Whispers in the Roses

Whispers in the Roses

Flora Winters

I do not own Final Fantasy VII, and I’m not making any money here either.

Summary: Vincent wants to put Cloud’s heart back together again, but will Cloud let him? This story will contain boy love, some language, and violence.

Chapter Eleven

When it’s good, then it’s good, it’s so good till it goes bad

Till you’re trying to find the you that you once had

I have heard myself cry, never again

Broken down in agony just tryna find a fit

--Pink

Cloud was writing. He couldn’t stop. It was as though his hand was possessed by a muse who had been sniffing the mako. There were words appearing on the white paper he had found, and the music was flowing like water in his mind. He took another heavy drink from the bottle he had snuck into his bag when Vincent hadn’t been looking, swished the liquid around in his mouth a few times, and swallowed. It warmed his glacial flesh, making his pale cheeks burn porcelain pink.

“Cloud!” A voice called from the door to his cabin, followed by really loud knocking. It was more like repetitive banging. “You better let me in or I’ll cry!”

He continued to ignore Yuffie. He couldn’t stop. The force that had taken him over so suddenly wouldn’t allow him to even drop the pen he was using.

“That does it!” Yuffie snarled from the other side of the metal door. “You leave me with no other option, Cloud!”

He wished she would just take a hint and run along home. He wasn’t in the mood for her crazed antics. The captain really should just make her walk the plank and be done with it. He took another swig from his glassy friend and kept on with the writing.

“FIREBALL!” Yuffie screamed. There was a loud fizzing sound and then a wild poof. It was soon followed by a gasping shriek. “OH MY GOD! MY HAIRS ON FIRE!”

Cloud’s left eye twitched. He could smell smoke, but kept on writing. He had told her a hundred times not to play with materia she didn’t understand. Well, a person can only learn by fucking up. That was his new motto. He really should get someone to write that down for him.

“CLOUD!” Yuffie bellowed, hitting the door with her feet. “LET ME IN!”

He rolled his eyes. Why was she so damn annoying? Someone should really send that little girl to bed with no supper. That would sure learn her a thing or seven.

“You better open this door right now, Chocobo Head!” She yelled, hitting the door with her fists now. “Or I’m going to go get Vincent and he’ll make you open it!”

Cloud’s eyes widened. He looked up from his paper, dropping the pen from his trembling hand. It rolled across the written surface, stopping at his knee.

What did she just say? What did she just call him? There was only one person he knew who was allowed to call him that. It wasn’t possible. He must have imagined it.

“Open this door now, Chocobo Head!” Yuffie yelled again, making him get to his knees on the bed. “Or I’m going to beat up this random guy who just so happened to be walking by me just now!”

“Please let me go, Miss,” a terrified sounding young man pleaded. He sounded like he was about to piss himself. “I just got work done on my nose, and I actually like the outcome this time.”

“Do you hear that, Cloud?” Yuffie yelled, kicking the door again. “There’s a nose on the line out here!”

Cloud got to his feet, walked three steps, and was at the door. The room he was in was just that tiny. He put his hand on the lock, turning it with a sharp click. It echoed.

“Sorry,” he lied, opening the door up, seeing her standing there. She let go of the dark-headed guy. The poor thing took off running away like a wild thing. “I sleep deeply.”

She smiled, walking up to him. “What were you dreaming?”

“Butterflies,” he lied. “They were attacking and eating pink fuzzy bunnies in a large field of green clovers.”

Yuffie blinked several times. “That’s…odd…”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Did you need something?” He asked, turning back for the bed, letting her close the door.

“I just wanted to talk with you,” she said, plopping down on the tiny stool at the foot of the bed.

“Oh,” he said, sitting back down on the little bed. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Things,” she told him, folding her arms across her chest.

He cocked his head the side, putting the papers under his pillow. He didn’t want her to see them. “What kind of things?”

“You miss him,” she whispered.

Cloud stilled, turning slowly back to gaze at her.

“When you lose someone so precious,” she said, smiling with such warm eyes. “You feel like your heart has fallen to ashes in your breast.”

“You called me Chocobo Head,” Cloud whispered. “He called me that…”

“I knew you before I ever met you, Cloud,” Yuffie said, digging into her backpack.

“What?” He asked.

“I was friends with Zack,” she said, growling under her breath. She started throwing stuff out of her bag, trying to get at something within. “I used to send him false texts, tricking him into finding treasure for me.”

