In My Field of Flowers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY Final Fantasy VIII characters, though I wished.

Rated: R/for now

!WARNINGS! A classic Mary-Sue fic! If you don't like girls mysteriously finding their way in the world of Final Fantasy VIII then, I suggest you leave as quickly as possible.

YOU: I usually don't post if I don't get Feed Back. It just proves that this fiction wasn't worthy enough to be put on here. So, if you like it, be sure to post a review, even if it is to tell me to UPDATE. I like being pushed.

Summary: Seventeen year old Lisa Cardaci, spends her birthday in Japan to meet with Executive Producer, Hironobu Sakaguchi. What does that have to do with her winding up outside of Balamb a week before all conflicts?

The singer finished singing and she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear,
Her fear of falling out
And it's hard to say how I feel today
It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say, if only...
My worries weigh the world, how I used to be
And everything, I'm cold, seems a plague in me
And it's hard to say how I feel today
Worse than the fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before


SilverWolverina: Heck yes, he can! AND I wished my boyfriend was an Irvine. Thank ya, girl. Loving the reviews, you know they make my day.

Cassie: Damn that Squall. GO TO HER, BE CLICHE FOR ONCE! Thank you for the review, you're awesome for liking my story. For that you get mucho choco ice creamo.

Kishana: OMFG, YES! Finally. Jeez. Much love, girl. I got the para's and they were amazing. I love the emails lol

Sorry for the Writer's Block. School and Work don't mix.


Chapter Twelve: Use To This Feeling

Squall's Point Of View:

I thought I wouldn't be running, but I am. I thought this nightmare was over, but it won't stop. The longer I dream about you, the more I need you. How un-meaningful does that sound, especially coming from my lips? I do mean it though, every word that my heart portrays. A heart that's pumping red for once and not black.

When the clouds take the sky, that's when I know you're near. Just when everything disappears and dies, your there. The little bit of hope that is left, is you. I know that once I find you, it'll all clear up and go away. The sun will stretch and strenuously search all that has shied away from life.

Lisa calls you my 'Heaven' and with her words, I think I believe. She says that everything is dead now, but it all comes back to life when I hold you in my arms, and that will be the very first thing I do. Hold you until we are alive again. You can change me, can't you?

"Squall?"

A voice, so, intoxicatedly familiar, calls my name. Light music, a soft melody to my ears. I turn to you, but you're not there. The light has gone away, do you give me nothing, but a murmur? A noise that my ears will soon be deaf to, that I will forget?

"Please-give me a sign!" I'm not one to beg, but I want to understand. I want to protect you, I want to love you, I want to be there with you, and if I can't, then wake me up, and let me remain thinking this is a dream and not an omen.

The sound of metal hits the ground and I follow it, looking over the dried ground, passed ashes, and dirt. It's hard to see with the dust that rises up, as I stride, hastily.

Between two leafs, that had somehow made it through this plague, a chain hangs from the small green branch. I lift it up, slowly, like it would break if I held it too fast or too roughly. Griever dangles from the long silver. And her face is as clear as day.

-

I woke up, breathless. My fist was still clenched, as if I was still holding onto the chain, but it was gone. I laid still, thinking about the last person who wore that particular necklace.

The Gift Teller. The girl who came with mystery and light. Intelligent, and some-what, abrasive. As much as she is a secret, she's not hard to determine. I knew her like a pulse, and the number one thing she likes to do is find ways to further piss me off.

When she's indecisive, she talks a lot. I wouldn't say ordinary, and smells like something I can't describe. It's not bad, but it irritates me when something smells familiar and I don't know what it is. She refuses to sleep at night, she would rather talk or snack. When she does finally rest, it's on the deck of Balamb Garden or on the train headed towards, mostly danger.

The thing that gets me though, is her eyes, the way they change. A bright green when she's mad or upset, and an ocean blue when she's happy. A smile that's easy for her to wear, but you can never tell if it's real or fake. But when she looked at me that night, while she was driving, she smiled. A real one. I trusted her and it was evident that she trusted me. Lisa didn't even try to press me to talk about my feelings. She waits.

