Wrong?

Auron kept sharp eyes on both a brunette and a blond as they made their way through the Macalania Woods. The brunette was clearly troubled but keeping it hidden well. The blond was having no such success. While he kept up with everyone else's quick pace, he made sure to stay at least a few yards behind them, not joining in the conversation, even when his other blond counterpart tried desperately to engage him. To the others it most likely seemed as if he were merely pouting, having a temper-tantrum because things didn't go his way. Auron couldn't blame them for this train of thought, mostly because he was doing exactly the same things he would do if he truly was having a fit. But Auron had lived with and cared for the brat for ten long years. And after each and every one of those painstaking years, he had finally managed to decipher all of the boy's complex emotions. Tidus wasn't pouting. Tidus was staying away from everyone because he felt they wanted him away.

Tidus' biggest worry in life was being in the way, being around people who didn't want him there. It was a form of abandonment syndrome brought on by everyone close to him seeming to leave when he was so young, though Auron couldn't help but suspect Jecht's failing attempts at parental affection (constantly calling a six year old a crybaby for instance) along with his mother continually ignoring him also played a part. He tried desperately to be attentive to anything others wanted in order to keep them from hating him, but likewise was quick to believe they hated him the second they got even mildly upset. If he felt someone didn't want him around, he'd pull away from them before they could leave, or abandon, him.

Auron had had that fact thrown in his face after the whole monster cat incident. He was lucky to have caught it then and fix any misunderstandings between the boy and himself. Though on several occasions Tidus had managed to convince himself Auron hated or was going to hate him, never again after that had Tidus questioned whether Auron 'wanted' him. That didn't, however, change how the brat felt about everyone else. Countless times during the blond's childhood the boy would spend days moping around the house, refusing to go play with his friends, saying they didn't want to play with him; until eventually his friends would show up at the door, asking why Tidus hadn't been out all week.

Auron had tried on numerous occasions to explain to the brat that just because someone got angry at him occasionally it didn't mean they hated him. The brat had just given him that sickly sweet fake smile he was so good at with a "Sure, Auron!" and then repeated the whole process a month later. Auron wanted to break him of this rather unhealthy habit, but all of his efforts proved to be futile. Then the boy had come home unusually early one day, saying his friends had wanted to play blitzball but couldn't stop arguing because the teams were uneven, and they couldn't come up with a fair compromise. So he'd left to make the teams even.

Auron was going to commend him on his surprising maturity with the whole situation, until the boy clarified. He left because he was in the way. Any praise had immediately died. Only Tidus could take a situation where there were eight other boys involved and twist it so that when there was one too many, hewas the one that threw the number off. None of the others, just him. Auron actually found himself hoping someone had said something... but no. Tidus had reached that conclusion all on his own and then proceeded to wander around the house looking like a kicked puppy. Auron had been so desperate to get that look off his face he'd taken the brat out for ice cream. He may not have been able to stop the way the boy thought, but the least he could do was some damage control. He tried not to think about how it seemed the boy was getting worse.

Then everything had come to a head not long after. Old friends of Tidus' mother had a habit of randomly stopping by to check and see whether the boy was still alive and well. Auron had a feeling this had more to do with seeing whether or not the sizable inheritance Tidus' parents had left him was up for grabs, not that he'd ever let those vultures get near it. During one such occasion, as Auron grudgingly made the woman tea, nine-year-old Tidus sat on the couch stroking the monster cat and half watching TV, half listening to the adults' conversation. Auron never remembered clearly what was said because he'd been doing all he could to block the stupid woman out, but he knew it was something along the lines of 'Oh, Auron, you really are amazing for taking care of a child that's not yours. What a burden it must put on you.' He didn't remember his reply either, he'd probably just grunted or something of the like, but only a few minutes later Tidus disappeared to his room.

