Let Him In

Let Him In

  

 Chapter warning(s): Offensive/Bad Language, Insane/Psychotic Sephiroth, Humor, Dark themes, Anal, Rough sex, Angst, M/M Yaoi, SephUKE

 

 

 

 

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”-Buddha

 

 

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CH18: Believe

 

 

Hands braced themselves flat on the surface of the bathroom counter as the ex-General hunched over, his curtain of metallic hair shielding his pale face. He made it a point not to look at the mirror as his body silently quaked with an overload of pure emotion. Rage was predominant over the seething slew of negative emotions. Despair, self-hatred, and repulsion were the other feelings that writhed uncontrollably with the pulsating anger. There was so much feeling whirling around like a storm inside of him that he could barely fathom what he was feeling.

Gritting his teeth against the desperate, harrowing urge to scream, Sephiroth continued to shake from the sheer intensity of his rampant emotions.

As if suddenly realizing that he was there in the bathroom and in front of the mirror, he jerked his head up to glare hatefully into the mirror. The ex-General saw a face he loathed utterly and a face that he branded as ugly and despicable.

Sephiroth narrowed his darkened eyes as he sneered at the image of himself. “You are wretched. You don’t deserve to live, yet here you are…living. Living while others die in your place…because of you. You should be ashamed, no, you are ashamed. This is all your fault. They all suffer and die because you are nothing but a weak, pitiable fool. You barely have a backbone…hah, you are not even human!” He then paused to chortle, his laughter high, sinister, and lacking mirth.

Slamming his hands against the bathroom counter, the laughter died abruptly on his lips as he shot his image a foul look.”You do not deserve him, you know. Yet here you are…feeding from him like a greedy little whore. You cannot even stand on your own two feet like a man. You use him as a crutch. Useless. He always has to be strong for you and he always has to put up with your pathetic shit. He deserves someone much better than you. You know it, too, do you not? Do not even deny it. You know it to be true.”

Sephiroth was breathing rapidly now as his cat-like pupils fully dilated. The look on his face was demented. Something about the manner in which he spoke and the way he looked nearly resembled his previous Jenova-influenced insane self. “You—are—weak. You are not even a man, for Gaia’s sake. How are you supposed to protect him when you cannot even protect yourself? They claim that you are so strong and good…but they are very wrong. We both know you are frail and wicked. You are nothing but a deluded fool that is only capable of destruction. You have seen it, yes? They all do not trust you. Do you not feel it? Do you not feel the hate coursing through your veins like venom? No? Well, you should. They all despise you…yes, even him. You deserve to be hated and scorned for you are a freak, an abomination, and a hell bringer. You—are—a—monster.”

In the darkness of the void that the ex-General seemed to be spiraling into, he saw flickers of something. Of what, he did not know. There were the sounds of several familiar voices that increased in pitch as he neared. Walking faster now, he started to jog and then broke out in a run in an effort to find the owners of all the voices.

Stopping abruptly, Sephiroth realized that the voices weren’t just anywhere—they were everywhere. They were all around him so that made it impossible to pinpoint exactly where they came from. Every voice felt like a caress against his skin or a slap against his face. He didn’t know what they were saying or even why, but he felt that it was important somehow. The fact that they were here with him was significant and it brought him a little bit of comfort in this consuming darkness.

“Who…who are you?” Sephiroth finally asked and then suddenly all the voices stopped.

A handsome red-haired man with pale blue eyes emerged from the darkness. He was clothed in remorse as he confessed, “I always wanted to be better than you, Seph. I wanted to be the hero you always were, but I could never be you. I destroyed what we had and for that, I am sorry. You were my best friend, my brother, and I should have been there for you.”

“Genesis,” croaked the ex-General as he felt raw emotion choke him. He reached out to the crimson-haired man, but he disappeared in a flicker of a moment.

A tall man with black hair and blue eyes strode out of the darkness next. A similar sort of remorse covered him as he spoke, “Hey, Seph. I wish things had been different. I really do. I tried to help you, to help Gen, but it was all in vain. I tried to tell you that you weren’t a monster, but you wouldn’t listen. You are not a monster, Seph, and neither is Genesis or me. It took me awhile to figure it out, but we are not monsters; we were created by monsters. It’s not what we are, Seph, it’s what we do that makes us a man or a monster.”

