The Distance Between You and I

The Distance Between You and I

Final Chapter

“Glad to see you’ve kept your end of the bargain. I’ve already done my part.” Squall didn’t need to confirm Ellone’s safety, he’d already called Laguna to make sure the girl had arrived. Dallas was sitting with his feet on his desk, tie less and shirt open. “Come here pet, I’ve always wanted to see you do it yourself.”

Squall stripped off his pants and kept his jacket on. The less naked skin he touched, the longer he held back his nausea. He climbed on the offered lap and turned to face the desk instead. No matter how much the little voice screamed at him to stop, Squall couldn’t see any hope in his situation. He’d made a deal, no matter how hard it had been and continue to be, it was small comfort to know the ones he loved most would be safe. Dallas didn’t seem to mind. His length had already hardened at the thought of Squall riding above while looking pained and in agony. It made him shiver with delight when he imagined the sight of the blood between the brunette’s legs. As Squall positioned himself over the engorged cock, Dallas placed his hands on the narrow shoulders and pushed down without warning. He heard the boy’s groan of pain and thrusted up with glee.

“Start pet, fuck yourself.” He threw his head back as Squall began moving, hissing with sting whenever the boy drove down. “Did you learn your lesson with my guards? I heard they were quite pleased with you. Perhaps I should let them have their fun more often.”

Squall gritted his teeth and began moving up and down on the dry shaft. The walls felt as though they were closing in, the words stung him more than he could remember of the brutality itself. He recalled hot and grimy breath, brushing against his neck as grimier hands ran over his skin. Hazy memory made his head reel, drowning his mind in blurred images and the clear constant of erratic pain. The minutes he’d spent in this room felt like hours, forcing him to relive moments he had hoped to never recall.

“Do you call his name when you come?” Said Dallas in a voice dripping with malice. He drew the boy closer, “what was his name again, Squall? Call it for me.”

Stormy eyes closed at the mention of Seifer. Their single night burning in his memory as he was assaulted with painful thrusts. Somewhere in the back of his head, Squall wished he’d never been with the blonde; because having tasted the pleasures of making love made his time with Dallas just that little harder to bare. To see Seifer above him, whispering his name as he climaxed had been beautiful. The realisation that it’ll never happen again made his chest constrict and brought a tear to his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.”

Squall snapped his eyes open and looked into the dim space in front of him. It was Seifer’s voice. A voice he had learnt to need, to want and to love. Three little words, a whisper only he could hear; it drowned out everything. Ghostly arms seemed to wrap around him, bringing him to a warm chest that was safe, into an embrace he’d never want to leave. But Seifer wasn’t here. And he’ll never see Seifer again.

“I love you.”

Another whisper. Clearer and stronger. It made Squall looked deeper into the shadows, wondering if the blonde was here after all.

“I love you too.”

And that was him, whispering back as he watched Seifer fall asleep in his lap. He recalled that distinct moment with a strange feeling in his heart. An alien emotion he’d never felt except for when he was with Seifer.

Hope.

The letter opener on the table winked at him with cold glint. Without second thought, Squall grabbed the thin blade in his hand, twisted around and plunged the sharp point into a heaving chest.

The sudden burst of warmth on his chest made Dallas snap his eyes open. Squall’s head was bowed, body twisted around, arms up and forward. He followed the appendage with his black eyes, until he realised what the burst of warmth had been. Pale hands, wrapped around the hilt of his letter opener. Hot dribble of blood bubbled up his throat and spilled from the corners of his mouth. When his mind finally registered the bloom of localised pain, Dallas screamed.

“You won’t ever touch me again.” He growled under his breath.

“Not me, not anyone. Again.”

With a flick of his wrist, Squall drew the bloody blade away and climbed off; feeling the already congealing blood running down his hands. Dallas was still watching him even through the spasms of his dying body. Squall thought he could smell the stench of decay that had began long before this moment. With every drop of blood and every rasp of breath, the nightmare was nearing its end. Ellone was safe, Dallas would be dead. And hope…was within arm’s reach.

“And neither will he.” Came with a wet cough.

“I know.” And he heard the cock of a pistol. Somehow he’d expected it, even with the flames of hope rushing through his body.

The sound of the gunshot rang through the office, sending all the dogs in the street barking. Squall felt his body thrown back as the bullet torn it’s way into his stomach. He reeled and clutched at the wound. When he looked up again, Dallas was already dead with his eyes still open. His knees lost strength and he fell onto the ground beneath him.