It's like she already knew how I felt. Someone I can talk to about Sis. What am I talking about? she's gone, to who knows where. Had I really taken all of this time to study her and care for her like this?

"Hello, Squall!"

Hyne, my head. I looked up to see Rinoa, her doe brown eyes, wide as saucers. I wonder if their permanently like that? "Rinoa."

"Yes, Squall?" She sat down on the bed, fidgeting with her shirt, impatiently.

"I was just saying, 'Rinoa', like 'Hi'," I said, dully. "Why are you here?"

She looks taken back, but soon recovers with a grin. "So, you can show me around, Silly!"

Think, Squall, think. C'mon you're a cold-hearted prick, start acting like it. I felt Shiva lavishing me with her icy nails for the emphasis. "I have more important things to do."

"What's wrong? you can tell me..." Rinoa trailed, moving her leg in a circular motion, like a wounded cat would do. I can always reach for my gunblade and fix that.

I bet she'd love to know a piece of me, so she can go and report it back to my friends. My friends? I shut my eyes.

"Rinoa, leave."

Instead of doing what I nearly begged her to do, she bends down, and looks up at me. A pretty girl with no morals. I get up from the bed, her at the back of my feet, following me to door. I shoved it open and stared down at her, coldly. "Are you going to move or do I have to make you?"

She places a hand close to her heart, fingering the rings that lay on her chest. I was about to grab for her arm, when I noticed-What the hell is she doing wearing Lisa's ring? that is hers and mine to share. Lisa alone, wears the pendant, that holds us together, and now Rinoa has it?

"That's Lisa's ring."

"I know, but she gave it to me-"

I held out my hand, ignoring her ramble. "Give me the necklace."

"But..." she gawks at me, reaching behind her neck to take it off. I handed Rinoa her ring, and walked off towards the Cafeteria, where I knew I'd find the others.

"Baby, I took on five of them, hands behind my back!" Zell joked, nudging Selphie with his shoulder. "I would explain more but..these hot dogs."

I straightened my back, looking over, what seemed to be 'suspects'. Zell avoided eye contact with me, biting down onto his beloved hot dog. I was trained to know a fluke, and Zell was the most revealing at this game. "Zell, where is she?"

"What? Oh, Lisa. I have no clue."

"Zell, tell me what you know," I said, sternly. I wasn't asking, I was demanding. "Try talking to me and not your food."

Before he could say anything, Irvine and Rinoa came rushing in. I doubt that they even noticed me, as they blurted out what was, obviously suppose to be a secret. "Galbadian Soldiers are in Balamb! Lisa-"

Selphie did a cut action with her hand, looking over at them, then to me. I found this amusing, until it clicked. "Lisa's in Balamb and it's swarming with G-Soldiers?"

"Great," Quistis smirked. "Now that everyone's up to speed, I say we go. We can get some more feed or even find something important."

I point to Irvine and Zell. "We go to Balamb."

The two men sigh, throwing their hands up in the air. Zell, looking at me, sadly, like he doesn't want to go back home. At-least Irvine looked more than willing.

Irvine kissed Selphie on the cheek. "I'll be back, Darlin'. I know, I don't want to go, either. He's an evil, cruel man."

...Nevermind...

"Squall, I'm coming," Rinoa bidded, starting to gather her things. "How do you feel about that?"

How do I feel? How do I take it? Am I okay with that? Tell you how I feel? I should talk more about it, shouldn't I? What does the flower represent to you? Shut the fuck up. You and your emotion grabbing claws, leave me the fuck alone. "No."

"That's not an answer-"

I strapped on my gloves, before glaring at her. "You want a heartfelt answer? well, here it is, Princess. I don't talk to you, because you try to rip it out of me. You try to 'figure' me out, when I don't even want you to. I clearly can't trust you, you run off and tell everyone what I'm thinking, and maybe I don't want them to know. And since there is no trust between us, there is no trust in battle, and I need that. No, Rinoa, you're not coming, and that is how I feel. Go and feed your dog, before he eats everyone's plates."

Zell grabbed his plate, that was once stacked with hot dogs. A distant look on his face, then a slight shudder. "Son of a bitch."

