Shut up,” Seifer said, glaring. He hissed when his arm was yanked. It was night so nobody was around.
“What was that?” the guy snarled, nodding his head at his friends. “We're gonna show you what we do to traitors, lapdog!” And before he knew it, he was being punched in the face, hard, knocking him down. “What do you say guys? Should we teach him a lesson. Make him suffer?”
They all nodded and Seifer's eyes grew wide. Seifer started fighting back, throwing a right hook and clocking him in the jaw. He kicked the other and then the other two grabbed him before he could do anything. “Fuck off!” he growled.
“You really shouldn't have done that.” The other guy smirked. He punched Seifer in the stomach and then again and then in the jaw. His eyes roamed over Seifer's body.
Seifer tried to fight, but it was in vain, as they had him, holding him down. “Let me go.”
“Hmm. Nope. I don't think we will.” They all dragged Seifer back in the training center area. “Like I said, we're gonna show you what we do with traitors.”
The gunblader struggled. “Fuck you!” That earned him a kick to his ribs, effectively shutting him up. Hyne, that hurt.
The guy smirked cruelly at him, making his way towards him. “I think it's fuck you.”
And then Seifer got extremely worried. He grabbed Seifer and kneed him in the stomach. The other two held him tight. And the other one helped him beat Seifer.
Seifer was coughing up blood by this point. He just wanted it to end. For them to stop. But they didn't look like they were going to any time soon. “L-let m-me g-go,” Seifer whimpered, feeling every bit of what they was doing. And considering it was more than one, it was worse. He was in so much pain. “Please...?”
“Aw, listen to that; he's begging us.” They all laughed at that.
Seifer's breathing was irregular nd his was clutching at his stomach, laying on the ground. “We're not done yet. We still have other things to do to you.”
Seifer didn't care at this point. He was so tired and beat. He spit up more blood. “Wh-hat?”
All he got was a smirk and cruel laughter. He started towards him. “This is less then you deserve you whore!” he spat and aimed a very hard kick to his side, making Seifer lightly scream out. He looked at his friends, who all nodded at him.
Seifer was dizzy and out of it. He never even noticed when his attacker took off his pants. Seifer opened his eyes and blinked, startled. He saw that the guy was removing his pants, and he got wide eyes. “Now, you see. You hurt others and now we're gonna hurt you.” With that, he grabbed the blond and started taking his pants off, Seifer trying his hardest to struggle. “Get over here and hold him.”
They did as they were told. Seifer was laying on his stomach now, the guy behind him. Seifer had no pants, and he could feel this guy's erection on his ass. It made him sick. His head was smacked on the floor, making him see stars. He gave up trying. He knew there was no way out of this. He accepted this.
He could feel the guy pressing into him and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth to the massive pain he felt. He let out a particularly loud scream when he shoved it in all the way. He heard them all laughing at him. He tried to block it out, but it didn't work. The guy on top of him was pounding into him without a care. He could feel blood coming out of him.
“Mm, you feel good. Nice and tight,” he moaned, loving the pain in caused the hurting man. “You guys are gonna love it.”
Seifer couldn't stop the tears that came out of his eyes. This was so much pain... it was unbearable. The guy orgasmsed inside him, pounding extra hard, riding it out. He sighed. “Okay, who's next?”
They all took turns with Seifer, each pounding was vicious. All four men had their turn. “We'll be seeing you around, lapdog.” They all laughed and walked out, Seifer sighing in relief. It was over now; that was all that mattered to Seifer. He tried to sit up, but whimpered pathetically when he tried, tears coming out of his eyes. He hurt so much. Did he deserve this?
“Zell,” He whimpered, wishing the blond was here. He had blood coming out of his mouth and his ass, and he started sobbing, not able to hold it in anymore. He knew he needed help, but there was no one around, and he really didn't want anyone seeing him like this, either. He closed his eyes, feeling tired.....
XxxX The gang was at the lunch table, enjoying their lunches. “Man, I sure hungry,” Zell grinned at stuffed hotdogs into his mouth. His girlfriend shook her head.
“Zell, honey, must you eat like that?” she asked, giving him a look.
“Yep,” he nodded with a smile.