It took nearly an hour before the woman finally left, and Auron couldn't be happier to see the back of her. He went to make dinner and then call Tidus to eat, but the boy didn't come. Thinking maybe he'd fallen asleep, Auron had gone to his room to get him... only he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere in the house.

Auron wasn't a stupid man, quite the opposite, so he realized right away what had happened. Tidus had heard that stupid woman and her incessant chatter. Tidus had heard her call him a burden. Tidus had then slipped out of the house when Auron wasn't looking. All in all, that meant the nine-year-old boy was out alone, wandering around Zanarkand at night, upset, and headed towards who knew what part of town. Auron damn near panicked.

His memory was a bit of a blur again from that point on due to his distress. He had never really panicked before, not the way he did that night, didn't know he could. He was always so calm and collected, even when he let his cool demeanor slip occasionally it was nothing like that. Only Tidus could make him that way.

It took him hours to find the boy, but in truth he knew he was lucky and it could have taken much longer. He'd spotted him huddled in the back of a disgusting alley in what was, of course, the worst part of probably the whole city, surrounded by bars, hookers, and drug addicts. Leave it to Tidus to find his way there of all places. /He sat behind a dumpster, knees pulled up to his chest, shivering in the cold night air. He looked so small and helpless... Auron wanted to grab him and hold on so he couldn't run off again./

Auron couldn't remember this part well either, but he remembered feeling a massive sense of relief sweep over him. He'd stormed over to the boy, yanked him to his feet and shook him, screaming at him for the first and last time ever. He couldn't remember what he said, but it was most likely something about how he'd already told the brat he wanted him and how he shouldn't listen to stupid women who didn't know what they were talking about. One thing Auron did remember clearly was Tidus' reply. /"I know you want me, Auron, but I don't wanna be a burden. I like you. I don't want to cause problems for you."/

And Auron honestly couldn't remember his response. He knew he wrapped the shivering boy up in his red coat and carried him home, scolding him the whole way, telling him over and over that he was never allowed to run off like that again, while the child clung to him but surprisingly never cried. By the time they'd reached the door the boy was falling asleep in his arms. He'd taken the brat into his own room and dropped him on one side of the large, double bed, taking his shoes off for him and doing the same himself before laying next to him. He'd had the not necessarily irrational fear that if he didn't stay with the brat, he'd be gone again in the morning. So he'd tucked them both under the blankets and shut his eyes. /Just as he was starting to doze he heard the soft voice float through the darkness. "Auron... were you scared because I left?"/

/Auron frowned at that and reached out in the surrounding black to where the voice had come from to ruffle blond locks. "Stupid brat. Of course."/

Nothing more was said before they both fell asleep, but when Auron woke the next morning he had found the boy, still wrapped up in his coat, nestled into his side, small arms wrapped tightly around him. He made no move to get up, just wrapped one large arm around the smaller body and waited nearly an hour until the boy had woken on his own.

Auron would blame himself for the way Tidus was currently acting, would say that he should have handled things better that night when the boy was still a child, except for one small thing. Tidus' behavior in that area had improved after that. Drastically. When people got mad at him he started to take it with a grain of salt, slowly beginning to understand that getting mad at and hating someone were not the same. He stopped blaming himself for things that couldn't possibly be his fault, and he never referred to himself as a burden again. His self-confidence grew until his cocky attitude wasn't just an act anymore. Admittedly, he was still a little sensitive, but it had sunk to a healthy level. It was like all forms of any real emotional problems were gone, and he was finally just normal, happy Tidus all the time.

And then something happened that made him regress back into that same nine-year-old boy. When he was fourteen he got the living crap beat out of him. And he was right back to square one. The only difference was that this time he wasn't a child. This time he bottled it all up until he found a more adult way to deal with his anxiety. He took out all his self-loathing through his body. Through sex. Not just sex, lots and lots of sex with lots and lots of random partners.

