Locked In

CHAPTER 2


Will you be there?


# Seifer #

Annoyed I zap through several TV channels. Triple Triad championship, boring, soap opera, boring, talk show,
nauseating, soccer, Galbadia vs. Esthar, dull.
"BORED!" Fujin gets up when I reach a news channel and starts walking around in the small living room.
"Yeah!" If it won't stop raining soon I will go mad. FH is a beautiful little town, but with bad weather it's just like the TV program, boring.

I glance briefly to Hyperion resting in her case. Not even training will be possible. I might be wet to my bones within seconds. On the other hand, who cares? I jump off the couch and reach for Hyperion, not without achieving a questioning look from Fujin, and am about walking out of the tiny house, when something in the news catches my attention.
"..... 're informed that a terrible event has taken place at Balamb Garden. Obviously the hero of the second sorceress war, now Commander of Balamb Garden, Squall Leonhart, has been injured perilous during a fight yesterday. According to the medical staff he is in critical condition and it's not yet clarified what causes his current state. As soon as there will be a change in the young commander's state of health we will further inform...."

A clattering noise gets my attention back to the world. I didn't even realize loosening my grip around Hyperion's hilt until it felt on the floor. Fujin looks at me sceptical. I don't care. Can this really be true? No, no I must have fallen asleep or something. Yeah, exactly. May someone wake me up now, please! This has to be a bad joke, right? Hyne it's impossible. Leonhart? Dying? No way, I mean he is...

"HUMAN," Fujin declares, reading my thoughts easily. Fuck. She's right. If this is a joke someone's gonna pay. Because, you know, THAT'S NOT FUNNY. Not that I care about the ice princess much but... Yeah right. Who am I fooling here? Of course I care, always have.

Ever since I first met him at the orphanage. The small boy crying in the rain about the loss of his sis for days. Nobody could touch him when he was like this. Me the only person he was responding to. More out of annoying but anyways. Well, I guess I always had a soft spot for the little fucker. Don’t get me wrong here I’m not gay or anything, far from it but Leonhart always has been a special case. Even under the spell of Ultimecia I was unable to harm him.

This thoughts running through my brain I don’t even realise Fuujin and Raijin staring at me.
"GO!" Fuujin simply says.
I takes a few seconds for my brain to work out the meaning of the simple spoken word.
"What? What do you mean ‘go’?" The only answer I get from the red eyed woman is a look that means ‘Don’t think I’m stupid, you know exactly what I mean’. Hyne.
"Are you insane woman? Why would I want to go to Balamb and see Leonhart , of all people??"
"Yeah, why would he want to do that , you know?" The large man seated on an nearby chair comments.
Fu ignores him and keeps her eye on me, smiling. That really, really creeps me out. Hey don’t give me that look. Did YOU ever saw her smile? See!
I get the meaning though.

"Hell, Fu. Do you really think they want ME there, of all people. Do you think I just can go there and say ‘Hi, I think you remember me, I’m the man who wanted to kill you. Just stopping by to say hi to young Leonhart’? I don’t fucking think so!"
Fu isn’t very impressed by my outburst and doesn’t stop that scary smile of her’s.
"Shit...they are going to kill me on first sight...HELL!" Nevertheless I find myself stuffing my few belongings into the olive duffle bag.


"Next Stop, Balamb!" a mechanic voice reveals. FINALLY! I exit the train in a hurry and start walking through town. At last I see my destination clear in front of me. Why the fuck do I still have the feeling that this is not one of my best ideas? A bad idea actually. Really, really bad.

Standing in front of the huge hospital I can’t get rid of the frightening feeling in my guts. "Damn. I’m a fucking sorceress knight, THE sorceress knight. Let’s get this over with Almasy," I murmur to myself. With a last strengthening breath I enter the building, not paying any attention to the security guard at the entrance. He seems to recognize me though because only seconds after I passed the bully man a strong grip around my shoulder makes me stop.
"So, Mister Almasy. Where do you think you're going?" he says with a dense grin on his face.
"Go, fuck yourself." I try to struggle out of his grip, but he wont let go. One hand reflexively grabbing the hilt of Hyperion I glare at the guard. Fuck, I have to calm down. It won't help if I get myself into trouble. I sigh.
" 'm going to go for a formal call to the ice princess."
He looks at me puzzled. How dense can that man be?
"Leonhart," I declare rolling my eyes.
"You've got no permission to get through to the Commander I'm afraid." He seems to shrink a little under the glare I give him. Hey, I learned from the best.
"So get me a fucking permission!" I tell him with an icy voice.
"I'm not allowed to provide permissions."
"Then get someone who IS" I shout.
He nods slightly and points towards a chair expecting me to sit down. I don't. The guard gets a cell phone out of his pocket and dials a number. He's speaking low, but I can hear him anyhow.
"Sir, here's Tucker, entrance hall..... We've got a situation here. Seifer Almasy calls for a permission to visit Commander Leonhart. ....Yes..... Yes Sir I'm sure. Seifer Almasy..... Yes Sir." He switches his phone of.
"Wait here," he directs towards me.
After waiting for what seems to be an eternity, but might as well only be a few minutes, the elevator door in front of me opens.
Oh fuck its bad. I can see it on their expressions. Kinneas looks like his favourite cowboy hat had been trampled down by a horde of barbarous chocobos and Trepe looks even worse, like she was crying a long time. Trepe crying? Hell.

