The journal of a knight

Jan 10th

I guess I found something to do with my free time. I had been wrong to think they were going to let me off. I got a letter from the country of Esthar. They are making me do 1,000 hours of community service and I have eight months to do it. Esthar had arranged for me to do cleaning at a park from 6 to 8 every weekday. That meant my days were going to be packed for a while.

Jan 15th

Community service sucks. This week has been so hard on me that I've been too tired to even write in this damn thing. Esthar must be crazy to think I can work a normal job and do this community sevice thing at the same time. Not like I can do anything about it. I'd have to go and talk to Laguna himself. That isn't going to happen. No one will let me near that guy. He is afterall the president.

I guess this is what I get. After all I did do something pretty bad. I won't claim I was brain washed or controlled because that isn't really true. I wanted to do the things I did at the start of it but...I don't know. I guess things weren't like I pictured them in my mind. I didn't know that being a knight would be so bloody.

Jan 16th

Marko was nice enough to give me this Sunday off. He sayed that I looked tired as hell. I slept the morning away. I couldn't think of a better thing to do with my time. It felt so good to relax for the first time in months. I'm going to go rest for a while and watch a movie. I have to get up and go to work in the morning.

Jan 17th

My boss never asked to many questions but today someting I wore made him ask questions. I was getting dressed for work this morning when I found something I had almost forgotten about. It was a necklace. It was the only thing Ultimecia ever gave me. She said it used to be her mothers and that she wanted me to have it.

The chain was made out of silver and the object that hang from it was a dragon. The dragon was silver and had bright red stones in his eyes. It was the sign of a power sorceress. I hadn't worn it during any of my encounters with Squall. When I faced him I wanted to look like the Seifer he knew. And that meant I wore my chocker.

This morning I took off the chocker and put the necklace around my neck. I knew people would recgonize it but I didn't care. They knew who I was anyway. They didn't need to see the necklace to know who I was.

When I got to work none of the people I worked with said anything about the necklace. I had been working there a while now and they had gotten used to me. It wasn't until Marko saw it that he asked me about it.

"I know I shouldn't be asking you this sort of thing," he said. "But I've wanted to ask since you started working here. What was going on between you and Ultimecia? Was she like your girlfriend?"

I had never thought of her as a girlfriend but I guess that is what people think. After all it had been my romantic dream but in the end it had been everything but romantic.

"No way," I said. "It was more like a father-daughter relationship. I took care of her."

"I see," he said. "She gave you that necklace didn't she?"

"Yeah," I sighed. Talking about her was making my stomach twist into knots. I hadn't had to talk about her since the war. "Look this is hard for me...I haven't talked about it before."

"It's ok," Marko said. "I shouldn't have asked."

"Forget it," I said.

The rest of the day I couldn't even work. Talking about her had really upset me. I hoped Zell would come in and take my mind off things. I hadn't seen him since the first time he came in. I couldn't help but wonder what he was up too.

Jan 18th

I have a date and I can't believe it! It is with the girl that hired me at the store. I've been talking to her off and on. Pretty much all I know about her is her name, Melisa Waterfield. Right before I got off from work today she asked me if I would be interesting in doing something with her. I told her that I would love to. I'd decided that I'd skip community service to hang out with this girl.

Melisa wasn't the most beautiful woman in the world but she was good to look at. She had shoulder length hair that she had dyed a mix between pink and red. Her face was as close to a perfect circle as a face could get. She had perfect lips that didn't need lip stick to be sassy red. Her eyes were what made me accept the date. They were bright blue with dashes of green in them. Breath taking eyes.

I'm going over to her place tomorrow to hang out after work. Screw community service. They aren't going to give me shit for not being there one day.

Jan 19

The date went pretty good. It had one big surprise. After work Melisa and I went back to her place. I thought my place was run down. She leaved on the bad side of town in an apartment building that didn't look fit for people to leave in. Half of it looked like it had been through a fire.

This couldn't be right? We worked at the same place and she made more than me. How could my aparment be so much better than hers. I didn't ask her this of course as we walked inside.

Once we got inside I relized why she had such a crappy apartment. In the living asleep was a one year old baby. My eye brows raised as she walked across the room.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Shawn before," she said. "I didn't think you would accept this date if you knew I had a baby."

"Where is daddy?" I asked.

"I haven't seen him since before the baby was born," she said sitting down on the couch. "He was just a one-night stand. I don't even remember his name."

"You take care of him all by yourself?" I asked sitting down next to her.

"It's hard," she said. "But I manage."

Shawn was the cutest baby I had ever seen. He had his mother's eyes. The same bright blue eyes. His dirty blonde hair to match his eyes. Blond hair and blue eyes.

We spent the whole afternoon watching movies and talking. She had been working at the store since she turned 18. Before that she had been a waitress. I felt so bad for her. She had to work a crappy job and take care of a baby.

When I left to go home at 9 we decided to get together again on Saturday. I would have made it sooner but I couldn't afford to get in trouble for missing community service. I really like this girl.