“That was you?” Cloud asked, shaking his head. He remembered how Zack would always come back, looking flustered, and very upset at having his treasure stolen. He had given the poor guy so many foot-rubs because of the Materia Princess. He missed giving those foot-rubs.

She nodded, handing him a small piece of paper. He turned it over and his breath left his lungs, making him gasp. It was a picture of him and Zack. His hand trembled. It was Zack. He was looking at Zack. That smile of his was so dorky. He had almost forgotten how cute it had been.

“He dropped that the last time I got to play with him,” she said, looking away. “I nearly lost my hand trying to get it out of my treasure box. Apparently I forgot to pull the black cat’s tail on the trap before poking the white spot between the yellow kitty’s blue eyeballs.”

Cloud couldn’t take his eyes off Zack’s beautiful face. He had only ever pictured him from his memories. His memories were all he had had. The tears fell from his eyes and he sniffed back a sob. He was looking at his lover.

“He would talk about you,” Yuffie told him. “He was always calling you his Chocobo Head.”

Cloud snorted. Zack had talked about him?

“I tried to give it back to him,” she said, scratching the back of her head. “But I…wanted to never forget how much fun I had stealing the treasure right out from under his nose every time.”

Cloud gazed into those beautiful blue eyes. They had held such life and so much magic. He looked at himself in the photo. He looked so young, so innocent…so…sane. “We were at the beach,” he said, putting a finger to Zack’s smiling face, wishing he could touch him. “He took this with the camera on his phone.” He looked at himself, trying to smile and lick his ice-cream cone at the same time.

It had been so warm. Zack had made love to him under the light of the moon on the beach. It had been so full of silver. He could still hear the dolphins singing. The gentle waves had washed under him, while Zack had taken his virginity with such tenderness, opening his heart to an endless love.

But, there was no such thing as an endless love. There is no such thing as a love that can last for an eternity. Sooner or later, no matter how hard you scream and cry, you will have to say goodbye. He did…and it had drove him mad…drove him to the point where he had forgotten it all.

“It belongs to you,” Yuffie told him, getting to her feet.

He looked up at her. “Thank you.”

“Just don’t close yourself off, Cloud,” she said, stopping with her hand on the door. “Zack would not want you to live your life in the shadow of his grave.”

Cloud could taste his tears.

“I love you, dummy,” she smiled, spinning around, blowing a kiss at him. “And so does a certain somebody else.”

She was gone before he could open his mouth to say anything. He just held the picture in his hand, wishing with all his heart that he would wake up inside of it, living that happiest of days once more.

He picked up the bottle he had hidden before letting her in, taking another long drink. There was just too much pain in his heart and a loud roar in his head. He just wanted to drink it all away.

“Your hands,” he said, looking into the photo, seeing that large hand on his naked shoulder. “I almost forgot what they looked like.” But, he could never forget how they felt when they were touching, loving him with all their gentle power.

He pulled a small bag from out of his pack. It was a popular drug all the teens were using in Cosmo Canyon. It was the blue seeds from what they called the “starflower.” The seeds pop open on your tongue, and intoxicated the person using. He had not even tried them yet.

They were like sugar on his tongue. They were just that sweet. The effects truly were immediate. It was like he was so damn high. His body felt so good.

He fell back onto his pillow with a smile. It was as if his whole body was being flooded with warmth. He felt lighter than air. The colors from the old poster on the right wall were so vivid. It was like the green and the yellow were jumping out at him.

All the pain was simply flowing away like crimson petals on the surface of a moving river. The only thing he could feel was the effect the drug and liquor were having on him. He felt good for the first time in a long ass time.

He held up the little picture. He had been so tan back then. The color of his hair and Zack’s eyes were really jumping out at him. They had been so perfect together. The perfect fit. That was what they were. That was what they had been.

He blinked back tears, reaching for the little baggy, taking more. Sugary goodness filled his mouth. He felt like the room was spinning ever so nicely.

A knock suddenly came at the door. He knew that knock. It was Vincent. He felt too good to care if Vincent found him like this. But, Vincent might take it all away from him.

“Just a minute,” he said, sitting up. He closed the bag, put the cork back in the almost empty bottle, and stuffed them back into his bag. “Come in,” he said, acting like he was still writing.

Vincent opened the door, stepping inside, closing it behind him. All that red was really jumping out at Cloud. The dark-headed stud was so alluring.

“I was about to get some food,” Vincent said. “And I thought I would see if you would like some as well.”

