In My Field of Flowers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY Final Fantasy VIII characters, though I wished.

Rated: R/for now

!WARNINGS! A classic Mary-Sue fic! If you don't like girls mysteriously finding their way in the world of Final Fantasy VIII then, I suggest you leave as quickly as possible.

YOU: I usually don't post if I don't get Feed Back. It just proves that this fiction wasn't worthy enough to be put on here. So, if you like it, be sure to post a review, even if it is to tell me to UPDATE. I like being pushed.

Summary: Seventeen year old Lisa Cardaci, spends her birthday in Japan to meet with Executive Producer, Hironobu Sakaguchi. What does that have to do with her winding up outside of Balamb a week before all conflicts?


At the end of the world,
or the last thing I see
You are never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
For all the smiles that are never, ever...
If I fall...
If I fall, down
For all the ghosts that are never gonna to catch me

SilverWolverina: That guy from X-Men? I was checking it out during work and was like, OMG!!! I'm slowly, but surely pushing that bitch out of the way. There has to be some girl drama, you know? lol Thank you for reviewing, you know how much I love your reviews. Thank you, girl!!!! Can't wait to hear from you soon, or else!

Shiva: Captain Crunch is delicious, trust me, we use to date. You're so eager for the Squall/Lisa loving, aren't you?! It's not going to be anytime soon. You think it's that easy to get into Squall's pants? I LOVE YOU! Thank you for reviewing, you go and rock that Crunch! And thanks you for the remedy for WB!

PineappleGirl: Hell yeah, your British-self is going to give me a pineapple! Yes, I can imagine that Lisa did want to bitch slap the hell out of Seifer. Seriously, throw him down a well and tell him to rub himself with some lotion. PSPSSPS: Irvine's legs are mighty delicious and he should be a male model for stockings, is it just me? As for the update, I guess it was pretty cool. But, I need to get the blood boiling again! And stop reading and drinking, you wanker! Thanks for reviewing, Doll-face.

Cassie: It does suck! And Seifer is so a Nick Carter. I found an oppurtunity to put it in the story! Thank you for taking the time to review. It means a lot to me and I hope that I hear from you soon!


Chapter Ten: Goodbye Means; She Has You

I went on the top deck, looking out towards the sky. The sun wasn't so far away, almost reachable. I'd always get sick when my father would bring me on his fishing trips, which he liked to do often, but this wasn't so bad. The nice breeze and the ocean air. You could actually think, clearly.

The floor creaked and I turned my head, getting a glimpse of the brunette that was trying to sneak up on me. "Hey, Rinoa."

She snaps her fingers. "Oh, darn. I was trying to spook ya!"

A gave a friendly smile, then went back to the scenery. A place inside of me wanted to leave, just give up this spot for her, the other half wanted me to stay, and just forget she's here. It's her presence that fuels me.

"That's a nice necklace." She smiled at me, pointing at it, as if I didn't know that I was wearing it. "Isn't that the same one as Squall's?"

Why, yes it is. Jealous? I shook away the thought of saying that, 'cause Lord knows I would. When I wanted to be spiteful, I knew how to do just that. "It was the craziest thing. When I came here, it sort of just appeared."

She laughed, "It makes no sense. You 'came here' with it and don't know who put it on you?"

For the love of Hyne, I am going to wind up throwing her over the railing. I'm aggravated enough and she wants to giggle at me and ask me questions that I can't even answer even if I wanted to! I have Squall pissed off at me and I haven't seen Selphie, Irvine, or Zell. Not even after the egg of doom, NORG. I'm extremely tired and I wished that everyone would just give me one moment of peace.

"Do you like Squall?" I asked her, watching her expression, closely. It was surprised, then thoughtful.

I need to remind myself that I asked the question and I cannot get pissed off at her if I don't like her reply. Chances are, I will, but it can be different. I did come along and he has been avoiding her. Then again, he's been avoiding me like the plague.

"I do like him, it's just that he's so down on himself, and I don't know why."

It's because he feels like he has to.

"He can never look at me and when he does, he's so...off."

It's because your new and he's confused on how he feels, because it only struck him a few days ago. You're the girl he danced with, and shyness is in his nature, along with silence, and cold-hearted.

