In My Field of Flowers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY Final Fantasy VIII characters, though I wished.

Rated: R/for now

!WARNINGS! A classic Mary-Sue fic! If you don't like girls mysteriously finding their way in the world of Final Fantasy VIII then, I suggest you leave as quickly as possible.

YOU: I usually don't post if I don't get Feed Back. It just proves that this fiction wasn't worthy enough to be put on here. So, if you like it, be sure to post a review, even if it is to tell me to UPDATE. I like being pushed.

Summary: Seventeen year old Lisa Cardaci, spends her birthday in Japan to meet with Executive Producer, Hironobu Sakaguchi. What does that have to do with her winding up outside of Balamb a week before all conflicts?


"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."
Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't cry it all away
The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we hide our eyes
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth, my final time
"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."
Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone
"You're not alone, honey. Never...Never."
Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No.
"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten.
Because I'll die if you do."


Cassie: Heck yes. Good Charlotte is an insane band. The first CD will always be the greatest, though. Welcome for those Screencaps. And Rinoa should die. I mean, really die. Thank you for reviewing, you know that I love it. LOVE YOU! xxx

PineappleGirl: You should feel crazy everyday, dammit! Your welcome for the screencaps. Those pictures of Squall are very delicious. Thank you for the inspiration, girly. You know I love it. YOU KNOW. I mean it's not even a question, it's a fact. You've been with me FOREVER. Love that. Thankkkkk youuu.

SilverWolverina: Hahaha. Yeah, these review boxes are crazy. Yeah, I think this is going smoothly. You know how much I appreciate your reviews. Their so in depth. At the end with the smile, HECK YES. He's such a cutie pie. But yes, tell me when you get that up. I'm leaving my sn, we shall chat about it sometime. Aim: GgingerSnNaps Neways, THANK YOU for leaving the review. Much love.

shivasice: YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY LOVE ME MORE! NUH UH. Yes, they finally smooched. Dig it and dig it hard. Thank you for reviewing. You know how much I love you.

Kishana: Well, you better start catching up, girl. Thank you for reviewing, Kishi. You're the greatest.

!IMPORTANT!: I'm leaving the FFVIII Screencap link on here...http://photobucket.com/albums/v37/odzygomoo/kara%20izz%20muh%20lovah/ Alrighty? Welcome girls!

Chapter Fourteen: Don't Turn Away (Can't You Hear Me?) PRT1

Squall licked his lips, as if trying to savor the taste. He came down for another kiss, ignoring the fact that I've become completely still. He continued to work his soft lips against my own, coaxing my lips to move.

"Lisa," he breathed, as he grasped my waist. "Kiss me."

My hands unfroze from around his neck and I gripped his thick locks. A satisfied smile on his lips, as I pulled him down for a kiss. Capturing his top lip, I felt him hum a moan. A beautiful sound to my ears, urging me to go further. The pressure from my hands moved to his slender torso, and pressed him to me.

Squall pulled back, enough to look me in the eye. "Need you."

He moved until we were crushed against each other. Breathing hard, he stared at my lips, and tilted his head. His heart pounded, loudly against my chest. Taking in a deep breath, he forcefully placed his hands on the sides of my face and pressed his lips, aggressively against my own, nearly knocking me over backwards. Everything running through my mind whirled so fast, that nothing made any sense. I stopped trying to think and allowed myself to feel.

Our tongues danced, and our bodies moved in an unheard rhythm. He traced my lips, the roof of my mouth, and began, lightly sucking on my bottom lip. He then, ran his tongue over my lips, probably satisfied with the taste of the energy drink.

I continued kissing him, until I was under the influence of his breath. I no longer knew who was doing the breathing, if it was him or me? Pulling back was torture at best, but I needed to gasp in as much air, as I could before returning to his world.

Once his chest rose to its fullest, his own intake of precious air complete, he was back on me, this time changing our direction and nearly ramming me into the side of the Garden. My eyes widened in shock at the intensity of his force, my mouth closed back in over his. The more I kissed him, the more I needed his air, almost becoming addicted to it. Our mouths resumed their dance, and I wondered if it was possible to kiss someone until their lips fell off?

If I could have read his thoughts, I would have known then, that Squall had never known pain to be so addictive, but that the more his lips throbbed, the more he wanted to swallow me whole.

My tongue was growing numb now, tangled in his, drifting over teeth. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer, and the lower half of my body was tingling. I realized that this was getting out of hand, but also knew that I didn't have the strength to pull away. This was too magnetic, too important, but he continued his dangerous game, nearly sucking all my breath, leaving my body shaking.

"Squall..." I murmured against his lips, pushing my hands against his chest. "This is-"

He cut me off, gently kissing my lips, and leaving me weak.

