Hurt

Disclaimer: the characters and places contained herein do not belong to me and I make no claim or money from this. I can’t even claim responsibility for most of the idea because it came from both Race Ulfson and the song “Hurt” covered by Johnny Cash.

Find me at http://www.livejournal.com/users/dark_squall or http://www.livejournal.com/users/musemadness

With many thanks to Pixie, Acid Rain and Astraea.

This fanfiction is dedicated in its entirety to Race Ulfson, also known as the beta babe who usually previews all my stuff and tells me where I’ve fucked up.




Hurt.
For Race.





And we laugh and we drink
and we find it hard not to think
Ocean Colour Scene – So low

“Excellent chef, unparalleled bed partner and you don’t mind chauffeuring me around town…” Seifer grinned at him from the passenger seat. He almost looked as though he were lying beside Squall instead of sitting, the seat pushed so far back he practically sprawled in it, his long legs stretched out to be comfortable. “Maybe I should marry you now, before you come to your senses.

“Whatever, Almasy,” Squall pushed back the urge to smile.

“Park it around back. I don’t like leaving by the front door after closing.”

Nodding, Squall pulled into the car park behind the bar. The car jerked as it crossed the gravel covered empty lot and drew to a halt in a space near the back door and Squall tried not to notice Seifer pulling a Beretta 9mm from beneath his seat and tucked it into the back of his jeans. His shoulder complained as though reminding him that, for the moment at least, he was forced to rely on Seifer to help him fight. He had no weapons, and his arm would probably give out on him if he were forced into hand to hand combat.

“Ready, Cinderella?” the blond asked, breaking Squall from his brief reverie.

“I can’t be Cinderella. Unless you’re the pumpkin, you’re certainly no prince.”

“That hurts, Squall. I mean, that really hurts,” Seifer pressed a hand to his heart, pouting dramatically as he watched the brunet. Squall unfastened his seatbelt and half turned to look at him slowly, his eyes glittering in the fading late afternoon light. Yes. Being around people was a Very Good Idea, as if he stayed around Squall in private a moment longer he was going to tear him out of those sexy leather pants and hear his name screamed in pleasure again.

“Maybe my fairy godfather,” the younger man chuckled softly, leaning close to Seifer slowly. Resting a hand on the brake, he paused only when they were but a few inches apart, his breath hot against Seifer’s skin.

Seifer winced. “Brutal.”

Still leisurely, Squall pressed his lips to Seifer’s. The elder man’s skin was warm and rough against his own as he moulded his mouth to Seifer’s, feeling that tender, shy little blossom of affection inside him swelling at the touch. He tasted so good, so perfectly wonderful that Squall found it dizzying, intoxicating… He wanted to do it over and over, press Seifer back into the seat and straddle him while he devoured his mouth with kisses. “Better get going, prince…” Squall husked, his mouth never moving from Seifer’s. “You’ll be late for your own ball.”

Seifer cupped his lover’s cheek, stroking his thumb over the full flesh of Squall’s lips, kiss-bruised and so very tempting. He permitted himself one final kiss, one brief taste of Squall’s lips before he gave him a boyish, unguarded smile and reached for the door handle. “Come on then, I want you to meet some of the guys.”

Studying Seifer’s profile for just a moment, the silhouette that had enchanted him for years on end, Squall allowed himself a smile. Things would be fine eventually. He’d be with Seifer some day and Seifer wouldn’t leave again. He believed that as much as he believed in anything, if not more. Pulling away, he stepped out of the car, slamming the door carefully behind him.

He did not, to his pride and probably Squall’s relief, touch Squall as they entered the bar. However, his body language as he escorted the brunet inside made it obvious to anyone who looked just who Squall belonged to, and just who would kick ass if they touched him.

The manager, a former Galbadian solider with the tattoos and scars to match, waved him over to help the throng of customers waiting at the bar. Brushing his fingers against the back of Squall’s hand, offering him a brief smile, Seifer slipped off to help his boss.

“Little busy tonight,” he called over the orders, setting the gun underneath the bar and uncapping a couple of bottles of beer for the closest patron and taking the Gil.

“Baz called in sick, and one of the newbies up an’ quit so I had ta call you in.”

Seifer shrugged, keeping one eye on Squall as he tried his best to clear the backlog of customers as quickly as possible. “Meh, it’s no problem,” he said, tossing a few Gil in the tip jar on the counter and reaching for a pint glass.