"Squall doesn't rely on others..."

And that's because no one's ever given him a reason. He'll come out of his shell, when people stop depending on him all the time. It's foreign to him.

"And I don't wanna have to the be the one to say this, but-he said, he wished he'd never met you. That you're nothing but trouble and extra weight."

I could feel the blood drain from my face. As if I don't have enough problems, Rinoa is telling me how much Squall hates me. Okay, I'm just going to pretend like I didn't hear that, to restrain myself from ripping off her head.

"Just give him some time to adjust to all of this." With that I walked out, leaving her behind. I hope she'd stay there and actually think over what I said. It was the truth, Squall doesn't need her to put him under all of this stress. He doesn't need...me.

I walked down the corridor onto the elevator, I can tell Cid that I give up, that he doesn't need me. He does fine without me in the long run. I can get over that look in his eyes. I could feel his hatred for me, his resentment. Back home he was the coolest guy in the world. He was fucking, Squall Leonhart. Now I, Lisa Cardaci, am at the receiving end.

The doorbell gave it's annoying, 'ding', and I stepped on the platform, my hand already explaining before my mouth moved. "Cid-"

"From now on, you're Balamb Garden's new leader."

My mouth fell opened and I looked towards Squall. If it was possible, his eyes grew colder. I could feel myself shut down, wanting to take him far away, he'd enjoy the Caribbean.

"Yes, Lisa?" Cid asked, brightly. In that, no more stress anymore, tone.

Maybe after I'm gone he can relax, save the world, and marry Rinoa.

"I'm just going to go get my stuff...my work here is done," I said, a bit shocked that I was even going through with this. For some reason, he actually cared and shot me a glance. It wasn't angry and it sure as hell wasn't happy. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

My goodbye to him was a pathetic nod. His expression hadn't changed, not even a blink. I went back to my dorm room and began to pack my things. What am I doing? I closed my eyes, shuddering. I promised to prove him wrong, I promised. No one cares. "I don't care no more."

I pulled my bag from the bed and bashed into someone. The person wrapped their arms around me and let out a sigh of relief. I looked at their jacket, leaning into him, when I figured it out, getting a better hold of him. A smile relaxing my lips. "Irvine, you saved my life."

He pulls back, winking his gorgeously, violet gems. "Just doing my job, ma'am."

"I, uhm, have to go." I started to walk for the exit, pausing, as he grabs my wrist. "I'm serious, tell everyone it's been great."

"Wait, we're having a celebration, you can't go!" He rushes, "Selphie put this whole thing together."

"I'm sorry, Irvine." I took off my necklace and placed it in his hand. He looks at it, oddly. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Just give it to Rinoa for me, will ya?"

Before he could say anything, I was already in the elevator. The necklace held no meaning, especially if you're wearing it for someone who doesn't even care about you. Rinoa can find better use for it than I can. If I can't save him, at least I know she can.

Oh, I know what you're thinking, why? One minute I want to stay, the next I want to leave. Let me justify myself for you.

I remember when I first got my Final Fantasy VIII game. It was Christmas and I had been waiting to get it for months. I didn't have a job and right around that time, it had been expensive.

The very first thing I did after I unwrapped it, was played it. Screw my other presents, this was it. I was obsessed, almost. Not a gross obsesser, but stuck with the game. My room was my cave, where I'd drink my soda and stay up all night. What school work? Eh, I'll do it later.

When the ending finally came, I was torn. Not that the ending was bad or anything, it was just...an ending. No continuations, no books, not even a movie. It would have sucked, but I would have watched it.

Fanfiction; a story with fake plots. Untrue, imaginative.

Well, what would happen if I made my own continuation of the game? So, I'd write it down and I'd post it. I thought that it would be so much easier, that my imagination and ideas of FF VIII were the 'real' thing. Oh, how wrong I was.

Now that I'm here, I don't know shit about Balamb, about anything. Alone and at loss of something that I thought I had been right about all along. I knew nothing about my favorite game. Nothing about my favorite character, the one I thought I had figured out. I knew which buttons to push and which ones not to. I was wrong, he hates me.

Outside of Balamb Garden was the same welcoming field I started from. I guess I can try and talk to someone in Balamb? It can't hurt any and the people there are nice. Or I can always move up to Trabia and live in the mountains. Nah, too much walking.

