The Measure of a Man

Title - The Measure of a Man
Fandom – FFVII
Characters – Yazoo, Kadaj, Loz, Tseng, Reno, Rude, Rufus
Warnings this chapter – yaoi, swearing, sex, mentions of incest.
Disclaimer – Don’t own the boys, just playing with them
Note – Story begins immediately after Advent Children

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Chapter 12 – Revelations

Rufus whimpered pathetically, hating the noise but not being able to hold it back as Tseng continued to suckle on his over sensitized cock. “Tseng… damn you,” he panted, resting up on his elbows as he tried to wriggle away. “I wanted to come… with you inside. Why did you do that?” His wriggling stopped abruptly when he realized that there were still fingers inside of him, fucking him slowly.

The Wutain pulled back, looking up at him with a grin. “You are going to come with me inside, Mr President,” he purred, licking over the blonde’s shaft while his eyes stayed locked onto Rufus’. “But only when I’m ready.”

Once again his cock was surrounded by his Turk’s warm mouth and Rufus closed his eyes and hissed. His shaft was already hardening again as the Wutain continued, the blonde losing the urge to bitch as he concentrated on the sensations assaulting his body. His eyes fluttered open, looking down to find his own legs spread wide, knees bent up, his body completely exposed to his lover’s ministrations. It should have been embarrassing, maybe even humiliating, but Rufus couldn’t convince himself to care. It was just too arousing to see the head of the Turks, the invincible Tseng, swallowing down his cock so greedily.

“Tseng,” he whined, his face blushing. “Enough… please.” He moved a hand down to the Wutain’s dark hair and tugged on it. “Wanna kiss,” he whispered, hating how needy he sounded. His lover released his cock, moving up and licking his lips while his fingers continued to move inside the blonde.

“Rufus,” Tseng whispered against his lips, his kisses short and too gentle for Rufus’ liking. “Tell me you want this. I need to hear your voice… your words… you.”

“Tseng, I need you… to fuck me,” Rufus demanded huskily, bringing both hands up to grab the back of Tseng’s head so he could kiss the other man hard, forcing his tongue between the Wutain’s lips. Tseng moaned into his mouth, removing the fingers that had been fucking him so steadily and the blonde trembled.

Rufus felt the tip of Tseng’s cock brushing against his entry and he pulled his legs up as far as he could, trying to push himself onto his lover’s shaft. “Gods, you’re so eager,” Tseng gasped, leaning back on one arm to watch Rufus’ face as he began to push inside. The President was writhing, thrusting his hips up to meet the Turk’s slow entry, not caring about the burn or any pain it might cause as his hands moved down to the Wutain’s ass and pulled their hips together hard.

Both men moaned loudly, Tseng from the tight heat squeezing him and Rufus from the sting caused by his own impatience. The Wutain stopped still against the blonde, his weight pinning him down and making it impossible for the President to thrust at all.

“Rufus,” Tseng growled, leaning in to suck up a mark on Rufus neck. The President was trying to move his hips, fighting the Turk’s insistence on staying still and ignoring the other man’s warning growl.

“Damn it, Tseng! Just move,” Rufus demanded, his face flushed as he panted and continued his wriggling. “I’m not a fucking girl and I want you to fuck me hard.”

“No,” whispered the Wutain, so close to Rufus that his breath tickled the blonde’s ear. “Is that what you do to Yazoo? Do you fuck him hard, not waiting for him to adjust? Do you hurt him, Mr President?”

His Turk’s words struck a cord in Rufus, making his body still beneath Tseng’s. “No,” he answered, frowning in confusion. “I would never hurt Yazoo.”

“Then why do you think I would hurt you?” Tseng replied, sitting back enough to look into Rufus’ eyes. The blonde looked back at him, lust refusing to let his mind form an answer. Sephiroth was always hard, taking him with no gentleness and the President just expected it that way but he didn’t want to mention the other man’s name right now. Both men stared at each other until finally, the Wutain pulled his hips back and slowly thrust forward. Rufus’ squeezed his eyes closed in preparation for the pain but he was surprised when there was none. The burn was still there, but as Tseng continued to move so slowly in and out, it even faded leaving nothing but the feeling of fullness.

