Wrong?

It was definitely interesting, if nothing else, to watch Tidus while he watched his father's sphere. Auron had been determined to show it to him, knowing it would be good for him, but hesitant because he truly had no idea how Tidus would react. He was a bit surprised at how non-hostile the boy was. It was still rather obvious he felt no love for the man who sired him, but it seemed that some of the intense hate for him had diminished. It was enough that it made Auron want to push his luck.

"Jecht loved you. He just didn't know how to express it, he said." *And dear Yevon, he really didn't express it well, did he?*

The brat's reaction was typical to that of any seventeen year old boy, he got a bit embarrassed and flustered, said the usual 'gimme a break', that he didn't want to talk about it. But there was no real anger, not like Auron had been expecting. Then when he started to walk away, he heard the boy say in a more serious tone, "Thanks... but... I think I was already starting to realize that."

Auron paused glancing over his shoulder. This wasn't at all what he'd expected to happen.

"I mean," the boy continued softly, "he's still a stupid drunk. And I'm still mad at him... but I know he must have cared at least a little." He looked up then, blue eyes shining with something Auron couldn't really place, a small, serene smile on his lips. "After all, he sent me you, so he must have cared, right? He couldn't have sent me anything better."

That flutter in Auron's chest started up again; it had been doing that a lot lately. He stared at the boy in front of him and was suddenly struck with the rather violent urge to kiss him. How could he resist it when he was looking at him with that soft expression, saying such sweet, adorable things. He was standing directly in front of the boy before he knew it, had moved so fast the boy jerked back a bit in surprise, but the smile returned then, the same as before. Auron reached out a hand, ready to cup his face and bring him closer... wait. This was not a good idea.

He wanted to start slowly making moves on Tidus, Rikku had made that clear for him not long ago, he had come to a personal decision that he was going to go for it... but should he really be doing it now, when the boy was having problems with his 'habit' as Auron had decided to call it? Wouldn't that just confuse him and send mixed signals? If he tried to help Tidus get over this and then turned around and started making moves on him, that would be confusing for anyone, right? Even if he didn't just want sex from the brat, wanted something more, it would still involve sex to some degree, because that's what a relationship ended up being. And to ask the brat to handle both new developments at once... wasn't that throwing too much at him too fast? In the end wouldn't that just be a hindrance to his recovery?

He didn't know really, he would have to think about it all in more detail. But right now he was standing in front of the brat with his hand outstretched and not actually doing anything; Tidus was starting to give him an odd look. Shit, he had to do something with his hand. Maybe he should just stroke his cheek? No, too much, don't touch the face. The head, go for the head. Pat him on the head like always, that's normal. That's right, keep it normal. Or should he be just a bit more intimate?

The result was something that couldn't be called patting or stroking. It couldn't really be called anything other than petting the boy's hair, very much the way you would a cat, and it was incredibly strange when you did it to a person. Tidus didn't seem to care one way or the other, because he leaned into Auron's touch, smile still in place, making Auron want to kiss him all over again.

With a grunt, the older man turned away quickly, afraid that if he stayed like that too long he'd do something he'd later regret. For now, until he sorted everything out, he should keep physical contact to a minimum. But regardless, he had to sort this out fast. It had been several days since he'd last talked with Tidus, and he wanted to continue soon. It wasn't like he had all the time in the world. His problem was that he could really use some advice on all of this before he proceeded in the wrong way and messed everything up. Emotions really weren't his thing, he needed help and didn't know who to ask.

Silently, he surveyed his travel companions through dark glasses. Most of them were out automatically, and he didn't spare them a second glance. Rikku... Rikku had given him excellent advice before, but he didn't think she would be able to help him this time. As useful as her knowledge on love had been, that wasn't what he needed help with now; now the topic was much darker and it required more... experience. As wise as she'd proven to be, Rikku was still a child, and something like helping Tidus with his 'habit' would probably be a little over her head. She'd likely end up running to him and yelling something like 'Poor, Tiddy!' and trying to hug it all better. That might work for a regular problem, but this wasn't regular. This was a deep-seated disaster waiting to happen, and it couldn't be looked at so simply. He needed someone who would understand that. And that naturally only left one person. He just hoped she'd be willing to hear him out.

***

The group reached a small inn a little before dark, glad for the reprieve from sleeping on the ground. They were only about two days from Macalania Temple and tensions were running a bit high, though no one actually said a word about Seymour or marriage. Yuna asked for some rooms, finding they had four left, and she smiled saying that was perfect. It was thrown off a bit when a very red-faced Wakka said abashedly that he and Lulu wouldn't mind sharing a room, while said woman smirked at his embarrassment.