-

Lisa's Point Of View:


Galbadian Soldiers have been on the streets for quite some time, now. They were told to not let pavilions roam. No new comers in and no one goes out until they're done with their search.

But when they come and try to steal from you, that's another story.

His moves are slow, but for reason. He focuses on a direct hit, unlike me, who goes for anything I can reach. One, two, three, and a fourth hit. The soldier's eyes are dazed, glossed. Perhaps, sad, sorry tears of defeat? To a girl, I wanted to tell him.

"FIRAGA!"

Orange and yellow enrapture his body, ripping away at his clothes and armor. It wasn't satisfying, but it was a start. I'd learn to fight and be able to fend for myself in this world. I guess it's all we do. Fight and kill. Forget about the regret and forgive ourselves for grieving.

This is common, why do I grieve? It's not murder, it's living, and I'll never understand.

"Try to steal Ma's pie ever again..."

"Lisa Shane!"

I turned to look at Ma, who had her hand on her hip, and a finger pointed at me, scoldingly. "You've been going at that for two weeks now. Get inside, I have some news for you."

I slammed the door behind me, finding her on the couch with a mischievous look on her face. This was going to be good, whatever it was. I sat down across from her, tilting my head up, curiously. "Go on."

"I just got word from my son, it turns out that him and his companions are stopping by."

Two weeks later. Oh, that's just too damn sweet. I had fought with myself to stop thinking about it. It was to the point where I would train for hours. To release my pain and frustration, to try and tell myself that I was forgotten.

"Asshole," I muttered, while getting up from the couch. "Now, Ma?"

She nods, laughing a bit. "They should be here real soon. You better collect yourself."

I felt myself let go, then. A swift kick in the ass by my old pal, Adrenaline. I don't think that my heart is suppose to beat this quick. My hands felt clammy and frozen, and my stomach turned.

The sound of the back door slammed, it was do or die. Stay or run. By the time I gathered a coherent thought, I was gone. Body before my feet, feet before my body, didn't matter. He was the water that seeped into rocks and breaks it apart.

The steps behind me were starting to pattern my heart beat. A constant smack and thump on the ground. I stopped until guards were in view. Not in the mood for a fight or a talk.

"It's dangerous out here." Of course, the voice was as bitter as the cold back in Jersey.

"Greatly exaggerated," I whispered. "I can take care of myself."

"You know," Squall started, while walking closer. The warmth of his body pressured me to turn around. To look into those blue embers and feel myself fall deeper into him. Don't mess with a girl who's in love with the thought of falling in love. "Rinoa was wearing something that was yours and I can only assume that you lost it. 'Cause I know that you would never even think of giving up on me, and deep down inside I know that I would never give up on you."

He leans over, revealing my necklace. I could feel the familiar sensation of the tears that burned my eyes, as he clipped it in place. He fingered the silver, wrapping his arms around my collar in an embrace. My hand rested on his arm and I squeezed back, lightly.

The silence was probably the most we've understood in awhile. I roamed my hand across his face, through his hair. A content sigh escaped his lips, holding me even tighter. A jaded feeling washed over me, especially when I felt him smile against my hair.

That smile I've been waiting for. I shifted in his arms, turning to look at him. I swear it was my previous thoughts from before. He look exactly like he did at the end of the game. That smile and soft expression. Full lips and the sweet victory of receiving the rare action.

I reluctantly pressed myself against his strong body, using my thumbs to trace the smooth crevices of his neck and jaw.

"Lisa..." his breath was raspy and lost in the air, trailing off, as we both, instinctively inched closer.

Beep...Beep...Beep

Squall pulled away from me, taking the time to grasp his pager. An annoyed look washed over his face. A slight grit to his teeth, as he muttered, "Rinoa."

-

Squall: Constantly putting me in a position where I find myself-

Lady_Saktaka: Constantly bent over infront of a chair?

Squall: Are you the one who took those pictures?!?!

Lady_Saktaka: OH MY GOD, I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER!

Squall: ... sorry

Lady_Saktaka: Leave a review and (I will send you one of those pictures.)

Squall: What was that?

Lady_Saktaka: Your imagination, my love.