ShinRa's Shake Up

Reno blinked as his mind drifted back to the present. He stood slowly, his spine popping slightly. Reno paced around the large hospital room, stretching out sore and cramped muscles and getting the blood flowing through his limbs. The doctor hadn’t come on for his usual morning “pep talk” he but Reno wasn’t going to complain any about it. Standing by the window as the sun slowly started to rise over the broken city, Reno stretched, his spine popping loudly with the movement. He glanced around him and shook his head, making a mental note, for about the hundredth time, to remember to clean up a little… Empty fast good and take out boxes had gathered into a rather impressive pile on the floor by the window since he had last tackled the clutter. Random shirts and pants hung over the chairs and had accumulated into piles on the floor.



The red headed Turk had changed a lot the past year. More than just being a lot thinner and more unkempt than he had ever dared when Rufus was still in charge, Reno had resorted to a one track mind- Rufus. Personal upkeep meant little to him, eating and sleeping had even taken a back seat to him lately. He had not worn his Turk suit in over six months. His wardrobe lately consisted of whatever random shirt he pulled out of the clutter that wasn’t overly pungent and dirty. Elena would take some of his clothes now and then, wash them, and bring them back to him- it wasn’t that Reno wasn’t grateful, he was, he just couldn’t… he couldn’t function anymore without him. His thoughts were racing around in his head as he stood there in the room that was eerily silent other than the constant drum of the medical machines.



As Reno stood barefoot, his toes wiggling slightly in the carpet, he looked around trying to find his shoes. One was half way under Rufus’ bed, the only clutter that was within a ten foot radius of the bed, the other shoe had somehow ended up half way across the room, being kept company by his EMR. Reno shook his head as he picked up a shirt from the back of one of the chairs and sniffed at it. The smell made him choke and he felt his eyes water slightly as he coughed and turned back to the window, dropping the shirt to the floor and forgetting about it just as quickly.



He smiled sadly as he saw Elena and Rude enter the hospital a few floors below him. They wouldn’t be staying for long, they never did. Elena couldn’t bear to see Rufus like he was and it was unnerving even to Rude how far Reno had fallen health wise. It wasn’t very far off to say that if they weren’t careful, Reno might be the next one confined to a hospital bed after passing out from sheer exhaustion. Sighing softly, Reno leaned against the wall as he gazed out across the city and then turned and sat down in the chair by the bed, his back to the door as he looked at the still lifeless form lying on the bed.



“Really wish you would wake up Rufus… that way I wouldn’t have to deal with Elena and Rude on my own. You were always so much better at that stuff than I was…”



“Now Reno, are we really that hard to get along with?”



Elena stood in the doorway smiling sadly at the red head. Rude walked in behind her, in a rare move removing his dark sunglasses, his piercing grey eyes looking right into Reno’s.





“Oh Elena, Rude… pleasant surprise” Reo said, trying not to sound forced in his statement.



“Don’t lie,” Rude said simply as he stood beside the bed.



“You never were very good at lying, Reno… your eyes always gave you away.”

Elena spoke gently as she moved the clutter of clothes from the chair and sat down.



Reno nodded silently as he stood between the bed and the window, the soft sunbeams filtering through the window and falling across the room and onto the bed. The soft golden glow of the early morning sun made Rufus look less pale… almost alive… Reno sighed softly.



“Any change?” Elena asked, trying to sound hopeful.



“No. Maybe tomorrow…” Reno said as he turned back to the window and looked out across the city that was slowly starting to wake up. That was his answer anytime anyone asked him that.



“Maybe,” Rude said simply as he tugged at the gloves on his hands, silencing filling the room. They never did talk much, there wasn’t much to talk about anymore… the Turks had all but disbanded, each one finding their own way and their own lives now. Midgar was still in the slow process of rebuilding. AVALANCHE was still at large… life was still a mess… and none of if matter anymore, none of it really made a difference anyways.



“Reno?” Elena asked as she looked over at the red head. Her voice was uneasy and she looked like she was about to cry. “Reno, we saw the doctor in the hallway on our way up...”



“Oh?” Reno asked, not moving and not looking away from the window. “And what did the bastard want this time?”



“He.. he gave us an update, since it’s been a few days since we have been by. He… He said that there is nothing else we can do… for Rufus… that it is time to admit to everyone, all of us, that we’ve lost him.”



“They have been saying that for the last six month, Elena,” Reno said, his voice irritated and tight as he turned and faced his fellow Turk.



A baggy, now too big, white button up shirt hung on Reno’s small frame, unbuttoned and stained. Faded jeans and a tight belt to hold them up was the only other thing Reno was wearing. His hair, having gone mostly uncut for a year was now down past his shoulders, the ponytail having long been cut. His trade mark goggles were lost somewhere in the piles of clutter. It was indeed true that the man standing in front of them was not the one they knew a year ago- he had changed.



“Yes they have been saying that for a while now,” Rude said solemnly.



“But…” Elena whispered softly.



“But what?” Reno narrowed his eyes at her.



