Taking Care of Business

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Chapter 2

I stood as still as I could as the guy behind me tapped the muzzle of the gun against my head warningly not to move. Heh... not that I needed the hint. I've seen what the hell a gun does to a guy at close range and trust me, it aint pretty. I had no intention of redecorating this place with my brains.

...well... what was left of them anyway.

In front of me, Tseng's fists clenched and he started to blanch white slowly - one of those rare times on the job when he let slip that he actually gave some sort of damn about me other than as a moron of a subordinate. But just for a second, what I was thinking was more along the lines of wondering how the hell I was gonna get out of this one, and how much I'd rather have stayed out in the cold than have a gun pointing at my head right now.

It went completely silent for a second, Rude and Tseng stock still like statues in front of me, Rude still holding stubbornly to the owner's shoulder like some kind of human comfort blanket. I could only guess that there were guns pointing at them too, as I heard another 'click' behind me - the sound of someone else cocking a gun.

Guess we were in a pretty bad situation here, huh?

I gulped and growled in the back of my throat. Having a gun pointed at the back of your head on a regular basis? Mostly goes with the job, but lemme tell ya, it doesn't get any funner the more it happens. Plus to be pretty honest that look on Tseng's face was making me feel pretty torn up. Dammit why do I have to be such an obsessed son of a bitch? I got a gun at my head, and the thing I was worried about the most was Tseng. Guess I really am a sucker for the guy. I frowned and tried to move one of my hands inside my jacket slowly to get Lola (my gun. Yeah yeah I named my gun, so sue me) from her holster. The guy with the gun to my head just yanked at my 'tail and growled in warning. Ok then, that was option A outta the damn window.

Wait a sec Reno, get that lazy-ass brain into gear and think. There's gotta be some way...

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard footsteps behind, coming in the door and past the broken barricade. Hard, heavy footfall. Whoever the hell they were, they were definitely walking in with a purpose, and I didn't figure that they were here just to deliver the damn post.

I followed Tseng's eyes as they surveyed... whoever the hell it was that just came in the door, watching that sinister glare spread across his face as the footsteps stopped. The guy who they belonged to had stopped next to me, and was currently surveying my face like I was a fucking circus freak, though his face wasn't exactly Mr Average Joe's.

The guy was Wutaian, that was easy enough to see. He had dark charcoal eyes that glinted sinisterly in the cheap electric light of the shop, and slicked back black hair like Tseng's only not as long (and nowhere near as sexy). That wasn't the thing that drew my eye though. The thing that really stood out, was that the whole left side of his face was covered in slice-like scars, as though someone had laid the guy down and used his face for a chopping board for a damn month. He had an aura that just screamed 'psycho', which is why... looking back, I wonder why the hell I opened my damn mouth

"What the hell you lookin' at, you piece of crap?" I sneered at the guy.

...Wrong move Reno, definitely the wrong goddamn move.

The Wutaian raised an eyebrow, almost in amusement. "I'm not exactly sure..." A grimace passed over his face and a moment later I felt something sharp and cold press against my throat lightly. A razor. I tensed up and tried not to wince. "let's see..." He growled me, narrowing his eyes. "How about I open it up and find out."

"And you are?" Tseng butted in suddenly, and I could swear that just for a second, that was desperation in the guy's voice. Not that anybody would be able to tell. Well, anybody but me, anyhow. And in any other situation, I would've been beaming with pride that I could get that kind of emotion from the cold son of a bitch. But when you're being used as a hostage it's kind of hard to get egocentric, even for me.

The guy let the razor pull away from me and he turned to face Tseng, letting me relax just a little. He sighed.

"If you have to ask me, I'm disappointed in you. I thought the Turks were meant to be the most informed operation in Shinra. And when I get here what do I see? A group of common thugs, beating an innocent man to near unconsciousness."

Almost on cue, the pawn shop owner coughed self-pityingly and spat up blood onto the floor.

