Eternal Fall

Final Fantasy and its characters are the property of Square Enix.


Eternal Fall: part XVII: Growing Pains

A cool hand touched his forehead and pushed his raven hair away from his face. He felt that cool touch pulling him out of his nightmare, calming his tense body with nothing but a careful caress. Zack inhaled the subtle scent before opening his blue-violet eyes. It was a little like incense. The same smell that was found in his memory. It was a scent that was all over his friend's room... meant to calm and make the body feel warm.

"It's been months," Zack said softly, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Sephiroth, who sat next to him on his bed.

"I know. I'm sorry," Sephiroth smiled gently, turning his hand on Zack's forehead and holding the back of his fingertips there. "Are you sick?"

"No... just having a nightmare," Zack said, trying to sit up.

"Lie down," his friend said, pushing him back onto the bed. "Your work for the day is done."

"Thank you," Zack smiled weakly. "Oh," he said, pointing to his drawer beside the bed. "You weren't here for your birthday. I got something for you."

"I'll open it later," Sephiroth nodded. "There is something more than a nightmare bothering you. Tell me."

Zack's face was troubled in a way Sephiroth had never seen. He had lost weight, and his eyes were so tired. Sephiroth realized that the melodies he sent to Zack every now and then were playing in a loop very softly.

"I missed you," Zack grinned.

"That isn't it."

"No, I guess it isn't," he frowned as he sat up.

Sephiroth blinked and slowly pulled him into a hug. Zack couldn't help but smile at the innocence of it all. He knew that Sephiroth wasn't all that comfortable with initiating close human contact. He also knew that Sephiroth didn't know what society thought men should and shouldn't do. He only knew that Sephiroth wanted to make him feel better, and went about it like a child would. Zack hugged his friend, hiding his smile.

"Why are you all bruised?" Sephiroth asked, releasing him slowly. "I know it isn't from training."

Zack swallowed. "Oh... that's..."

"These look like... marks from someone's fingers...."

Zack looked down at his body, his blue-violet eyes taking in the fresh marks. They were always there when he woke up now, as if his nightmares were real. He flinched when Sephiroth brushed his hand over the marks on his wrists. The young general noted his discomfort.

"Did someone hurt you?" Sephiroth asked, his bright green eyes sending their piercing gaze through Zack.

Zack nodded.

"Who did it? Tell me."

"I don't know how it's happening. I have nightmares now, and when I wake up, it's like this."

"What do you dream about?"

Zack sighed deeply. "The... the times I was raped by men in my hometown when I was younger...."

Sephiroth straightened. "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"It's okay," his raven-haired friend smiled weakly. "I should have been strong about it, but it always comes back to haunt me." His smile faded and left a pained look. "You know, that's the reason I stopped caring and slept around so much when I was younger. It's not like I thought sex was anything that needed to be saved or shared or anything. It's hard to see it as anything but a release when you've been fucked up the ass tons of times." Zack stopped suddenly and looked to his friend, who had only the slightest hint of being bothered by his words. Anyone else would miss it, but not Zack.

"I'm so--" Sephiroth started to apologize before Zack placed his hand over his mouth.

"Don't apologize for what that demon made you do," Zack said sternly.

Sephiroth gently pulled his hand away. "Why have these dreams been bothering you lately? Did something happen?"

"Yea, something happened," Zack said, visibly very shaken. "It's Ki Hino. He's doing something to me. It's like he can get into my head." The raven-haired young man smiled bitterly. "Does that sound crazy?"

"Not at all," Sephiroth said, helping Zack to lie down again. "Why would it?"

"He knows what you did," Zack said, turning his head away from Sephiroth. "It's like he can read my mind. He knows what happened to me. He knows what happened to Cloud. I don't know what to do! I can't prove he actually does anything because there is no evidence! In my nightmares, I have to watch my childhood rapes over and over." He swallowed hard. "And I have to do it while getting raped."

"By Ki?"

"By you...."

Sephiroth drew in a breath, and then Zack could practically see the calculations forming in his mind. He would try to get rid of Ki somehow.

"Don't mess with him, Seph. I don't want him to get to you. If he screws with your mind, remember what might happen."