Auron became abruptly aware of this when he'd interrupted him in the living room and had then done some research. He never let Tidus know that he knew about all the sleeping around the boy did. All that would accomplish would be to alienate the boy from him. So he watched on, truly unsure of what to do, but in a way glad that the brat wasn't doing something even more dangerous, like taking drugs or following in his father's footsteps by taking up the bottle. And as much as the older man hated to admit it, the sex seemed to be working. As long as Tidus kept sleeping around, he was able to be genuinely cheerful throughout his everyday activities. He was able to function normally as his happy-go-lucky self, didn't start to randomly hate or blame himself on a regular basis. It was right back to how he'd been before he got beat up... but Auron should have done more to stop it. Not helping the boy then was probably the biggest mistake of his life. He saw that now more than ever.

Because now, Tidus was stuck in Spira on a pilgrimage where not only were they traveling most of the time, but when they finally stopped at an inn or a town, he still couldn't normally have random sex because so many of the people were dead-set against homosexuality. And the boy had always been, without a doubt, gay. So now that he wasn't getting that usual amount of sex, now that he couldn't use that outlet anymore, Tidus' old habits were coming back with a vengeance. He was back to thinking he was in the way, that no one liked him, no one 'wanted' him. And the more he began thinking that again, the more Auron realized just how much he'd truly failed him. He should have helped him with this before, not let him sweep it under the rug through abusing his body. But he would help him now. It was definitely time to interfere, stop the boy's thoughts from getting any worse. Auron didn't like it when Tidus thought this way, actually thought that if he wasn't around people would be happier. If Auron wanted to be honest, he was terrified of where it might lead. If Tidus continued down that path, he might try to leave everyone permanently. And just the thought managed to make the hardened warrior stop breathing.

So now first things first. Getting over his 'sex addiction' of sorts would take time and work, and Auron would slowly help him along with that; both because he didn't want the boy to hurt himself anymore and because he didn't want him sleeping with anyone else. But right now, there was another pressing problem, and it was one Auron could take care of immediately.

Letting his pace slow, he dropped back to walk next to the blond, earning a rather suspicious glare for his troubles. He stayed silent at first, letting the boy get used to his presence before saying softly, "You're worried about Yuna." Mentally he chuckled dryly. Hadn't he had this same discussion with Rikku not long ago? Why the hell was he the one stuck with caring for these damn kids?

The conversation that ensued went well though. Tidus obviously hadn't figured out on his own that Yuna was trying to get something from Seymour, but he caught on quickly enough, thank Yevon. Auron explained what he thought was truly going on, Tidus expressed his worries in more detail, and everything got out in the open. Now there was only one thing left to say, but Auron knew it was the most important.

"Yuna is easy to read."

"Yeah, she is."

"But hard to guard." The older man quickened his pace, leaving the younger behind. "Stand by her, always."

He chanced a glance over his shoulder and was pleased to see the blond nod, along with jogging a bit to catch up. It had worked. He didn't have to worry about the boy trying to leave, not right now at least. Now he had a... purpose of sorts. He had a reason to stay with them. He wasn't an unwanted burden, he was expected to stay by Yuna, to help her. He wasn't just in the way, he had a job to do. And Auron knew that would keep him from thinking the others didn't want him around. For the time being, things would okay, he just had to stay alert. This was all far from over.

***

Rikku wasn't sure what Auron had said to Tidus earlier, but she had been thrilled when her buddy was suddenly back and scheming with her once again. After they'd managed to flatten Wakka's gravity defying hair, much to everyone else's delight, it was time to make camp. Tidus and Wakka wandered off to collect firewood, Kimahri and Auron started setting up the tents, and the girls built a fire and started on dinner. It was as they sat around said fire, watching the food to make sure it didn't burn... again... that Yuna leaned over and whispered into her cousin's ear, "Hey, can I tell you something? Only... you have to keep it a secret."