“It's what he does,” Selphie added, grinning. She didn't really like Zell's girlfriend. She seemed bossy. But he seemed happy.
“Hn,” was Squall's agreement, sitting beside Irvine, who only nodded.
“Hey. Did you hear what happened to Seifer?” said a voice at the next table.
The whole gang froze, wondering what he was talking about. Zell even stopped in his eating at the mention of Seifer. “No, what?” the girl next to him asked, looking every bit the curious.
“He got attacked last night!”
The gangs jaw dropped.
“What?!”
“Yeah, by four guys, I heard.”
Squall's eyes narrowed. Seifer? Attacked? He and Seifer may not see eye to eye all the time, or get along too much, but they were still friends.
“WHAT?!” Zell exploded. Outraged. Everyone in the cafeteria jumped at this, but the short blond hardly cared. He faced the duo, looking serious. “Who did it?”
“W-we don't know. I just heard it,” he stuttered. “He's in the infirmary now, though.”
Zell nodded, still fuming. “Okay. I'm gonna go.”
“I'll go, too,” Marlene stated.
“No. I'll see you later.” And he was off.
“Aww, pour Seifey. Why would they do that to him?!” Selphie was pissed.
“I don't know,” Irvine said.
“I'm gonna figure out who did this.” And he would, too. Squall got up and decided to leave.
XxxX “Ugh,” Seifer moaned, body aching.
“Seifer?”
He blinked when he heard someone say his name.”Zell?” He almost whimpered when he moved.
“Yeah...” He looked down at the figure known as Seifer Almasy. He looked so beat and hurt. “Howya feeling?”
“Pain,” was his one worded answer.
“I kinda figured that,” the martial artist rolled his eyes. “So... who did this?”
“...I don't know...”
“Liar. Don't lie, Seifer. I know you know who did this to you,” Zell gave him a look.
Seifer snapped at him. “Why are you here?”
“Because we're friends. I'm worried about you,” he stated simply.
“Shouldn't you be with--”
“Zelly!” his girlfriend's voice called out to him, causing Seifer to scowl.
“You better go.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Zell looked hurt. But sighed.
“Yes.” Seifer didn't want him to go. He wanted Zell to stay here with him. But, he didn't want Zell to know how he feels and start avoiding him. He liked Zell's company.
“Seifer?”
“Squall?” He was surprised to see the brunet here. “What're you doing here?”
“I came to see if you were okay. I heard what happened. Who did it?” He asked that part coldly.
“I don't wanna talk about it right now,” he finally said. He was too embarrassed. What would they think of him after knowing what happened to him?
“Seifer--”
“Please?”
Squall knew he didn't wanna talk right now, so he let it go for now. “Fine. But we will talk later.”
The blond lying down nodded. “Sure.”
“Seifer--”
“Zell, are you coming?” she asked impatiently, as if she didn't want him near Seifer, which she didn't. Seifer glared.
“Yeah....” Zell gave Seifer a concerned look. “I'm sorry this happened. When I find out--”
“Zell, don't worry about it. It's over and done with.”
“But, how can you say that? Look what they did to you?” His voice was getting higher.
“I said it's fine.”
The smaller man opened his mouth, but closed it. How could he say that? He shook his head at him. “Alright,” he relented.... for now. Mostly cause Seifer was beat. “I'll see ya later.”
As soon as Zell was out of his room, he let some of his tears fall. He wanted him to stay—wanted to tell him who did this, but he couldn't. He didn't wanna bring anyone into his mess. He covered his face, trying to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape.
Zell...
XxxX A week later and Seifer was out, feeling much better than he had. The doctor knew exactly what happened to him, but he had asked her to not say anything to anyone. His problems were his own; he didn't want to drag other people into them.
“Hey, Seifer. How are you feeling?”
“I'm fine, Zell.” Seifer smiled at him, which quickly turned into a frown when he noticed who was with him.
She glared at him and huffed. “See? He's fine.”
Zell shook his head. “You didn't know that, Marlene.”
“Whatever. Can we go now?” She honestly didn't care whether he was or not.
The blond sighed. “Fine. Guess I'll see you later, Seifer.”
“Yeah,” was the soft whisper.
She glared as they left.
“What a bitch, huh?”
Seifer's head snapped over to Irvine. “W-what?”
