Matters of Perception
folder
Final Fantasy Anime › Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
746
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Final Fantasy Anime › Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
746
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Tainted Perfection
Remember the day that I fell? I do. It was unlike any other. And it is probably not the day you are thinking of. It was not a day to remember or hardly one to imagine. It was.... Loathsome. But a day is still a day, nonetheless, no matter how one chooses to look at it.
It was far before the war with Wutai. I wonder if anyone would have ever thought that. That was a meaningless war. President ShinRa had us fight only for power. Power and money. There was no purpose. Just like any other human war. Vengeance and death, blood without reason, decay of the soul to become a stain on the hearts of humanity. Pointless.
I do not think it was even necessary, but that is how the political differences are settled. And ShinRa had become a nation in its wealth. It was more than that in its power and utter control. And they wanted utter submission. From every last thing. I could not help but envy Wutai. They had the freedom I never did – why would I long to take that away?
But that is the way of things. In the world, as in life, nothing is ever fair. A soldier is but a soldier, and everyone knows that soldiers are but pawns. To do as told, it is a simple fate, but the only one that can ever happen. After all, soldiers are mindless drones, are they not?
Mindless, and unfeeling. It was taught to me for, so very long. I cannot remember. The war with Wutai was just a perfect example. One everyone seems to know. One everyone seems to hate. Do I blame them? No. But they blame me. And no one knows how I think. No one knows what I felt. Not that it matters any longer. As much as I idealized them, they are still human, and humans are a part of this Planet.
No, the day I fell was long before my teen aged years, even. And I would have you know that I was in Wutai when I was nineteen. This moment, this... Day. It was well over ten years before then. Before there was war, before there was orders from ShinRa, before SOLDIER. Just a small boy in a broken world. At the merciless hands of an brilliant, but deviously insane scientist.
He had done experiments before. That I was used to. I had to be. He was always there with something. Always speaking, always lecturing. Always...something. He had given me injections before. I was almost indifferent to that, even. At the time, I did not know what most of them were. Sometimes he would tell me, but I usually did not remember. Perhaps, and more likely, it was could not. There was always so many.
He even had a habit of beating me. For various reasons. It was always something different. I had not listened to him. One of his experiments did not work properly. One of the injections didn’t take properly the first time, or the second, or sometimes the third. I had intentionally broke one of his rules. I did not study enough. I failed one of my tests. He wanted to test the strength of my recovery skills. ...To name a few.
I was six. But he did not see me as a six year old child. He did not see me as a child. Just his experiment. Something to be worked with, worked on, and eventually perfected. Perfection was necessary, or he would have thrown me away. Cast aside and left for dead. Maybe he would have killed me. He had more than tools enough.
I was owned. And he had my rights. He threatened me with it every single day. At least once. Every chance he could get, when he saw I was slipping, not to his idea of his perfection, he threatened my life. He wanted to make sure I knew my place. Knew, and stayed there, like a good little weapon.
He slowly stripped the humanity from me. Humanity is not something I knew. It is not something he ever gave to me. It is not something I ever learned. He tried to erase it from my being. Humanity and feeling. He had an intense desire to wipe any emotion from me, to make me blank as a doll. So he could mold me into the perfection he so desired.
He wanted to make sure nothing would ever touch me. So he did, instead. Him and his hands of science. He always said it was for my own good. That I needed it. That he was doing everything only to help me. Purge me of this, uncleanliness. To help me become strong. His vulgar touches, that is what truly, slowly drove off every last bit of emotion and humanity inside of me. It didn’t matter if I wanted it or not. He was always there.
The day I fell, that was the day he finally succeeded. I was still only six years old.
It was far before the war with Wutai. I wonder if anyone would have ever thought that. That was a meaningless war. President ShinRa had us fight only for power. Power and money. There was no purpose. Just like any other human war. Vengeance and death, blood without reason, decay of the soul to become a stain on the hearts of humanity. Pointless.
I do not think it was even necessary, but that is how the political differences are settled. And ShinRa had become a nation in its wealth. It was more than that in its power and utter control. And they wanted utter submission. From every last thing. I could not help but envy Wutai. They had the freedom I never did – why would I long to take that away?
But that is the way of things. In the world, as in life, nothing is ever fair. A soldier is but a soldier, and everyone knows that soldiers are but pawns. To do as told, it is a simple fate, but the only one that can ever happen. After all, soldiers are mindless drones, are they not?
Mindless, and unfeeling. It was taught to me for, so very long. I cannot remember. The war with Wutai was just a perfect example. One everyone seems to know. One everyone seems to hate. Do I blame them? No. But they blame me. And no one knows how I think. No one knows what I felt. Not that it matters any longer. As much as I idealized them, they are still human, and humans are a part of this Planet.
No, the day I fell was long before my teen aged years, even. And I would have you know that I was in Wutai when I was nineteen. This moment, this... Day. It was well over ten years before then. Before there was war, before there was orders from ShinRa, before SOLDIER. Just a small boy in a broken world. At the merciless hands of an brilliant, but deviously insane scientist.
He had done experiments before. That I was used to. I had to be. He was always there with something. Always speaking, always lecturing. Always...something. He had given me injections before. I was almost indifferent to that, even. At the time, I did not know what most of them were. Sometimes he would tell me, but I usually did not remember. Perhaps, and more likely, it was could not. There was always so many.
He even had a habit of beating me. For various reasons. It was always something different. I had not listened to him. One of his experiments did not work properly. One of the injections didn’t take properly the first time, or the second, or sometimes the third. I had intentionally broke one of his rules. I did not study enough. I failed one of my tests. He wanted to test the strength of my recovery skills. ...To name a few.
I was six. But he did not see me as a six year old child. He did not see me as a child. Just his experiment. Something to be worked with, worked on, and eventually perfected. Perfection was necessary, or he would have thrown me away. Cast aside and left for dead. Maybe he would have killed me. He had more than tools enough.
I was owned. And he had my rights. He threatened me with it every single day. At least once. Every chance he could get, when he saw I was slipping, not to his idea of his perfection, he threatened my life. He wanted to make sure I knew my place. Knew, and stayed there, like a good little weapon.
He slowly stripped the humanity from me. Humanity is not something I knew. It is not something he ever gave to me. It is not something I ever learned. He tried to erase it from my being. Humanity and feeling. He had an intense desire to wipe any emotion from me, to make me blank as a doll. So he could mold me into the perfection he so desired.
He wanted to make sure nothing would ever touch me. So he did, instead. Him and his hands of science. He always said it was for my own good. That I needed it. That he was doing everything only to help me. Purge me of this, uncleanliness. To help me become strong. His vulgar touches, that is what truly, slowly drove off every last bit of emotion and humanity inside of me. It didn’t matter if I wanted it or not. He was always there.
The day I fell, that was the day he finally succeeded. I was still only six years old.