Eternal Fall

Final Fantasy and its characters are the property of Square Enix.
Warning: Sexual situations


Eternal Fall: part XV: Newness

Cloud walked slowly through the dense trees, trying to clear his head. His spiky blonde hair was caught in the pine needles more than a few times. He only brushed them away, not thinking much about his destination. He saw an opening up ahead as the sun started to set and as its light came through the trees in shimmering blades. He approached the opening slowly, and peered down at the spring not far below him. And there, standing directly beneath the gentle waterfall with his back towards Cloud was Sephiroth.

Cloud inhaled and watched as the older young man stood there in the cold water, all of his clothes tossed to the side on the rocks. The water in that spring would normally reach the tall young man's shoulders, but he stood on a rock that rested beneath the water, so that he was exposed from the waist up. The cold water that fell over him caused his silver hair to shine and sparkle in the light of the setting sun. His hair was so long that it either stuck to his wet body and dipped beneath the water, or it flowed away from him in all directions. But as if answering Cloud's silent prayer, he pulled his thick silver hair in front of him, allowing both the sun’s last warm rays and the cold water of the falls shower his back completely. Although the water was cold, his perfect muscles looked relaxed. Although his body wasn't tense, Cloud knew he was there to calm his thoughts.

"He's got a nice ass, huh?" Zack said softly, startling the young blonde.

Cloud looked over to see Zack peering over a rock and staring just as Cloud was. Well, not quite in the same way Cloud was....

"...And you should have seen the view when he turned around," Zack continued. "If he shrinks in the cold, it ain't by much!"

Cloud couldn't help but blush. Zack was so open with people, and sometimes he said things that would even make Sephiroth's cheeks gain a slight hint of color. But it wasn't only what Zack said to him just now. It was also the fact that Zack caught him staring.

Zack suddenly jumped up and started to strip his clothes off. Cloud averted his eyes, but couldn't help but smile as he watched Zack run down the dirt path to the spring. The raven-haired young man dove into the water, causing Sephiroth to turn around. Cloud was glad to see Sephiroth smile gently. It meant he wasn't completely bothered. And Cloud would have been perfectly content watching the nude, hard bodied young men in the spring, but Zack suddenly pointed at him and yelled at him to join.

"Come on, Cloud! You don't have anything we haven't seen before!"

This made Sephiroth and Cloud both twitch slightly. Zack didn't know how right he was. The raven-haired young man had no idea just what had happened or whaty hay had shared the night before he returned. He only knew that the two were quieter than normal. When he asked Cloud if Sephiroth tried to hurt him, Cloud only replied, "No, I enjoyed being with him.... He didn't force me to do anything." And Zack, being innocent... for once... only smiled, blissfully unaware of Cloud's consensual "rape."

Cloud sighed and wandered down to the spring. When he got there, Zack practically ripped his clothes off of him and pushed him into the cold water. Cloud slowly swam around until he found a rock to sit on near the middle of the spring. When he sat the water came up to his chest. He felt a little silly being the skinniest and shortest one there, but Sephiroth and Zack didn't have a judgmental bone in their bodies.

"So, why have you two been so quiet?" Zack asked, splashing them both. "I swear, I go home for a little while and you two turn into zombies."

Cloud and Sephiroth glanced at each other for an instant, but didn't say anything.

"You two need some lovin' or something," Zack grinned. "Or did you get into a fight?" he asked, looking concerned for only an instant as he turned to Cloud. "Did Sephiroth try to stick his sword in you?"

"Zack..." Sephiroth said softly, we didn't fight. "We're just... in thought. That's what happens when you put withdrawn people in one house for a while."

Cloud nodded.

"Darn, and I thought you two were going to have insane sexual relations after I left."

Sephiroth stared at Zack, his tranquility completely hiding the way the comment hit him. Cloud, on the other hand, was not so serene. His face flushed immediately. Sephiroth noticed this and looked at Cloud with sympathetic eyes... until he realized Zack was staring at him. The raven-haired young man's smile had vanished, and he was now staring at both of them with his mouth hanging open. His mind put together every last detail of Sephiroth's and Cloud's behavior over the past couple days... and he came to his conclusion.