A tall red headed girl approached Squall as he watched. The brunet had been propping up a wall only moments before but he actually smiled at something… Savannah. That was her name. Squall was smiling at something Savannah had said. His lover didn’t even glance at her more than ample cleavage; barely inches below his nose, so he felt somewhat safe as they found a table and both took out packs of triple triad cards. Soon they were sharing a pack of cigarettes and playing a game, and Squall seemed to be talking with this person he’d only met a minute ago.

He’d never seen the attraction in the game until that moment. He’d have to get Squall to teach him some day, when they were over the urge to fuck every five minutes. Squall seemed to like it anyway. Relieved to see Squall mingling so easily, Seifer smiled. He’d changed. And it seemed to be for the better.

The brunet glanced up to catch Seifer looking and returned the smile, tipping his head gently to make his still too dark hair tumble into his eyes. He needed feeding up, and a few hours in the sun, but he was perfectly beautiful. And completely his.

With that thought firmly in his mind, he set about serving the crowd at the bar, quite satisfied that he would have Squall to take home that evening.

It was busy enough that Seifer didn’t notice the time passing, serving and smiling, chatting with the regulars when he had the time. Of course he’d kept an eye on his little pet, making sure that he didn’t sneak off without looking and as the bar began to quieten down, he took a little more time to consider the quiet brunet.

There was something comforting about the scene Squall presented. Curled in the corner of a booth, triple triad cards fanned between the fingers of one hand and a cigarette held carelessly between the fingers of the other, his eyes firmly on the cards even as his red headed companion set down one of her own, he looked content. Normal. Despite the still dark hair and the pallor of his cheeks he looked so much better than he had only a few days before.

As he watched, distracted by serving another customer, Squall spoke softly with Savannah, laying down the cards in an easy, unhesitant fashion. He was brimming with confidence and had been all evening, playing for money and winning every had that Seifer had witnessed and Hyne damn it if he didn’t win this latest one too…

Savannah leant over the table between them to speak into Squall’s ear as he collected his cards and shuffled them again. Whatever she said spurred the brunet into standing and slipping over to the bar, leaning against it and watching the older man as he finished wiping down the bar top.

“Hey squirt, having fun?” he asked, smiling at his lover. He couldn’t help the smile, too content and happy to even try to pretend otherwise.

Crooking one finger, the beginnings of a smile on his own lips, Squall beckoned Seifer down to him. “Come here,” he almost purred, the soft husk to his words irresistible.

With the smile still firmly in place but his gaze turned faintly questioning, Seifer did as he was asked, leaning close to Squall. “What is it?”

His answer was a kiss. Squall threaded his fingers into Seifer’s thick blonde hair, sliding his tongue into Seifer’s mouth as he coaxed him into responding. The deep, longing kiss made the older man melt like butter, the attention turning his bones to jelly so swiftly he had to rest his hands on the bar top to hold himself steady and before he realised what was happening he had already surrendered completely to his younger lover.

Only when his lungs burned with the need for air did Squall release him from the kiss. Squall’s cheeks were flushed, his lips bruised from the intensity of their touch, and Seifer himself felt more than a little dazed, having to shake himself briefly to regain control of his thoughts.

Savannah, pouting, slunk over to push a fifty Gil note into Squall’s hand.

“Real cute, Savannah,” he glared at the woman before turning his gaze to Squall. “I’m a bet now?”

“She didn’t believe you were taken.”

The fact that Squall had chosen such a public method to declare Seifer was indeed taken gave him more than a little thrill. His fingers covered one of Seifer’s hands on the bar top, the closest he’d permit to holding hands in public but still enough to turn Seifer’s knees to jelly and make him feel like a sap. He could still taste Squall on his lips, still feel Squall there… he wanted more. “think it’s plain enough now?” he asked, never turning his head away from Squall, his jade gaze locked on Squall’s eyes.

Lifting himself on his toes, Squall brushed his lips over Seifer’s and kissed him again, softly. “Well… I could fuck you on the bar top but let’s skip that,” he whispered, his eyes dark and wicked. Wicked enough to make Seifer wonder if there was supposed to be a ‘for now’ tacked onto the end of the brunet’s words.

“Since when have I refused you?” he stroked Squall’s cheek, grinning teasingly. The memory of having Squall inside him, the memory of enjoying it was suddenly very prevalent in his mind and if they’d been alone…

Squall smirked, lowering himself slowly and patting Seifer’s hand in a brief gesture that was meant to be comfort before turning to rest his elbows on the bar. “Later, baby.”

