Living in Darkness

Chapter 11
Decision

Cloud stood from one of the many pews that filled the chapel, looking around one last time before he made his exit. In the past few days he had stayed there in the sacred place, only going outside to ride the Fenrir, passing the hours while his mind struggled over his conflicting emotions. This holy place that he had spent so many days and nights in before the death of the planet had helped him with his resolve. He would never see the church again, but he felt no regrets. All the time in the world, but his deadline for decision was up. He had an answer for Sephiroth, and it was time to give it to him.

He gunned the Fenrir to life, and he sped off at high speed to return to the mansion. His mind and soul felt free as he rode toward whatever his destiny may be. At the speed he was traveling, it didn't take long before he saw his destination on the horizon. Whatever future awaited him would start and end there in that place that he had spent his time with Jenova's son. He picked up the speed of his ride, eager to face the 'God' and his deadly intentions.

Cloud could feel Sephiroth's eyes on him before he even looked up to see him staring down from a high window. He kept his expression emotionless, giving nothing away as he got off the bike. Sephiroth wasn't even trying to enter his thoughts. Hearing the words from his own mouth is what Sephiroth wanted. He kept his blade sheathed as he entered the home he had shared with his captor turned lover.

Sephiroth was in the library again, standing in wait when Cloud opened the door. "Well, Cloud. Have you an answer for me?" Cloud unsheathed his sword with unnatural speed, and Masamune was out with just as much swiftness. Blades met between the two powerful men, neither of them making another move to attack. A hint of disappointment was evident on Sephiroth's face, and his eyes, usually so full of power and wickedness, held a trace of sadness. "Cloud.."

"Everything I've ever known and cared about has been taken from me. Every time I had a chance to be happy, it was ripped away," Cloud said with slow determination, looking deeply into those green eyes as he spoke. "I don't want to lose anything else.....I don't want to lose you." His blade fell from his grasp to land on the floor between them, and a slow smile of delight graced Sephiroth's lips, his own weapon joining the other on the floor.

Sephiroth came to him in his graceful way, and Cloud crushed his lips against his in a kiss that was emotionally charged. It was full of lust, passion, and an intense hunger from being away from his silver haired lover for the past few days. The loneliness had nearly destroyed him in that flicker of time and he never wanted to leave Sephiroth's side again, never wanted to betray the man that he had fallen in love with.

"I've sold my soul and damned myself forever, but I don't care anymore," Cloud rasped between kisses, clinging to the man with a desperation that was staggering.

"Then you truly belong to me," Sephiroth growled, fiery lust filling his eyes before he deepened the kiss to stop anymore conversation. It was time to welcome his lover home properly, and too much of that time had been wasted in those few days as far as Sephiroth was concerned. He backed Cloud to the large leather couch and they lay down together, Sephiroth covering his body with his weight as they continued to kiss feverishly in the heat of the moment.

He took Cloud's bottom lips between his teeth, nibbling lightly before he let it go to trail kisses down his chin to the taunt skin of his neck. His tongue flicked out, lapping at his adam's apple, tasting him, savoring the salty taste of his sweat. The blonde lay his head further back, inviting his lover without words to explore his flesh as he wished. Soft, needy moans passed Cloud's lips, and his body trembled when Sephiroth ravaged ever inch of exposed skin he could find with his lips and tongue, trailing to the spot under his ear that made him squirm with pleasure. He had missed this feeling, missed this touch. 'Why did I even leave?' His breath hitched when his straining erection was rubbed against Sephiroth's own growing hardness, the barrier of clothing making Cloud growl low with frustration.

They were both still fully clothed and Cloud tugged at his lover's coat in earnest. He groaned, feeling helpless with lust when his wrists were pinned above his head in a strong grip to prevent him from getting at the body he so desperately wanted. It was sweet torture and his back arched upward, writhing against the man holding him down with a gentle, but firm pressure.