"That was what?" he grinned, almost making me fall over.

"Actually," he said, putting a finger to my lips. "Don't analyze that. I can't deal with you rejecting me, not now."

I looked at him, unable to speak for once. He leaned in closer, but his head fell against my cheek, as I moved my face.

"Kiss me, please?" he begged, a sound I don't think anyone heard often. I blinked, continuously, feeling very vulnerable at that moment.

"I have a sorceress to kill," he sighed, after long moments of watching me, and he looked very amused doing so.

I flinched, as his hands went to my jawline, and cradled my cheek in his palm.

"I'm coming with you," I whispered, feeling his lips, lightly brush against mine, guiding his tongue past my lips, and into my mouth. Before I could react, he was already pulling away.

"No, you're not," Squall winked, while walking off.

I sat down on a nearby rock and laid my head in my hands. "Fuck."

For an innocent teenager with no experience at all, he sure knew what he was doing. The way he moved my jaw and directed my lips to his. Hell, he basically showed me how he liked it. There must have been someone else before any of this happened. I don't know if that made me mad or excited. Hyne, he's so confusing.

...Lisa...

I jumped up from the rock, hearing an extremely unwelcoming voice. Scratchy, like nails to a chalk board, but it whispered, smoothly in the wind. I turned around, finding nothing there, in all directions. Not liking the situation, I started to run by the ship, relieved when I entered the hallway.

...Almost there my puppet...such a pretty toy...so strong...so brave...

The first thing that came to my mind was Squall. I started to run, faster. Up the stairs, through the halls, and through the ice rink. I don't know how I managed to slip past the ice, but I made it. I heard the familiar clash of a sword and ran towards the assembly room.

My feet ached and my arms must have hit something. Every muscle in my body felt like they were set on fire. I wasn't use to running and my body is doing a great job reminding me. Edea faints, slightly. Thank God. Adel was leaving her body, which would mean she's moving to Rinoa's?

"Where is Ellone?!" Edea yelled as she, frantically searched the room. "Where is she?!"

"Rinoa-"

Squall turned at the sound of my voice, his eye widening in fear, as he looks to the side, and rushed towards me.

"Squall what is it?" I asked, awkwardly. "Squall?"

The doors slammed and locked. I traced along the edges, trying to pry them open. Until, the loud banging from the door stopped. I stepped backwards, watching the surroundings turn white, and the noise replaced with sobs.

"Squall, I'm scared."

-

...He can't hear you...you're lost to him...

I rubbed at my arms, suddenly feeling cold. I followed the noise, reaching a small girl, who refused to look up from the ground. She was beautiful. Locks of gold, curling down to her back. Pale skin, as white as her dress. A dress you'd wear on Easter.

"I don't want to die," she gasped, rubbing at her eyes. "I don't want to leave my mommy."

...Lisa...

"Yes," the girl and I said in unison. My throat clenching, as I looked back down at the little girl. It was me.

"Your name is Lisa, too," she sniffled, giggling a bit as she relaxed. "It makes me feel better."

I held onto her hand and walked towards the streets that had appeared. It was my block, bringing this unexplainable happiness to my heart. Like all the weight had suddenly been lifted. The girl pointed to our house, bouncing up and down in excitement.

When she had reached the door, she evaporated. My hand stayed on the knob, almost not wanting to open it, but I had to. I had to know that their okay. A gush of wind blew through my hair, bathing me in the smell of home. The detergent we used, the perfume my mom wore, and the aftershave my father put on every day.

I took my shoes off, squishing my feet against the carpet. Was this for real? I went inside the living-room, surprised to see no one there. They'd always be watching TV. Always laughing at that stupid comedy hour show. I laughed to myself at the remembrance.

"...Ma'am I'm sorry to report this, but we just got word about your daughter..."

"Not my only daughter..."

I rushed into the kitchen, hearing my mother's voice. She held a tissue to her chest, shaking in my father's arms. He kept his head down, tears flowing onto her shirt, as her tears soaked his shoulder. Helplessly and wildly, she hit at his chest, before falling into his embrace. "Li...sa!"

...They've forgotten all about your light...never coming back home...

"Never..." I trailed off, softly. My hands went to my mom's shoulder, but just like I expected, it went right through her. My knees quaked and I fell to the ground, being supported on my hands, that were already weak to begin with.

I reached out where my mom's hair would be, not even feeling the silky strands. Just going right through it. Tears fell, loosely. They felt frozen against my skin, almost soothing down my fevered cheeks. I wiped away at them, slowly trying to get up, but it was no use.

"She's okay, I know she is. This is all just a mistake, Lisa's not dead. I know it," my mother heaved. "I know my Lisa. She promised-always promised."