Unaware of the sappy smile that was now seated firmly on his lips, Seifer turned away to resume his work. “Ten more minutes and we can get going.”

With a noise of approval, Squall turned his attention to Savannah, still wearing her perfect model pout. “At least buy a girl a drink if you’re gonna clean her out. Where’d you find this sneaky little shark, Seif’?”

“He followed me home one night,” Seifer pushed a glass of whiskey across the bar, watching the woman finish the drink before returning the tumbler. He took the note that Squall offered in payment, the brunet watching him over his shoulder with dark, longing eyes. The more he looked into those eyes the more he wanted to kiss Squall again.

“Get one for yourself too, since the service is so good.”

Seifer laughed softly, reaching over the bar to ruffle Squall’s hair briefly, an action that made him scowl and toss his head to return his hair to that messy semblance of a style. “You can see why I kept him.”

“Aww, young love,” Savannah chuckled. The faint blush that stained Seifer’s cheeks at the word and the small smile that surfaced on Squall’s lips told her that her guess was true, that they really were in love. “Bring him by again, Seif’. I might talk him into teaching me a few tricks yet.”

Of course he would. He had absolutely no intention of letting Squall out of his sight until the younger man was back to his usual self. Whatever that was. “It would be my pleasure milady.”

“Whatever,” the brunet muttered, rolling his eyes and nodding his farewell to the red head. She giggled, turning on her heel and heading for the door, the sexy sway of her hips not lost on Seifer completely, however with someone much better so close to him, she seemed to fade in comparison. When she was gone, Squall turned to watch him again. “My first thought was blow you again, but I thought a kiss would prove it well enough for her.”

“Not that she wouldn’t have hung around for the blow job, mind you,” Seifer laughed, watching the last few customers filter out. He’d called last orders some time before, and if it hadn’t been for Squall being there, he wouldn’t have served the red headed regular. He wiped down the dark wood of the bar top one final time.

“I like it here,” Squall smiled, dodging the sweep of the towel as it skimmed past his elbows.

“I like having you here,” the blond said, beckoning Squall around the bar as he hung up the towel. As soon as Squall had rounded the bar, he pulled the smaller man into his arms, holding him tight and nuzzling against his neck. “It made me happy – watching you tonight.”

“…Why?”

“Just… knowing you’re near me. It feels normal. It makes me think that things really can be normal.”

Squall was silent for a moment, lost in thought before he sighed his surrender, wrapping his arms loosely around Seifer’s waist and squeezing him carefully. He felt so safe in Seifer’s arms that he really didn’t want to move again, he didn’t want to face up to his responsibilities just yet. Let the mission wait just a little more then he’d finish it, he swore. “Someday they will be. Whatever normal is.”

“Normal is…” the blond tipped Squall’s head up, kissing him gently, as soft and tender as he could. “You with me.”

The chuckle did not reach his lips, even if it did make his body shudder briefly in mirth. Kissing back, Squall reminded himself that in the days, weeks, months to come the self assured arrogance that the blond possessed in spades would no doubt annoy him to the point of seizing his gunblade and forcing Seifer outside to duel, but for the moment he enjoyed the confidence his lover possessed. “Whatever. I’m buying dinner, you need better card players.”

“That…,” Seifer grinned, smoothing Squall’s hair back and gazing into his eyes with no small amount of affection before he began to edge around the smaller man. “Is what you’re here for. Now I gotta lock up.”

Squall’s arms circled him again, forcing him close for one final kiss before he turned them both around on the spot, permitting Seifer to escape to the door.

Words failed Seifer for a moment as he headed for the door, one hand rising to touch his mouth to savour the kiss as the other fumbled for the keys to the bar in his pocket. “You ready for dinner?” he asked, relieved that he didn’t squeak as he turned a key in the lock, throwing the deadbolt home.

“I am getting kind of hungry,” the brunet murmured distractedly. He was too busy counting the thick roll of money he had won from the card players that had dared to challenge him that evening to devote his full attention to Seifer. While his physical condition and, arguably, his sanity, may have declined, he had kept his triple triad skills sharp and honed. The game had gotten him into and out of several tight spots, and he enjoyed the game too much to let it slip away from him.

“Anything you want in particular?”

“…Almasy a la mode?” Squall suggested, splitting a good number of the bills from the roll and, when Seifer’s attention was averted, stuffing them into the tip jar that sat on the bar.

