Pater Familias

The crowd broke up before Aerith and Sakura returned. I felt grateful for that. I didn’t want Sakura to have to deal with my notoriety on such a personal level, not just yet.

I looked into the melted slushies, feeling my stomach churn. My son had apparently sampled a little of each one while I sat in a near-trance.

“I know,” Sephiroth said. “I have to get real food in my system soon or I’m going to vomit a sugar rainbow all over this food court.”

I laughed, startled by his sense of humor. “I know you’ve digested worse,” I said. “You’re career military. Even the cafeteria at Shin-Ra serves garbage.”

“Not for long,” Sephiroth said, his voice grim with determination. “Eldon intends to change that. I applaud his priorities.”

“Maybe I’ll start eating there, then,” I said.

“I wouldn’t start this month,” Sephiroth said. “There are some really angry employees nursing sore arms these days. You jabbed the hell out of a few people doing inoculations.”

“I was tired,” I defended. “Valentine came by with a complaint and I donated nearly three pints of blood to one of his demons.”

“You let him drink your blood?” Sephiroth shuddered. “He isn’t a vampire.”

“No, but he is host to vampiric life forms.”

Sephiroth held quiet a moment. Then, he eyed me askance and chuckled. “What did it feel like?”

“Like nothing at all.”

“I see.” Sephiroth seemed to think about that. “Have you forgiven him, then?”

“He fell weak to Lucretia the same as I,” I answered. “Your mother, a uniquely attractive, personable and talented woman, made friends easily. Valentine simply became a friend who went a step too far, but it took them both to make that mistake. I shot him because he irritated me, because he’d infringed on what belonged to me. If I’d been fair-minded, I’d have shot her too.”

“It amazes me you can speak of it with such distance,” Sephiroth said softly.

“It happened a very long time ago.” I took off my glasses and wiped them, needing something to do with my hands. “Additionally, your wife taught me something about forgiving people for their weaknesses.”

I adored that little Cetra. I would defend her to my last breath.

“A moment of emotion, father,” Sephiroth said, patting me on the shoulder briefly. “I’m really starting to like you as well as love you.”

My heart grew another few centimeters. “I’m glad,” I said simply, because I didn’t know what else to say. Sephiroth would pick up my thoughts anyway.

He grabbed my wrist so he could view my watch. “Let’s go across the way here, father, and buy new computers. You have the gil and we probably both could use the upgrade. Aerith wants to learn how to use a computer anyway.”

“You love me for my money,” I sighed, getting up.

“I like you for being as atrocious to yourself as well as everyone else,” he argued, tugging me along. “I love you because you love me.”

****************************************************************************

We bought computers. Poor Sephiroth knew next to nothing about them, so I did all the talking, wrangling and building. Our ladies found us as we clinched the deal, which was fortunate because Aerith still had my credit card.

“I promise it isn’t melting from use,” she teased.

I tried to give her a hard look and failed. I instructed the clerk to have the pc’s delivered to my apartment and we left the small mall.

“Is lunch on you, too?” Aerith asked, practically skipping alongside me to the parking lot and bus transfer. She threaded her arm through mine, looking up at me with eager, forest-green eyes.

The mako really made her eyes glow in a pretty way.

“I suppose,” I said, capitulating to her easily. “However, I think Sephiroth would prefer to eat at home no matter how hungry he is.” I reached into my pocket and brought out two hundred gil, slipping it to her in such a way that my son didn’t see. “Get take-out and get him home,” I instructed. “I can tell by the way he’s pacing for a cab that he’s fed up with socializing.”

Aerith smiled and winked. She let go of me and rushed over to her husband, making him lean down to hear what she had to say. I viewed with a sense of rightness in the world the way he instantly attended her. His long, silver hair mingled with hers in the breeze. A slight but genuine smile touched his lips. In another moment they were gone without so much as goodbye. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I saw that,” Sakura said, walking alongside me. She put her hand out and I offered her my elbow.

“Saw what?” I waved for a cab, pretending ignorance.

“You’re very indulgent to your family.” Sakura smiled up at me. “I think that’s nice.”

I shrugged. “My dear, the idea of a family is so very new and enchanting it is impossible for me not to pander to them.”

She studied me.

I finally got a cabbie to notice us and quickly aided Sakura inside the car. The man looked at us in the rearview mirror. “Where to?” he grunted.

“Belol’s,” I answered before Sakura could say anything. They had good food for a decent price and no one cared if you entered in less than a three piece suit and tie.

Sakura sat silently as we rode, her eyes taking in the sights of reconstruction in Midgar. After about ten minutes, she heaved a great sigh. “What I wouldn’t give to see vegetation in the city,” she said. “It wouldn’t take much, not with modern fertilizers and the increased amount of light these days. But people are very accustomed to this barren cityscape, aren’t they?”

“I suppose if it’s all one knows,” I agreed. “I’m confident you could help change things.”