“But now they say it is time to stop this Reno. You have to admit, to yourself, that Rufus is not coming back. Its been a year Reno, a year of waiting, of killing yourself… and nothings changed. He’s not coming back Reno; there’s nothing anyone can do – not you, not us, not the doctors, and not even Rufus himself evidently. Reno, it’s time to let go.”



“So what, are you going to just give up on him? What are you going to do Elena, Rude? Are you going to pull the plug on Rufus? Are you going to just give up, walk away, and let him die?” Reno’s voice was tight and loud as he fought back the wave of emotions crashing against him, threatening to knock him off his feet. He had often had that thought pass through his mind and it made him sick, his knees shaking and he pushed them from his mind each time. And now he was hearing it again, only this time, he could not stop it by pushing it out of his mind, for it was not his voice he was hearing in his ears. He stared at his fellow Turks, eyes shifting back and forth between Rude and Elena in sheer disbelief as the realization hit him.



“My god, you are! You are seriously going to pull the plug and kill him? I can’t fucking believe you- either of you!”



“Reno… please, calm down…” Elena said as she stood ad walked over to the red head. She reached out a hand slowly and laid it on his shoulder. Reno pulled away, jerking his arm back and gave her a look of total disgust and loathing as he slapped her hand away.



“I can’t believe you Elena... you either Rude!” How could you!? This is Rufus we are talking about here! Rufus!”



Reno stood by the window, glaring at them, his chest heaving and has clenched into tight fists. His legs were shaking and his head was spinning. He felt sick.



“I won’t give up hope! I won’t leave him! I won’t let you do this!”



“Reno..”



“Shut up Rude! I cant believe what I am hearing!”



Reno turned his back to them, hands on the window sill as he struggled to keep himself steady, his breath catching in his throat.



“Get out,” He said through clenched teeth.



“Reno… I…” Elena started softly.



“Get out!” he yelled, slamming his fist down on the window sill, his body shaking.

He heard them leave, the familiar sound of Rude unfolding the sunglasses and the soft tap of Elena’s light shoes. He heard Elena whisper a soft “I’m sorry” as they left. It wasn’t until the door closed behind them that Reno let himself go.



Tears ran down his cheeks, splashing onto the window sill, forming small puddles. His shoulders shook with each ragged breath as his knees finally gave out. Sinking to the floor, he leaned against the wall as he cried, unable and unwilling- at least for the moment- to move.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It had been a week- a week of fighting off doctors and refusing to leave Rufus' side. Things were getting bretty intese- Reno had actually taken a swing at the doctor the day before and had to be restrained by Rude. Despite how thin and weak he was he still put up quite the fight. He had basically collapsed in Rude's arms, and his partner knew enough not to move him from Rufus' side, so he and Elena had stayed there taking care of him. The next day they were gone when he woke... he felt bad but he was glad, he didnt want to have to face them just yet.



The red head slowly sat up and stretched, his stiff neck and back protesting the movement. Running hands through his messy unwashed hair he groaned. He was more than past due for a shower, figuring it had been close to a week since his last encounter with the shower. The light was dim in the room due to the blinds that were pulled tight, blocking out the noonday sun, and Reno noticed a small silver of light that cut through the dimness and fell across Rufus’ face. Reno stared at him a moment, the light cutting a swatch across the handsome features, falling across the one eye that remained bandaged. How we wished he would be able to see those brilliant blue eyes looking up at him again… he knew he would never forget what those eyes looked liked, but it was getting harder and harder to see them clearly. Sighing softly Reno leaned over, his elbows resting on the edge of the bed.



“It’s been a year Rufus… a damn year. It’s high time for you to wake up. You hear me Rufus? It’s damn time for you to wake up and stop doing this to us.”



Without realizing it, Reno ’s hand reached out, gently lying over the cool still hand that lay on the bed. Gently, Reno lifted the hand and kissed it softly, that familiar sting burning behind his eyes. He stared down at the man lying in the bed, everything else fading away.



“ Reno ...”



The soft gentle voice of Elena reached his ears, yet he made no sign of having heard her. He didn’t care who saw, or who knew. It was no secret how he felt for Rufus or how the most powerful and richest man in the world felt towards him. It had been several years common knowledge among the Turks and the two went to careful lengths to separate work from their personal lives, yet it was well known just how close the two were.



“ Reno … you can’t keep on like this…”



“I’m not leaving, Elena. You’re just wasting your time.”



“I know how you feel Reno … I know it’s hard. It hasn’t been easy for any of us to deal with, but this is how it is. “



Reno just stared down at the hand that was held in his, his eyes wide and unblinking as he looked up at Rufus’ face. Elena stepped closer and put a hand on her partner’s shoulder.



“ Reno ?”



“Elena… he… he just squeezed my hand…”



“ Reno , are you sure?” she asked softly, her voice saddened. “Are you sure you just aren’t imagining what you want to happen?”



“I felt it damn it! Rufus is awake! He can hear us, I know it!”



Elena looked at the still form then to the red head that looked up at her with eyes so bright and hopeful. She sighed softly as she turned and headed fort he door.



“Stay with him. I’ll go find the doctor.”