Cloud shook his head, taking his eyes off him. He was suddenly remembering his dream. “No thanks,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound drunk or stoned out of his mind.

“Well, what would you like?” Vincent asked him. “Would you want me to bring you something to drink instead?”

Cloud bit his bottom lip. What he wanted? He wanted Vincent to hug him. That’s what he found he really wanted. He wanted Vincent to hold him like he had from his dream. It had made him feel so warm, so comforted, and so very safe from the monsters that were trying to get him. Vincent chased away the nightmares.

“Cloud?” Vincent asked, causing him to blink. “Did I lose you?” He was waving a hand before his glassy eyes.

“I lost him,” Cloud said, holding up the picture Yuffie had given him. He suddenly felt like screaming and pulling his own hair out. Those glowing red eyes were looking at him with such tender softness. He wanted comfort. He needed comfort so much. Where had his happy buzz gone? Why was he sobering?

“Where did you find that?” Vincent asked him. “You said you didn’t have any pictures.”

“Yuffie,” he whispered, looking away from him. He told him what Yuffie had told him.

“I see,” Vincent smiled at him. It was gentle. “You should put that where you’ll never lose it.”

“I DID LOSE IT!” Cloud screamed, feeling years of anger, hate, and wrath. It exploded from him like magma from a fissure. “I FUCKING LOST HIM! I LOST HIM! I LOST MY ZACK!”

He held the picture to his heart, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. His mind was racing and then it was standing still. It was the liquor. The alcohol was fucking with the starflower.

“Cloud,” Vincent said, taking a seat beside him, wrapping his arms around him.

“They took him away from me!” He sobbed, melting into those arms. “They took it all from me!”

Vincent squeezed him.

“I…I DIDN’T EVEN BURY HIM!” He cried, screaming against Vincent’s muscular chest. He pulled his face away. “I LEFT HIM FOR THE ANIMALS TO EAT!”

He could see birds picking at those beautiful eyes. His mind made him see wild beats tearing into his only treasure’s flesh. The sounds of feasting filled his ears.

Vincent tightened his hold.

“OH, GOD!” He screamed, sobbing against Vincent like a little child. It was all coming back again. “I LEFT HIM THERE ALL ALONE!”

“You were not in your right mind, Cloud,” Vincent cooed to him, rocking him back and forth like one would a baby. “None of it was your fault. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I COULD HAVE BEEN STRONGER!” He yelled, feeling like his tears would be blood in seconds.

“Would that have made a difference?” Vincent asked.

“Yes,” Cloud told him, pulling away with a sudden swiftness. “I would have made him run away with me instead of facing them.” He put the picture down. “I would have kept him hidden with me. I wouldn’t have let him face them all on his own.”

“Are you really going to keep swimming in the past forever, Cloud?” Vincent asked, looking up at him. Cloud froze. Those ruby eyes looked so sad. “You’re either going to have to swim for shore…or you’re going to drown.”

Cloud just looked at him. What the hell did he know? He gritted his teeth in rage and sad understanding. He knew Vincent knew his pain. They had suffered the same kind of losses.

“What makes you so goddamn strong?” Cloud seethed. He felt anger towards Vincent now. “How do you just fucking let go and move on?”

“I’m not,” Vincent whispered like fading shadows. “And I haven’t…not completely.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” Cloud yelled.

Vincent looked down at his feet. The small room suddenly smelled or wild roses. All that red was flowing around the dark-headed man like crimson wings of silky fire. “I want you to let me slip inside those bleeding cracks in your heart, letting me seal it up with all my love for you, trapping myself within forever.”

Cloud took a small step back, and felt himself fall. He tired to yell, but he smacked the floor with a sudden thud way too quickly for a sound to leave his locked mouth.

He blinked his dazed eyes and moaned in pain. His head was killing him. He moved to sit up in the floor, finding starflower seeds all over the place. Had he passed out from the high? What had he been doing to make such a mess?

That was when he found the picture of him and Zack next to his hand. He looked at it with a smile. The chocolate ice-cream he was holding sure did look yummy.

He got to his feet, looking to see that it was night from his porthole, and stumbled for the door. Alcohol and starflower didn’t mix well at all. But, the high before the forgetful fall was sweet as sugar.

“Hi,” he said when a half-naked, sleepy-eyed Vincent opened the door. Damn his body was so fucking sexy. It was all hard and sculpted to perfection. He wanted to lick him like an icicle. He smiled up at him. “I want to sleep with you.”

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews. They make me very happy.

Flora.