“I said she's a bitch.” Irvine stated. Turning serious he asked, “how are you?”
“I'm good. Sore, but good.”
“Hm, that's good you're doing better. So, what were you and Zell talking about?”
“Nothin'. Just asking if I was fine.”: Though, if it wasn't for his bitch of a girlfriend, he might of said more.
“Oh, I see. She dragged him away, huh?”
Seifer nodded. “She hates me.” He sighed, looking at Irvine.
“You like him, don't you?” Irvine decided to be blunt. He had noticed Seifer staring at Zell a lot.
“S-say, w-what?” Seifer was shocked by his bluntness. “No!”
“Yes you do. I can see it.”
“What's it to you? He doesn't want me, so what does it matter?” the taller man growled. “I'm leaving.” He walked off, knowing that he just gave himself away. Not like it mattered anymore.
XxxX Seifer sat by himself in the cafeteria and ate his lunch. He was looking over at another table where Zell was, eating with his girlfriend. He sighed and tried to focus on something else, not wanting to think about Zell and her. The tall man gritted his teeth and just stabbed at his food. He didn't much feeling like eating; too many thoughts running through his mind lately. Mostly; about what had had happened to him, would happen to him again. And about Zell.
“Seifer?” a soft voice said, causing Seifer to blink. He never heard Squall sound like that before.
“Squall,” he greeted.
“How have you been?” he decided to ask, honestly curious.
“Better,” the taller man supplied as an answer.
He saw Leonhart nod. “Good. So, who did this to you? I need to know.”
“Don't worry about it, Squall. It's over and done with now.” Though he didn't really believe what he was saying.
“Look, I have to know. This can't happen,” the lithe boy said firmly. “That kind of behavior isn't allowed towards anyone residing in garden.”
Seifer knew he was right, but still refused to say anything. “I said it didn't matter.” He didn't mean to sound cold, but it was getting on his nerves. He just wanted it to be dropped and not mentioned again.
“Hn,” Squall scowled. Seifer was being stubborn. He knew the boy wouldn't openly tell him just like that. “Fine. How many were involved?” was his next query.
“Four,” Seifer decided to say. It didn't hurt to tell him that much.
Squall's eyes narrowed. Oh, he'd find out. He couldn't let something like this go by unpunished. Nobody deserved that shit, even Seifer. “What did they do to you?”
Seifer sighed, getting annoyed. He was sick of all this questioning. And, he really didn't wanna bring it up. What they did to him.... Seifer shrugged. “The usual. Just beat the shit out of me and said I didn't belong here and I should be dead.” He left the other part out. He wanted to be left alone right now. He looked back at Zell, noticing the hyper boy was giving him glances as well.
“I see,” Squall said, coldly.
“Hey, Squall.”
“Irvine,” he nodded.
“Well, I'm gonna go.” Seifer was starting to feel uncomfortable. He got up and walked off without looking back.
“Hm, that was strange,” Irvine said, cocking his head to the side. “Any luck?”
“No,” he frowned, thinking.
“Ah. Well, you know Seifer, he don't like opening up to anyone.”
Squall agreed with a nod, knowing Irvine was right.
XxxX “Zell? Where are you headed?”
“Oh.... Marlene... I was just gonna go to the training center,” Zell answered, pointing in that direction.
“Oh... Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my room tonight?” she asked with a smile.
Zell paused to think about it. He really wanted to get some training in. Ever since he'd started dating her, he hadn't been going to the training center much, opting instead to spend time with his girlfriend, who he'd been dating for several months. “Well, that sounds good, but I really just wanted to get some training in.”
She scowled a little. “Fine,” she sighed. “Go get your training in.”
“Okay!” He placed a light kiss on her cheek. “I'll catch ya later.” The blond waved and then was off, her watching him as he went.
Zell turned back and noticed her gaze on him. He watched her wave and walk off. He sighed. He continued his trek towards the training center, sighing as he did so. Zell didn't know how he put up with his girlfriend sometimes; he figured it was because he loved her and all. She always seemed to want to keep him to herself. Not that he had a problem with that per-say, but he did have friends, and he'd like to be able to hang out with them.