The room had changed, shifting into a candlelit atmosphere. Beautiful, if it wasn't for all of the black. The majority of people were dressed in dark and I knew almost all of them. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, extended family, and of course my parents. The place should have just been outside.

Leafs blew against the black carpet, matching the flowers that hung from each row. It looked so dead. My father stood up at the stand, saying something, but I couldn't hear it. All that I was allowed to hear was breathing and it wasn't mine. I take it this was my funeral. I should feel dead, why don't I feel dead?

Everything else is.

...We all live in our...nightmares...your promises...are far away...

I stopped at the end of the isle and hesitated over the awaiting casket. My fingers, delicately touched the latches, as I undid them. Another breeze passed by, swaying my hair in my face. I ignored it, thinking it's better I don't get a perfect view of my body in a casket.

It opened before I could even lift it. The body's eyes flew open. I would have screamed if I could have found my voice. I fell back, watching death crawl out of my box. It didn't really look that dead, I guess now that it's moving. The duplicate sort of smirked, a devious look in it's eyes, as it walked towards me.

"Lisa..." it murmured as it lifted me up by my collar, until we were face to face. "Look me in the eyes, do you feel it?"

I was pushed against a wall, staring into a pair of the same hazel eyes. There was something off, though. Something more evil, something much more darker. "After Adel uses us, I have a plan to escape this...awful mess."

Adel?! Oh, dear God. I'm going to KILL Rinoa. This gives her time to, oh no. Get me the hell out of here. "Let go of me."

It's smile widened, gripping my throat. A closeness that had my mind reeling, my senses tinglin, and my breathing shallow. It was becoming stronger and I felt like I was being rocked into a deep sleep. "Lisa, we want out, don't we?"

I nodded, trying my best to keep my eyes open. "Home."

The body chuckled, "Yes. That, too."

Nails stopped digging into my neck, letting me fall to the floor. My dead-half was staring at me for a moment, probably pondering on what to say next. When it wasn't talking, I choked a bit, taking it as an okay to breathe now. "How would we go back?"

"Death of course. The only way out of life and the only way in it." It's arms encircled me, holding me against it's non-beating chest. "It won't hurt. A weapon designed for killing. Symbol of death and life. Use this and it'll bring us back home... and victory will be all the sweeter..."

Victory? What the hell is it talking about? I shook my head, as if trying to chase the spell away. I'm not dying, there is no victory in that, unless of course, this 'thing' is talking about itself. "They need me...Squall needs me, and I'm not leaving without him."

I pushed myself up from the ground and looked into it's eyes. "If you want me dead so bad, you kill me."

"...I will."

With that, my sword was already impaled into my chest. My knees buckled beneath me, and blood dripped from my chest and onto the floor. It looked to the mess and bent down, gripping my chin with it's claws. "Soon, you'll be able to feel it and taste it, my child."

The duplicate pushed the button in and the blade went back down, roughly. I groaned, feeling a burning sensation where the metal had gone. This obviously wasn't real, but the thought alone made it hurt. I caught the blood that started to leak from my lips, laughing at it, "Squall will kill you."

It's foot kicked me back, followed by it sitting on my chest. It grimaced down at me, brushing my hair away from my face. "You think he can save you? we don't deserve love, and you know this. We're just in love with the thought of being in love. Let's just end this charade and go back home."

It's hands moved over my chest and erased the wound. Playful replaced the once powerful, and more darker look. The glare got heavier, as it pushed against my stomach. I wondered if I normally looked this dangerous. Eyes that burned off of your soul. An intimidating allure to the way it moved. I don't remember being so...is that sensual?

Lisa Cardaci is ANYTHING, but sensual. I am a dork. A girl without confidence and a hopeless romantic. "I'm staying with Squall until Hironobu comes for me and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it."

It shielded it's eyes, as I imagined something strong, and something beautiful. A light that's strong enough to eat at this corps and destroy it. I imagined an ending. One happy and true. My parents, Yutaka, and even the gang. The spring and my mother's garden.

Light and warmth. Squall and I outside of my house. Him, seeing how life is without having to fight. Squall's smile, Squall's laugh, Squall's reassuring gaze, Squall's love, and Squall's lips. Squall's passion, Squall's light, Squall's protection, Squall's warmth, and his hope. He is this light.

I closed my eyes and started to lull myself back and forth. "You're not real and I'm afraid of you. You're not real and I'm not afraid of you. You're not real and I'm not afraid you..."

When I looked up, everything was gone. It was back to my living-room and the sun was shining in through the blinds.

...Enjoy it...While you still can...soon you'll escort me to My Resurrection...

-

Seifer: Review it, ladies. Do it if you love me and I know you all do.

Lady_Saktaka: God, he's sick.

Seifer: Me? Nah.

Lady_Saktaka: Thank you for reading ;)