"Seifer..."her voice is cracking and she takes a deep breath before she's able to continue "What do you want?"
"Where is he? What happened?" I glare at her. My always low amount of patience is running out entirely.
"That's nothing of your business," the auburn haired cowboy says.
"Like hell it is. Tell me WHAT HAPPENED!" I get a grip on his collar and drag him towards the next wall.
"Seifer...." The woman starts again "we don’t know exactly....he must have got hurt during a fight."
"Yeah, that much I already know," I shout out, still holding the cowboy in place.
"He has a head trauma..."she tries to fight back her tears, useless.".... he is in a coma Seifer...and...possibly brain dead. They're still making tests, but.... it's bad." I drop the cowboy. No way. NO FUCKING WAY. That's not happening.

My stomach heaves and I run out of the hospital, collapsing on the front lawn throwing up violently. When the convulsing finally I gasp for breath. I don’t know why this news affect me that much. May it be.... NO, NONONONONO I don’t have feelings for him, I don’t....yeah, sure. Pull yourself together Almasy.
When I look up I see Quistis standing in front of me, looking curious.
"What?" I manage to say. She just shakes her head and indicates me to follow her. Back inside she holds out her hand like expecting me to give her something. When I look at her curious she points at Hyperion. "No way," I declare.
"Seifer. There's no way in hell you take that thing with you. When you want to see him, hand over the blade." I sigh but detach it from my belt.
"If something happens to it, I swear..." She takes the blade and says "We'll take care of it." After putting Hyperion away we enter the elevator together with Kinneas. He pushes at the button with the 13 on it and a slightly humming sound indicates we are actually moving upwards. Nobody says something. Possibly brain dead, Hyne.

When we exit the elevator I instantly see the group of young people standing together in front of what seems to be the entrance to the Intensive Care Unit. Four pairs of eyes are watching us walking towards the little group. Everyone is there. Tilmitt, chicken-wuss, president Loire and of course Queen Rinoa. They look at me like I just grew a second head.
"What? ‘s my hair gone green suddenly or something?" Well, actually I can’t blame them. After all I was the guy who wanted them dead. But damn, I had been under the spell of a sorceress, kids. They finally look away, obviously not wanting to waste their time with questions at the moment. Fine, suits me. Or maybe just silently understanding? Yeah, whatever. Hyne, I sound like HIM by now.
"Let me see him" I say to Quistis, only loud enough for her to hear. She slightly shakes her head. "We're not allowed to disturb at the moment, they said he needs rest."
"Hyne, Trepe. I won't disturb them, okay...." I shout out, lowering my voice again I say "If he's going to die I want to be there.....with him." Quistis looks at me like I just told her I explored the Himalaya barefoot. "What....?" I form the words with my lips but don't vocalize them. Yeah, I like him, so? Hell, I don't want him to die and without fail not alone.
"Okay..." my former instructor whispers, barely audible. She points at the door opener and when I'm reaching out to push it the voice of the blond martial artist catches my ear "Hey, what do you think you're doing..."
Before I get the chance to answerer Quistis says "Zell! Drop it. He has the same right to see Squall, like anyone of us."
Wow. I never thought I would live trough the day Trepe stands up for me. Somehow it's not THAT satisfying at the moment though. When the tattooed boy backs off, pissed but not arguing, I push the button and enter the ICU followed by Quistis. So far, so bad.
A nurse gives us a suspicious look and puts out "Miss Trepe, I already told you, the Commander needs rest, and additionally we are doing a lot of test at the moment, so please wait outsi..."
I cut her off. "No! I need to see him, now! I will be nearly invisible, come on..." I try to force a charming smile on my lips. Apparently it worked, at least a little. She looks at me seeming to consider what to say.
"Are you related?" she asks finally.
"No" I admit "... he is..." thinking of a good answer I add "...my boyfriend." Of course that's not true and Leonhart would kill me on the spot if he ever heard that, but what was I supposed to say. Trepe's jaw drops and she's about to say something, but when I look at her warningly she just nods.
I'm led in a white, sterile looking single bedroom and the nurse leaves with an "I'll give you ten minutes". I nod.

When my eyes fall on the lithe figure in the large bed I once again feel like trapped in a dream. A bad one. Squall's small body is attached to different kinds of cables, IV's and Hyne knows what this other things are good for. In his mouth is some kind of tube, attached to a large machine, to guarantee his breathing I presume. His delicate hands rest on top of light blue covers. Chocolate coloured strands falling messily in his face and beautiful blue-grey eyes are hidden behind heavy eyelids. He's paler and thinner than I ever saw him before and looks small and vulnerable. Obviously his job as Commander is more exhausting then you might think.
I slowly run my hand over the scar on his forehead. My equal. I just stand there, unable to speak, striking the soft brown hair out of his beautiful face. Possibly brain dead. No. I’m not willing to believe that. He looks peaceful in a strange way, just like he is only asleep. Possibly brain dead.... The sentence spins through my head in an endless loop.