The ex-General felt more grief rip through him as he whispered, “Angeal…”

Once Angeal had disappeared, another man appeared. A man with spiky black hair and vivid blue eyes smiled with fondness at Sephiroth. “Hi, Seph! It’s been a long time, buddy. I don’t have much time, and I wish I did, so I could bore you to death! Haha, just kidding! Well, not about the not having much time part. I was joking about the boring you to death part. Anyway, all I really need to tell you is that I believe in you. I know that you’re gonna kick ass and save the planet. How do I know? Well, I just do, okay? And stop being so hard on yourself! Oh, and one more thing…look after my Spiky, all right?

“Zack…” Breathed Sephiroth as he slowly nodded while he gazed at the other man. What was this feeling in his chest? It didn’t feel bad. It felt like…like hope.

“Remember me, Sephiroth?” Asked a feminine voice from behind the ex-General.

Turning around to face the speaker, Sephiroth was graced with the same pretty brown-haired and green-eyed woman he had met back in Yasu’s shop. “Yes…I remember you.”

“I meant everything I told you. You may not understand any of it now, but in time, you will know what you are to me, to Cloud, and to the entire world. I know you will do the right thing because I believe in you, Sephiroth,” serenely said the braided-haired girl as she smiled at him. After she had spoken his name, her form dissolved before his very eyes until she was no longer present.

“Aerith,” whispered the ex-General with a sadness he simply could not fathom.

A different woman emerged from the darkness; a woman with long brown hair and warm brown eyes. She was beautiful. In a voice clouded with guilt and sorrow, she confessed, “I am your mother, Sephiroth. Your real mother. I regret…I regret what I did to you, what I let be done to you and myself. But most of all, I regret not being able to hold you. I wish…I had been a stronger woman for not only myself, but for you, and for Vincent. I am so sorry, my son, and even if you can never find it in yourself to forgive me, I just want you to know that I love you.”

“Mother…” All resolve crumbled, Sephiroth felt as if his knees would give out at any moment. Crumpling to the ground, he knelt on one knee as he clutched his head in his hands.

Suddenly, Sephiroth was out of the darkness and back in front of the mirror staring at himself. As if controlled by someone else, his mouth once more opened and he hissed, “She is not your mother, stupid, insolent child! I am your Mother! You are mine, mine! You are calamity’s child, a god of my making! Forget them all and learn your place at my feet, serving only me. You do not need any of them. All you need is me, me, your mother…you little monster…”

Staring in horror and revulsion at his own reflection, Sephiroth then slowly shook his head in denial. It was as if clarity had flown down and smacked the sense into him. Everything…suddenly made perfect sense to him now.

“You are nothing,” stated Sephiroth as he pulled his left arm back as if he were about to strike something. Glaring at his image, he snarled, “I don’t need you,” and then he launched his fist. The mirror cracked the instant his fist made impact upon the surface of the glass. His image was distorted now, but that wasn’t enough for him. Again and again he punched the mirror and ignored the blood flowing freely from the cuts on his knuckles. He ignored the minor pain and continued to pound away at the mirror until he couldn’t see himself anymore.

 

 

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Cloud squinted his eyes slightly as he watched the rising sun. He had just finished all of his chores, including gathering his supplies together and preparing Fenrir for departure. 

Stifling a yawn, he trudged back inside of his house to make a light breakfast when he heard the distinct sound of glass breaking. Instantly alarmed, he ran in the direction of the noise, which was the bathroom. The blond tried to open the door, but to his dismay, it was locked. Banging on the door, he called out, “Seph? Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt? Open the door, now!”

The door opened a second later to reveal a very calm looking ex-General. He regarded Cloud with a cool gaze as if the other man had interrupted something personal. In a voice that was seeping full of tranquility, he replied, “I am fine, Cloud.”

Cloud maneuvered his body so that he could peer into the bathroom, which was hard since Sephiroth blocked nearly everything. He settled for gently nudging the taller man aside so that he could get a better view. He spotted countless fragments of mirror littered all over the bathroom counter and the floor. The mirror was smashed beyond repair to the point that not one area of the mirror was undamaged. The blond raised an eyebrow as he wondered what had occurred to make the ex-General angry enough to break something. He also wondered, of all things, why Sephiroth had broken a mirror. “What…happened here?”

Sephiroth glanced at his handiwork and then looked back to Cloud as if nothing was out of the norm. “I punched it a few times.”

“Why?” Asked Cloud with a slight frown.

“Do not worry; I won.”

“…I don’t understand.”

The silver-haired man sighed, “Let’s just say…someone was trying to break me.”

Cloud was still confused and it showed as plain as day on his tired face. “Break you? Who was trying to break you?”

Sephiroth nodded curtly. “Her. The one you and your comrades mention every so often. I think she was attempting to manipulate me.”

