Hurt

Disclaimer: the characters and places contained herein do not belong to me and I make no claim or money from this. I can’t even claim responsibility for most of the idea because it came from both Race Ulfson and the song “Hurt” covered by Johnny Cash.

With many thanks to Pixie for betaing, Acid Rain and Astraea.

This fanfiction is dedicated in its entirety to Race Ulfson, also known as the beta babe who usually previews all my stuff and tells me where I’ve screwed up.
Hurt.
For Race.

Hurt – Epilogue

The sun was just beginning to rise by the time they reached WinHill; the streets bathed in that early morning haze that made it feel sleepy and safe. Somehow he felt as though it had always been his home, he just hadn’t known it until he pulled into the peaceful streets of the village with Squall asleep on his shoulder.

Knocking the car out of gear – it had taken him a while to get used to the paddle gearbox on the steering column, and he’d had to watch Squall wince time and time again every time he’d shifted gear – he turned his head to kiss Squall’s temple. “Baby?”

The younger man grumbled softly at being disturbed from his slumber, nuzzling against Seifer as he blinked blearily at his surroundings. He’d fallen asleep after an hour on the road, his cheek pressed to Seifer’s shoulder and his face relaxed. Squall was exhausted, even he could see that and Seifer was determined to help him heal, and rest. Just as soon as they were safely in their home.

“Come on, sunshine. We’re home,” Seifer nudged Squall gently watching him sit up and rub his eyes.

Squall pointed to the pub that had once belonged to his mother, stretching as much as the seat would allow. “That one. That’s our place,” he smiled, turning his head to watch Seifer.

The pub had seen better days, admittedly. It needed work, the paint was peeling in places and one of the shutters hung at an awkward angle, but Seifer couldn’t see any of that. He simply sat there, looking at it for a moment, smiling before he pulled up in front of the building. The our in that sentence had sent a thrill of possessiveness and contentment through his veins. “Then I suppose we should get inside,” he mused.

“Mm,” Squall nodded. “Don’t expect too much, it needs work. We can unload the car after we sleep.”

He laughed softly. He’d expected that, Squall still looked tired, his head heavy with sleep. “Yeah, I guessed as much,” Seifer slipped out of the car and around to help his lover out of his seat. He lifted his lover, careful not to jar his shoulder, and shut the door behind him. Squall set something in his hand as he took the car keys from him, turning to lock the vehicle.

Seifer looked down at the key in his hand. The weight was so solid in his hand, suddenly so very real. He squeezed the brass form tight in his hand, letting it mark his flesh, letting it brand him even if it would only last mere minutes. He promised the house, his lover, and himself that this time it would be alright. This time, everything would be perfect.

“Welcome home,” Squall murmured, watching him from beneath dark lashes, the early morning sun catching those Shiva touched silver eyes and making them glitter darkly.

“You too,” the older man smiled, bending to press a kiss to Squall’s mouth, gentle and caring. Only when he could stand to tear himself away from his lover for more than a few seconds again did he turn and unlock the door.

Taking his lover’s hand in his own pale one, Squall lead Seifer inside. He paused only long enough to lock the door after them before he lead the taller man through the bar and upstairs. The place was stark and bare, the only furniture present a brand new sofa bed, and a few pieces that the previous owner had left, covered in plastic. A few boxes stood waiting, brand new things that had been delivered just that day. The inside needed more work than the outside and the air felt faintly musty.

Seifer glanced behind him, frowning faintly. He could have sworn he’d seen someone out of the corner of his eye watching them from the base of the stairs down in bar itself, but he felt no threatening presence, and saw nothing when he looked. Despite that, the place had a safe feel to it but he wouldn’t let Squall go. “Sleep with me,” he asked, his voice soft.

“Anytime.”

It took only a few minutes to unfold the sofa bed, and Seifer peeled Squall out of his clothes as he glanced around. “”What is this place? I mean… how did you get it?”

Squall whimpered in pain briefly, ducking out of his shirt. He cradled his injured arm against his chest as he pulled a quilt from one of the waiting boxes. “It was my mothers. When I was looking for somewhere to live – something I could buy with the money I had saved, I saw it was available and… Well I hoped that you knew something about running a bar,” he paused, looking toward the bedroom at the other end of the room. He would do something about getting a bed delivered tomorrow. Seifer would only whine if the sofa bed made him ache as they were often wont to do. “I was born here.”

“Only fitting that you come back, then.”

With a small smile, Squall led his lover to the waiting mattress. He pulled the pillows over and let Seifer spread the quilt over the bed. “Sis – Ellone’s parents lived right next door. When they were killed, Raine took her in.”

Seifer crawled in after Squall, wrapping him up in strong arms and cuddling as close as he could. “Raine,” he sighed softly, his contentment plain. So perfect. So right.

“Raine Leonhart,” the younger man nodded. He touched his fingertips to Seifer’s lips gently, smiling fondly at the blonde and the sappy expression he wore when he felt that tender, careful touch. “I think I have her habit of looking after strays.”

“You won’t ever hear me complain.”

“Of course I will,” Squall rolled his eyes. Seifer not complaining was like Irvine not flirting, Zell not craving hotdogs and Quistis not giving inane lectures at the drop of a hat all rolled into one. Whenever Seifer stopped complaining he would know that something really was wrong.

“Mouthy brat,” Seifer laughed, squeezing Squall just a little tighter and shifting to lay his head on the smaller man’s chest. He was careful to avoid the injured limb, and he smiled when he felt Squall laid one hand on the back of his head, toying with his hair as gently as one would touch a sleeping infant.

“I think we’ll be okay here.”

Hiding a yawn, Seifer closed his eyes. “I’m okay wherever you are, Squall.”

He didn’t answer. Squall couldn’t voice the words while Seifer was still awake, even though he wanted to very much. Instead, he waited until Seifer’s breathing fell into that familiar even pattern that meant he was indeed asleep.

This time, he wouldn’t give in. He wouldn’t let his own boredom and anger and desperation get the better of him. He had more to live for now, he had his lover and his own place. He would be better this time, away from garden and the self destructive tendencies of his past. He would live his own life and he would be himself. He would be what both he and Seifer needed.

Lifting his head, Squall pressed a whisper of a kiss onto his lover’s golden blond hair. “Then, Seifer,” he said, his voice so faint it was barely audible before he laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes to the golden light of early morning that peered through the windows. “I hope you’re okay, forever,”



If I could start again, a million miles away
I would keep myself, I would find a way.

~Fin~



Author’s notes:

First of all, thank you to Race Ulfson – for letting me take a fic I loved and write something similar (if you haven’t read hero – go find it. Like… now. Or when you’ve finished reading these notes anyway.) Thank you to Pixxers for roleplaying most of this fic with me because I don’t think I could have written Seifer like that if I’d tried without her. Thank yous to Acid Rain, Alpha Trion and Astraea for putting up with me babbling about it over the past year.

And thank you for reading it, especially if you've been sticking with me over the last 13 months or so.

Now… Someday there will be a sequel. I can’t guarantee when since I’m currently swamped with work, study and other fics are in the works – but there will be one. Just please, be patient with me. In the mean time, I’m around halfway done on the first draft of the next multi chapter, so look for that later this year.

And one more time for the road – Thank you :)