Immediately, Rikku was alert. She hoped to almighty Yevon that Yuna would tell her whatever was wrong, would say why she suddenly decided to marry Seymour. And of course Rikku would keep it a secret from the other guardians... depending on what it was and whether or not it was something they could indeed help her with. "Of course, Yunie!"

Yuna glanced around, making sure anyone nearby was out of ear-shot and busy with their own tasks, before giggling and leaning in a bit closer. "I think... I think I may like someone... really like them."

Rikku dropped the machina part she'd been cleaning, green eyes going wide. That was Yuna-speak for 'I have a super huge crush on someone, and I want to pin them down and fuck their brains out.' "Really? Who?" Her face scrunched in distaste. "It isn't actually... Sey--"

"Of course not! He's just a duty, you know that!"

The little blond let out a huge sigh of relief. For a second there she was worried her cousin might have absolutely appalling taste in men.

"I... it's... Tidus."

The poor machina fell a second time. Uh-oh. "Umm, Yunie... you sure?"

Yuna blinked bi-colored eyes, confused. Was she sure? "Of course I'm sure, Rikku. What's wrong with Tidus?"

Oh dear, this was bad. "There's nothing wrong with him, Yunie, but--"

"Before you say it, I know occasionally he can be a bit childish," the summoner cut her off, flipping brown hair deftly over one shoulder. "But so can you, and that's part of his charm. He's always so sweet and caring, always puts others before himself. Like earlier. I know Wakka and Lulu thought he was being a baby, but he was only upset for my sake. He tries so hard all the time to make me happy."

Rikku winced as Yuna named all the reasons to like Tidus, and she agreed with every single one of them. Only one small problem. Tidus was as gay as they come, and it would seem her cousin had yet to realize this. She didn't know how, it had only taken her a few days before she herself was sure, but then again she was Al Bhed and Yuna was a Yevonite. Al Bhed accepted that's how some people were and Yevonites... well... But this was really, really bad. And to make it all just a little bit worse, Yuna wasn't the only member of the party who had their eye on the blond blitzer. She vaguely wondered how the summoner would take it if she knew her competition, a thirty-five year old unsent male, had a better chance at ever getting with Tidus than she did. "Yunie..."

Yuna quickly held up a hand. "I know nothing can ever happen, Rikku. I have to marry Seymour--"

"You don't have to marry Seymour!"

"--and I must continue my pilgrimage. I know I can never actually... but I just... I can dream, right?"

The blond bit her bottom lip hard, not able to make eye contact. "Yeah... 'course you can dream." She forced a cheerful smile to the best of her ability. "No harm in dreams, y'know?" She immediately felt guilty, but what should she do? Telling Yuna that Tidus was gay would only depress her even more, and quite frankly there wasn't anything wrong with dreaming a little. Everyone fantasized, and as long as that's all Yuna planned on doing, she didn't need to know the truth.

***

"Hey, Tidus... think you could do me a favor, ya?"

The boy stopped taking his bright yellow boots off and blinked at Wakka surprised for a moment. "Yeah, sure, man, what's up?"

"Haha, well y'see..." Wakka's face slowly turned the same shade as his hair. "Me and Lu... we--"

Tidus waved his hands wildly in front of him, willing the older man to stop. Something about the picture of Wakka and Lulu together, strike that, the picture of Lulu with anyone, made him start to feel uncomfortable for some reason. Probably because most of the time she acted like the frigging ice queen and constantly gave him looks that scared the shit out of him. "All right, I got it. I'll get outta your way."

"Heh, you the best, ya?"

"Uh, thanks." And fifteen minutes later found Tidus not sleeping in the tent he and Wakka shared, but sitting around the slowly dying fire, shivering a bit and wishing he had grabbed a blanket before he left them alone. How long were they going to take? They weren't going to be at it all night... right? Well, at least they were quiet, only the occasional grunt or moan reached his ears, and had he been sleeping like everyone else was lucky enough to be doing, he never would have heard it.