But he had realized that she would always be there, or tag along with him when he went somewhere. He wanted his space, but didn't wanna hurt her feelings by telling her so. Seriously, ever since he's started dating her, he was seeing less and less of his friends than he use to. Yeah, he understood that couples needed their time, but come on, you have to have time apart, too. With her, he did kind of feel constricted.
He sighed, shaking his head from his thoughts. He had arrived at the training center, having almost past it because of his inner monologue. Hyne, he was becoming like Squall. That though made him chuckle.
He opened the doors to the training center and walked inside. As he walked further inside, he saw his first monster and went at it. A little further into the training center, he heard footsteps. Curious, Zell proceeded to check it out and see who it was.
“Zell?”
That voice shocked him. “S-Seifer? What are you doing here?”
“That was my question.” He eyed the shorter blond. “I never see you in here this late.”
“Oh... well, I decided I needed to work out a little,” he shrugged. He paused, thinking. “How do you know?”
“Uh, well,” Seifer started, clearing his throat. “I usually come here when it's passed hours.”
Needless to say. Zell was stunned. “Why only then?”
All he got was a shrug. “I don't know.”
“Hm. Well, since we're both here, wanna spar?” the shorter man grinned.
Seifer loved Zell's smiles. He looked so damn good. “Sure.” And they did.
Zell noticed that Seifer was slacking in their friendly spar, which was so unlike the Seifer he knew. Seifer usually gave it his all. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.” Seifer waved away his concern.
He didn't look fine, Zell noted. He saw Seifer sweating and panting hard, and was instantly concerned. “I think we should stop now.”
“Why? Think I can't handle it?” Seifer was irritated. He could fucking handle it.
“No... no.. it's just...you look tired.... and worn out,” he observed.
“I'm fine, Dincht. Don't worry about me,” Seifer shook his head, feeling a little light headed.
“You keep saying that. I can see you need help, though.” He saw Seifer's eye flash.
“No. I don't need anything,” the bigger blond stated. “Look, I said I'm fine.” He was happy that Zell seemed to care, though.
“Seifer---” He looked sadly at Seifer.
“I don't want you pity,” Seifer sneered, crossing his arms.
“It's not pity, dammit. I'm just... worried about you, man,” the tattooed man admitted.
“Whatever. I said I'm fine.”
“Look, Seifer. You can talk to me... I know we never were really the best of friends, but we are friends now.” Zell placed a comforting hand on Seifer's shoulder, causing the latter to freeze.
“Yeah. But I'm fine,” he said again, loving the touch. “I'm gonna head out. I'll see you later.” With that, he stalked off, not waiting for Zell to reply.
“Seifer! Wait!” But he didn't listen.
Seifer wonder the halls back to his room when he heard a voice sneer from behind him.
“Hello, lapdog. I'm surprised to see you out here.”
Seifer swallowed hard, hoping they would just go away. “What's the matter? Not gonna talk to me?” he laughed.
“W-what do you want?” Seifer finally asked, backing up.
“Hm. Nothing. I see you're doing better, though.” His eyes roved over Seifer's body, remembering the last time. He walked closer, making Seifer back up into a wall. “What?”
“L-leave me alone,” Seifer said, feeling panic.
“Nope. Don't think I will,” the guy grinned evilly. “You don't belong here. I will make you see that.”
The blond flinched when a hand touched his face. “All the pain you put lots of people through, I will make you feel that.”
Seifer was punched in the gut. He gasped, holding his stomach. He involuntarily let out a whimper. “S-stop.” He cried out when his arm was twisted. 'Zell..' was the only thought that played in his mind. He wanted Zell.
He yanked Seifer away from the wall, punching him square in the jaw. Then, as Seifer was on the ground, bleeding, most likely a broken jaw, the guy pulled out a knife. Seifer's eyes went wide and he tried to get up, but to no avail. The guy kicked him hard in the ribs. He laughed and lowered himself onto Seifer, knife in hand. “Now, hold still.” Without warning, he jabbed the knife into his side.
Seifer gasped. Again, deeper, the knife went into him. He screamed out in agony. Tears were coming out of his eyes. He heard laughter, then his world went black.
XxxX
Author's Note: Okay, I was just doodling with m writing and everything, and I came up with this. I don't know if it's any good, but here it is. Please Review and let me know what you think.