"I know," Sephiroth nodded. "But I won't let him do this to you or anyone anymore. I'm glad you'll even let me in the same room as you."

"I know it isn't your fault. I know it isn't you doing it. But... shit... it still........ I still........" Zack shook his head and covered his face with his hands. Months of torture were having a deep effect on him. Sephiroth gently ran his fingers through his friend's hair, much the same way Gast had done for him, and much the same way he had done for Vincent. The harder Zack tried to keep the tears from escaping him, the more they came bursting from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Seph, it's just pretty hard to handle," Zack said, trying to calm himself.

"It must feel good to know how to cry," Sephiroth said softly. "It's probably a wonderful release."

Understanding, Zack stopped trying to hold back his tears. He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow as Sephiroth continued to run his fingers through his dark hair.

"Zack, Aeris says she loves you very much. She told me you haven't contacted her in a long time, and that isn't like you. I knew something had to be wrong, but I assured her that she had to trust you. She smiled at that, and told me to tell you she loves you and misses you."

"Thank you," Zack murmured.



It took quite some time, but Zack managed to calm himself. He went out with Sephiroth for a walk around the base.

"Where did you go?" Zack asked.

"I can't tell you that. I don't want you getting into trouble. But I will tell you that it's secluded, and they check up on me every once in a while."

"So... you're leaving again, and I won't see you for months?"

"No, I'll be around more. I found myself getting very bored. If I continue to associate with Garamonde-sensei and a few others around here, maybe the ShinRa will realize that they can't keep me isolated from people and that people will enter my life whether they like it or not."

Zack brightened, and Sephiroth smiled. They rounded the corner, and bumped into two unsuspecting recruits. Sephiroth blinked and found himself staring into two sapphire eyes.

"S... Sephiroth!" Cloud gasped. "You're back!"

Zack didn't know what to do. He thought about reminding Cloud the about the proper way to address his superiors... until he saw who Cloud was standing with. It was Ki, and Ki already knew that Cloud and Sephiroth were friends, so there was no need to put on the act. He glanced over at Ki, who stood not far behind Cloud. Ki's red hair blew in the slight breeze, freed from it's normal ponytail and looking like a trail of fire. A certain satisfaction grew inside of Zack when he saw how threatened Ki was by Sephiroth's presence.

Cloud stood there, meeting Sephiroth's gaze. He wanted to say a million things, but none of them would come to him.

"s gos good to see you again," Sephiroth said.

Cloud nodded, frozen in place.

"Cloud," Zack said, stepping in. "We'll see you later, okay? I promise to share him tonight."

Cloud nodded, feeling relieved. "I'll see you later then. Don't leave this time."

And then he departed, Ki passing Sephiroth and Zack with a small smirk crossing his lips.

"Sephiroth," Zack said softly. "I think they're involved somehow."

"Involved with what?"

"You know.... Involved. I think they're seeing each other."

"Seeing each other what?"

"I think they're having sex!"

"Oh. I understand."

"Does that bother you?"

"Should it?" Sephiroth asked, raising a brow.

"Well, I thought you and Cloud liked each other. I thought you liked each other as more than friends. You know, the way Aeris and I like each other."

Sephiroth thought about that for a moment. "I don't think I can like anyohat hat way."

Zack, not knowing how to respond to that, only nodded.

The two walked for a long time, talking about everything and nothing. Laughing, frowning, and being as friends should.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I'll report you if you touch me again, Ki. I'm tired of it. I hate myself after you're done with me. And it's though I can't control myself, but I don't like it. I dread it before it happens. I hate it after it happens."

"So you're accusing me of rape?" Ki laughed. "Well, Cloud, it's too bad there is no evidence. It's also to bad that I'll report you for being two years too young to be here. I'll also report Sephiroth for raping someone who is two years too young to be here."

Cloud winced. "Why? Why can't you find someone more willing?!"

"That isn't as fun."

"Now I know why your roommate hung himself!" Cloud yelled.

Ki looked a little bothered, then smirked. "You don't have any proof."

"And you don't have any proof about what Sephiroth did."

"But they can easily find out that you're too young to be here."

Cloud couldn't stand it. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd take Ki's abuse if it meant he could stay and make his way up to being a first class member of SOLDIER.