"You have so much fire within you, Cloud," Sephiroth breathed before slowly tracing his tongue over Cloud's parted lips. He moved his head up, begging to be kissed without words, but Sephiroth pulled away just far enough to keep Cloud's sensually pouty lips at bay. "I need to hear you say it. Tell me you will be there with me. Tell me you will share in the power. Tell me you will help me crush all who stand in our way."

"Yes, all of it," Cloud murmured mournfully, only wanting to taste his lover's lips and feel his strong, nude body moving against him.

"Say it," Sephiroth purred with unrelenting insistence, moving his hips just enough to tease the blonde's confined erection. Cloud shuddered with the torment of it, groaning with pained need for his lover who would continue to refuse him until his demands were met.

"I'll be there with you. I'll share in the power. And I will help you crush all who stand in our way," Cloud said with strong conviction. A deep kiss was his reward and he sucked on the slick, warm tongue that entered his mouth. He strained to get his wrists free from the hold on them, but Sephiroth would not relinquish his grip. "I want to touch you," Cloud said, gasping as he broke the kiss.

"Be patient. I had to be while I waited for you to come back to me, Cloud." He smirked at the lust filled anguish on the blonde's face. Sephiroth moved Cloud's wrists closer together, holding them down with one hand while the other moved back down to caresses his face with feather light touches. "You're perfection," he praised the man beneath him, tracing his lips with his fingertips. Cloud kissed them as they brushed past, relaxing under the weight of his lover in submission.

Sephiroth moved back in to resume the kiss, teasing Cloud's lips apart with the tip of his tongue, and he opened up with no resistance. Cloud moaned with the kiss that was slow and thorough as his lover's tongue caressed the depths of his mouth, it's slick heat seeming to glide over every crevice it could find. It left him breathless, and when Sephiroth pulled away to trail lush kissed along his neck he was breathing harshly through parted lips. His entire body felt like it was flushed with heat, and every touch from his lover was sending ripples of pleasure through his nerves.

Cloud's eyes closed as he enjoyed the attention he was being given, and he felt his shirt being unzipped and pushed aside with a gentle hand. The straps of his sword harness were in the way, but it didn't hinder the man above him. Sephiroth still held his wrists above his head as he explored his body with the other. The blonde bit down on his lip to hold back a sharp cry when fingers lightly twisted one of his nipples. Moist heat replaced it as Sephiroth rolled his tongue around the hard nub, suckling softly with a moan of satisfaction.

"Sephiroth," he whispered, cracking open his eyes to watch his lover lavish his chest. Green eyes rimmed with lust looked back as the pleasurable ministrations continued. "More," Cloud begged, licking his lips that felt dry from the rapid breaths he was taking. Teeth lightly scraped him when Sephiroth smiled against his chest. The blonde hissed with pleasure when those teeth nibbled playfully at his skin.

"I love when you beg," Sephiroth said, his voice low and guttural with seduction. Cloud swallowed thickly, wondering if it would come to that. Being forced to beg for the gratification that he was aching for. A twisted excitement shot through him at the prospect. Sephiroth brought out this perverse side of him that he never knew existed. Even being held down was more arousing than he could have thought possible.

Sephiroth went back to kissing along his chest, moving lower down Cloud's body, his tongue leaving a wet trail and his teeth leaving small patches of red skin from the love bites he was lavishing him with. If he went any further, he would have to set Cloud's wrists free, and Sephiroth teased him by staying in the same spot just above his abs. His chuckle was low when he heard Cloud whimper, the frustration driving him closer to the brink of animal lust.

Cloud held back a curse, willing himself not to crack under the leisure toying of his emotions by his lover. His mind held firm, but his body refused to cooperate as his hips bucked wantonly beneath Sephiroth in invitation. The hand holding him tightened with pressure, but not painfully as Sephiroth slid back up his body, a wicked smile on his devilishly handsome face.