Tseng tensed up visibly at those words, like the other Wutaian had just insulted his mother or something. Heh... one thing ya can't say about Tseng is that he takes this work lightly...

"I see..." Tseng glanced down at the beaten guy on the floor with a cold, unconcerned eyebrow raised. "I take it it was you who stole those weapons instead?" He asked flatly, yet again jumping ahead of me in the brains department. It would have taken me maybe a whole half an hour to consider that. Hell it would've taken Rude about a day, but there ya go - there's a reason why he's the boss, and that was it.

The scarred guy nodded and smirked. "I also made an annonymous call to Shinra, informing them that this poor idiot had them, if that's what you were wondering."

...Huh?!

This whole thing was a set up?! And Heidigger had sent us straight into it.

Son of a bitch.

Tseng just stood there, an indifferent look on his face. Then after a second, someone else spoke. Someone I hadn't expected to even grunt in this conversation but yup, there he was, speaking, and saying... something that made my jaw just goddamn drop in horror.

"Yeah? If it was that much fuckin' trouble, why don't you just shoot us?"

Both me and Tseng's eyes snapped across to the suddenly out of his damn tree and suicidal Rude, who had his lip curled up in that evil smirk that he sometimes gets when he's pissed off as hell. He still had his grip on the pawn shop owner's shoulder, digging into it as though it were foam. Apparently the guy on the floor was getting panicky - his eyes were wild with the pain Rude was inflicting and the horror of being surrounded by idiots with guns. I just blinked. What the hell was Rude thinking?! Had the guy just lost his goddamn mind?! My jaw stayed where it was - nearly hitting the floor as the scarred creep began to grin gruesomely. From the look in his eyes, I was figuring he liked that idea.

"If thats the way you want it." He chuckled, and those psychotic looking Wutaian eyes narrowed harshly. All I could do was glare at the guy as he turned and sneered at me. I managed to keep my loud mouth shut this time. I figured that speaking right now would probably take me on a little roadtrip down death valley a hell of a lot faster than Rude had just guaranteed.

But not by much.

"Start with the ponytailed freak."

Oh... holy crap. Thanks Rude, you just handed me a fucking death sentence!

I felt the gun press harder against the back of my head and I winced, muttering some kinda curse on Rude, but my eyes were drawn back over to Tseng on the other side of the room, who for a change looked just as damn horrified as I'd been, but I frowned and gritted my teeth instead. If there's one thing that son of a bitch has taught me, it's to go out with a little goddamn dignity. Besides, I was looking at Tseng right now, and I figured... if I was gonna die here, I may as well go out looking into the eyes of the guy I loved.

Ah hell who cares if it sounds cheesy? I was facing my own damn death here, I wasn't too concerned with whether what I was thinking was too goddamned girly.

"A-AAAAAAAHH!"

Before I got the chance to even think of any slick last words, the whole damn room was engulfed in an earsplitting scream. It took me a while to realise what the hell had happened.

Rude had just ripped the guy on the floor's shoulder out of joint and let go of him. Everyone in the room just stared in surprise at Rude's none-too-smart looking face as the pawn shop owner writhed around on the floor for a second, screaming to his damn self and holding his arm pathetically. This was the point where I was pretty sure Rude was outta his tree. Actually no - Rude wasn't just outta his tree, but he was about a mile and a half away from his fucking tree. Tseng didn't exactly look too impressed either...

"Very impressive." The freak next to me butted in sarcasticly, then just snorted and looked back at me. But my eyes were on Rude still... there was something going on in that asshole's head, and I was trying to figure out what it was.

I wasn't quick enough though. The next thing I knew, Rude muttered something to the writhing mass of bloody flesh on the floor, a second later it had picked itself up in a panic, screamed again and started running away towards the entrance, everyone's eyes following it in utter damn confusion.