“I’m glad you think so,” she murmured. “But, the pollution is so bad.”

“The new president of Shin-Ra is interested in changing Midgar for the better. Be patient,” I advised. “Science involves a lot of patience.”

Seeming to think that over, Sakura fell silent once more.

At Belol’s, we settled with our menus and mineral waters. Sakura ordered a dark beer almost immediately. “I need a chewy lager,” she told me.

“Why would you want a chewy lager?” I asked, amused.

“To settle my stomach before I eat.” She put her hand over her belly. “All that shopping upset me.”

I chuckled. “You don’t have to take shopping so personally, Sakura.”

“I can’t help it.” Sakura gave me a wry smile. “I have horrible memories about shopping. My parents love to stroll around for hours at a time, indulging in gross commercialism. My sister and I experienced every boutique and rich-person’s trap in seven cities.” She stopped to fix a severe look upon me. “And yes, Damiana is my sister.” She turned her attention to her lager, her eyes darkening. “She’s in a monastery right now, actually. The monks look after her, and in violation of their no-females policy.” Sakura gave a bitter little laugh. “See what money can buy?”

“You want your sister out, get her out,” I said.

“It’s not that simple.” Sakura shook her head. “Mom and dad think she’s mental. They can control her until the day she dies. The minute I try to swoop in and grab her, the law will be on me.”

Ah. Not a problem for the authorities then. I added Damiana to my list of people to attend. Shin-Ra would come in handy here.

“In any case,” Sakura went on, “I just find going out for things very tedious. I’d be happy with less.”

I thought of her two thousand year old washcloth hanging in her apartment and her lack of possessions and conceded how truthfully she spoke. “You’re a minimalist,” I commented. “Admirable, in a scientist.” I took a drink of water, watching her toy with her glass of disgusting beer. “However, adaptability is even more important. You don’t have to shop with your parents anymore, and you certainly don’t have to spend money the way they think you should.”

That’s very true. I knew I could count on him for good counsel.

Well, apparently three sips of beer could do the job. I would have to look into this unusual phenomenon.

I slid her the bread basket, observing how she chose the smallest roll and then proceeded to absently pick it apart on her plate. She felt anxious again.

I wish it was only about the money, she thought. Every time I go out I have to worry who will see me. God-damn them for constantly interfering in my life! Hojo’s right; I should fight this. I can’t be a wreck at twenty-two just because my ignorant, evil parents can’t let go.

Her eyes lifted to me. She blushed and began to actually eat her roll.

This is nice, being out with him. I wouldn’t have agreed to come out in public for anyone else. He wouldn’t allow anyone to abduct me off the street.

She looked down at her hands a moment.

I still can’t believe he took an interest in me.

I’m glad we got away from Jonathan before he could let slip about my scrapbook. I wonder what happened to that prick. It isn’t like him to give up; he and his family want my family’s money too badly to just let go. He’s probably lying in wait somewhere, biding his time for the right opportunity.

She summed that up correctly, I felt sure. Mr. Andrews lay waiting for the right opportunity to escape, but he wouldn’t. I felt curious about this scrapbook, though.

Sakura took another cautious look at me, her grey eyes still a bit shy.

He makes me so aware of myself, like he can get inside me and see how I tick. I knew he’d have an overpowering personality, but I didn’t expect him to be so…

Gentle. He’s gentle. I can easily imagine those hands gentle even while ripping out a still-beating heart.

No need to tell her about those sorts of things. Her imagination functioned well and accurately.

Why doesn’t he say something? Surely I’ve done something by now to warrant his correction.

“Will you take a few of your Holy Ones seeds to Gongaga?” I asked. “My brother would like to see them, I imagine, and can most likely carry on a decent conversation about them with you.”

Oh! Yes, I should do that! “I will,” Sakura said aloud. “That’s a good idea.”

Is his brother anything like him? I can’t fathom it.

“You’ll like Syvas,” I said. “Everyone does.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s personable, kind and generous. Just don’t ask him much about our mother and father.”

Good thing he told me. I might have said something casually and offended the man.

“Tender subjects, huh?” she said quietly.

I realized I couldn’t expect information about her without revealing some of my own. Women operated that way. One would confess a dark secret and another would match it to show equality or understanding. A man could blather on and on without any expectations.

“My father was a drunken maniac who liked to fill the time in between bottles by thrashing me and Syvas and my mother. He nearly beat me to death on several occasions. The last time he took his anger out on me, Syvas poisoned him.” I paused to take a drink of water, seeing I had Sakura’s complete and horrified attention. “My mother loved him so much she perished inside the week. I still don’t know if she killed herself or if she died of a broken heart.”

I let the topic lie in order to greet the waiter, who brought our appetizer. Sakura’s thoughts did not come to me. I watched the waiter depart, then reached out and snagged a shrimp from the tray.

“Syvas and I did not go into any state program for orphans. He took care of me as best he could, but got drafted to fight a piddly little war that Wutai waged against itself. Still, he did see to my upbringing for about four years before that happened, and to this day he believes he should have dodged the draft in order to do his duty as my brother.”