"So eager, Cloud. It seems I can't deny you," he said, letting Cloud's wrists free to undress the blonde with gentle hands, starting with the straps of his sword harness. Soon there were no barriers left between them, a forgotten pile of discarded boots, clothing and belts on the floor.

"I'm sorry I left," Cloud whispered, running his finger through silver hair as he placed kisses along his lover's neck. He sighed softly and pulled Cloud closer, inviting the blonde to explore his body. He took that invitation with great enthusiasm, running his hands over Sephiroth's body in worship, enjoying the feel of his lover's muscled physique. "Lay back," Cloud urged softy, switching positions with his partner until he was on top. Sephiroth gazed up at him with a soft smirk, giving him that look that said 'do what you want.'

Cloud moved down his body, kissing and caressing softly over his warm skin until he reached his erection. He ran his fingers up along the underside of the thick shaft, looking up to see Sephiroth's expression as he did. What he saw was lust, desire and love. 'He does love me.' Keeping his eyes locked to his lover's, Cloud rolled his tongue around the head of the cock he was softly stroking. The lowest moan escaped his lips, his breath coming faster as his chest heaved rhythmically in response to the pleasure he was receiving.

"Mine forever," Sephiroth murmured with unchaste possessiveness. Those words that would make Cloud wary, now filled him with unbridled lust for the man who spoke them. He did belong to Sephiroth, and Sephiroth belonged to him. He doubled his efforts on his lover's shaft to show him how strongly he felt about his affections. He graced his cock with slow rolls of his tongue, massaging him inch by inch as his hand fisted the base of his shaft. His green eyed lover indulge himself with the sensations, writhing erotically with a deep moan that heightened Cloud's own arousal. He pulled his mouth away with a shaky breath, looking at Sephiroth with deep longing, his hand working rhythmically on his organ.

"I want you," Cloud said, then put his mouth back around Sephiroth's cock, taking it all, slicking up the shaft with a slick coat of his saliva in preparation for what he wanted. Sephiroth, sensing what his lover was going to do, growled lustfully as he pulled Cloud back up his body, sitting up so Cloud could straddle his lap. His long fingers teased his anal opening, that was already puckered and ready, and he shifted until the head of his slick erection brushed that aroused bundle of nerves. Sephiroth thrust up gently as Cloud lowered himself down on his shaft.

Cloud let out the breath that he had been holding, mewling softly with the sensation of his lover filling him completely. He couldn't move for a moment, reveling in the intimacy that they were sharing. Sephiroth hugged him closer as his hips pumped beneath him, thrusting gently inside him with soft strokes. He murmured words of encouragement to the blonde as he finally started to slowly ride his shaft, his legs wrapping tighter around his body to keep him in place. Cloud rested his arms on strong shoulders, laying his head back with a gratified moan. Sephiroth's slick tongue and full lips teased his neck as they thrust rhythmically against each other.

"Show me how much you missed me, Cloud," he breathed, putting one hand on Cloud's back to give him more support, his other encircling the neglected cock that was between their sweat glistened bodies. The blonde let out a hitched cry, moving faster atop his lover to increase the sensual friction. "We'll be unstoppable. Nothing will get in our way," Sephiroth growled, thrusting harder inside the tight warmth that gripped him. He heard a breathy moan that sounded like a 'yes', and he pumped even harder as Cloud ground roughly against his pelvis.

Cloud felt himself getting closer as Sephiroth's fist worked his shaft with insistent jerks, each thrust of his lover's cock pounding his prostate so hard that he couldn't stop crying out with the building pleasure. Sephiroth's own moans of ecstasy filled his ears as their bodies moved deliciously together in the throes of their passion.

"Come for me," he said with a low, seductive growl, tightening his grip on Cloud's shaft. Moaning louder than before, Cloud thrust his hands into silver hair, pulling it roughly as his seed spilled forth, coating his lover's hand with it's thick warmth.