Yuna giggled and said it was fine but then, "Oh, so I guess... um... maybe Kimahri should go with Tidus and I'll go with Rikku?"

Kimahri said nothing, but he didn't seem too keen on this idea. Everyone knew he tried to be at Yuna's side as much as he possibly could, and the thought of sleeping elsewhere, even if it was just down the hall, didn't sit well with him.

Rikku, who was on Tidus' back at the moment and steadily making her way up to sit on his shoulders, glanced up from her task with a simple, "Don't worry, Yunie, me and Tidus can share," before resuming her climb.

Yuna didn't look like that sat too well with her, based on the frown that instantly appeared. "You two? That's not exactly... appropriate..." Even Wakka and Lulu looked a little uncomfortable with the arrangement.

Rikku didn't even look up this time when she giggled and said, "Really, it's nota problem," while Tidus blushed a bit and said nothing, working on keeping his balance while the girl had one leg thrown over his shoulder. Rikku had no qualms about sharing with Tidus because whether he was a guy or not really didn't matter in this case. She could dance naked in front of him with her chest shoved in his face, and he'd just watch on with a bored expression. There was absolutely no chance he would try and ogle her in the shower or something. And if she happened to catch a glimpse of him, big deal, she'd seen a naked man before, and it still certainly wouldn't lead anywhere.

Yuna's frown grew, and small wrinkles appeared across her forehead and between her eyes. "Why not?"

Instantly, Rikku froze, realizing what she'd just said. Tidus was gay, so it wasn't a problem, but Yuna didn't know he was gay. Yuna didn't even suspect he was gay. But now... oh fudge, why did she have to go and open her big mouth? How many times had Pops told her to think before she spoke?

Auron watched all of this, not sure whether or not to be amused. It was fun to watch Rikku squirm, but Yuna was getting upset now; and Tidus didn't realize anything was wrong, so he wasn't going to fix it. With an inward sigh, he straightened a bit and grumbled, "Tidus can share with me."

Rikku saw the opportunity and pounced on it. With a childlike cry of glee, she pumped her fist in the air. "I get my own room? Score!" And she prayed everyone bought it. Maybe they would just think she didn't mind sharing with Tidus before because she was too 'innocent' to realize whyit was inappropriate. Wakka seemed to go along with it, Lulu still looked Tidus over suspiciously, and Yuna... Rikku actually didn't know what Yuna was thinking, but she still didn't look particularly happy. Shit.

An hour or so later after everyone had settled into their respective rooms, relaxed, and cleaned up, a soft knock was heard on Wakka and Lulu's door. The black mage answered, expecting Yuna or Rikku or possibly even Tidus. She did not expect to see Auron standing there, looking rather... apprehensive. "Sir Auron."

He gave her a polite nod before tensing a bit. Yes, definitely apprehensive. "May I speak with you please? In private?"

Lulu was more than a little surprised by the request, but she masked her emotions well. "Of course. It's a beautiful night. Shall we step outside?"

Another stiff nod, and she called over her shoulder to Wakka that she was taking a walk. She then strode next to the red-coated legend, keeping up surprisingly well with his long strides. Once outside he paused, staring at the stars for at least a minute. Lulu said nothing, knowing he was preparing himself for... something. She had no idea what, but whatever was going on this was clearly difficult for him. Finally he said quietly, "I'm afraid I need to ask for your advice. It's rather important, but it entails a long story and... it's not all particularly pleasant. If you would be so inclined, I ask that you listen and try not to judge too harshly. At least not of him."

Lulu blinked, startled a bit by the longest string of words she'd ever heard the man put together. He needed advice. And he didn't want her to judge too harshly of a 'him' that she could only assume must be Tidus. This was... she didn't even know what this was. Interesting? Maybe. "If you need some advice I'm always more than willing to give it. I'll listen."

He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and nodded, shutting his eyes. No part of him wanted to relay any of this to anyone, but he knew he had to. As much as it pained him, he needed some help.

***

Rikku left her room, which she found she was rather happy to have to herself, and skipped down the hall, humming softly. "Yunie!" she called brightly, rapping on her cousin's door. "Come out and play!"

Only seconds later, the door swung open, and Rikku involuntarily took a step back faced with the presence that was Kimahri. It happened every time she wasn't expecting him somewhere. She knew he was harmless and would never hurt her, but he just seemed to secrete commanding power and it always startled her. The same thing happened when Auron snuck up on her, and she knew he was just a big scarred softie. "Hello, Kimahri. Is Yunie here?" Stupid question, if Yuna hadn't been there Kimahri wouldn't have either, but it was the polite thing to say rather than just barging in the room, right?