Opening his eyes, he looked up the Wutain, his back arching as the older man’s cock changed angles to rub against his prostate with every gentle pass. “Tseng,” he whispered, one hand staying on Tseng backside while the other came up thread into dark locks. “Gods… feels so… ,” he stuttered out between breaths, his own hips beginning to move in time with the Turk’s.

“Yes,” Tseng hissed in reply, his eyes so intense as he slowly increased his speed, his movements still slower than Sephiroth had ever been. “This is… making love… Rufus,” he panted out before capturing the President’s lips in a languid kiss that matched his thrusts perfectly.

Rufus lost himself in the experience, not noticing as his Turk kept increasing the speed and strength of his thrusts. By the time their lips broke apart, the blonde gasping for breath, Tseng was slamming into him, the headboard of the bed smacking against the wall in a continuous beat. Rufus’ brain had ceased to function beyond staring at the beautiful man before him, his body completely under the other’s control.

Suddenly, Tseng wrapped his arms around Rufus’ waist, sitting back on his knees and pulling the blonde up with him. The President ended up in his lover’s lap, writhing and wrapping himself around the other man who continued to thrust up into him. The new position rubbed his cock between their stomachs, the friction pushing him towards orgasm too fast.

“Tseng… don’t want… to stop,” Rufus whimpered, clinging tightly to the Turk as his body began to tense and the Wutain’s thrusts became erratic.

“Let go… baby… come for me,” Tseng panted, the older man’s words pushing him over the edge and into an orgasm that seemed to last so long, Rufus’ body spasming almost painfully as he rode out the intense feeling. When he finally regained some sense of his surroundings, Tseng was laying gentle kisses all over his face, the evidence of the Wutain’s own climax warm within him.

“Don’t ever leave me,” Rufus whispered, unaware of the tears that were falling down his own face.

“Never,” Tseng replied, pulling the blonde into his embrace and holding him tightly.

***..***

“Loz, what is it that you’re so happy about? I can’t sleep with your thoughts banging into my head,” Kadaj whined, opening his eyes and sitting up to peer down into his brother’s eyes. Loz was wide awake, his face smiling up at the youngest as Yazoo stirred and looked up as well.

“I’m excited about what Rude said before he left. I wonder if Reno is kissing him back right know and what else they’re doing out there,” the eldest replied, making Kadaj frown at him.

“I was trying not to think about that,” the youngest whined, resting his head back down on Loz’s chest and pouting. Kadaj could feel Yazoo’s hand come up and thread through his hair and he sighed.

“Why wouldn’t you want to think about that?” Loz asked, looking at him in confusion. “I thought you wanted it to happen too.”

“I do want it to happen!” Kadaj exclaimed, sitting up again. “I just don’t want to think about it right now, okay?” He could feel his temper rising and he crossed his arms, turning away from them both to stare at the far wall.

“Daj, why are you angry?” Yazoo asked, his hand reaching out to rest on the youngest’s shoulder.

“I… I don’t know,” Kadaj muttered. “I suppose… I’m kinda worried about what will happen now.”

“What’s there to worry about, Daj? All I did was tell Rude how much I like Reno and he was really interested. He asked me what I liked about him and when I started liking him. Then he asked me if I liked Reno more than him and I said no, that Rude would always be the most important to me, just like Reno would always be the most important to you,” Loz said, his hand moving to grasp onto his youngest brother’s. “We’re not trying to take him away from you, brother. We just want to play with him too.”

“What about me?” Kadaj asked, biting his bottom lip as he turned back towards his brothers. “Does Rude like me?”

“Yes, he said he’s attracted to both you and Reno. You should of seen how he was when we were watching the two of you together that night. His eyes kept darting back and fourth, like he couldn’t work out which of you he wanted to look at more,” Loz said with a chuckle, bringing Kadaj’s hand up to kiss the back of it. “Although, he was worried that Reno might not want to share you so he’s going to talk to him about the four of us playing together,” Loz said.

“Oh… well, that’s… okay then,” Kadaj replied, frowning as he looked away from the eldest.

“Daj, are you sure that’s okay with you?” Yazoo asked, reaching out to turn his face back towards them. His middle brother looked worried and Kadaj met his eyes with confusion in his own.

“Yes. I’m the one who said that I wanted all four of us to play,” he murmured, trying to work out what the bad feeling was, deep in his chest. “I just… got a funny feeling.”