"OOOOOH SHIT!" he yelled, covering his mouth with his hands. "You guys... you did..."

Cloud groaned softly and hugged his knees. Sephiroth flushed just slightly.

"YOU DID! SHIT! What the... when the hell...! I didn't even see... WHAT THE?!"

The two could only watch as Zack stared at each of them, then went on rant after rant. Finally he looked at Cloud.

"...So how was he...?" Zack asked, grinning. "I mean, I wouldn't want Seph inside of me with that huge--"

Sephiroth made his way over to Zack and dunked his head underwater.

"It's a simple question!" Zack laughed, trying to dunk his friend back.

"It's a private matter!" Sephiroth said, trying not to smile.

"He was great," Cloud said suddenly.

Sephiroth sto sud suddenly, surprised that Cloud would talk about it. Cloud only smiled at the two, who stood there frozen while remaining in a position in which they could effectively strangle each other. After a few moments, Zack felt Sephiroth's hands slide away as the silver-haired young man lowered his head.

"No... Cloud isn't telling the truth. She came to me again. She took over. I hurt him... maybe even worse than you...."

Zack's smile faded away, and he put a hand on his friend's shoulder. He looked over at Cloud, who was already shaking his head.

"No, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. Who... who is 'she?' Who came to him?"

"We don't know," Zack said softly. "But she's killing Seph slowly from the inside. She controls him... and makes him do things he would never even think to do."

"I couldn't stop her," Sephiroth said lowly. "I failed again."

"Sephiroth didn't hurt me!" Cloud insisted. "When he was himself, he didn't hurt me at all. That's all that matters! What matters is who he was when he was completely himself."

The two older young men looked up at Cloud, and Zack nodded.

"He's right, Seph. You can't blame yourself anytanything that happens when she comes out. In fact... part of the reason I brought you on this trip was so we could get you to open up. We need to get rid of the feelings you've been burying. That way, you can beat her. Okay?"

Sephiroth nodded slightly. And soon, the three were out of the water, heading for the campsite that was not far off.

"My will has grown stronger over the years, and I hadn't even realized it. I was finally able to force her out of my life until my own pain got so strong that she managed to speak to me again through my weakness."

"What do you feel pain about, Seph?" Zack asked, looking up at the stars as they sat around the fire.

"Of all the things I will tell you, I can't tell you what I've been through. The demonic woman already hurt both of you. I won't have the ShinRa after you also."

"But--"

"You both have helped already, Zack. You're my first friends. Every time she took over, you remained by my side. And every time you bring me back, she grows more powerless. I think there is very little she can do now to take me again."

"I... I'm sorry that I encouraged her..." Cloud spoke up suddenly. "You were just trying so hard... and it seemed as though it was killing you...."

Zack jumped up. "I think you two need some alone time. I'm coming back soon though. So don't whip anything out."

Sephiroth threw nuts at Zack's head as he walked away grinning.

"Cloud, it's okay. I shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place."

"You didn't. You weren't in control when it started, and I only encouraged it. And then... you wanted it to end... but I just couldn't stop myself."

Sephiroth stared at the ground for a moment.

"I know," Cloud continued, "That you probably don't know how to express what you're feeling. Not just emotionally, but physically. You never got to live as a normal person, right? I understand that you're probably upset about what I did. And... and... oh no... DO YOU EVEN LIKE MEN?!"

Sephiroth blinked as panic took over Cloud's face. "I don't know, Cloud. It's okay."

Cloud shook his head. "It's not okay!"

"Cloud," Sephiroth said, staring at the fire. "I was completely weakened by that event. I hardly had the strength to move. I was in horrible pain. But if I really wanted to stop you, I could have. I would have found a way. But instead I left it in your hands. I put that burden on you, which wasn't right."

Cloud nodded after a long while.

"You're right," Sephiroth continued. "I don't really have urges. I didn't know how to express my thoughts that night. I didn't know what my body wanted or what I was feeling. But I do know that after she was gone, something was different. I don't regret it."