"I know you won't leave, Cloud. You want to be a big first class member. You want to be just like your friend Zack."

Cloud watched as Ki's expression changed. "Yes, he is perfect isn't he? Zack is strong, handsome, intelligent, and just perfect in every way, isn't he? I think I found the person I'm looking for."

"I won't let you do to Zack what you've been doing to me!"

"He isn't for me, Cloud. He's for a friend of mine."

"How many people like you exist?! How did you manage to find someone else as heartless as you?!"

"It's harder than you think."

Cloud shook his head and stalked off. He ran back to the dorm. Instead of going to his own room, he went to Zack's. Zack happily let him in, and Cloud thankfully stepped inside to talk to him and Sephiroth. He broke down, telling them everything that had been happening, leaving out some of the more hardcore details, of course.

"So what do we do about this guy?" Zack groaned as he lay on the floor. "And now he's checking me out for his friend!"

Sephiroth chuckled. "Why don't you just drill him until he quits?"

"Because he's good, Seph. He's one of the best guys here. And he'll kill me in my dreams if I do."

"I'd just have him transferred if I didn't think he'd do this to someone else," Sephiroth sighed. "Normally I'd recommend that Zack give him a lap dance in his moogle-print thong, since that could scare anyone."

Zack jumped up and opened a drawer on his dresser, pulling something out and throwing it to Sephiroth. "Why don't you do it, you sexy thing you?"

Cloud's eyes widened. "You actually have one?!"

Sephiroth threw it back at Zack. "Now I'm scarred for life. Even after all I've been through... that was just..." Sephiroth shuddered jokingly.

Cloud was rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Aeris bought it for me as a joke!"

"I bet she got a good laugh too!" Cloud laughed.

Sephiroth couldn't help but laugh also, both at Zack and at Cloud, who he'd never seen laugh so hard.

"I never actually wore it!" Zack pouted like a little kid.

"Suuuuure," Cloud and Sephiroth said in unison.

Zack suddenly dropped his pants. "See, normal underwear!" He rotated his hips. "Boxers!"

Sephiroth blinked, and then pointed. "Are those... chocobo boxers?"

Cloud laughed so hard he started to cry.

Zack blushed and pulled his pants back up, laughing himself. He walked over and sat on Cloud, who couldn't stop laughing.

"What were we talking ab-- Hey! Stop laughing Seph!"