Seifer turned to him, tipping his head in mild curiosity. “Aren’t you lactose intolerant?”

Pausing, almost frowning at the thought his brief attempt at a joke had failed, Squall shook his head in exasperation. Of course he so rarely tried to joke that it would always slip by unnoticed, and that was hardly inspiration to try more. “It was a joke. I’m allergic to shellfish – Quistis was lactose intolerant.”

“It was a joke. I know, Leonhart.”

Sneaking just a little something from behind the bar, Squall crossed the room to his lover, maintaining his innocent façade, even as he hid the small item behind his back. When he reached the tall blond, he wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled up at his lover. “Seifer, you’re a prick sometimes,” Squall stated as he pushed the ice cube beneath Seifer’s pants. Backing away swiftly, he turned tail and ran for the back door as Seifer yelped somewhat less than manfully.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Leonhart!” Seifer yelled, giving chase. He only paused long enough to lock the back door, catching up to Squall at his car when the brunet leant against it laughing softly.

Distantly, Seifer allowed himself to enjoy the fact that Squall was laughing, albeit at his expense. However, that did not prevent him from capturing the brunet and tickling him mercilessly until he yelped and squirmed to get away, his laughter coming in faster bursts. “I give!” he cried, breathless and pinned against the car with no room to escape.

The ice cube had already melted, leaving his jeans wet. With no reason to release Squall, he pressed against him, nibbling at his neck as though he were longing to devour the smaller man. “That was evil, Leonhart. I’m almost proud.”

“Take me home, Seifer,” squall whispered, his hands squeezing the somewhat damp denim that covered his lover’s ass.

Seifer held the door for Squall, allowing him to drive once more as he sprawled in the seat beside him, sliding his hand over Squall’s thigh, kissing his throat and his ear, whispering softly to him, promises of what he was planning to do later. They ate on the way, Seifer feeding Squall bites of horribly unhealthy junk food from a drive through, shuddering as the brunet licked his fingers clean.

Neither of them noticed the car following them. Too caught up in each other and too sure of the safety of their situation, they didn’t think to check.

Squall pulled into the parking space in front of Seifer’s apartment, the blond’s hands already exploring places that weren’t safe whilst driving. It had taken all of Squall’s concentration to even get that far and now the distraction of driving had been removed he simply melted like butter under Seifer’s hands, kissing back and offering himself completely to his lover.

“Inside, Almasy. Before I jump you here,” he shivered.

The minutes passed in a blur, Seifer hauling him out of the car and carrying him up to the apartment, his voice a hushed whisper of need and longing “I want to be inside you. Now.”

He’d wanted that almost since he’d come with Seifer’s fingers inside him that morning. It wasn’t the same, not having that thick, hot length forcing him open and taking his breath away left a little hollow longing within him that he needed to fulfil. His nails grazing along the back of Seifer’s neck and his lips distracted with sealing Seifer’s mouth with kisses, Squall nodded his assent. “No arguments here.”

“Tell me you love me,” the blond pleaded, an edge of desperation and urgency to his voice as he kicked the door shut without pausing to lock it before he carried his lover to the bedroom. His hands squeezed and caressed Squall carefully, supporting him and holding him while he explored his body with a fervent touch.

“I love you.”

The echo of the words in Squall’s soft, husky whisper only added fuel to the fire of his lust. Seifer set Squall on the bed, desperately pulling at his own clothes, almost ripping them in the urgency to remove them, to be able to feel Squall’s skin again. He ordered “undress for me.”

Sprawled on the bed, his cheeks flushed and his hair ruffled from the trip up the stairs in Seifer’s arms and the near accidents that that trip had provided, Squall looked perfect. He was meant to be like that, a beautiful distracting toy waiting to be taken and fucked. He stripped slowly, tossing his shirt aside and arching his body off the bed to slide the tight leathers down, peeling back the dark second skin to reveal pale limbs and a hard cock.

Leaning up on his elbows to watch Seifer undress as well, Squall spread his legs for Seifer.

The blond did not take his eyes off Squall for even a moment as he stripped as quickly as possible, kicking away his shoes and stepping out of his pants. He too was hard, his cock flush with blood and he stroked himself just once before crawling over his lover, their cocks grazing one another as he nuzzled at Squall’s cheek. “I want it fast, okay?”

Squall’s deep blue grey eyes strafed Seifer’s face briefly, lingering when their gazes locked and he smiled briefly. Fingers sliding back to thread into the loose golden strands of Seifer’s hair, Squall pulled his lover down into a hot, hard, demanding kiss, murmuring “fuck me” into his lover’s mouth.