Yazoo tilted his head to one side as he continued to look at him. “A funny feeling?”

Kadaj bit his lip again, closing his eyes as he tried to identify what bothered him about it all. He thought about that night, how much he’d wanted to be able to touch Loz and Rude with Reno and have all of them together. It was still arousing to think about, so that wasn’t it. He turned his thoughts to just Rude and Reno, outside the room right now kissing and maybe doing more and the ache came back. Suddenly he realized what it was that bothered him about it and he opened his eyes to meet Yazoo’s gaze.

“Will he still want me once he’s been with Rude?” he whispered, his eyes wide and fearful.

“Of course he will!” Yazoo exclaimed, sitting up and pulling the youngest into a hug over the top of Loz. “Daj, Reno loves you more than anything. I’ve watched the way he looks at you, the way he fusses over you and worries, even when he’s angry with you.”

“Then why does it hurt to think about him and Rude together? It never hurt before,” Kadaj mumbled into his chest, feeling Loz sit up and wrap his arms around them both.

“Because you love him back now, Daj,” the eldest said softly. “When you love somebody there’s always the fear that you’ll lose them. Before, you were just attracted to him so the fear wasn’t there.”

Kadaj thought over Loz’s words carefully. Do I really love Reno? He’d only ever loved his brothers before but what he felt for Reno was different, stronger, and the thought of losing the redhead had hurt. “I… I don’t understand,” he finally whispered. “I didn’t feel anything change. Shouldn’t I have felt something when like turned to love?”

Yazoo hummed, squeezing him tightly and kissing the top of his head. “Sometimes love creeps up on you when you’re not looking, little brother. Sometimes you don’t know it’s there until it hurts.”

Kadaj sighed, resigning himself to the fact that somehow, he’d fallen in love with Reno. Both his brothers understanding so much about love when he knew so little was embarrassing and he could feel his face blush so he kept it hidden. “When did both of you get so smart anyway,” he grumbled, snuggling in closer to their bodies as they chuckled at him. Brothers could be so annoying sometimes.

***..***

Rude had completely forgotten all about being on alert in case Rufus called them to help him with Tseng. Such an unprofessional mistake was not like the quiet Turk, but with Reno spread across the dinner table before him, naked and writhing, one couldn’t really blame him for his transgression. The fact that it was him that had caused the redhead to be in this state only added to the thrill.

“Reno, it’s criminal how good you look right now,” he growled, the smell of cloves filling the air as he continued to prepare his partner with his favorite cooking oil. He leaned in to kiss and bite down one pale thigh as the redhead began moaning loudly, his other hand stroking his partner’s cock slowly. He already had three fingers inside Reno, twisting and teasing, but he was enjoying the show too much to move on just yet.

“R… Rude,” Reno whimpered, his hips moving in time with Rude’s fingers in a slow, sensual dance. “Want… please… f… fuck,” the redhead begged incoherently, his words having disintegrated from phrases to single words over ten minutes ago. Rude just smiled, his own cock aching but still he didn’t stop, keeping up the slow pace that kept Reno on the edge but didn’t allow him to get any further.

“I could keep you like this forever,” he murmured, licking a line up Reno’s cock slowly as the redhead bucked up, only to whine when the quiet Turk backed away again.

“Bas… tard,” Reno whispered, his hands gripping the sides of the table so hard that his knuckles had gone white. Rude was pleasantly surprised at his control, having told the redhead to keep his hands there right back when he’d begun preparing him. Reno had not moved them, somehow managing to keep them in place no matter what Rude did to him.

“You have been very good, though. Keeping your hands where I told you for all this time,” Rude conceded, adding a fourth finger that made the redhead moan so loudly that Rude was suddenly reminded that they were in the middle of the kitchen, where anyone could walk in and find them. The thought of being discovered only amped up his own arousal though, pushing him to finally move on to the next step before the ache from between his own legs became unbearable.

“F… fuck me… please,” Reno gasped, the skin on his face blushing to match his hair as he stared up at Rude through eyes barely open. Sweat had dampened the hair around his face, leaving it a darker hue than the strands spread out on the table under him and Rude memorized the scene, determined it wouldn’t be the last time he would witness his partner coming undone under his control.