Sephiroth shook his head and laughed some more. "I missed you Zack."

~~~~~~~~~~

Zack passed out sprawled all over the floor like a child. Sephiroth gently picked him up and placed him in bed, putting his music on its soft loop.

"Where are you going tonight?" Cloud whispered.

"My room next door is still... my room," Sephiroth said softly. "I'll stay in the dorm tonight."

Cloud nodded and followed as Sephiroth turned out the lights and started to walk out.

"Will Ki bother you tonight?" Sephiroth asked with gentle eyes.

Cloud swallowed and looked down a bit. Things felt so much better with Sephiroth around. He hadn't told Sephiroth the details of his relationship with Ki, but he had a feeling the young general already knew. But why would that bother him?

"I don't think so..." Cloud murmured. "He has to get up early... so...."

He stopped, not wanting to think of the ways Ki came and tormented him at night sometimes. Cloud felt ashamed of it all now. Sephiroth seemed to sense that something was wrong, and he tried to place his hand on Cloud's shoulder. But Cloud drew back as if he were startled. He lifted his blue eyes apologetically at the young general and shook his head.

"I'm too tainted for you to even come near me," he said, his words heavy with grief.

Sephiroth blinked and opened his door, stepping aside for Cloud to enter. "I don't think you know what tainted is, Cloud. But it isn't you. Come inside and talk to me."

"But--"

"Now," Sephiroth smirked, putting on a mask of authority for his friend.

Cloud sighed and walked inside, sitting on a comfortable armchair. Sephiroth closed the door, reached into his small cooler for two sodas courtesy of Zack, and sat in the duplicate chair across from Cloud, tossing the young blonde a drink. The young general sat back and looked at Cloud, waiting for him to talk.

"I don't know where to start," Cloud muttered.

"Anywhere."

"I'm afraid of what you'll think of me."

"Don't be."

Cloud sat there, trying to think of a starting point, much like one would try to think of the start of a good essay. But nothing suitable came to mind.

"...I'm fourteen."

Sephiroth coughed and set his asi aside, trying to catch his breath after nearly inhaling the liquid into his lungs. He finally caught his bh anh and shot a surprised look at Cloud (which was only slightly less tranquil than his normal look.) He seemed to be thinking a million things at that very moment.

"I'm sorry for lying," Cloud said after a moment. "Please, Sephiroth, I'm begging you not to tell anyone. I'll tell Zack myself... but please, no one else. I'll do anything to stay here."

Sephiroth opened his mouth once or twice to speak, but nothing passed his lips. Finally, "You're big for your age...."

"Not really. I just... got stronger I guess."

Cloud knew that Sephiroth was coming to the realization that he slept with a boy much younger than he was.

"You wouldn't have even touched me if it wasn't for that demon," Cloud said, "So there is nothing to worry about, right?"

Sephiroth's jade eyes met Cloud's, and he sat there looking at the young blonde.

"Is my age that important?"

"...Yes...."

"Why?"

Sephiroth searched for an answer that wasn't too biting.

"Do you regret what happened now?" Cloud asked.

"It isn't like that, Cloud."

"Did you care that it was me? Could it have been anyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where you thinking of me? Was I important to you at that time? Or was it just a release? Would it not have mattered who I was?"

Sephiroth looked into Cloud's hurt eyes but found that he didn't know how to respond.

"You have no idea what it feels like, do you?" Cloud asked, holding back his tears. "I have absolutely no control. I'm weak. And Ki... he could just do whatever he wanted to me, whenever he wanted. But it wouldn't have mattered who I was. It only mattered that he found me and I was easy to control. But who I am, it's never mattered."

Sephiroth put his face in his hands for a moment and sighed. He looked back at Cloud with a serious face. "Look at me, Cloud. I saw you. I cared. I don't regret it. I knew I was hurting you and I hated it. Then you wanted me to keep going, so I didd I d I didn't want to stop. It wouldn't have been the same if it were anyone else. You shared your body with me, and for me that was important. It's still important. You are still important to me and I will always care about what happens to you. How you feel matters, who you are matters, and what will happen to you matters."

Cloud looked at though he had been holding his breath with those worlds. He slowly exhaled and lowered his eyes to his lap. Part of him had been healed with Sephiroth's words, but another wound had also been opened.

"Why couldn't you always feel that way?" Cloud asked softly. "Why do I feel like I'll leave this place and never see you again? I thought it was all desire after you left. I thought it was all infatuation. But it's more than that. It's not the burning need that Ki feels me with. It's genuine." Cloud lost all sense of self control for a brief instant as the next words flowed out of his mouth. "Why can't we be more than friends?"

Sephiroth closed his eyes and tiled his head toward the ceiling in thought, letting the back of his head rest against the chair. "There are many reasons, Cloud. You're too young for me. You have so much more to experience, and you have more to think about than me. And this is no way for you to live. You will work for the ShinRa for a time, and then you'll move on. I, on the other hand, will be here forever. Live your life Cloud, and know that you'll have my friendship even after you pass out of my life."

Cloud stood up and paced very slowly. "It isn't so easy. Human emotions don't work that way." He moved towards the door. "I should go. I need to think."

Sephiroth nodded and stood as he left. When Cloud was gone, he went to bed.

Human emotions? He had those, didn't he? He understood, didn't he?

~~~~~~~~~~

"No, mom, it isn't like that at all," Zack grinned at her image on his computer panel. He sat there in his sweatpants, having just woken up after a good long sleep.

"You work so close to the man, son," she shook her head. "Your father and I are just a little nervous about you being there."

Cloud walked into Zack's room since the door was left open, stretching and yawning.

"We've heard about the things he can do, son."

"Mom, he's a nice guy, okay? But look, we have to work together anyway. And we fought together. I guess you'd call him a war buddy. We trust each other."

"Alright Zack," his mother smiled. "I'll trust you to make good decisions. I have to go finish making breakfast now."

"Okay, mom. Love you! Tell dad I say 'hi'!"

"Bye!"

And then the screen shut off.

"Is your mom worried about Sephiroth?" Cloud blinked.