The blond’s face was grim as he felt dread well up inside of him. One of his worst fears was Sephiroth succumbing to her again. He didn’t know if he could bear losing him to Jenova again. As strong as he had proven himself time and time again, Cloud wasn’t so sure how much strength he had left in him.

“Come with me,” started Sephiroth as he then walked away with brisk, purposeful strides. He led Cloud outside to his ‘hill’; the very hill that he had often found himself standing on and staring in that specific direction. He pointed in said direction and looked at Cloud to confirm that he was looking. “I know that you and Valentine are concerned about my obsessive behavior staring off in that direction. I didn’t know why I felt compelled to stare nor did I know why I felt so drawn to it. I think I know why now. I believe she’s somewhere in that direction. I don’t know where, but I can feel her. At first, I didn’t know or understand what was beckoning me, but I believe it is her. She has been trying to call to me, but it has been failing.”

“Failing?” Cloud repeated as he felt hope starting to blossom in his chest even though his body felt somewhat numb from the mere mention of her.

The ex-General smiled warmly at his fair-haired lover. “I think it is because of you. You have a stronger pull on me than she does, Cloud. All she sounds like to me is an annoying, insignificant buzzing noise.”

Cloud believed him. He would have been lying if he had said that he had not feared Sephiroth submitting to madness like he had in the past. The blond man had finally climbed and surpassed the wall that had separated him from his own friends. It was the same wall built by years of hate, grief, isolation, neglect, despair, and depression. The very wall he had to climb up in order to not only forgive Sephiroth but to stop hating him as well. That in itself had been one of his biggest challenges and then when it was over, he had still found himself suffering from doubt. Doubt that Sephiroth would not remain sane as he seemed to be. He had feared that the ex-General would lose himself to insanity, but now, all of the doubt and the fear seemed to ebb away into nothingness as he gazed at the man he loved.

“Cloud, I think I am ready to cross swords with you,” declared Sephiroth with a confident half-smirk.

The ex-Mercenary contemplated that for a few moments as he stared at the taller man. He looked as if he had some reservations about clashing swords with the other man.

“I am ready, Cloud,” said Sephiroth before he cast his eyes to the ground. In a voice barely above a whisper, he confessed, “I had a nightmare about the clones, Cloud. I could not stop them and I could not move. I was disgusted by them, but worse of all, I was afraid.” Then Sephiroth lifted his gaze from the ground to stare at Cloud as determination shone brightly in his green eyes. He spoke with unshakeable will that mirrored the fortitude in his face. “I do not want to be shackled by fear, Cloud. I want to overcome it and I want to stop them. How can I defend myself—or you, if I don’t learn how? There isn’t much time, Cloud.”

The blond nodded solemnly, knowing full well that his silver-haired lover was right. “If you feel up to it, then I will train you. You are right, we don’t have much time. Go fetch your sword and meet me outside in five.”

 

 

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The clanging of blades could be heard for miles around as Sephiroth blocked the majority of blows that the blond mercilessly lashed out. The ex-General had taken the defensive role since Cloud had advised that it was better to first learn how to defend himself before learning how to attack someone else.

 They had been sparring for hours now, if the sweat slicking both of their bodies was any indication of that. The ex-General had quickly learned all the sword forms as if he had always known it. His body had remembered it automatically after Cloud had demonstrated each technique. The only thing that took him a little longer to learn was a few techniques that he had not known in his past life.

“Very good, Seph,” praised Cloud as he ground First Tsurugi against Sephiroth’s slender, yet strong blade. “Now…try to strike me down!”

All reservations were gone from Sephiroth’s mind as he flung himself from Cloud and landed catlike on the ground with his sword firmly held in his left hand. Now that he had tasted what real battle could be like, he wanted more. His blood was alive and singing an old song to a dance that had been around longer than Man.

Lunging up high into the air, the ex-General seemed to fly for a few moments before he came crashing down with his silver hair and black jacket billowing wildly around him.

For a few seconds, Cloud was dumbstruck by the divine beauty of the other man flying down in the air. Sephiroth resembled a gorgeous angel on the warpath as he raised his sword above his head with both hands to bring it down upon the blond.

Fortunately, Cloud recovered in barely enough time to intercept the attack from above. He didn’t even realize Sephiroth’s sword had cut him until he felt a trickle of blood dribble down from his cheek to his neck.

Landing gracefully on his booted feet, Sephiroth gingerly sheathed his sword behind him as he stood before the blond warrior. He breathed heavily as he stared down at the slighter male, his slit-like pupils fully dilated from the excitement of battle. It quickly turned into arousal as he noticed the shallow cut on Cloud’s face. Moving his hand to the blond’s face, he wiped away the blood as if it marred his beauty. Then he leaned over and kissed the cut as if in apology.