The Ronso gave her a curt nod, stepping back and letting her inside. She skipped in, grinning more when she saw her cousin sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Yunie, let's go look around. It's so boring just sitting here, y'know?"

Yuna said nothing, didn't even lift her eyes from where they were burning holes into the floor. Rikku shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling uneasy. Yuna was acting very strange. Finally the summoner, glanced up and said softly, "Kimahri, would you go into the hall please?"

She was obeyed instantly, and Rikku unconsciously played with the hem of her shirt. This was very, very strange. "Yunie?"

"How could you, Rikku?"

Well, that was a bit unexpected. "What?"

"How could you do that?" Yuna looked up at her with the most hurt expression the young Al Bhed had ever seen. "You knew I liked him, I told you. If you... if you already had... something, then you just should have told me. I would have accepted it graciously enough. I would have been happy for you. Why did you..." She trailed off and looked away, unable to say anymore over the painful lump in her throat.

Rikku truly didn't know what the hell was going on. "Yuna? What do you mean? I don't understand."

Bi-colored eyes shot back up to her, and they were... angry. Dear Yevon, Yuna was angry. At her. She'd never seen Yuna angry at anything before. What had she done?

"If you and Tidus were already an item why didn't you just say so?!"

Oh. Wait, what? "You think... me and..." Rikku laughed. She truly couldn't help herself, she laughed hysterically at what her big, stupid mouth had brought on.

"I'm glad you find it all so amusing," Yuna snapped, looking seconds away from bursting into tears. "It must have been hilarious when I confessed my feelings for him. Did you get a good laugh at that too?"

The laughter immediately died on Rikku's lips. Yuna was really upset, and for a good reason if she thought her cousin had been making fun of her this whole time. "Yunie, no, you don't understand."

"Oh, I understand just fine, thanks." She took a deep breath, burrying her face in her hands, trying to calm down. "Rikku, please just go. I want to be alone for a while."

Rikku actually started to obey but stopped. She couldn't just go, not when Yuna still had the completely wrong idea. "Yunie, please just listen. Listen and then I'll go, promise."

Yuna said nothing, but her eyes slowly peeked out from between splayed fingers.

Rikku sighed a bit in relief. "Tidus and I are not together. Not at all. Not now, not ever. Okay?"

"You're lying."

Teeth clenched tightly at that. "I am not!"

The summoner suddenly stood from her bed, decidedly angry again. "Then why do you seem so guilty?!"

Silence followed. Guilty? Rikku was guilty? She actually had to stop and think about it. Yeah, she did feel guilty, Yuna was right. But it certainly wasn't for any of the reasons Yuna expected. She felt guilty because she probably should have told Yuna the truth about the blond blitzplayer from the beginning. Since she hadn't, it was now causing all kinds of problems. It was getting Yuna upset, and that's exactly what she'd been trying to avoid in the first place. Furthermore, it felt like she was lying. Even if Yuna claimed she'd never attempt to have anything between Tidus and herself, Rikku still felt like she was giving her cousin false hope. She should have just told Yuna about Tidus' orientation initially, then all of this would have been avoided. So yes, she did feel guilty.

"Yunie, you're right, but you're reasons aren't, y'know?" She sighed, rubbing her temples in a very un-Rikku like way. "Look, I'm sorry I lied to you. I'll tell you the truth now."

***

Lulu examined the moon partially hidden by the clouds in the sky. Her mind was slowly analyzing everything she'd just been told, trying to make it all piece together. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting when the red-clad man had asked her to listen and help him, but it certainly hadn't been anything like what she'd just heard. Hell, she could barely believe what she'd just heard. It was easy to tell the boy had some insecurity issues, but...

A shift of feet next to her reminded her sharply that Auron was still standing there, patiently waiting for her to sort out her thoughts. She tore her gaze from the beige orb, sharp eyes focussing on one peering above dark glass. She took a slow, deep breath, trying to think of something to say. "Well..." Great, that was intelligent.

Auron cleared his throat, looking away a bit. "I'm sorry to burden you. If you don't want to--"

"No no, it's all right," the dark-haired woman cut in quickly, holding up a hand to stop him. "I'm just taking everything in."

He swallowed rather hard, focusing on the spot above her left shoulder. "You're not... disgusted?"

That surprised the woman. She narrowed her eyes a bit, taking in the man in front of her. "Are you?"

"Of course not!"