Cloud looked up and stared at him with his deep blue eyes, and Sephiroth stood and walked over to him. He sat down next to him and met his gaze.

"I wanted to keep going, and I did. And it felt good. I don't know if I could ever feel like that again because of all that's happened to me in the past. I don't know if I could ever build up passion like that again. But for that time, I knew what it meant to feel a certain way. I thank you for that."

Cloud nodded, and his mood had definitely brightened. "So you don't regret it at all?"

Sephiroth tilted his head and looked at him for a moment. "You're so young that it hurts me a little to think about what I did to you."

"I'm just two or three years younger than Zack," Cloud said.

"And he's a few years younger than me," Sephiroth smiled.

"It doesn't matter how old I am."

"...I'm also your superior. As much as I care for you and Zack it's getting harder to work with both of you. I think I'll have to move to another area of the base."

"But you'll still see us as friends?"

"Of course."

"So it's okay."

Sephiroth nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~

After the vacation was over, things were back to routine on the ShinRa military base. Sephiroth decided to walk around and think some more.

"Sephiroth," a soft voice suddenly spoke.

you young general turned around and saw the one who spoke. His eyes caught the clean blue suit before anything else. But then he registered the long, straight black hair and wickedly slanted dark eyes.

"Good afternoon, Tseng," Sephiroth said, approaching the calm and collected Turk.

"There is something I must bring to your attention," Tseng said as he pulled out a cigarette.

Sephiroth reached forward and lit it for him by creating a tiny flame on his fingertip.

"Thank you," Tseng said, not the least bit surprised. "Now, about your relationship with your lesser soldiers...."

Now he had the young general's full attention.

"To put it bluntly, there are people who fear that you might get a little too close to the soldiers you instruct. And people are a little fearful of you teaching anyone anything because you are so powerful."

Sephiroth relaxed when he realized that Tseng wasn't referring to anyone in particular. He thought that perhaps the Turk knew of his friendships with Zack or Cloud or even Aeris.

"President ShinRa has a proposal for you. You are to stop instructing here."

"A way to keep me from getting close to people."

"And a way to see that less people get to know anything about you," Tseng leaned in, "So we don't have to kill as many people in case you commit some crime against the government."

Sephiroth was surprised at Tseng's honesty.

"I understand," Sephiroth said. "But, what are my duties then? I'm still on what they consider to be a rest period after the Wutai war."

"Yes, it was decided the rest period was necessary. After all, you were there for many years. They thought they would have to give you time to calm your nerves." He savored the smoke of the cigarette. "Your current job... is absolutely nothing."

Sephiroth blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me right. Your only duty now is to continue training so you don't get weak. Although Hojo insists that won't be a problem with you. You simply take time off. And this time, it will be a true vacation."

Sephiroth rose an eyebrow. "I don't think I can do that."