Reno nodded, barely hearing her as he slipped his knees beside the bed, gripping the hand a little harder as he studied Rufus’ face closely.



“Come on Rufus, you can do it… fight it. Fight it!”



Whether it was a few seconds or an hour, Reno didn’t know, but the door opened and Elena walked in, followed by the doctor as well as Rude and Tseng who had just arrived a few moments ago.



Elena looked at their fellow Turk and her heart broke. He was so thin. Reno had always been on the slightly scrawny side but he was dangerously thin right now- it had taken a firm lecture from one of the nurses to get him to start eating a little more. He had been wearing the same shirt for three days and hadn’t bathed in twice that long. Dark circles were under his eyes and his hair stuck up wild and disheveled. She remembered well the warning the doctor had given all of them regarding Reno several weeks ago- that he was in as much danger as Rufus was, that the chances of Reno dying from the shock or loss of Rufus was just as great as Rufus dying from his injuries. Those thoughts passed through her mind once more as she looked at the red head clinging to the hand of the man he respected, admired, and loved.



Rude and Tseng stood near the foot of the bed, silent, watchful, and still. Elena stood beside Reno , a hand resting gently on his shoulder as he knelt beside the bed still. The doctor made his way to the other side, scanning the printouts and checking the various monitors, his brow knitted together in concentration.



“I told you,” Reno said firmly. “I told you he would wake up.”

Rude just glanced at the doctor without a word, waiting for him to speak and let them know what was really going on. He had worked with the red head for many years and knew that at times Reno could jump to conclusions and as desperate as he was getting he could have very well created in his mind the event he wanted to have happen more than anything.



The seconds ticked by painfully slow as all four pairs of eyes were fixed on the doctor. Slowly he looked up from the ream of paper that he had been scanning and looked at them all, his eyes finally resting on Reno .



“It seems that there is a change. I can’t say for sure yet what it is, or what exactly it means for where we are now. But it is safe to say that there is a change… we just have to wait now and see what happens.”

“He’s going to wake up,” Reno said simply.



“He may, but he may not, Reno ,” Tseng said, an uncharacteristic softness to his voice. “You have to prepare yourself for the worse.”



“I know he’s going to wake up… you’ll see. Rufus is going to wake up.”



Elena looked over at Tseng who just shrugged his shoulders slightly. Rude simply tugged at the gloves on his hands, his glasses having already been removed and slipped into his shirt pocket.



“I need to review some of these print outs. I will let you know as soon as I find out anything else. I promise Reno ” the doctor said as he gathered up the papers and left the room.



Rude, Elena, and Tseng stayed in the room for a while, Rude taking his place beside the window, his large frame blocking most of the dim light that filtered through. Tseng sat in the chair by the foot of the bed while Elena sat down in the chair Reno had been sitting in. The red head still knelt on the floor, the hand firmly in his grasp as he watched the face closely, waiting for those bright blue eyes to open.



The minutes turned to hours and the hours passed slowly. Elena started to doze off in the chair; Rude leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest as his head dropped to his chest, and Tseng remained still and silent at the foot of the bed. Reno ’s head lay against the bed as his eyes were finally closing in sleep as he was talking to Rufus, trying to draw him out of the darkness that held him.



Somewhere in the darkness he heard a voice. It sounded familiar, though… he couldn’t exactly place who it was or where he knew it from. All he knew was it was familiar and annoying. He wanted to tell the person who owned that voice to shut up and let him sleep. That was all he wanted to do, sleep… sleep and never wake up... and he would have been able to do it if it wasn’t for that damned annoying voice. It grated on his nerves, making him twitch. It forced him to wake up and he became aware of things he hadn’t been before- like the steady hum and beep from some unseen source. He felt aches and pain in his arms and legs though he was unable to move them. He could, however, move his hands and when he did he could feel something there- something warm and firm that covered his hand. But always that voice… just when it fell silent and he started to get comfortable it would start up again, just when he would start to drift back into the welcoming darkness that voice would wake him up again, driving all possibility of sleep from him. Even now he heard the voice, soft and faint but he heard it none the less.



Slowly the hand tightened around his, causing Reno to stir slightly in his sleep. Reno lifted his head slightly and looked at Rufus, knowing now for certain he wasn’t imagining things.



“Hey boss” he said softly. “Feel like joining us finally and waking up?”



The head which had remained motionless for so long started to turn, the mouth parting slightly. A faint whisper of a voice was barely heard over the noise of the machines. To Reno , however, it might as well have been an ear piercing scream he heard it so clearly.



“Just… shut… up..”



Reno’s head shot up off the bed as he sat straight up.



“Rufus!” he cried out, jolting Tseng, Rude, and Elena from their dazed slumbers.



All eyes were on the form in the bed as they crowded around. Reno watched closely as he saw the brilliant blue sparkle from under fluttering lashes as the eyes opened slowly. Blinking slightly, face reflecting confusion and annoyance Rufus looked up at Reno and closed his eyes, hand lifting to his face weakly.



“Don’t you ever… shut up Reno ?” he said with a sigh.



Reno felt tears form in his eyes, his face breaking into a wide grin.



“You know me boss… I never shut up.”