Panting as well, Cloud felt arousal flood him as he looked up at the silver-haired angel. Grabbing Sephiroth by the face, he pulled him down for a fervent kiss that was far from gentle. Teeth scraped together as two pairs of hands hastily groped and squeezed whatever could be reached.

“Cloud,” grunted Sephiroth with all the urgency that he could muster in just his name alone.

“You’re mine,” growled the blond in a low, husky voice that promised more than a mere claiming. As if to prove his claim, he kissed Sephiroth almost brutally, their tongues swirling together in a mimic of what their swords had done mere minutes ago.

There would be no foreplay and there would be nothing gentle about this coupling. It would be hard, passionate, but oh so good. They would both come to spiral out of control until there was nothing left to do but crash and burn.

 

 

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It wasn’t long until Cloud had pinned Sephiroth down on the grass. Crouched behind the ex-General, he hurriedly unbuckled the man’s belt and hastily yanked his pants down as far as they would go. Due to Sephiroth’s stubborn boots, the tight leather pants barely got down past his knees. The need to take him was so strong and intense that he couldn’t wait a moment longer. And if Sephiroth’s low moans were anything to go by, he was just as desperate as the blond for fulfillment.

Cloud took only a few seconds to unzip his pants and tug his erect cock out of his pants. He then jerked Sephiroth up by the hips so that the man was face down with his bare ass delightfully in the air. Upon the sight of that delectable ass, Cloud hesitated once he realized he had not yet prepared him.

Annoyed by the other man’s moment of hesitation, Sephiroth used his arms to brace himself so that he could turn his head to glare heatedly at Cloud. “Just fuck me already, Cloud! I will not break.”

That was all the encouragement that the blond needed to hear regarding his decision. Gripping one hip with one hand, he used his other hand to help ease his profusely leaking erection past that tight ring of muscle. Rocking his hips shallowly, he eased himself inch by inch inside that impossibly tight, yet relaxed body. Cloud felt he would go mad from the velvet heat that convulsed sporadically around his swollen length. Only buried half-way, he paused and leaned over Sephiroth to bury his face in his back. Breathing shallowly, he waited a couple of minutes until the pressure had alleviated somewhat.

Squirming uncontrollably underneath Cloud, the ex-General found it difficult to remain still. His backside burned and he wanted more, but the blond had stopped. He had stopped! “Cloud…”

Shoving the man’s jacket and shirt up so that he could kiss right between Sephiroth’s sweat-slicked shoulder blades, the blond began to roll his hips again. Each shallow thrust drove him that much more inside of the other man until he had reached his limit. Once he was balls deep inside, he paused momentarily to grasp his bearings. Eyes screwed shut; he kissed a fiery, moist trail up the ex-General’s back until he had reached his neck. Kissing up his neck and maneuvering his mouth near Sephiroth’s ear, he rumbled, “Tell me what you want.”

“You—fucking—me—now!” Snarled a very impatient Sephiroth as he bucked back against the spiky-haired man. Fueled by their fight and by the arousal strumming in his blood, he was desperate for more even if it made him look like a whore.

Gripping Sephiroth’s hips hard, Cloud pulled out only to ram right back inside the pliant body. Fingers digging brutally into the flesh of his hips, the blond ruthlessly pounded into Sephiroth at a pace that had them both grunting and moaning in unison.

The silver-haired man refused to just lay there and take it. Spreading his thighs as far apart as possible, he repeatedly pushed back against the other body that relentlessly drove into him again and again at an insane pace that had them both shaking from the sheer pleasure of it.

Grabbing a fistful of Sephiroth’s lustrous hair, Cloud then yanked him up by the hair until he had him on his hands and knees with his back bowed. Hunched over the ex-General, he growled gutturally in his ear, “Touch yourself.”

Moaning incoherently by now, the painfully aroused ex-General barely heard the order issued from Cloud’s lips. But hear it, he did, since he found himself bracing his weight with one hand as he used his other hand to reach between his own legs to fondle himself. He cried out again and again at the intense, erotic sensation of masturbating while being mercilessly fucked from behind. It was so good and too much that he knew that it wouldn’t be long until he tumbled over the edge and spilled his pleasure.   