"Of course you can. It will be a new experience for you. The terms of this rest period should already be at the dormitory where you watch over the recruits." Tseng smiled and started to walk away. "Most of us rarely get time off, Sephiroth. Enjoy it while you can."

~~~~~~~~~~

"An actual vacation? That's great, Seph!" Zack grinned as he flopped down on Sephiroth's bed in the dorm.

"You need a vacation," Cloud nodded.

Sephiroth sighed softly. "I went camping, wasn't that enough?"

"You aren't supposed to look at time off that way!" Zack laughed.

"You probably just don't know how to use all of that free time, right?" Cloud asked.

"No, I don't. It seems almost pointless."

"That's the point," Zack said, sitting up.

Sephiroth looked down at the floor. He knew the truth. After the war had ended, the ShinRa had made their full use of him. There would be no major wars any time soon. They didn't need him at this time, yet he was too dangerous in their eyes to let go of. They were trying to make him feel as though he had freedom while still holding on to him. If he decided to leave, he'd be killed, as would anyone who was too close to him.

"So what are you going to do?" Cloud asked.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Zack and Cloud jumped up and stood at attention while Sephiroth walked over to the door. When he opened it, there was a young man standing there. Sephiroth found himself staring straight into the young man's eyes, which were an eerie pitch black color. It was as though light itself wouldn't go near those eyes. The young man had long, blazing red hair, which was tied back into a neat ponytail. He was nearly Sephiroth's height, and he had a very dark sort of beauty to him. He stood tall and proud, but the three in the room noticed something very cold about him.

"I forgot," Zack said suddenly. "General, this is the new recruit who is replacing the one who went missing not long ago. For some reason they want to keep the dorms filled to capacity."

Sephiroth nodded and let the young man inside.

"Dismissed," he said to Cloud.

"Sir! Yes sir!" Cloud said before hurrying out.

"State your name," Sephiroth said to the young man who stood that at attention.

"Ki Hino, sir," the young man said. He didn't say it coldly, but for some reason, it sounded that way.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen, sir."

"Do you know where your room is?" Zack asked.

"Yes, sir. I'm already set up," he said, looking at Zack with his dark eyes.

Sephiroth looked over the paperwork. "You know of your duties from now on?"

"Yes sir, I do."

"Good. You're dismissed then."

Ki saluted and then walked out, closing the door behind him.

Sephiroth watched him go before glancing at Zack.

"What the hell just happened?" Zack asked. "He was scary! Did you get a good look at those eyes?!"

"Yes. There was something about him.... Something very odd."

"Shit, his room is next to mine," Zack muttered. "I feel bad for the guy who has to be his roommate."

Sephiroth smiled. "I know you will give him a chance, Zack. You always do."

Zack shivered. "Yea, but if he tries anything funny, I don't know what I'll do."

"And I won't be here to help you anymore."

"Yea..." Zack said, frowning. "So, where are you going?"

"I'll stay in my home on the edge of the base until they find a more remote place for me. Then we can have sex with no one to bother us."

Zack's jaw dropped.

"I beat you to that comment, didn't I?" Sephiroth grinned.

"Don't ever do that again!" Zack laughed. "It's just wrong coming from you."

"And it's okay when you do it?"

"Yea," Zack smiled. "You're too innocent."

~~~~~~~~~~

Cloud nearly jumped up the wall when he felt the icy hand on his shoulder. He turned around quickly to see the new recruit.

"I startled you. Forgive me. I saw you earlier, but only for a second. My name i. K. Ki Hino."

Cloud caught his breath and nodded. "Cloud Strife."

"It's nice to meet you, Cloud."

Cloud practically felt the ice in Ki's tone, but only when he said Cloud's name. The rest oft het he said seemed perfectly normal. In fact, aside from his pitch black eyes, he seemed like a perfectly normal, nice person. Cloud even questioned the chill that ran up his spine as the two stood there in the dark dorm hallway.

"Where are you from?" Cloud asked.

Ki only smiled. "Very far away. A very dark and dangerous place that brings up very dark memories. We shouldn't speak of such things. Where are you from, Cloud?"

"Nibelheim. No darkness. No dangeJustJust... Nibelheim."

"I see," Ki smiled. "You were bored."

Cloud smiled slightly and nodded. Ki's voice was almost soothing. It was gentle, yet it flowed so smoothly from his lips.

"We have something in common," Ki said, pointing to Cloud's scarred arm.

Cloud blinked and looked at his razor inflicted cuts. He usually wore the long-sleeved uniform, so he never had to worry about people seeing what he'd done to himself. But he was in a simple t-shirt now since he had taken a shower.

"Yea..." Cloud managed to say. "I'm trying to quit."

"Really?" Ki smiled darkly. "I'm not."

I'm not. Those words flowed so seductively from the young man's mouth.

"General Sephiroth and Zack would kill you if they found out..." Cloud said after a moment.

"It's so hard to quit," Ki said, taking a step closer to the young blonde. "I like the way the blade cuts into me again and again, making that pleasurable pain until that beautiful hot liquid erupts." He leaned in slowly so Cloud could hear him whisper. "And I'm not just talking about blood."

Cloud stood there, frozen in place. Ki smirked and walked past him to his room.