There was the stomping of feet on carpet as the guards rushed in, alarmed by the loud bang. When they saw Dallas dead and Squall crawling along the carpet, none of the men bothered with their apparent duty and left Squall back in his peace. As he finally managed to sit up against a wall, Squall took a long breath and gave in to his mind. It wasn’t true when people say your life flashes before you in the exact moment of your death. At least it wasn’t true for Squall. He saw nothing but images of Seifer. From the first moment they met, to the last touch of their skin. He remembered and saw everything. It wasn’t long before he heard the scream of sirens, but Squall was less than concerned about his diminishing life. He smiled and murmured something under a painful breath and his vision dimmed. Rest had never felt so welcomed.

OOOOOO

“Come back to me.”

A voice was calling. To him, he knew. From where, he wasn’t sure.

The ground below him crunched with the shift of his foot. Before him, was a vast plain of grey nothing, littered only by the occasional jagged rock. Squall looked around the alien landscape; though he’d never been here before, there was a certain familiarity that gave comfort to his confusion. The sky above, if it was the sky, rolled with grey clouds that promised rain. Squall half wondered if this was what a desert looked like, until he remembered he should be dead.

“Come back.”

There was the same voice again. Sounding like a desperate plea. Squall wasn’t so sure if it was calling to him anymore, because he doesn’t remember anyone who’d want him to go back to wherever ‘back’ was. Nevertheless, the voice was beginning to sound more familiar. The name was on the tip of the tongue. He shut his eyes and tried to remember. A man…man with green eyes…and golden blonde hair…a man called…

“Seifer?”

There was no response, not even his loud call had echoed. Sounds disappeared into the gloom, soaked up like sponge and water. Squall took a step forward, turning his head at different directions. Maybe the voice would call again.

“Come back, you stupid, stubborn, beautiful idiot!”

“Seifer!” Squall called. The voice was fading, and Seifer had sounded more broken than before. He was so confused at what was happening. With each step he took, regardless of direction, the land seemed to move with him. The same piece of jagged rock never got closer no matter how many steps he took towards it. “Seifer!” He called again.

“He can’t hear you, my love.”

Squall spun on his heels and faced the woman who appeared behind him. She was unearthly, tall and slim with light blue skin. Her silvery hair moved as did her simple gown to an unfelt breeze. With a flick of her hand, the greyness around them disappeared, replaced by snow as soft as feathery down. She held out a elegant hand and Squall took it reluctantly, allowing her to guide them across the frozen landscape.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it love?”

And Squall had to agree. All around them were trees, frozen and preserved by translucent ice. Through the path winding between the trees, he saw a lake. Blue water covered by thick ice so smooth, it would surely reflect his pale face. Just above the lake was a waterfall, frozen while the water was still in falling. It was a jagged beam of crystal hanging in mid-air, but Squall thought he could still hear the roar of tumbling water.

“Seifer.” He murmured. The blonde’s voice hadn’t reached him since he saw the woman.

“Hush, lion. Seifer was part of your old life. Don’t you remember the pain of that life?”

Hel suddenly recalled the memories of hands running and groping at him. Hands that twisted and torn, hands that had no business touching him. He reeled with the rush of images, falling forward into the snow. But the blue woman caught him and drew him to a cold embrace. The refreshing coolness calmed and soothed. He didn’t want to go back, he wanted to be here. With her, where it’s safe.

“I love you.”

Another wave of memory washed over him. Seifer around him, above him, below him. Seifer’s smile, the sound of Seifer’s laugh, the taste of Seifer’s lips and the smell of Seifer’s skin. It poured heat into his cold body and he pushed away the embrace of blue arms.

“Seifer is calling for me.” He said, ready to run once he remembers the way out. But snow covered the ground as far as his eyes could see.

“Not for long, lion. Here you can rest for what remains of eternity. Why not stay than to endure the harshness of life in a world that failed you more than once?” Squall looked into her silvery eyes and listened to the musical ring of her voice. This was paradise, but what is paradise if you couldn’t share it with the one you love most?

“He needs me.” He answered. Then thought of something else. “And I need him.”

“You don’t need him to protect you. Here, I can give you whatever you need, lion.”

Squall turned back and faced the snow queen. Her face was soft and beautiful, kind and gentle. It was nothing like the face of tanned skin, bright green eyes and smug smirk that more often than not, hung from talented lips. He knew she wasn’t lying when she said he didn’t need protection, but it wasn’t security he needed Seifer for.

“I love him.” He told her, “If I have to spend eternity in hell after a lifetime with Seifer, then I’m still willing to trade for it.”

