Power Of Pain

Chapter Thirteen

Squall was now able to go back to his dorm room, but of course someone has to follow him around for awhile to make sure he didn't start doping up again. Zell, Irvine and Seifer were going to take turns on staying. Laguna had gone back to Esther but promised to visit every weekend. Kiros and Ward went with him but Ellone decided to stay for a bit more.

Now students watched as Irvine escorted him to his dorm room and Squall mentally groaned. He was off the solution now and the withdrawl went quicker because of it. He still felt like he needed the junk, but with a few slaps from Dr. Kadowaski and threatening swipes with a knife from Selphie he stopped voicing his cravings. With a sigh he unlocked the door and him with the cowboy walked in. "The place was cleaned real good. No more puke, blood and what not around. That's another thing, if you cut yourself anymore, your ass is going to be hamburger."

"Are you offering something?" Squall said and Irvine choked. "What!?" He demanded with big eyes and Squall shrugged. "Nothing. Just thought you were offering to pound me into soft meat." Squall said and Irvine's jaw dropped. "Man...you're making me...uncomfortable." Irvine said. "Are you joking?" He asked and Squall gave a small smile. Irvine's eyebrows slanted. "You're evil Squall. Pure sick and evil." He said and Squall just shook his head. "Don't be upset Irvine."

"Yeah. You're just feeling frisky with that shit out of you." Irvine mumbled and Squall raised an eyebrow. "Frisky huh? What kind of frisky?" Squall asked and Irvine groaned. "Not sexually frisky, I mean...like picking on people. Playing jokes, thought I don't remember you ever being like that. Were you on that stuff all these years?" Irvine asked, folding his arms and a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. "...No." Squall said, not really wanting to admit he had taken the drugs.

"Fine. Say, how about a bite to eat?" Irvine suggested, changing their conversation. "I don't know. I'm feeling a little queasy right now." Squall said. "Especially means you keep hitting on me." Squall teased and the cowboy blushed again. "Squall? Is that really you or a pod person?" Irvine asked with a raised eyebrow. "Possibly. Maybe Squall Leonhart never really existed." Squall said and Irvine finally gave his arm a whack.

"Knock it off, you're really wierding me out right now." Irvine said. "Fine, I'm sorry. It's just funny to see you so shocked. And blushing makes you look...really feminine." Squall said. "What!? I do not look like a girl! If any man does in this place, i'ts you." Irvine said. "I mean what guys really has such a heart shape looking ass...." Irvine stopped talking and turned a bright red. "You look at my ass?" Squall asked, amused at the thought.

"Damn. This is getting weird." Irvine said. "Hey it's not weird for Zell, Xu or Selphie." Squall said and the cowboy froze. "What? Oh my Hyne! You had sex with them!? Even Zell!?" Irvine's eyes bugged out. "Not Selphie. She just kind of gave me a blow job in the infirmary, after I woke up when I was taken back here." He said and Irvine looked at him closley. "She did?" He asked.

"Hey, I didn't force her to do anything. She kept calling herself Dr. Selphie and I was patient Squall. It was really...kinky." Squall said. "Wait a minute here Squall, I need to talk to her and see if it's true or just a joke of yours." Irvine said and left the room. Squall walked around his dorm, seeing that most of all his medications were gone. He was allowed to take his anti-depression medicine and aspirin. Other stuff, had to be okayed with Dr. Kadowaski and he had to be watched while taking it.

'I just need...something.' Squall thought and went to the kitchen where he spotted a small pairing knife. Biting his lower lip he tried to make the urge to drag the blade across his flesh go away. He could almost feel the light burning sensation, almost feel his skin parting, could almost see the crimson liquid pulling to the surface. Slowly he walked over to it and took it in his hand.

The small blade was clean, almost as if to purify him if he dug it in. "Hey!" Irvine yelled and got it out of his fist. "God damn it Squall! I just leave for a few minutes and you go and find a fucking knife." Squall just looked at him, his blue eyes large. "I didn't do anything." He finally said and Irvine grabbed his chin. "No, but you were going to. Why do you feel the need to constantly hurt yourself?" Irvine asked quietly. "I don't...." Squall began and Irvine grabbed his wrist.

"DON'T deny it Squall." He said forcefully and Squall went quiet. Irvine sighed and let him go. "Just...don't try and do it anymore." He said and Squall just shrugged. He felt defeated at not being able to release his drug cravings by doing another. Such a switch in emotions were always noted about him latley. Dr. Kadowaski said it's to be expected that he have mood swings for awhile, even after the solution. "So Selphie admitted to me about you two." Irvine said and Squall nodded.

"Squall...don't go all depressed now. It's best you don't do any of that shit anymore." Irvine said and again Squall nodded. "You need to start doing something to take your mind off of things." Irvine suggested. "Like what...? Going around acting like a holier than thou cowboy?" Squall asked looking at him with a irritated glaze. "Well screw you Squall and your little pissy mood swings." Irvine huffed.

"Hmph. Screwing me might help." Squall said and Irvine gawked at him. "Are you serious Squall?" Squall just shrugged. "It might make me feel better." He said. "I...Squall..." Irvine began but Squall stopped him with a raised hand. "It's okay. I know you don't see me like that, not many do. Zell, Xu, Selphie and possibly Seifer think I'm not too disfigured to want." Squall said. "Disfigured? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm disgusting. I've been told plenty of times, so I know it's true." Squall said. "What!? You are nothing close to disgusting. Hell If I may so I think you're pretty fucking sexy. I just think...it's a little soon." Irvine said and Squall nodded. "Yeah, whatever makes you feel less guitly." He said and went to his bedroom. "I'm going to lay down for a bit." He said and Irvine gave a disgrunted sigh. "Shit he's messed up." Irvine whispered to himself, then walked to Squall's bedroom.

TBC
Lemon coming up!!