“As you wish,” he growled, finally slipping his fingers free and lining up his straining erection at the redheads entrance. He paused once more, lifting Reno’s legs over his shoulders and bending his partner in half as he began to slowly push inside. Even with the prolonged preparation, it was still a tight fit, his own girth more than was usual. Rude paused once the head of his cock was inside, taking it slow to ensure he caused his partner no pain.

Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to control the urge to push, waiting for Reno’s muscles to adjust to the invasion. He remembered the night he and Loz had watched his partner and Kadaj, joining together almost violently. Both of them were so fiery that the intensity of their sex was not unexpected, which was one of the reasons that Rude insisted on taking it so slow with Reno. He wanted the redhead to be out of his comfort zone, to see his partner beg and writhe.

“M… move! F… fuck, Rude… move,” Reno whimpered, interrupting Rude’s thoughts and bringing him back to the present with a jolt. The redhead was murmuring a continuous stream of curses now, words mixing together in a blur of abuse and frustration. Rude could only smile down at him affectionately before beginning to push inside, slowly sheathing himself in Reno’s body.

Still only half way in he had to pause again, the redhead tightening up on him and squeezing his eyes closed. Rude swore himself, having to bite his own lip to keep himself still as his cock was clenched in a vice grip. “Reno… relax,” he panted, his hands stroking down the other man’s sides gently. “I don’t… want to hurt you, open your eyes,” Rude pleaded, untangling an arm to cup his partner’s face. “Please… look at me.” Reno slowly opened his eyes, looking dazedly up into Rude’s face with a expression filled with vulnerability.

“Sorry,” the redhead mumbled, his face blushing red.

“Don’t apologize,” Rude whispered, leaning in to kiss him gently. “Are you sure… you want this?.” To have to stop at this point would nearly kill Rude, but he had to be sure that Reno wasn’t having second thoughts.

“Want this… don’t stop,” Reno husked out, his eyes locked onto Rude’s as he smiled a small smile and wriggled his hips a little. Rude moaned at the movement, swearing as he tried to keep still and causing the redhead to chuckle beneath him.

Growling and nipping at Reno’s bottom lip, he slowly began moving again when the body beneath him finally began to relax, keeping a close eye on the redhead’s expression to ensure that he wasn’t hurting him. His partner kept his eyes open, locked onto Rude’s as his arms came up to wrap around the other’s neck.

He reached one had down to play with the redheads cock, stroking it gently as he continued to slowly thrust in and out, only moving a little in the tight heat that surrounded him. “So beautiful,” he mumbled, kissing the redhead slowly until Reno began moving his hips up to meet him, the redhead’s kisses becoming more aggressive. Rude tried to keep it slow, to draw out the experience but as soon as Reno began scratching his back he lost control, slamming into the body beneath him so hard that the table began to move across the kitchen floor.

“Nnnn… fuck… yes,” Reno panted, throwing his head back to reveal his pale throat. Rude began to nip and suck his partners pale flesh, his own climax only moments away.

“Come for me, Red,” he gasped before biting down hard, sending Reno into an orgasm that left the redhead arching like a bow, his inner muscles clamping down on Rude almost painfully. It was too much for Rude, his own body following Reno’s into bliss blindly as he called his partner’s name.

***..***

Although his body was relaxed, Rufus’ mind would not still, his mind racing and keeping him from slipping into the sleep that called so temptingly. Tseng’s heartbeat thudded slowly under his ear as he lay curled half way across him, his eyes closed, but Rufus knew the older man wasn’t sleeping from the hand that was still caressing his hair.

“You’re not going to go to sleep, are you?” Tseng’s voice murmured, his eyes opening to peer down at the President.

“I was trying, but…,” Rufus mumbled, frowning as he tried to think of a way to phrase all the questions running around his head. The Wutain sighed deeply and the blonde bit his lip again, not wanting to ruin such a tranquil moment. Rufus cursed his own psychotic need to know everything about the things that he cared for, wishing he could just let it go and pretend it never happened.

“You want to know what was wrong with me before,” Tseng whispered, his eyes closing again as his forehead crinkled up in a frown of his own.

“Yes, I… I need to know,” Rufus responded, sitting up to reach a hand up to cup one of Tseng’s cheeks. “I thought I’d lost you. Whatever is hurting you inside… I need to know what it is so I can fight it… make it better and take away the pain.”