I don't know how long I was standing there, just looking at him but I'm quite sure it hadn't been ten minutes. I jump a little when a soft female voice says "I'm sorry, but we have to work here now, so please say good bye for the moment!" I nod silently. Once again I look at the pale form in the hospital bed. It's hard to leave him like this. There's so much I want to say, so much I want him to know, but at the moment there's nothing I can do but follow the nurses request. With the nurse watching me, I lean close to his right ear and whisper "Hey, Leonhart, don't give up on me now, you hear me? You still owe me one, remember? Just stay alive,....please." With that I turn my back on him and leave the room.





# Squall #

-= Come here little lion, come to me=-

"It's dark. I can't see you. Where are you?" And who are you I like to add but don't.

-=You will find me, just go on=-

Hyne, how am I supposed to find you, whatever you are? It's too damn dark, I can't see anything. Go on you said. Am I going? I don't know. I can't feel anything under my feet. Actually I can't even feel my feet.
"Keep talking, so I can follow your voice!" I request.

-=That's not necessary. You will find me=-

That's great. I'm blind and cold and don't know where I actually am, AND I try to find someone I don't even know. How should I know it's not dangerous?

-=Don't be afraid child. I will not harm you=-

What's that now? Can you read my thoughts? Great. Well I think I have no choice, so I keep doing what I did, though I don't exactly know what it is. I'm confused.
After long time of silence I can feel something close to me. Something cold and huge. May it be...? No, that's not possible.
"Shiva ?"

-=I'm here child=-

Feeling her cold arms close around me I feel strangely safe. Never before did she speak to me. Not even when I begged her. What happened?
"Where are we?" She keeps holding me in her strong embrace and starts to rock our bodies back and forth.

-=In your mind=-

Her voice is strong and soft at the same time. I feel better now, but I'm still confused. What's
that supposed to mean?
"In my mind?" I ask.

-=Yes, child. Deep in your mind=-

"How did we get there? I mean I know it's possible for ME to be my mind, because it's mine and I presume you're always here when you're junctioned but how..." Arg that's fucking confusing.
"Okay. WHY are we here? What happened? "

-=You are hurt little lion. Your body is still alive, but fading. That's why I am here=-

"Hurt? You mean I'm dying or something?"

-=Yes=-

Hyne. I try to remember what happened but the memories are blurred. Is it really possible that my body is dying? I mean, Hello. I'm not in pain or something, cold maybe but otherwise I'm perfectly fine. Not even my head is aching anymore. My head....a faint memory of me having the strongest headache ever reaches my mind.
"I hurt my head?"

-=You did=-

I remember. Those fight the other day when I tried to protect Rinoa and fell hard on my back, hitting my head. The headache I had afterwards. The incident with Rinoa in our bedroom. I shudder.
"I remember."
She strokes my hair and hums silently.
"What am I supposed to do?"

-=You have to make a choice=-

"What choice?" I ask, not sure I want to know the answer.

-=Whether you want fight and live even if it's painful, or to die peaceful without pain=-

"What do you mean?" Of course I want to live. What choice is that?

-=As I said, you are hurt deeply little lion not only physical. It will be hard and painful to keep on living =-

That makes me think. Not only physical? I'm used to pain, physical pain. I am also used to other things, like being left...even if that hurts more than anything else. Is that what she meant? Will I be alone if I choose to live? I don't want to be alone. I always was alone and I hate it.
"Will you be there?"

-=That depends, child=-

"On what?"

-=It depends on you're choice=-

Huh? So what? When I choose to live she will leave me and when I choose to die she will be there, or the other way around? I've got a feeling she won't tell me. It doesn't hurt to try though.
"So if I live you will be there?"

-=I can not tell you now my child=-

Great. Well, what's the worst possible case? I live and all of my so called friends, including Shiva, leave me during recovery....Or I die alone. No, no, no. I don't wanna die alone. Panic rises in me. I don't wanna die. I hear her humming again and it calms me a little.

-=Did you make you're choice=-

"Yes..." I'd rather be alive without anyone else, than die alone, right? Will I?
"No....I don't know."

-=Time is running out child, you have to decide=-

I sigh. What kind of choice is that anyway?

-=Lion, you have to chose =-

Her voice is urging.
What am I supposed to do? I don't know. How can I choose between the two things I'm afraid of the most? What's the lesser of the two evils? I don't know, HYNE, I don't know.....

-=Child, give me you're answer, NOW=-

I feel something haul on me, pulling me away form her. Her cold body leaving quickly, though I want to hold on, keep her with me. She drifts away even more, or me I can't tell. Tears running down my cheeks. Don't want to be alone....

"I WANT TO LIVE" I scream "I want to live....live..."


TBC

Author's note: So, here it is. Chapter two. I know it took like forever but blame Seifer. He refused to act like I wanted him to. And even now I'm not entirely satisfied with him, but yeah.*sigh* And, YES I know it's a terrible cliffhanger but Ch. 3 will be up soon, promise!!! So tell me if you like it, hate it and if it's worth continueing (? this spelling looks kinda strange...whatever) :)