Vincent's Horrid Poetry Hour
folder
Final Fantasy VII › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
9
Views:
1,003
Reviews:
30
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VII › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
9
Views:
1,003
Reviews:
30
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Night of Horrible Poetry
The Night of Terror!
This was a nice night of all nights,
Red XIII: It was the best of nights, it was the worst of nights.
It was a night that was to be remembered,
With the killing and slaying of those that he loved,
Yuffie: (singing) The night Santa went crazy, the night Kris Kringle went nuts, Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole, without stepping in reindeer guts…
Vincent was just a terror.
He danced and he sang as he took lives away,
Barrett: Carnage! The Musical.
Fires from the gun and bodies on the floor,
What a night this was, nothing but gore
As he pranced along, going on for more.
Sephiroth: It’s as if it were written by the misbegotten spawn of Dr. Seuss and Tim Burton.
Valentine went on his rampage of blood
A grin on his lips, a smile of love,
As he entered a house where people were sleeping
And cut off their heads, one, two, and three!
Vincent: Von! Two! Three decapitated bodies, ah-ah-ah-ah!
Barrett: Now that is just fuckin’ disturbing.
He traveled around, walking on foot
Killing by kicking, with shiny golden boots
Yuffie: I knew those things were dangerous.
There was nothing but joy as blood flooded the streets
Everyone around, saw what they would meet.
As it continued, this marvelous game
Vincent felt nothing, not even a drop of shame
The slaughters continued all through the night
Chaos and demons chanting ‘fight fight!’
Aeris: Like so many bloodthirsty cheerleaders.
Glowing eyes red, smirking with terror,
He went to Edge, to cause more fun
To kill more kids, and drink their blood
Vincent: Whee!
As he killed more, people rose to fight!
Useless as it was, he killed them all on sight
He took fun with the slaughter,
Making his fun with the empty-light
Cloud: Doing what with the what now?
To Tifa’s house he went now, full of laughter.
And entered he did, looking at them all
AVALANCHE was sleeping,
Cid: All snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
All (stare at Cid)
Cid: Yes, I’ve read a goddamn poem.
Without a care, as Vincent stood tall
He lifted his gun, and aimed precise.
And bang it went!
Red XIII: As guns usually do.
Blood all over this place
They died that day, and he disappeared without a trace
Each member was dead, within their beds.
Cloud: The next day, after Phoenix Downs had been administered, Tifa demanded to know why the hell Vincent shot up her bar.
Vincent: I’d heard the phrase ‘crimson Mako orbs’ just once too often.
Vincent had done terror,
Cid: And she was a hell of a lay.
Like Hojo had intended
The nightmare began and ended
All: Yay!
But this is not the stories finish.
All: Aw.
Valentine had woken from the insanity
And realized what he done
Tears in his eyes
He knew the demons had won
With sobs and cries he picked up his gun
Vincent: I do not cry. Ever.
Tifa: He just…broods more.
Put it to his head
And pulled the trigger
A bang rang out!
Yuffie: Ding ding ding!
Then, in the end, Vincent was no more
Cid: But I heard him exclaim, ere he gunned himself down, ‘That does it for Edge, next stop is your town!’
To this day they remember the night of terror
And look at the graves
All of them say “Planet weeps for you, ‘naves.”
Sephiroth: Naves? Like the center of a church?
Red XIII: Maybe it’s supposed to be ‘knaves.’ Although that doesn’t make particularly more sense.
Yet here is the last part
All: Yay!
A lesson to be learned
All: Aw.
Lock up demon-hoarding men
Before they kill you all in your warm beds!
Aeris: That’s the moral of the story?
Tifa: …Thanks for the tip? I guess…
Fin.
Fade back to Vincent in his library, doing his best John Belushi imitation with the bottle of scotch up-ended as a very disoriented raven tries to land on Vincent’s shoulder, fails miserably, and nose-dives to the ground.
We tactfully fade to black.
This was a nice night of all nights,
Red XIII: It was the best of nights, it was the worst of nights.
It was a night that was to be remembered,
With the killing and slaying of those that he loved,
Yuffie: (singing) The night Santa went crazy, the night Kris Kringle went nuts, Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole, without stepping in reindeer guts…
Vincent was just a terror.
He danced and he sang as he took lives away,
Barrett: Carnage! The Musical.
Fires from the gun and bodies on the floor,
What a night this was, nothing but gore
As he pranced along, going on for more.
Sephiroth: It’s as if it were written by the misbegotten spawn of Dr. Seuss and Tim Burton.
Valentine went on his rampage of blood
A grin on his lips, a smile of love,
As he entered a house where people were sleeping
And cut off their heads, one, two, and three!
Vincent: Von! Two! Three decapitated bodies, ah-ah-ah-ah!
Barrett: Now that is just fuckin’ disturbing.
He traveled around, walking on foot
Killing by kicking, with shiny golden boots
Yuffie: I knew those things were dangerous.
There was nothing but joy as blood flooded the streets
Everyone around, saw what they would meet.
As it continued, this marvelous game
Vincent felt nothing, not even a drop of shame
The slaughters continued all through the night
Chaos and demons chanting ‘fight fight!’
Aeris: Like so many bloodthirsty cheerleaders.
Glowing eyes red, smirking with terror,
He went to Edge, to cause more fun
To kill more kids, and drink their blood
Vincent: Whee!
As he killed more, people rose to fight!
Useless as it was, he killed them all on sight
He took fun with the slaughter,
Making his fun with the empty-light
Cloud: Doing what with the what now?
To Tifa’s house he went now, full of laughter.
And entered he did, looking at them all
AVALANCHE was sleeping,
Cid: All snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
All (stare at Cid)
Cid: Yes, I’ve read a goddamn poem.
Without a care, as Vincent stood tall
He lifted his gun, and aimed precise.
And bang it went!
Red XIII: As guns usually do.
Blood all over this place
They died that day, and he disappeared without a trace
Each member was dead, within their beds.
Cloud: The next day, after Phoenix Downs had been administered, Tifa demanded to know why the hell Vincent shot up her bar.
Vincent: I’d heard the phrase ‘crimson Mako orbs’ just once too often.
Vincent had done terror,
Cid: And she was a hell of a lay.
Like Hojo had intended
The nightmare began and ended
All: Yay!
But this is not the stories finish.
All: Aw.
Valentine had woken from the insanity
And realized what he done
Tears in his eyes
He knew the demons had won
With sobs and cries he picked up his gun
Vincent: I do not cry. Ever.
Tifa: He just…broods more.
Put it to his head
And pulled the trigger
A bang rang out!
Yuffie: Ding ding ding!
Then, in the end, Vincent was no more
Cid: But I heard him exclaim, ere he gunned himself down, ‘That does it for Edge, next stop is your town!’
To this day they remember the night of terror
And look at the graves
All of them say “Planet weeps for you, ‘naves.”
Sephiroth: Naves? Like the center of a church?
Red XIII: Maybe it’s supposed to be ‘knaves.’ Although that doesn’t make particularly more sense.
Yet here is the last part
All: Yay!
A lesson to be learned
All: Aw.
Lock up demon-hoarding men
Before they kill you all in your warm beds!
Aeris: That’s the moral of the story?
Tifa: …Thanks for the tip? I guess…
Fin.
Fade back to Vincent in his library, doing his best John Belushi imitation with the bottle of scotch up-ended as a very disoriented raven tries to land on Vincent’s shoulder, fails miserably, and nose-dives to the ground.
We tactfully fade to black.