He wanted to keep kissing Squall just like that. He wanted to taste him, fuck him, ride him, and make him scream with pleasure. He didn’t have the restraint to hold on a moment longer though, pulling away from the kiss and trailing more kisses down his torso. “Lube,” he growled, his fingertips grazing the bottle on the nightstand before they caught it.

Sitting back on his heels, he poured a little on Squall’s belly, watching the shudder that ran through his lover at the temperature of the lubricant with a smile. “Put your fingers inside you first. I want to watch.”

Sliding his fingers in the slippery substance, coating them thoroughly, Squall spread his legs wider still. One day he’d come with Seifer simply watching like this, he’d see Seifer’s face as he longed to touch him, to be the one making Squall cry out and beg. He rubbed two fingers over his opening, watching Seifer as he finally pushed them into his body, rocking them deeper with a moan of his lover’s name.

Seifer watched the movements of Squall’s fingers as though hypnotised. “I want to taste you, but I don’t want to wait anymore,” he groaned softly, sliding his hands beneath Squall to lift him up.

As soon as Squall’s fingers had slid free of his body, Seifer was pushing into his lover steadily and without cease. He gasped at the tight heat, collapsing over his lover and gathering him into his arms as he began to move inside him.

“I love you,” Squall gasped, wrapping his arms around Seifer, clinging to him tightly. Every thrust of Seifer’s cock tugged another whimper from his mouth, making him arch up, drive himself further onto the thick, hard length that made him feel so good.

“Everything, Squall,” the blond whispered, his mouth against Squall’s throat as he lifted the smaller man against him, rising to his knees and rocking into him harder, as hard as he could without hurting him too much. The brunet’s response was wordless, a soft whine of need and pleasure, his hands squeezing wherever they could find purchase. “I love you so much, tell me this is okay.”

Each hard thrust sent a shock wave of pleasure through Squall. He could barely form words, he could barely think of anything but how perfect Seifer felt. “Gods yes, Seifer. Fuck me!” he pleaded, his nails digging into the soft flesh of Seifer’s shoulders so suddenly that they left in their wake red crescents as witnesses.

Trapping Squall’s cock between them where his pale skin was slick with oil and sweat, Seifer ground against the smaller man. “I want to feel you come first,” he gasped, lifting his head to kiss Squall so hard and so possessive that the smaller man almost forgot to breathe for a moment.

Every sensation, every touch and feeling was so intense that Squall almost believed if he didn’t find his release soon he would break. He almost sobbed with his pleasure as Seifer’s voice caressed his ear, dizzyingly hot. The words barely made sense to him, Seifer groaning “You’re so tight and hot… so good…” as he pounded into Squall’s body, hard, violent and erratic.

Then, with his forehead pressed to Seifer’s shoulder and a brief whimper of warning before he cried Seifer’s name aloud, Squall came. Five whole seconds did not pass before Seifer echoed Squall’s cry of release, his own much deeper and louder, but just as lost and mindless with pleasure

When he finally regained control of his thoughts, Seifer bowed his head to nuzzle at Squall’s cheek gently. “Squall…”

He gained no response the first time, Squall lying beneath him with his eyes half closed and his breath coming in short gasps.

“You’re like a fucking drug,” the blond stated, regretting the words the instant they left his mouth. He’d just had to remind Squall of his cravings, of the drug that had controlled his life so completely for so long, hadn’t he? However, to his surprise, Squall didn’t scowl, or glare.

He did turn his head, pressing the softest of kisses to the corner of Seifer’s mouth and smiled. “You’re better.”

Holding Squall for a moment, simply revelling in the feel of the pale flesh against his own, the sensation he’d never been able to match either through memory or replacement, he sighed contentedly. “I love you,” he said, sliding out of Squall and tugging him up towards the pillows gently.

“Love you too. My prince,” Squall murmured. He was already half asleep by the time Seifer pulled the covers over him and curled up with him, holding him protectively just as he had so many years before. The simple fact Squall was almost asleep the instant his head hit the pillow, his fingers splayed on Seifer’s chest and a small smile curling his lips was the greatest comfort to the blond. Squall trusted him. Squall loved him.

And Seifer had never felt so content in his life.

He fell asleep with his nose buried in Squall’s soft, brown hair, one arm wrapped around his lover protectively. Almost as though he knew what was to come.