A small noise behind him made him turn and he smirked a bit. Maybe everyone wasn't asleep after all. "Hey, Auron. Takin' a walk?" Tidus really wasn't surprised. Even back in Zanarkand when he was a kid, Auron would constantly get up in the middle of the night and sit out on the deck, watching the stars. Now on the pilgrimage he'd randomly wander off for a bit to be alone. It was just his nature.

A grunt was his reply and the red-coated warrior slowly took a seat on the ground next to him. After several minutes of silence, the bigger man said slowly, "It's late. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Tidus laughed abashedly, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah, well, about that... I..." His voice trailed off at the sound of a particularly wanton moan, and his cheeks turned a nice shade of pink. "Haha..."

Another grunt. "I see."

The blond cleared his throat and looked away, finding the situation incredibly awkward. He still didn't know what exactly had happened between himself and Auron at the inn the other day and he wasn't sure how exactly he should act around him. The logical part of his brain told him that this was still Auron, still the man that had raised him, and he shouldn't act any differently around him than before. The other part was quick to point out that never during the ten years Auron spent raising him did anything even mildly sexual happen, and maybe things weren't the same as they had always been. Okay, obviously things weren't the same, but... exactly how much had changed? As all this ran through his mind he yawned widely into his hand. Fuck, he was too tired to be thinking about this complicated shit.

As he turned half-lidded eyes to the fire, he heard Auron's coat rustle beside him before an outstretched hand was stuck in his face. "Come."

Trying not to shiver at that particular word and the other way it had been whispered in his ear not long ago, Tidus stared at the offered hand like he'd never seen the like of it before. "What?"

"You can stay in my tent."

Oh... Yeah, that made sense, especially since it was anyone's guess how long Wakka and Lulu would take, but... "Ah, that's okay, Auron, I don't wanna be a bother."

One dark, amber eye narrowed and the corners of his mouth curved down. He, not for the first time, cursed how intricate the brat could be. It was entirely possible that the boy was just making a polite gesture and didn't want to impose on Auron's personal space. With Tidus, though, it was also entirely possible that he was now thinking he was a horrible inconvenience to humanity and should go kill himself rather than force Auron to share a tent with him for the night. Normally it would be the first, but lately, with Tidus' emotions going slowly out of whack, who knew. He was like a junkie who had just had their stash taken away from them. Or really, though Auron hated to think about it this way, like a cutter who had just been forced to stop. He was his normal self for the most part, but he was slowly getting more and more sensitive to... everything.

Luckily, regardless of where his thoughts were at the moment, Auron's reaction would still be the same. The hand that was meant to help him up grabbed ahold of wrist and yanked him to his feet with a growled, "Don't be ridiculous," as he was dragged into the older man's tent. He was shoved unceremoniously down onto the bedroll where Auron then joined him, throwing his red coat over both of them like a blanket and draping an arm lazily over the blond. As much as he wanted to pull the younger man's body close to his and hold him, Auron kept the physical contact light, no different than he had when Tidus was a child and had sought refuge in his bed from the thunderstorm outside. He wanted to start making moves, wanted to very badly, but now was not the time. There were more important issues than Auron's sexual desires here.

If Tidus hadn't been so damn exhausted he would have found himself a bit excited by this whole situation. He hadn't slept with Auron since he was eleven. He remembered the specific night, because it had been just after Tidon had died, and he'd been upset, despite having known it was coming and that the cat had actually lived longer than originally expected. He also remembered it distinctly because it was the only time other than when he'd tried to run away that he hadn't been the one to come to Auron. Instead Auron had grabbed him before he could reach his room, pulling him into his own, saying, /"You'll just end up back here anyway."/ Tidus' eleven year old manly pride had wanted to argue, but he didn't. Partially because he knew it was true, but mostly because he was just so happy Auron was there and cared. Now Auron had once again instigated it and Tidus found his mind wandering back to the night at the inn after he'd given Auron a blowjob. The older man had been laying with him when he fell asleep, and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd stayed with him all night...