Snow Queen smiled sadly and ran her hand through her silver strands. “It never hurts to try, I guess.” She looked up and the landscape disappeared before them. “Even if I knew you’d always choose him over me.”

Back in the grey plains, a black doorway opened from the fabric of empty space. She bent down and kissed his forehead. “Good luck, sweet cub. He’s just beyond that door.” There was a soft nudge on his back as the Snow Queen pushed him through the portal. When he turned around, she was waving and the doorway closed behind him. Pitch blackness swallowed him whole. Squall closed his eyes, knowing the next time he opened them, Seifer would be before him.

OOOOOOO

“Stupid prick. Wake up! You can’t do this!”

The brunette was limp in his arms. Unmoving to the cry of his anguish. There was a whimpered sob of a girl behind him, muffled in Laguna’s arms. They told him it was too late, Squall had lost too much blood. They said he’ll never wake up so it was better to let him go. That was hours ago and now was the moment. But Seifer couldn’t pull the plug without trying for the last time. Somewhere inside, Squall was still alive. His body might not be able to breath on its own but he knew Squall was still here.

“Come on, baby. Just open your eyes and look at me.”

He coaxed, threatened and begged for all he was worth, but nothing caused a stir in the pale body. There was a hand on his shoulder and a voice asking him to grieve and let go. He shook off the hand roughly and renewed his pleas.

Hours later, Seifer was sitting on the bed still holding Squall in his arms, but his cries had died long time ago. “Wait for me, okay?” He whispered, kissing the soft lips and reached for the ventilator. He knew the switch to flick, Selphie showed him before they were left alone.

With one last swish, the pump stalled to a stop. Blood slowed beneath his fingers with the slowing thump of Squall’s heart. It echoed in his ears, loud and weakening. Hushing even his own sobs of agony. His heart was clutched in the iron grip of anguish. He wanted to scream, to cry, to raise a hateful fist at the heavens until it bled as much as he was bleeding now. Because nothing, could ever replace what he was losing in his embrace. The last flame of life burnt out. The room suddenly plunging into loud silence with the constant drone of machines.

Squall had died.

“I love you, Squall. Always. Forever. I won’t forget you. Never. I’ll still love you next time. And I won’t let you go again.”

The beep dragged into a single long tone. He buried his head in the cooling body and sobbed silently. He just killed the one he loved most and no one will ever be able to filled the hole Squall left him with. He was broken with a lifetime of pain to look forward to.

“…Seifer…”

OOOOOO

“No, you put the tail in the second loop not the first….I can’t breath….ouch!”

“Stupid thing!” Squall glared at the offending piece of material he’d thrown to the floor. Who thought the idea of wearing a bit of fabric around one’s neck as a formal accessory anyway? “I can’t do it!”

Seifer picked the squirming piece of silk from the floor and stuffed it back into Squall’s hands. “Try it again, just be patient.”

Squall gave a frustrating grind of his teeth and started the complicated knotting. It struck him more than once the differences between the two of them. Seifer having grown up surrounded by servants and private tutors who taught more than knowledge from the books. He’d grown up worrying about the next meal for Ellone and himself. Seifer could tie a double Windsor without a mirror and Squall could last five days without food. They were a sky apart, it made Squall wonder how they stayed together.

“Don’t you think we’re really far apart?” He asked, remembering about the second loop. Seifer looked at him in confusion. “I don’t mean physical distance. Just the distance between your life and mine.” He stilled his hands when Seifer grabbed them. Holding them and threading their fingers together.

“I know the distance between us.” A kiss to the left hand, “But it’s getting smaller, isn’t it?” And a kiss to the right.

He didn’t have any words to reply so he kissed the blonde instead. It’s a long road before they’re on equal grounds, but there’s plenty of time left to discovered each other. Squall smiled.

“Yeah. It is.”


Fin.

Well, that’s it folks. It’s been a long time coming and I’d like to thank EVERYONE who’ve read the story, made comments and encouraged me to actually finish it. This last update took ages, too much procrastination on my part as to how I should end it. I know it’s labelled as a tragedy, but just couldn’t do it. I know it’s generic and very mediocre but hey, we all need a little happiness in our lives. And yeah, you guessed it, all you guys out there made my life that little happier.

Anyway, if you’re wondering about perhaps some IrvinexZell. I did write a very short chapter on that. Since it literally had nothing to do with the story and is in actual fact a PWP, I wasn’t too certain if I should post it. However, if you would like to read it, tell me and I’ll post it up.

Thanks again everyone! Working on some Naruto smut currently. Maybe I’ll post it up when I have at least a few chapters.

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