“You can’t fight memories, Rufus,” Tseng whispered, opening up his eyes to met the blondes with a sad smile. “Although, you just being here does numb the pain….” The Wutain’s words drifted off, his eyes locked onto Rufus’.

“B...but I…,” Rufus stuttered, trying to think of some way to push the issue without hurting Tseng again. He couldn’t just drop it, no matter how much he tried to convince himself it was the best thing to do and his mouth began to move without his permission. “It’s got to do with you family hasn’t it?”

Tseng instantly tensed beneath him and sat up, pushing him to the side as he moved to get up, making the blonde feel like biting off his own tongue. Shit, shit, shit, shit…, his mind muttered.

“You’ve been digging into things that you have no right to,” the Wutain growled, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to Rufus.

“Well, what the fuck did you expect me to do?” the blonde exclaimed, his desperation making his own temper flare. “You’re always in control, nothing hurts you and then suddenly you’re screaming and pulling your hair. I was calling your name and you were muttering all this shit and I was so fucking scared! Did you expect me to just do nothing? For fucks sake, Tseng… I love you!”

Rufus stared at the back of Tseng’s head, watching as the Wutain’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Okay, Rufus. You want to know everything than so be it, but be warned. You’ll probably never want to touch me again afterwards,” he answered flatly, standing up and pulling on his pants before walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Rufus asked, not able to keep the panic out of his voice.

“I’ll be back in a second,” was Tseng’s mumbled reply, leaving Rufus to wonder if this wasn’t the biggest mistake he’d ever made. He grabbed his own pants, pulling them on incase the Wutain didn’t come back, sitting nervously on the bed as he waited. When the door finally opened again, a old tattered book was thrown into his lap, Tseng meeting his eyes sadly. “Everything is in there. I’m going to lay down,” the Turk muttered, turning and closing the door behind him.

Rufus was torn between running after Tseng to apologize, or staying were he was and reading the book that seemed to contain all the answers to his questions. He knew that his Turk was hurting, but he also knew that this one his one and only chance to find out what haunted Tseng to the point of breakdown and he had to know, to be able to try and make things better for the stoic man he loved. Rufus knew he couldn’t pass up this opportunity and could only hope that Tseng would forgive his insistence to know the truth.

Rufus looked down at the book in his hands and tentatively opened to the first page to find it was Tseng’s diary. There was a message on the inside cover, a scrawled birthday greeting from someone called Sian wishing Tseng a happy 12th birthday and telling him a good place to hide the diary from their parents. Rufus assumed Sian was Tseng’s older brother, there being no record of any other siblings. He settled back on the bed and began at the beginning, smiling as he read the ramblings of Tseng as a child. He was surprised to find out that his Turk loved to paint, draw and read, more than anything else. It didn’t fit with the Tseng he knew, this child seemingly gentle and innocent, naive in ways that Rufus couldn’t even remember being himself.

The blonde couldn’t help be captivated by the book as he continued to read, it becoming obvious that Tseng loved his brother and idolized him. Around six months into it, things begun to change, a frustrated darkness creeping into the entries. Tseng’s parents were beginning to try and push him into being more of a man, taking away his painting and drawing supplies and his books, leaving the boy crushed.

Then there were entries that made Rufus angry, Tseng’s parents telling him that he was strange and embarrassing, that he had to change and become someone different. He was made to go out and play with children that didn’t like him, bullied and beaten up for being too feminine. He told his parents and got no sympathy, his father telling him that it was good for him, to toughen him up and make him a man.

The diary began to be filled with pictures too then, images sketched amongst the words of animals, people, even scenery, as the young Tseng began to illustrate his diary entries, desperate to draw. Rufus paused on a picture under an entry about Sian, amazed at Tseng’s skill at such a tender age. His brother was beautiful, looking very similar to Tseng but with a thicker build, his smile kind and welcoming. The entry talked about Sian taking Tseng to a neighboring town for a festival, buying the younger more art supplies and letting him keep them in his brother’s room in a locked box. Sian had told Tseng that he was talented and shouldn’t let their parents dissuade him from his love of art, letting the younger boy spend hours in his brother’s room, creating art away from his parent’s critical eyes. Rufus smiled, happy that even though Tseng’s parents were cruel and cold, the boy still had his brother, someone who accepted him as he was and encouraged him not to change.