The vehemence in his voice just surprised her more, but then she smiled a bit. "I didn't think so. Neither am I." She leaned back against the building behind her, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "As far as his homosexuality goes, I suspected it already. After what Rikku said with the rooms earlier, I was pretty much certain. She may have fooled Wakka, but I know she's not that much of a child..." She waved her hand absently, knowing she was getting off topic. "As soon as I thought it a possibility back when I first met him, I found myself truly thinking it over. I know it goes against the teachings, and I myself would never indulge in such a blasphemous act; but I've no right to tell others not to. Their disregard of Yevon is their own business, and it's not my place to call or judge them on it. It's the same way I've always felt about the Al Bhed and their machina."

Auron nearly sighed in relief. It was refreshing, especially in Spira, to meet someone with such a level-headed, open outlook.

"Then if you meant am I disgusted by his problem, my answer is the same as yours." One thin, dark brown raised slightly. "As far as I'm concerned, he's ill. I don't mean he's crazy," she added quickly, noting the uncomfortable shift in Auron's stance, "I mean it just like I said. It may be very different from a physical illness, but an illness of the mind can be even more devastating. And just like a physical illness, it needs to be healed, the same way you'd heal a broken bone or a fever." She smiled. "But you already know that. That's why you came to me, isn't it? You don't know how to heal him yourself."

The big man nodded. "I've already messed up enough. I don't want to cause anymore harm."

The eyebrow rose higher. Auron had just admitted to making a mistake? She knew the man would apologize if it was truly called for, he wasn't overly prideful, but... for him to actually voice that he'd 'messed up'? He must truly care for the blond boy. "I wouldn't say you did anything wrong. More like you just didn't do anything right either."

Auron very pointedly looked away this time, steeling himself for what he had to say next. "There's a bit more I need to tell you."

"Oh?"

***

Tidus wandered down the hall, annoyed at Wakka for having fallen asleep immediately after they'd reached the inn. The blond found himself with an excess amount of energy that evening, and he'd been hoping to wear it off by indulging in a few rounds of blitz. But no, a certain red-head had to be exhausted from playing with his scary girlfriend all night. Bastard. So now he was looking for Rikku, hoping she could figure out something for them to do. Because dammit, Tidus was bored.

He was about to knock on Rikku's door, when he heard the yelling from the room next to it. His angel's room. And that could only mean that Yuna was fighting with someone. Upon closer inspection of the sound, it was obviously Rikku. Startled, he was about to knock once again when the door flew open and an irate, little Al Bhed came storming out. She shot a menacing glare his way, then immediately softened her features when she saw who it was. "Tidus."

Before he could even say hello, the girl threw her arms around his waist in a crushing hug. "I like you exactly as you are!"

The boy blinked. "Okay. Thank you, Rikku."

She didn't say anything else, just walked off, retreating to her own room and shutting the door with much more force than necessary. Tidus stared after her for a moment, before directing his gaze towards the now open doorway of Yuna's room instead. "Hey," he said softly, crossing the threshold. "What happened? You okay?"

The summoner was standing with her back to him, but he could see by the stiffness of her shoulders how tense and angry she was. This worried him, seeing as how Yuna rarely ever got angry. The fight with Rikku must really have bothered her. "Yuna? What's wrong?"

Yuna's small hands slowly clenched into fists and she turned to face him, mismatched eyes steely and hard. "You're homosexual."

Blue eyes blinked and a blond head cocked to the side slightly, eyebrows raising. "Yeah, I'm gay." Had she not known that before? Rikku had, that's why she'd been okay with sharing a room with him. Oh, so that's why Yuna had said it wouldn't be appropriate, she'd thought he was straight. But that was getting off topic. Why was she bringing this up when he'd asked what was wrong? He wanted to know what had made her so angry so he could fix it, but then she'd said... wait... "Is that a... problem?"

"You lied."

/“You lied to me, you fucking faggot!”/

"W-what?" Tidus shook his head slowly, trying to figure out what was going on. "No, I didn't--"

"Homosexuality is a crime against Yevon," she continued, her voice steadily rising. "You've been travelling on a holy pilgrimage and committing blasphemies the entire time. How could you do that to me?"

He continued to shake his head. He didn't understand. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

"How could you lie to me like that?!"

*Lie?* "I... I didn't lie... I..." He took a few careful steps forward, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder. He needed physical contact, to reassure both her and himself. "Yuna--"

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, slapping the offending appendage away from her. "You've been committing crimes against Yevon on my pilgrimage!"

Tidus flinched, cradling his hand to his chest and looking very much like a scared, small child. "But... but Rikku... she's Al Bhed. She uses machina..." He trailed off, not sure what to say.