"Everyone is," Zack snickered. "They're always asking me what it's like to work with him. I can't really tell them he's my best friend yet. For now I'll just work with the term 'war buddy' and see where it goes. Hey, why are you up so early anyway?"

"I just couldn't sleep. And I found out just now that Ki is gone."

"Gone?"

"Yea. He's on leave or something."

"How did he manage that?" Zack blinked.

"He probably screwed with the minds of the people higher up on the chain," Cloud shrugged.

"You're relieved aren't you?"

"Very."

"That's not the only reason you couldn't sleep, is it?"

Cloud looked up at Zack with wide eyes. Did Zack know what he and Sephiroth talked about last night?

"It's okay to worry Cloud. Just know that whatever happens, Seph and I will be right here. But I'm pretty confident that you'll make it into SOLDIER."

Cloud exhaled and nodded. It was a relief to know that Zack wasn't aware of what went on last night. But thinking about testing into SOLDIER made his stomach turn.

"What if I don't make it?" Cloud asked, thinking out loud. "What then?"

"Then you'll try again. Or you'll discover something else you want to do. Either way, you'll be in the military. You'll be defending others. And if you don't want to do that anymore, we'll still stick by you."

Cloud nodded. "I should go. I really need to make sure I'll be perfect when the time comes.”

Zack nodded and smiled. "I'd tell you what they’re looking for, but I'm not really sure myself. And you have to stick around the lab for a while. That part was creepy. They inject you with something that is supposedly there to help them track how your body is doing during testing in the lab. But no one really knows what it does. All of the first class members talk about that with dread."

"Zack!"

"Oh, sorry. Ignore me. Go do your thing."

Cloud shook his head and smiled slightly. He went out to train, his head filled with nothing but his goals now.

~~~~~~~~~~
One month later
~~~~~~~~~~

Sephiroth disliked being there when the soldiers were being tested. Everyone was on edge, and people were more afraid of him than usual. They always thought he had some hand in the decision making process.

Everyone had been working so hard. Zack had to work longer hours just to make sure that everyone was ready. Sephiroth also helped the recruits, but he made sure that none of the other superior officers saw this. And Cloud.... Cloud had been working so hard that people hardly ever saw him in the dorm.

People had also been getting sick left and right for the past month or so. Many of the recruits were getting their first mako injections to see if they could handle it. Zack always had suspicions that there was more than mako involved, but Sephiroth had no idea what else there could be. Though, he did wonder about it every once in a while after seeing some recruits get incredibly sick. He had little memory of his first mako enhancements.

He sat in his room, looking out of his window as people trained below. Suddenlyck bck burst into the room with Cloud in a playful but strong headlock.

"Hey Seph!" Zack said with a smile.

"Hey! Get him to let go of me!" Cloud said, trying to pull away.

"No way, kid!" Zack smirked. "Seph, the kids been training way too hard. He needs to sit down."

"I was going to go running. Let go!"

Sephiroth smiled softly. "Cloud, if you don't have a rest period your muscles won't have any time to heal and grow."

Cloud sighed and looked up, his eyes a hint shinier than normal. The mako appeared to be treating him well.

"Did you go to the lab today to get the results of your compatibility with the mako?" Sephiroth asked as Zack released him.

"Yes. That Hojo guy was creepy."

Sephiroth nodded, but said nothing.

"Sir!" called someone in the hallway.

"Yes?" Zack asked, walking to the young man. Before the young man could answer he already saw the trouble.

"Another person is getting sick from the treatment, sir," he said to Sephiroth, dropping his friend status in front of the recruit. "I'll go take care of it." He walked out and shut the door.

Sephiroth turned to Cloud, who had been standing upright. The young blondehed hed and sat down in a chair.

"Zack is right, Cloud. You do need your rest."

"I know. I just want things to be perfect. I don't want to make any mistakes. They've been watching me like a hawk for the past month, making sure I do exactly what they want." He started rocking back and forth.

"Just make sure you're taking the time to eat and sleep."

"How did you do this?" Cloud said, still rocking back and forth. "How did you make it to general? How did you manage to be so perfect at every second?"

Sephiroth walked over to the window and stared outside again. He watched the hopeful recruits and the exhausted first class members. "I couldn't afford not to be. It must be nice to have the option not to do well...."

