Fatality I: Teasing
folder
Final Fantasy VIII › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
911
Reviews:
31
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VIII › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
911
Reviews:
31
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Interlude 2: Squall's Thoughts
Irvine never should have said it first. If he’d been thinking more clearly, he would have waited until I’d fully come to terms with myself and admitted my feelings for him. But he didn’t and I ended up being put on the spot. He should have known not to be so bold, but if he weren’t like that, he wouldn’t be himself I guess. I mean, what was I supposed to do – say, “oh, I care about you too Irvine”, kiss him, and expect everything to be fine? I don’t think so…life doesn’t work out like that although I know he’d like it to.
It goes without saying that I’m being ignored. He hasn’t even looked at me when we pass each other in the hallway. Quistis and Selphie have both told me that he seems really down, but it’s not my job to see what’s wrong, especially when I know very well what his problem is.
For some reason, he’s mad at me for saying things as I see them. I don’t need this right now – hell, I don’t need it ever. Yes, my heart admits that it cares about him, but my head says feelings can’t be trusted. All they do is make people do crazy things and leave everyone hurting in the end. That’s not something I want to feel…but what if I’ve scared him off completely? What if he leaves Garden because of me? Shit, maybe I should apologize.
Why am I so confused right now? It should be simple enough to just let myself stop thinking about this and work on getting through the pile of reports on my desk, but I can’t do that. His words won’t get out of my head, nor will that look on his face when I told him to get out. Irvine looked hurt, as if I’d dealt him the worst blow ever. But I’m sure he’s been rejected before by others that don’t want to go for someone well known for looking around at everyone else.
I’m not going to Laguna on this one; I’ll sort it out myself although it’ll take time. Time that it appears I have plenty of with Irvine not talking to or looking at me. When I figure out this mess of things inside my head, I’ll find that crazy cowboy and explain everything.
Hyne, what part of me do I trust when it comes to making one of the biggest decisions ever? Do I do as I have for the past 18 years of my life and listen to the cold voice of logic in my head telling me that pushing him away was the better choice, or do I do something completely out of character and apologize, leading myself to an uncertain fate with Irvine?
I’m confused and a little scared – two feelings I’m not used to having, much less at the same time. Maybe this fear is enough of an answer…no; it would be an answer if there were only one thing I feared. I’m scared of losing him, but I’m also scared that if I do give him a chance, the other SeeDs will quit respecting me and I’ll have to step down although I never wanted this position in the first place.
Maybe I need something drastic to happen so I can just make up my mind one way or the other. Until then, or until I stop being indecisive, I’ll just stay as I have been, not talking to Irvine because he’d want an apology and I’ve done nothing wrong; have I?
It goes without saying that I’m being ignored. He hasn’t even looked at me when we pass each other in the hallway. Quistis and Selphie have both told me that he seems really down, but it’s not my job to see what’s wrong, especially when I know very well what his problem is.
For some reason, he’s mad at me for saying things as I see them. I don’t need this right now – hell, I don’t need it ever. Yes, my heart admits that it cares about him, but my head says feelings can’t be trusted. All they do is make people do crazy things and leave everyone hurting in the end. That’s not something I want to feel…but what if I’ve scared him off completely? What if he leaves Garden because of me? Shit, maybe I should apologize.
Why am I so confused right now? It should be simple enough to just let myself stop thinking about this and work on getting through the pile of reports on my desk, but I can’t do that. His words won’t get out of my head, nor will that look on his face when I told him to get out. Irvine looked hurt, as if I’d dealt him the worst blow ever. But I’m sure he’s been rejected before by others that don’t want to go for someone well known for looking around at everyone else.
I’m not going to Laguna on this one; I’ll sort it out myself although it’ll take time. Time that it appears I have plenty of with Irvine not talking to or looking at me. When I figure out this mess of things inside my head, I’ll find that crazy cowboy and explain everything.
Hyne, what part of me do I trust when it comes to making one of the biggest decisions ever? Do I do as I have for the past 18 years of my life and listen to the cold voice of logic in my head telling me that pushing him away was the better choice, or do I do something completely out of character and apologize, leading myself to an uncertain fate with Irvine?
I’m confused and a little scared – two feelings I’m not used to having, much less at the same time. Maybe this fear is enough of an answer…no; it would be an answer if there were only one thing I feared. I’m scared of losing him, but I’m also scared that if I do give him a chance, the other SeeDs will quit respecting me and I’ll have to step down although I never wanted this position in the first place.
Maybe I need something drastic to happen so I can just make up my mind one way or the other. Until then, or until I stop being indecisive, I’ll just stay as I have been, not talking to Irvine because he’d want an apology and I’ve done nothing wrong; have I?