"At least Rikku never lied to me! And at least Rikku isn't... dirty!"

Tidus flinched again, harder this time, and stepped back unconsciously. *Dirty? She thinks I'm dirty?* "What do you mean?"

"You sleep with other men!" she cried, eyes wide, like she couldn't believe he didn't know. "That's... it's just... disgusting!"

The pain inside Tidus' chest spilled over at her words. She thought he was dirty. His angel, one of the most important people in the world to him, thought he was disgusting. "Yuna..."

She turned her back to him. "Leave."

He froze, eyes bright with unshed tears, cradled hand now fisting the fabric of his shirt. "What?"

"You heard me. Leave. Don't come near me anymore. I can't risk your sins ruining my pilgrimage."

Tidus couldn't answer. Tidus couldn't even breathe properly. He slowly took a few steps backward, staring at her like he couldn't believe what he'd heard, then abruptly turned and started to run away. He smacked hard into a furry wall and blinked up at Kimahri, wondering vaguely if he'd been standing there the whole time. "Sorry," he muttered hurriedly, taking off again, too afraid to even glance back. The silent Ronso watched his retreat, internally frowning and startled by his tears.

***

"I see." The mage's eyes were on the moon once again, only this time she was far more surprised than the first. By this point, she was far more surprised than she thought possible. "You... like him."

"Yes."

She nodded, playing with the cuff of her sleeve in a way she hadn't done since she was child. "You love him."

"Yes." The man answered without hesitation. He'd come to terms with it, he knew it was the truth.

She nodded again. "That complicates things a bit."

"I know."

Lulu pursed her lips before bringing her thumb to her mouth and biting the nail a bit, thinking hard. This actually complicated things a lot. "What's more important to you?" She finally turned her gaze to the big man. "Helping him or... winning him?"

"Helping him."

Again he answered with no hesitation and the woman smiled. It really was love, not lust, if he was putting Tidus' needs before his own. Good. "If helping him is most important, then I suggest you keep your romantic advances at bay. At least for the time being. Once he starts to heal, you can continue your pursuits. Until then, they would only hinder the process."

Auron nodded. That's what he'd thought, but he hadn't really been sure. "So what should I do?"

She bit her nail again and was silent for a moment, going over everything once more in her head. "You said you managed to get him to talk before, right?"

An affirmative grunt. "A few nights ago. It wasn't much, but it was a start at least."

"That's good." More chewing, more silence, then, "I think the best thing to do would be to keep getting him to talk as much as possible. He trusts you, and he's willing to open up to you, he just needs a push in the right direction. Get him alone where it's just the two of you, try and make him feel comfortable..." She trailed off, thinking some more.

Auron, however, cleared his throat restlessly. "How... exactly should I get him comfortable do you think?"

"Oh, just try and act as normal as possible, though once he realizes you're there to question him he'll likely panic again... Physical contact is good, it always calms people down." She smirked rather evilly his way. "I'm sure you'll have no problem touching him, correct?"

Auron grunted.

"Just be sure to try and keep it platonic. Nothing too... heavy. You know what I mean." She sighed, mind still running. "You said his past insecurity issues were nearly healed before, but an incident when he was fourteen made him regress... right?"

The warrior scowled, remembering with far more clarity than he'd like the day he'd come home to find Tidus a beaten mess. "Yes."

"And you don't know what actually happened during this incident."

That just made him scowl more. "No, I don't. I tried to get him to tell me, but when he wouldn't I just... gave up. I didn't realize then how important it was." He laughed bitterly, hating himself all over. "Another mistake."

Lulu felt for the man who had obviously tried his best and placed a hand lightly on his arm in comfort. "Don't dwell on it. Just try and find out what happened that time. I think it's the root of all this."

Auron nodded his agreement, having been starting to think along those lines himself. He'd let it go once. He wouldn't do it again.

Wrapping up their talk, the two leisurely made their way inside, Auron debating on whether he would talk to Tidus tonight or wait for a better time. He decided he would see how tired the brat was before making his decision, but his thoughts came to a halt when he and Lulu both heard the heart-wrenching cries coming from down the hall. Both rushed to see what was the matter, Auron getting a grip on the hilt of his sword in case of danger. What they found was a pathetically sobbing Yuna, curled up into a ball on the floor by her bed while Kimahri stood stoically by.

With a small cry of distress, Lulu rushed forward, gathering the girl into her arms and raking long nails through brown hair. "What's the matter, Yuna? What happened?"

The girl just sobbed harder, clutching Lulu's dress in white-knuckled fists and trying to bury her face into the mage's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she gasped, unable to catch her breath. "I'm so so sorry."