"Sex is a funny thing, isn't it?"

Tidus jumped a bit, suddenly roused from his half-asleep state by the very odd question. No, not only the question was odd, but Auron's tone of voice was too. It was the tone he used when he knew he was getting ready to make a long speech, a very rare occurrence. Tidus couldn't help but dread where this might be going. "Y-yes...?"

Auron heard the clear hesitation and reluctance in the boy's voice and knew he didn't want to talk about this. Too bad, Auron didn't particularly want to either, but it needed to be talked about. In the past he'd let it be swept under the rug, had decided that if he ignored it enough it would go away. That wasn't the way things worked. You can choose not to see something all you want, that doesn't mean it's not there. This time he wasn't going to pretend things would work themselves out when he knew they wouldn't. This time he would help Tidus. And the most important part of that was talking about it. They would talk. And they'd start now.

"It can be used for a lot of things. Most commonly it's used for reproduction and pleasure. But it can also be used for other means as well... can't it?"

Tidus felt himself stiffen automatically, pretty sure he knew exactly where this was going now. It was strange, however, for Auron to be beating around the bush like this; he was usually much more blunt and straightforward. Just what was he playing at? Well, whatever it was, Tidus wasn't playing along. "I don't know, can it?"

Auron was unfazed by his lack of cooperation. He'd expected it. "I believe so. For instance, there are people out there who use it to harm others, like that man you stopped before. They get more pleasure from hurting people with it than the act itself."

The boy shivered a bit but remained silent.

"Then every once and a while you'll find a more unique approach... Say, someone who uses it to harm themself."

Tidus shut his eyes, willing this conversation to end now. He didn't want to talk about this! How did Auron even know? How long had Auron known? Shit, he had to get away. He couldn't stay here, not with Auron, not when he knew how sick Tidus was.

"You wouldn't happen to know anyone like that, would you, Tidus?"

Get away! The boy made a rather frantic scramble to get to his feet and out of the tent, but without missing a beat, the arm that had been resting gently over him before tightened like a vice. He was slammed back into a hard chest, and Auron's other arm came around him as well, trapping him completely. He struggled weakly for a moment until Auron growled lowly in his ear, "Calm yourself," and he unconsciously obeyed before the words even fully reached his brain. So he laid there, limp and trembling, his only salvation coming in the fact his back was to his former guardian, wishing Auron would just get whatever he had planned over with now that he knew... And if he knew that, did he know just how many people Tidus had slept with? Fuck... fuckfuckfuck...

Auron had known Tidus would fight with him on the whole issue. He'd also half-expected the boy to panic like he had. What he hadn't expected was the fear rolling off him in waves. That didn't make any sense, not that the boy made sense very often, but still. Why would he be so damn scared? The brat didn't really expect him to hurt him, did he? Hell, he wasn't even... oh... now it made sense.

Relaxing his grip so that it was still firm but less suffocating, Auron said in his most gentle voice, trying to ignore the fact that it still wasn't very gentle, "Tidus, I'm not angry with you. Are you listening? I'm not angry, I'm not going to get angry, and I don't hate you. I just want to talk." And dear Yevon did he hate talking this much. He was a quiet man by nature, normally doing his best to avoid full sentences. He certainly wasn't garrulous the way Tidus was, he'd never been able to indulge in idle chatter, could rarely hold a decent conversation unless he was mad or lecturing. And Tidus generally understood him better than most; the boy was an expert at reading his monosyllabic sounds and abstruse body language. But right now Tidus was in no condition to have a simple grunt thrown his way. Tidus needed Auron to talk to him before he would talk himself, and Auron would do just that, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. He would spell everything out carefully so Tidus couldn't misconstrue his words and make it worse. He wouldn't mess up again.