There seemed to be more and more pictures of Sian as the book continued, Tseng’s older brother featuring in every entry for the next few months. It was clear that he was Tseng’s only source of happiness and love, the younger becoming obsessed with the older as time went on. Then there was an entry that stated Sian had kissed Tseng and the younger boy was confused about it. His entries talked about wanting to do it again, how right it had felt, even though Tseng knew it was wrong.

Things began to escalate, Tseng admitting that he was pushing for more even though Sian refused to take things between them all the way. His older brother said he wouldn’t take Tseng until he was eighteen but both continued to do everything else together, their play nearly going all the way a few times but Sian always managed to stop it, much to Tseng’s ire. Rufus had to chuckle at that, funnily not disturbed by the brother’s relationship, but amused at Tseng’s determination.

Just after Tseng’s thirteenth birthday, there was a large gap in the entries, a good six months passing before the next one. The entry was in the same handwriting, but seemed like it was written by someone else, as it was so cold and direct, stating the fact that their parents had walked in on Tseng and his brother together and ostracized Tseng from the family, sending him away to live with his uncle and aunty. It listed out his chores and his daily punishments for being ‘evil and sinful’. There were no longer any illustrations, just words with no emotion as the Wutain kept repeating over and over how he’d shamed his family and tainted his brother. There were mentions of how determined he was to become a better person, to fix what was wrong within himself so that his family would take him back. Hardest of all for Rufus to read was the entries when Tseng had said he’d deserved his punishment, beatings and constant whippings something that the boy had come to expect for being who he was.

Then, suddenly after two years of monthly entries that tore at Rufus’ heart, there was one entry that was different. Finally, Tseng’s parents were coming to visit and the boy was determined to prove that he was ‘fixed’ in the hope they would take him back. His uncle had given him words to memories and tell his parents and they were repeated on the next three pages, over and over like a mantra that made Rufus feel like throwing up.

“I accept what happened was my fault. I used my body to corrupt my brother out of jealousy and spiritual weakness. I am strong now and I will defeat the darkness in my spirit. I will become a man you can be proud of.”

There was a last entry, saying that in a couple of hours his parents would arrive and how excited he was and hopeful that he would succeed but then nothing else, the remaining pages blank and heart-wrenchingly bare. All he found was two tickets tucked into the back cover for an airship to Midgar, one stamped as used and the other pristine and untouched.


TBC

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REVIEW REPLIES -

Faoiltierna -

Thank you for battling the aff.net gremlins and still leaving me a review! I really appreciate every one you leave. What happened to Tseng's brother should be cleared up in the next couple of chapters... I keep getting side tracked... lol. Tseng is getting there now, although he still has a few bridges to cross. He frustrates me, but I'm just gonna keep pushing him until he behaves and gets with the program. He wants and needs this, just has to learn to trust and take the risk with his battered little heart. Oh, sorry if I misunderstood you on the Reno/Rude issue... lol. I do understand where you're coming from though, because they do have a very brotherly relationship, which I'm pushing into something more. Honestly, I was really nervous about that particular pairing as it's the first time for me writing Reno in a relationship and the first time ever writing Rude so hopefully, it ends up believable and not icky. *hugs*

Kira -

*glomps* Thank you! Tseng's brother's fate should be cleared up very soon, as Rufus is dying to know, the nosey little shit... lol. I'm very glad you're liking the Rude/Reno bits. They make me so nervous to write and it's great to hear that they seem to be working out so far. OMG! How did I miss your new chapter of my road! shit! I so gotta hurry up and finish posting so I can go read it now. I'm dying to see what happens next! Tseng is getting there, the poor thing. Yeah, Rufus is spreading the love! LOL! He has a job ahead of him getting Yaz and Tseng together though, but the President does love a challenge. Thanks again for all your support! You are awesome! *hugs*

InfinitysDaughter -

Sorry!!! I know, it was very cruel of me to leave the last chapter where I did, but hopefully this one makes up for it. *coaxes you out of corner with cookies* Thank you so much for your review and I'm very happy you're enjoying the story!

THANKS TO ALL WHO READ AND TO THOSE WHO RATE ASWELL!!!

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