Holy shit. Yes, I forget his age at times. He would have been ten or eleven when the Wutainian Civil War broke out. Sakura slowly took a shrimp and dipped it in cocktail sauce while looking at me wide, rapt eyes. He’s been independent nearly all his life. I feel so ashamed for believing my life is rotten. Oh Shiva, he should have been about seven years old that last time his dad tried to kill him. What a life for a little boy.

“When Syvas returned home, he had what is now known as shell-shock. At the time we didn’t have a name for the disorder. All I knew was my brother could not speak of what he’d done, the men he’d killed, or of much of anything for that matter. I took it upon myself to care for him the way he’d cared for me. We lived together a few more years before he collapsed underneath the pressures of his mind and became institutionalized.”

I ate a few more shrimp, wondering how her mind could be so silent during the influx of such information.

“The authorities allowed me to visit him. Eventually he repaired himself and moved to Gongaga. I sold the family property and went into advanced schooling. Syvas, through independent study and the guidance of a few potions masters, became a potions master himself. Over the years I’ve come to understand his unwillingness to talk about our parents or the war. This is why I ask that you keep to other topics.”

Sakura wiped at the corner of her right eye and looked away. Sad. So, so sad. Two little boys doing their best with no help from anyone until it was too late. But, they triumphed.

“That’s a very sad story, Hojo,” Sakura said softly.

“It’s old history, my dear,” I replied. “But Syvas is still tender to all this. His eight years difference to my age ensured a higher impact to his psyche.”

Maybe so, but that assures me of nothing for you, Hojo, she thought. You were just a child. The world still held vast mysteries…

Our food arrived.

“To better topics,” I said. “Let’s discuss the protocol of dealing with the state’s wishes on Lucas Havars.”

Oh yes, let’s discuss that slimy bastard, she thought, stabbing her chicken. I’ll bet Hojo bathes in his blood the very moment we can safely do away with him. I will enjoy that almost as much as he does, I’m sure.

“All the state specifies is that Havars has a yearly evaluation for his state of mind, and his appearance of repentance. In five years we are to take our findings to the adjudicator and let him review.” Sakura gave me a wicked smile. “Which means he’s yours for at least five years, to do with as you will.”

“Delightful news,” I said. “You will have no trouble with observing?”

“Which part? Seeing what you do or checking on things once a year?”

“Either.”

Sakura bit her lip, looking away for just a moment. “I have a personal issue with him, so I don’t believe the observance will bother me.” Then again, it floored me to watch the fight between Hojo and Michael… “As for the yearly check-up, no, I won’t have any trouble fitting that into my schedule.” If I have to go a year in between each visit to Hojo, I’ll be sorely upset.

He kissed me. Doesn’t that mean he’s willing to see me more often? I wouldn’t think a man like him would take waiting for more as an instant turn-off. Still, I don’t know him very well. Maybe he’s decided I’m not worth the wait?

I couldn’t let her go down that path of thought for very long. I’d missed some opportunities to assure her, getting caught up in the practicalities of shopping and becoming occupied with my son. Natural enough for me, but a woman required more. I knew that, yet, I’d slipped up. Still, I didn’t have the most romantic nature. I could forgive myself a little.

“What are your thoughts for employment, Sakura?” I asked.

“There’s a company just outside of Midgar,” she said. “BioSphere Inc. They dabble in everything, but mostly they develop and grow produce hybrids. They’ve accepted my application. I start in the fall as their head engineer.” And, oh Shiva was that good news. BioSphere is a secured company. A rat can’t get in and out without a pass.

Hm. That little buzz I got from beer on an empty stomach is about gone now. Oh well. I don’t want anymore of it.

Perhaps that explained why her thoughts weren’t coming in so clearly. I accepted the time limit easily. “That is very good news,” I said. “You’re starting out with prestige.”

Sakura smiled.

We finished our meal without my hearing anything more from her mind. In a way I felt relieved. Knowledge could be a burden sometimes. I didn’t know how Sephiroth took the constant mental chatter of others.

I paid the tab, tipped, and escorted Sakura out of the restaurant. She felt good on my arm, warm and…feminine. I looked down at her, suddenly taken anew by her youth and beauty. She seemed such a vital woman, and so interested in me. She had a good heart, too, a quality I appreciated these days.

“What?” she asked softly, her voice just a little nervous. “Did I leave asparagus in my teeth?”

I chuckled. “No.”

We walked down the block a few minutes before she asked the inevitable question.

“No cab?”

“Not just yet. We have one more place to go before I flag down one of those infernal public servants that knows their car and the road entirely too well.” I steered her into a drugstore. “You must have things you need, Sakura. I’ll wait here while you purchase them.”

Blushing, Sakura walked into the store to get her forgotten sanitary supplies. I sat on the bench just inside the door and waited.