Each cry, each moan and groan, and every other sound that he managed to wrench out of the ex-General encouraged Cloud to increase the speed and the power of his nearly brutal thrusts into the pliant man’s writhing body. It was so damn good and he was so close that he could feel it. Just a little more and…

With a few more strokes of his frenzied, fluid slickened hand, Sephiroth screamed in euphoric bliss as he felt his body quake with his inevitable release. Spilling himself into his hand, his body shook and quivered from the pleasure that shuddered through his body. Weakened by his release, he could no longer support the combined weight of his and his lover’s. He took the blond down with him as he collapsed onto the ground in a boneless heap.

Cloud swore under his breath as he felt the muscles of Sephiroth’s ass clench excruciatingly around his rapidly thrusting cock. The spasms of the ex-General’s body were more than enough to send him over the edge of release. Jerkily driving into the ex-General’s contracting ass a couple of more times, he then discharged his seed deep into Sephiroth’s bowels before plummeting down onto the ground with him.

 Rolling onto his back beside Sephiroth, Cloud panted heavily with his eyes closed for several minutes. Eventually, his heart and breathing returned to normal and when it did, he forced himself to crawl over to the other man. Pulling the ex-General onto his back, he noted with amusement that Sephiroth was already fast asleep.

Shaking his head, the blond leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead before he proceeded to clean Sephiroth up. He then gingerly pulled the other man’s pants up until he was decent and then buckled his belt. Once he had finished attending to Sephiroth, he then tucked himself back into his pants and pulled the zipper up.

Curling up against Sephiroth, Cloud laid his head on his chest and sighed in postcoital bliss. A nap sounded really good…

 

 

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“Cloud, we need to go back to Schönnbach,” rasped Sephiroth with an urgency that was unmistakable in his raw voice. He had just woken up from a very light nap on the grass outside Cloud’s house.

Rolling onto his side, he propped himself up with one arm and stared at his spent, messy-haired lover. “Why? What’s the rush?”

“Hana, that’s why. We have to get her and bring her somewhere safe,” started the ex-General as he turned his head to gaze at the blond man. “There’s something very wrong in the sunny little town of Schönnbach, Cloud. I don’t know what it is, yet, but something about it bothers me. She is not safe there.”

Cloud slowly rose up until he was sitting up. Openly looking down at his lover with fondness, he reached over and brushed some stray silver hairs out of the man’s angelic face. “I have the same feeling, too. In some ways…” Cloud then trailed off as he looked away. He suddenly looked melancholic as he quietly admitted, “In some ways, Schönnbach reminds me of Nibelheim.”

“Nibelheim?”

The blond nodded. “It was my home town. It seemed like a nice enough place, but it was far from nice. I was…well, when I was a kid, there were some kids that liked to bully me. That’s why I wanted to become a Soldier. I wanted to be like you and stop people from hurting others. I wanted to become strong and protect everyone I cared about.”

“Be like me, huh?”

“Yeah. You were the poster child for Shinra’s S.O.L.D.I.E.R. program.  I looked up to you and thought you were a hero. I wanted to be just like you. I wanted to change the world.”

Sephiroth looked away from Cloud and gazed up at the sky, the sky that reminded him so much of Cloud’s eyes. “I may not remember everything, yet, but I know you were always a better man than I.”

Standing up, Cloud extended his hand in offering. “Don’t sell yourself short, Seph. You may not believe it, but I know you’re a good man. When Zack was alive, he once told me that you had once been a good man. At the time, I wasn’t willing to believe such a thing, but I know it to be true now.”

“Zack…” Trailed off Sephiroth as he clasped Cloud’s hand and allowed him to hoist him up to his feet. There was a faint smile on his slightly swollen lips. “Hyperactive puppy.”

“You…remember him?” Asked a surprised Cloud.

Sephiroth bit his bottom lip and shrugged. “Bits and pieces, Cloud. I remember he had a lot of energy and everyone liked him the instant they met him. Not even I was immune to his charm.”

“I see,” said Cloud with a wistful smile. “Go take a shower, Seph. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

The ex-General nodded and turned away to head towards the house. There was a noticeable limp in his step, but he didn’t care. His body ached, but it was the good kind of ache that reminded him very vividly of what they had recently done less than an hour ago.

Looking up at the sky, Cloud imagined his best friend’s beautiful, smiling face looking down at him. Shaking his head, the blond couldn’t help smiling. “I bet you have a big goofy smile on your face, Zack…since not even an amnesiac like Sephiroth can forget someone like you.”

 

 

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A/N: Sorry about the lack of fighting action. I promise there will be some in the next chapter. At least you got some lemony goodness, ne? Also, AESTHETICS is half-done and should be updated within the next few days. Thanks for reading, and for all the reviews! You guys are wonderful at motivating me to write. ;)