Heh... everyone except me anyhow. Despite what people tell me, and despite what my brain might have me think most of the damn time - I aint stupid. And I sure as hell aint got a death wish - I'm a self centered son of a bitch. So somehow I figured this diversion was the only chance I was gonna get, nodded at Tseng in some kinda warning and ran the fuck for the nearest cover I could find. It just happened to be the shop counter next to Rude and Tseng, which they were already climbing over by the time the gunshots started. Apparently the others had finally realised that their hostage was getting away, and were pretty damn unhappy about it.

One second I was running across the room, the next the air around me was filled with goddamn bullets whizzing past my head, missing by near inches. The only thing I could do was grit my teeth and hope to hell that one of them didn't strike home. Tseng and Rude knelt up and gave me some covering fire as I threw myself into the air, slid across the counter and nearly landed head first into Tsengs lap. Hey not that that would exactly be a bad thing, but I was more concerned with wondering wether I actually had been hit. My whole damn body was numb with the adrenaline of nearly being shot, so I wouldn't know even if I'd got a bullet in the ass on my way over. I seemed to be in one piece though, and even though I nearly knocked the guy off his feet in my lameass attempt to dive over the table, I could swear Tseng's hand didn't rest on mine by accident as he corrected himself, still shooting at what turned out to be three others, who had managed to find cover behind that materia cabinet and were doing the same. The guy with the scarred face didn't exactly seem too put out that I'd got away, which actually creeped me out more than a little. This wasn't the time to get freaked out though. That could happen when I'd survived and was getting happily drunk at home.

"Welcome back Reno." Rude grunted and smirked at me smarmily, apparently pretty proud of somehow getting me out of that tricky situation. Ugh... I could tell just from the look on his face he was gonna make me buy him a hell of a lot of drinks before he let me live this down. I just nodded and patted him on the shoulder, pulling out Lola to help with the shootout that was happening around me.

"We need to make it back to the car." Tseng growled over the whizz of bullets, one of those damn serious looks on his face as he finally moved his hand away from mine reluctantly, placing it on the floor to steady himself. "they've got the advantage here, all we can do is retreat to the car and get back up to the plate."

Rude grunted in agreement and started peering around for an escape route. Me? I didn't answer. I was too preoccupied trying to shoot the son of a bitch that had yanked my 'tail earlier. Believe it or not, I tend to hold grudges over things like that. The one problem was that as we were shooting the hell out of the materia case, the scarred freak was slowly sliding his hand inside it, still ducked down safely behind cover as his hand slid through the now broken glass, searching for something.

"Uh... boss..."

I saw Tseng's eyes narrow as he saw what was happening. Materia aint exactly as effective as a gun unless you work on it, but damn, it could still pack a punch, and this guy's hand was wandering over towards a piece of fire materia...

Tseng shook his head, still crazily calm as he surveyed the situation, as though he was just watching a movie or something. We were running out of time. They were between us and the entrance, and if that guy got his hands on some fire materia, our asses were burned to a crisp. And I was thinking that Turk flambe wasn't exactly gonna be the tastiest dish in the world.

"Seems we dont have much time to make a plan." Tseng said lowly, ducking as a bullet potholed the glass weapons case behind him. "We might have to run for it." He nodded at us grimly. "Reno? Rude?"

We both nodded back silently and headed to the side of the counter, pretty sure that what we were about to do was the equivalent of standing up and screaming 'shoot me' at them. But we didn't have much of a choice here. Well, we did, but the other option was to end up as three neat piles of ash - one with a pair of sunglasses, one with an Electro Rod, and the other with a weird forehead dot on top.

"One..." Tseng growled. It was then my stupidly slow brain decided to work.

...hold on one sec... weapons cabinet?

"Two..."

WEAPONS cabinet?! How the hell did I miss that one?!

"THREE!"

I sighed and shook my head as I tugged Tseng and Rude back from the kamikazee run.

...you complete moron Reno.