And his talking seemed to work, along with his choice of words. The boy's trembling began to ease almost instantly, and he slowly leaned back against Auron, no longer afraid of who knew what repercussions. Auron bit back a sigh of relief at this and idly patted a blond head, silently saying 'good boy.' After waiting another minute for the brat to become fully relaxed he said evenly, "I want to talk a little, Tidus. I want you to tell me why."

Tidus felt like crying for a number of reasons, none of which were good enough to give into of course. He couldn't help but whimper a bit at Auron's question, though, and wearily shut his blue eyes. "Auron... I'm really tired." He was whining, and he knew it, he just didn't care. He truly was far too tired for this.

Auron heard the pleading in his voice and felt himself give way slightly. But no, he'd gotten this far, he needed something. Just a start, that was all, but something. "You don't have to tell me why you want to hurt yourself." They would discuss that later, without a doubt, but he knew it would be much more in depth than the boy could go right now. "But that is what you're using sex for isn't it? Not pleasure but... what? Punishment?"

Tidus was immediately hit with the image of Dennick's worried brown eyes and pretty frown. /"Sex isn't supposed to be a punishment, cutie."/ And to think that no matter how often he'd said that, Tidus hadn't even believed him. It seemed so obvious now. "Sometimes. Yes." Maybe he just hadn't ever wanted to see it before.

The older man's eye shut as he realized without a doubt that Tidus indeed wasn't the junkie, he was the cutter. Both junkies and cutters were addicts, but in very, very different ways. Most sex addicts were like junkies, both chasing after a high, both desperately trying to reach that pinnacle of pleasure. Cutters were addicts too, they became addicted to taking their frustrations out on their own bodies, thinking they did something wrong and needed to be hurt, punished, for it, even if they didn't realize that's what they were doing. Tidus was the cutter, the self-harmer, not the libertine... Auron wished Tidus was the libertine instead. Because that would mean he hadn't been hurting all this time while Auron looked the other way.

"You need to stop that, Tidus. It isn't healthy."

The boy whimpered again and shifted uncomfortably. Auron knew he was reaching his peak of cooperation for the time being. Besides, the brat really was tired, he needed to sleep. "Just one more question... Why do you use sex as opposed to other methods?"

He felt the blond tilt his head slightly to the left and knew exactly what kind of expression the boy was wearing. It was his typical brow-furrowed, deep in thought look, the one he only gave serious, important questions. Finally he whispered so quietly it could barely be heard, "I don't know," and Auron knew he was telling the truth.

"All right, that's enough for now. Go to sleep." He attempted to remove the arms he'd kept around the brat in case he tried to bolt again, when his wrists were caught in smaller, tan hands. He paused then, realizing what the brat was silently asking, and left them where they were.

"Auron?"

"Hm?"

"Please..." The boy took a deep breath as if steeling himself for something horrible. "Please don't leave," and he sounded so desperate Auron felt his heart break a little. He didn't know what exactly the boy meant, whether he wanted Auron to stay with him for the night or he was afraid the older man would abandon him completely now, but his answer was the same regardless. He pulled the brat in closer and said as simply as he could, "I won't."

A small sigh of relief. "Good."

The brat was asleep within minutes, testament to just how tired he had been. Auron ignored his own fatigue, staring down at the sleeping boy's face, a pronounced frown marring his own. He had finally broken the ice, let Tidus know that he knew about his 'habit.' He had at least managed to get somewhere, and that was good. But he just couldn't understand it. Why in all of Spira would the boy think he needed to be punished? He'd lived with the boy for ten years, and in all that time had only had to ground him on a few occasions, normally for lousy grades. He'd never done anything honestly bad, ever, so why would he want to hurt himself? Did he really just hate himself that much? It didn't make any sense. Then again, self-hatred rarely ever did.

Absently, he pushed some hair away from the boy's face before laying back and finally closing his eyes. He would get to the bottom of this and fix it. And he would do it before he really did have to leave.