One thing is for sure, I'm not going to be depressed about this.

-

"More ice cream fudge, dear?"

I laid my cheek on my palm, tiredly. "And then, she comes along and steals him away on the dance floor. Heh, it was just so-o-o amazing! Chippy Rinny! What-I'm sorry. Yes, please."

Ma Dincht grabs my bowl, scooping in my fifth helping of chocolaty fudge. She let me come in, as soon as I asked for her help. Ma was this bright woman and looked a lot like Zell. The face structure and the 'Dincht Sapphires', as she called them. One of those warm mothers' with soft voices that soothed you right away.

"Oh dear! oh, dear, oh, one second..." she rambled from the kitchen, carrying out the two bowls. Ma sat down and gave me a concerned, glance. "She just whisked him away and he didn't even know how to dance?"

I nodded. "The boy was so closed in, you know? I gave her that necklace I was telling you about."

Who was I kidding? I'm miserable. A crying wreck, a pathetic little girl with ice cream dripping down her face, preaching to Zell's mother. "I loved him even before he existed. When he was just a little guy on my TV screen."

Ma puts her hands over her heart, a pink brightening up her cheeks. "Sweetie, that is so sad. You really care about him, huh?"

I looked over at her, showing her how serious I am. You're damn straight I care about him. I wouldn't have failed Math class if I didn't.

"You know what?" she asked, pulling my bowl away from me. "I think that if he cares about you, he'll come and find you. I've met him once and he was a perfect gentlemen, and gentlemen don't leave their ladies in wait for long."

I smiled, kindly. "I feel better, thanks."

"Good, now get your butt up those stairs and shower, young lady," she scolded. "I am not looking after pigs. I do that earlier in the fall, move it!"

After showering, I went into Zell's room, and laid down on the bed. He'd probably kill me if he was here. A room is a 'sacred place'. Just to spite him, I sank my head into the pillow, moaning at the comfort.

I wonder what Squall's doing right now? the gang is probably doing that mini performance for him and Rinoa must be hitting on him, getting to him with all the pretty things she says. I'm not really big on being cute, to do that, you'd have to fit the description.

Would he accept her kindness and stop pushing her away? smile when she gives him a push onto the frozen rink of ice? Genuine and full against his lips, kissable, and soft looking, just to taste his rare smile. To keep that perfection in his eyes.

I could picture him, cheeks, and nose red from the cold. Hair greased down in his face from restless naps and long hours of battle. Not his usual alert self, but a seductive, incredibly delicate stature. Gray eyes, dark with something unreadable, too wild to tame, and almost dangerous. An exciting fear would replace her silly mood, bringing a victorious smirk to his lips.

He would revel in it, as he inches closer to her. Skilled fingers would pull her closer, a meir breath away from his lips. An adrenaline to enjoy the coma he awoken from. So unexpected and breathlessly, sweet. Squall leans down and captures her lips, his sharp teeth would nibble and coax, until access is his.

Once gained, he'd taste her velvet tongue, probably certain of a taste. Knowing Rinoa, it'll be something like candy. She'd wrap her arms around his neck, playing with his air-dry hair. The small movement would make him moan, a vibration sounding deep within his throat, as he searches around her hot cavern.

I frowned, throwing one of Zell's pillows. "Rinoa, you suck!"

"Lisa, are you still awake? don't make me come up there!"

My eyes shut and I turned over to get some sleep, though, it's going to be hard.

I couldn't stop thinking about his smile. What it would be like to have him actually look at me and be happy. To grab me by the waist and kiss me on the lips. With or without aggression, just that smile. We don't have to talk, we can just simply be there.

Why can't he just be happy?

-

Lady_Saktaka: That was really sweet of you to hug her, Irvy.

Irvine: (Polishes his gun) Anything for you.

Lady_Saktaka: My goodness, uhm...anways. Thank you for reading
be kind and hit the review button. It can lead you to-

Irvine: Me, polishing my gun.

Lady_Saktaka: This is the 2000's, do you even know what that sounds
like?

Irvine: Me, polishing my gun.

Lady_Saktaka: (Puts head in hands) I have to go before he further humiliates me.