"Goodnight, Cloud," he said as if nothing disturbing had escaped his mouth. Cloud couldn't even respond. He only watched the red-headed young man leave before entering his own room and going to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next couple weeks starto gro grow very boring over time for Zack. He made friends with some of the other first-class soldiers, but they were no where near as close to him as Sephiroth was. But Sephiroth had been gone these past weeks, and no one had heard anything from him. He wasn't in the dorms, on the training grounds, or even in his home on the edge of the base. Zack came to the conclusion that Sephiroth was lying low for a while to make it seem as though he had no one to come back for.

Wanting to hear some noise and voices, he left his door open as he wrote a letter to Aeris. He could hear the low chattering and sometimes the occasional noise. Of course, people would be on good behavior now that his door was open. He began to wonder if it was really important to have most of the recruits afraid of him. No one had ever really given him any trouble anyway. It was usually calm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Spoke too soon. Zack heard the scream and rushed into the hallway to see a group of the young men backing away from the door next to his. He walked over to them, and they started pointing inside. He looked into the room, and had to look away just as fast.

"All right, get back to your rooms!" Zack yelled. "All of you, get back inside and close your doors."

Zack swallowed hard and looked back at the young man who hanged himself from the ceiling. He was dead, and had probably been this way for hours now. One of the his friends probably opened the door to say hello, only to see him like this. His eyes had rolled back and he had lost control of his bowels as he hung there. Zack shook his head as he called authorities suited for the situation. He then returned to take a quick look around the room, to see if there was anything odd that might need to be taken care of right away. This young man's side of the room was very messy, as if he had tossed things about in a fit of anger. But what was more disturbing was the other side. Ki Hino's side... it was spotless, as if nothing bad ever came from that side.

Suddenly a cold hand fell on Zack's shoulder.

"OHMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!" he yelled, nearly stumbling into a wall.

"Don't worry. He didn't come back from the dead..." Ki said softly.

"Hino..." Zack said, his heart pounding. "Where the hell did you come from?!"

Ki stood there, staring at the body that dangled from the ceiling. "Can we get him down?"

"Unfortunately, no," Zack said, not looking at the dead boy. “People need to take pictures and investigate first.”

Heavy footsteps ran down the hall, and soon Zack and Ki had to get out of the way. Zack allowed Ki to sit in his room for a while. Soon a few other officers were in there to question him, and Zack waited outside patiently. But after everyone was gone, he still wanted to talk about what happened.

"Did you suspect anything?" Zack asked him, as he walked back into the room. "Did he act odd at all?"

"No, sir. I thought we were getting along quite nicely," Ki said plainly. "Although, he did have a dark thought here and there, it wasn't as though he was much different from others around here."

In an instant, a dark smile spread across Ki's lips. Zack sat there, hiding his uneasiness. There was something about this young man that had most people on edge. And as much as Zack hated to say it, he wasn't all that surprised that the person who hung himself happened to be Hino's roommate.

"You look like someone I know," Ki said. "He has aged considerably, but he has a thing for strong bodies and dark hair. He'd love to have a body like yours."

Had anyone else said something like this, Zack would have had them doing push-ups until they burned all over. But Ki's voice had him mesmerized for some reason. He registered the words, but only stared back at Ki in response. It wasn't until he heard a knock on his open door that he broke the gaze.

"I know everyone else has a full room, sir," Cloud said, walking in and standing up straight. "Ki can room with me tonight, sir."

Zack only nodded. "Go with Cloud, Ki. Don't stay in your room tonight."

Ki nodded and smiled at Cloud before walking into his room and getting a few of his things.

"I didn't want him to get in your way," Cloud said softly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was there. "He doesn't seem like the type of person you'd get along with."

"Maybe he should stay here," Zack said. "I don't want to dump him off on a loner like you."

"Trust me, it's okay. I think we have some things in common."