Cloud tilted his head and thought about that. He mindlessly played with Sephiroth's black jacket, fingering the material gently.

Sephiroth shifted his glance and saw Cloud reflected in the mirror. "Cloud...."

"Yes?" Cloud said, snapping out of his trance.

"You really should meditate on things today. You're too nervous. They'll see it, just like I can."

"What do you mean? I don't feel nervous. I feel a little anxious, but that's all."

"You're rocking back and forth as though you--"

Suddenly Cloud was right beside him. Sephiroth would have been started if anything could put a dent in him.

"I want to go now..." Cloud murmured.

"Alright," Sephiroth blinked.

"Will you take me?"

"...Take you where?"

Cloud slowly lifted his hand and pointed at the wall, or rather, off in some unknown direction. "When will we go? Take me...."

"...I don't understand."

Cloud leaned in closely, and Sephiroth's jade eyes widened to see how dead Cloud's gaze looked. The young blonde appeared to be shivering a bit, and he clung to Sephiroth's dark jacket.

"...Reunion..." Cloud whispered darkly.

The door burst open and Zack bounded in. He took one look at the two and grinned. Cloud was leaning close enough to Sephiroth to kiss him.

"Is this what you two do when I leave you alone?" Zack said with a bright grin.

"He's not himself," Sephiroth said, moving away from Cloud. "He needs sleep."

Cloud turned and stared at the wall, in the same direction he had pointed. Zack walked up behind him and stared at the wall as well. The raven-haired young man tilted his head this way and that, then he squinted his eyes and widened them again.

"Soooo... Cloud," Zack said, raising and eyebrow. "That wall... it's... really something, eh?"

Cloud continued to stare.

"Stop joking around and go to bed," Zack smirked.

Cloud continued to stare.

Sephiroth walked over and waved a hand in front of his face. "Look at his eyes. I'm not even sure he's conscious."

"...Reunion..." Cloud murmured.

"Where?" Zack blinked.

"Home...."

"Nibelhiem?"

"Yes... there. The voice...."

"Ooookay..." Zack said, glancing at Sephiroth with his brow raised. "Come on kid, let's get you to bed." Zack pulled Cloud out of the room gently.

Cloud's eyes fell on Sephiroth before he was pulled into the hallway. Those eyes seemed so dead, yet at the same time, they pierced Sephiroth in a way he'd never experienced.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hojo looked through the results of the tests. He enjoyed every moment of this process each year. The recruits were given mako treatments, but they were also injected with Jenova cells without their knowledge. It was interesting to see the many reactions. And no one suspected him when a recruit or two went missing. It had been a while since he had this much fun. Sephiroth wasn't around to toy with anymore, and Vincent, one of his most hated people and favorite pets, was long gone. Buy now, Hojo felt like a king, doing as he pleased with people's bodies. He felt power.

It almost made him sick whenever he saw his son. He felt pride in creating such a perfect experiment. Yes... he was happy about that part of it. But his son was ungrateful for it. Hojo knew he would never hear a word of thanks for making Sephiroth into a perfect human being. The world would bow to the boy if he wanted it to, but instead, Sephiroth chose to ignore just how great he could be.

Hojo only smirked at this. If Sephiroth didn't want the world, then Hojo would take it. He had already injected Jenova into his body. He was immune to side affects, and he felt himself getting stronger each day. But no one knew this but him. For now though, there were more important matters at hand.

There were a select few soldiers who were strong enough get the Jenova treatment. But hardly any of them proved to be immune to her control. Hojo knew that Jenova was still alive in the reactor they kept her in. He knew she gained consciousness long enough to control those who had her cells, if they weren't immune to her control like he was. But he knew he was strong enough to keep his mind away from her grasp. Sephiroth had never shown him any signs of being controlled, and why should the ungrateful boy be any better than him?

Hojo sighed and shuffled though his papers. He finally got to Cloud Strife's. The boy showed more promise than anyone in this group. But after a month of monitoring him, it was found that his mind was easily snared by Jenova. He was far too easy for her to control. He was not immune to side affects. Despite his potential to become one of the first class members of SOLDIER and to become one of the strongest people on earth, he fell short when it came to the most important qualification. If he had anymore Jenova treatments like a true SOLDIER member, he would eventually die and become useless.