"I love you," Cloud cried, letting all his emotions out in that moment of rapture, not stopping until Sephiroth's own climax washed through him, his seed spending inside Cloud's tightening walls. Trembling, Cloud closed his eyes, clinging to the man in the afterglow of their lovemaking. It wasn't just sex anymore, it never would be again.

I love you too.., he heard within his mind, smiling softly, content with Sephiroth not speaking the words aloud for now.

~*~*~*~*~*

Sephiroth looked out across the landscape of the new planet from the high cliff where he stood with a twisted smile of anticipation. The destruction would soon begin, all falling before his feet with cries of mercy, but those pleas would go unheeded. He turned to look at his lover's face that was free of any emotion except for a cold determination as he looked off into that same distance. His blonde love was a beautiful sight to behold, the fierceness of his blue eyed stare sharp like the blade he carried on his back. Cloud turned his head to acknowledge his lovers gaze. Only then did his mako blue eyes soften.

"Are you ready to grasp our destiny, Cloud?" he asked, caressing his cheek with his fingertips as he spoke. The blonde warrior leaned into the touch with a small smile, his eyes glowing with intensity.

"I am," he answered with no hesitation.

"Then lets take what is ours."

The screams where as Sephiroth said they would be, and a few unpleasant memories swept through Cloud's mind with the cries of terror and pain, but he soon became indifferent to it, even enjoying the mournful sound. The power was incredible and he let himself swim in it, pulling the energy into his body with the slow death of this new world. Now he could truly see why Sephiroth needed to continue his path of destruction. The power was just too great to stop now. Very few tried to stand in their way, and those that did suffered a more tortuous death than those that just gave in without a fight.

In the end this new planet was as dead as the last. The only life left was their own as they stood on its desolate ground, the sky going dark as the light and hope left forever. They made love under that pitch blackness, creating their own light while celebrating their victory and new found strength.

"This is only the beginning of our destiny, Cloud," Sephiroth promised him while they held each other as they come down from the euphoria of their coupling. "Nothing can ever stand in our way."

"I know," Cloud said, not doubting his lover's words, having a true feeling of contentment for the first time in his life. This happiness could never be taken away from him like so many times before. If living in darkness was what he had to do to be happy, so be it. And God help anyone who tired to take it away from him ever again.


THE END

A/N: Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. How could you have it end that way? How could you have Cloud turn evil? How? Because it's my story, and this is the way I intended it to end from the beginning. It was meant to be dark and disturbing, mixed in with a kind of twisted love story. It just goes to show that you can't control who you fall in love with.

What planet did they destroy do you ask? In my own mind it was the Final Fantasy 9 world. I hated that game and the characters with a passion, but you can make it any of the FF worlds you want it to be.

At one point, and I won't say why here, I considered doing two alternate endings to this story, but in the end I changed my mind. If any of you are interested, here are what the other two endings would have been...


Alternate ending 1: Cloud would have tried to fight Sephiroth once again, and fail to save the new planet he wants to destroy. Breaking his promise, Sephiroth would resort to rape, and it would have been very brutal, so brutal that I don't know if I would have been able to write it. He would continue to force Cloud to stay with him against his will.

Alternate ending 2: While staying in the chapel, Aeris visits Cloud. Yes, Aeris. Even though she wasn't able to save the planet this time, or even the lifestream, she was able to take all that died to a kind of Heaven, including all his friends. She gives Cloud something to help him defeat Sephiroth for good. Even though it pains him to do so, because he's in love with him, he kills Sephiroth. In the end Cloud joins Aeris and the others for eternity.

Personally, I like my ending the best. The first alternate was too brutal, and the second was too sappy for the particular flow of this story.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this twisted love story. It has been one of my personal favorites to write. Thank you all who gave such nice reviews. I appreciate you all. I'm just too damn lazy to thank each of you separately. *Hugs*

**Squallfan**