Ki appeared in the doorway again, and Cloud led him to his dorm room. Zack sat there on his bed, staring at the wall. How did Ki put him into such a trance like that? There was something very strange and eerie going on. Zack wasn't going to let Hino stay out of his sight for long.

~~~~~~~~~~

"It's your bed. You sleep there," Ki said, moving towards the bed Cloud set up on the floor.

"No," Cloud said, blocking his way. "Really, I mean it, take the bed."

Ki finally nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed as Cloud sat on the blanket on the floor.

"So... what do you think was wrong with him?" Cloud asked. "Or did you want to talk about something else?"

"It's fine," Ki said. "I don't know what set him off. It was if everything that was horrible in his life had suddenly magnified."

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't see the body."

"It was a beautiful shell of a person," Ki said, a slight smile on his face.

Suddenly Cloud felt something grip his heart for an instant, and when he looked up it seemed as though Ki was staring straight into his south tth those black eyes of his.

"You seem like the kind of person who keeps a lot of secrets, Cloud. You keep to yourself so often."

"Guess I'm just... used to it."

"Aren't you afraid of being lonely?" Ki said, sliding onto the floor at sitting not far from Cloud.

"...I guess I..." Cloud began, suddenly feeling the weight of his loneliness. "I guess I feel lonely sometimes. But... it's okay. I was never very social."

"I understand what you mean. It's hard to think of what the future will hold. Sometimes it's easier to work with what's happening in the moment."

Suddenly Cloud felt the ache of his old self-inflicted cuts all over his body, even though they had all healed. But it happened so fast that he wasn't even sure it had happened. He assumed he just zoned out for a moment.

"I guess that's where all of this immediate, physical gratification comes in," Ki said, looking at his own scarred forearms. "Eating, sleeping, cutting, fucking... whatever feels good now. The future doesn't seem to matter when the past is so messed up."

Cloud only nodded as he stared into Ki's eyes.

"But I'm a little different from you, Cloud," Ki said, leaning back against the bed. "I like having everything physical. I like my pain. Pain feels good, and it's so fascinating."

Another wave of emotion washed over Cloud. "Yea.... I feel like that sometimes too. I used to think I liked pain... because it let me feel."

"Used to...?" Ki smiled darkly.

"Maybe... I still do...."

"There is so much buried inside of you, Cloud," Ki said. "You shouldn't bottle it up. I'm open with people, and it may disturb them, but it does help."

Ki stood up and turned out the lights. He started to undress right there with his back to Cloud, revealing his strong body for a moment before putting on the t-shirt and shorts that most people wore to bed in the dorm. Cloud found he couldn't look away as the bright moonlight and the dim lights from the base came through the window and revealed Ki's body. But there was something very odd happening before his eyes. It was as though the darkness in the room surrounded Ki and flowed around him like a tangible being.

"What do you desire in this life, Cloud?"

Cloud blinked, and found he couldn't find an answer.

"What's buried in that heart of yours? There is a lot there, isn't there?"

Even as Ki asked him, Cloud had the strange feeling that Ki already knew about every dark desire he ever had. Finally, Cloud's mind shifted to Sephiroth. What did he want from Sephiroth? The young general was the most attractive, desirable thing he had ever laid eyes on. But what did he really want from him?

"Speak your mind," Ki's smooth voice said, flowing into his mind. "Tell me about the darkness inside of you."

The wish for pain grew inside of Cloud, as did his lust and hatred and sorrow.

"Did I say something wrong?" Ki asked gently, sitting in front of Cloud and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I will stop probing, Cloud. I apologize."

Cloud shook his head and closed his eyes. The dark ache felt good, and he wanted it fed.

"Do you really feel like sleeping?" Cloud asked suddenly.

"No," Ki smirked. "Nor do I feel like eating," he said, leaning in a bit closer. "And I'm not in the mood to clean up after cutting." His black eyes stared right into Cloud, and the blonde's emotions started to overflow under his gaze. "I guess that leaves fucking."


~*~*~*To Be Continued*~*~*~

(Does Ki Hino look familiar to anyone? He is an original character, but his first introduction was in my other story, “Tainted Eyes,” in which he appeared very briefly under another name. All of my stories are meant to cross over, meaning that this one will have to end at a certain point in order for the other to work. Every now and then I think it‘s necessary to include people besides Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack. After all, it seems as though they would have had to interact with a lot of people. Anyway, thanks for the reviews and emails everyone! I read them all in detail!)