Hojo smirked, thinking it funny that no one realized what SOLDIER really was. It was ShinRa's top military force. They were the elite. But they were also pawns. Experiments. They were all there so the ShinRa could see if another Sephiroth could be created for them. But so far, no one had the potential to be anywhere near Sephiroth's level.

His hand quickly filled out the reports. He wrote out the reasons for failing who he did, and saw that the paperwork was sent to each dorm as quickly as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't do this," Zack said. "How do the other members of SOLDIER do this? I'm too fragile."

Another first class member walked by and patted him on the shoulder. "I had a few cry," he said sadly.

"Why did you have to tell me that?!" Zack groaned, pug hig his face in his hands.

"Why don't you have the general do it?" the other member asked. "He's a pretty cold guy."

"Not really," Zack muttered. "But yea, I wish he could be here to do it for me, honestly."

The other member nodded and headed off. "I have to do it for someone else, but only because I lost a bet. So I can't help you with this one."

Zack groaned again and headed into the dorm and up the steps. He remembered how hard it was waiting to hear whether or not he made it in. He also remembered how hard people took it if they didn't make it in. In fact, very few people ever made it. He knew there would be tears and anger and fear of what to do next. He couldn't even look at Cloud's because he was too nervous to know what it said. If the blonde didn't make it, he was afraid of what would happen to him.

First, Zack took off his SOLDIER uniform and put on sweatpants and a shirt. It didn't feel right to wear the uniform while others were being denied the opportunity. He started on his end of the hall, as far from Cloud's room as possible. He made is way down, reading the reports before knocking the door, and then entering, closing the door behind him and delivering the news.

"I'm sorry," he said. Again and again, he said those words. And he truly was sorry. Most held in the tears until he left. He knew a few went on a rampage in their rooms as soon as they thought he was out of earshot. Items were thrown, walls were punched. Many of them lost all sense of discipline. The few who didn't seem to mind as much were the ones who were happy with getting a normal soldier position for a period of time before another career. Zack was glad people like them existed. It was easy to deliver those messages. Those people were happy just helping for the short time they were in the military.

It was agonizing, and a couple times, Zack let people cry on his shoulder. They had never seen his caring side until they were too blind with anguish to notice it. And finally, after the long walk, after message after message was delivered, Zack stood in front of Cloud's door. He swallowed hard and opened the large sealed envelope. He slid the file out and read it. He felt his chest grow tight, and he leaned his forehead on the door. He couldn't even bring himself to knock. After a long while, he opened the door slowly.

Cloud sat on his bed, looking towards the window. It was dim, except for the faint light from outside.

"Cloud..." Zack said softly.

"Just tell me what it says," Cloud said, anxiousness in his voice.

Something was thrown against the wall in the room next to Cloud's. The two roommatere ere arguing now, both of them upset over their results. Zack listened for a moment, almost afraid that Cloud might start a wave of destruction himself.

"Cloud..." Zack swallowed. "I'm sorry.... You didn't make it." He shook his head, the weight of it all crushing him as if he hadn't made it either. "I'm sorry, Cloud."

Cloud didn't even shift. He only continued to stare at the window.

"Cloud, I'll be honest, I'm scared of what you'll do. I think you should sleep in my room tonight."

Cloud shook his head, keeping his back to Zack.

"I'm going to check on you then, so keep the door unlocked or I'll just use a card key to open it anyway."

Cloud nodded slightly. Zack sighed and walked out, shutting the door. He waited there for a few minutes, but heard nothing being overturned or thrown. He heard no yelling or tears. It was eerie this way. Zack decided that he could do nothing, and he walked towards his room, hearing the anger and sorrow and destruction run its course with everyone else.


~*~*~*To Be Continued*~*~*~

(Hi guys! Sorry these chapters are taking so long! I’m trying to decide which story I want to work on next. I’ve also been very busy! But thanks for sticking with me! Oh, and a while back, someone emailed me about a new website. They wanted me to feature my story there, but I lost the email! If that was you, get back to me! I don’t care about my story so much as the actual website! Anyway! Thanks for reading everyone!)