On Silver Wings

CHAPTER 1

When he opened his eyes, he knew he was in trouble. His knees felt weak, his head ached and he found he could hardly focus. The world swam in and out of darkness and he thought he could hear footsteps, heavy ones, moving towards him. His heart felt like it would hammer out of his chest; he couldn’t control his ragged breathing. He pulled himself up on his hands and knees and tried to crawl away, away from the footsteps and the noise in his head, a buzzing like a thousand angry bees.

Something sharp suddenly jabbed into his shoulder. He had time to inhale and start to scream as the blade slowly sank into his flesh. He felt it slide and slice against his muscles, felt its point scratch at his shoulder-blade. When the scream died off he found he couldn’t take another breath; his chest felt constricted and tight. He knew he was panicking but somehow there was nothing he could do to control the rising tide of fear. He knew that blade; had felt its contours a hundred times over, had studied its shape in the light, noting every nick and scratch on its surface. He’d seen it ring and sing in the artificial light of the practice hall at ShinRa HQ and had wished, so many times, to be allowed a closer look. Now there was nothing he could do to get away from it.

He felt himself being pulled to the side, the blade removed to allow him to fall flat on his back. He felt the dirty water of the destroyed ShinRa building courtyard seep into his shirt, mingling with the blood that was now pooling under him. He closed his eyes. Nothing in the world could’ve persuaded him to open them again. This… was a nightmare; it couldn’t be really happening.

He felt, more than heard, a presence moving above him, towering, powerful and huge. He shivered.

“Pathetic weakling. Open your eyes!”

Thunderous, that voice. It seemed to reach into Cloud’s mind and boom and echo around his skull.

Don’t show weakness, don’t show fear.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t let his body obey that voice. If he opened his eyes, he knew it would only get worse.

There was a sort of mocking exhaled laugh above him and he felt himself being pulled up by his shirt. His shoulder felt like it was on fire, and in danger of ripping open completely. He was losing control, as he felt a single tear escape his grasp and slide down his cheek.

He almost heard the man sneer at him, felt his contempt and disgust at his weakness. Sobs threatened to rack his body. He was falling apart.

The hand that was holding him up tightened its hold on his shirt. He heard, almost too late, the sound of the Masamune as it sliced through the air again and choked back a gurgling scream as the blade slid into his thigh. And then he made a mistake.

He opened his eyes as he screamed.

There was a smile there, cruel and taunting, and green filled his vision, blurred it. He lost the contours of the ShinRa building behind the man. The courtyard dissipated from his sight. He realized he was crying openly now. He knew he should be stronger than this, that he had faced the man before in more dire situations than this and managed to keep his cool. Somehow he couldn’t summon the strength to fight back, couldn’t do much except hang limply in the man’s grip and cry.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so pathetic and helpless. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t move. He couldn’t… This couldn’t be real.

His eyes shot open when it hit him. This was a dream. This wasn’t real. He could almost feel himself relax.

And then Sephiroth smiled.

And that’s when the nightmare began.

***

Cloud felt his body spring to life as he woke up screaming, echoes of his hoarse cry dying away in the darkness of his apartment. His heart was hammering in his chest fast enough to scare him, he was raggedly out of breath and his head throbbed.

Looking around the darkened room, he sighed. It would take him the rest of the night to calm himself down to a point where he would feel human enough to head outside among people.

As his heartbeat slowed to a more normal pace, his mind started going around in circles about the project they’d started with Reeve’s help and Hojo’s old files.

After one of the dreams, he always second-guessed their decision. When Zack was around they would talk about it, discuss how slim the chances were of a repeat incident now that Jenova was well and truly dead, the rest of her cells burned and buried under the new ShinRa monument in Old Midgar. Zack would reassure him that they’d made the right choice.

As it was, he did the next best thing. Sneaking a glance at his bedside clock and feeling slightly guilty about it, he called Reeve, the only other person who knew about the project outside of the ShinRa science team.

He needed to be reassured, badly.

If all went according to plan and the technogeeks didn’t mess anything up, he had only a little over two weeks to change his mind.

And two weeks to tell the rest of Avalanche.

***

“Aren’t you cutting the timing a little close there?”

Cloud sighed. He was already feeling better, but not by much. Hearing Reeve’s familiar voice, even over the phone, was helping.

“I know it looks like I’m putting it off.” And I am, he thought. Not about to admit to it, though. “I’m waiting for the right time. The last thing I want is to have a fight on my hands. I know Vince and Red are probably going to react well… It’s the others I’m worried about.”

It was Reeve’s turn to sigh. He’d promised to keep mum about the whole thing until Cloud was ready. “Look, I’ve already got a team diverting power into emergency batteries for the surge we’re expecting when he… when we wake him up. I can’t explain this away forever. You have to tell them, Cloud.”

“I know. It’s just… hard, okay?” He winced. It sounded weak even to his ears.

“You want me to call Vincent up for you? Maybe if you talk to him first, it’ll be easier.”

“I… Yeah, I think that would help. Thanks Reeve.”

“No problem,” he said, before hanging up.

Ultimately, it didn’t help much.

***

“Listen, Reeve, I’m not angry at you, I’m just starting to feel weird about this. I mean, what are we all waiting here for? I’ve been here for hours and Vince was sitting there when I got here. I just want to know what’s going on.”

Reeve sighed, looked down at the floor again. Tifa raised an eyebrow at him; he just wouldn’t meet her eyes. Something else weird; Reeve was never the shy type. Behind her, she heard Yuffie popping her gum. Barret was mostly silent, probably wishing he were somewhere else. Cid was… snoring, of all things. She sighed, wished she could be as relaxed. She knew this had something to do with Cloud’s recent mood. Whatever this meeting was about, Cloud had waited for Zack to come back before he’d called all of them up to meet in Reeve’s new offices in Edge. That alone was enough to make her nervous.

Vincent was sitting in the only armchair in the room, apart from the others and away from the central mahogany table where everyone else was seated. She’d asked him why Nanaki hadn’t been called in and hadn’t received an answer. Now, she was starting to get annoyed. She leaned over the table, set her knuckles down on it and stared at Reeve, who swallowed nervously.

“Look, I know you know what this is about. Tell me!”

“It’s not his to tell, Tif.”

She turned around abruptly. Behind her, Zack was a grinning presence in the doorway, nearly obscuring a very apprehensive looking Cloud. The voice had been Zack’s, but Tifa’s gaze went to Cloud’s eyes in search of an explanation. She received none. In fact, she barely got a glance as Cloud went around all of them to take his seat at the front of the table, the place she thought Reeve would take.

It was a while before he spoke. Tifa had time to note that he sat rather stiffly in the high-backed leather office chair which she usually associated with suits and Neo-ShinRa executives. She had time to notice that he wouldn’t meet her eyes, despite the fact that his own brightly-glowing eyes went around the room twice, looking at each of them in turn. She saw Zack, standing next and slightly behind Cloud, looking decidedly protective. In short, she had time to get extremely worried.

When it came, nothing in the world could have prepared her for the shock he gave her.

***

Cloud sighed. He reached a hand through his hair slowly, his blue eyes going around the room to stare briefly at each person seated at the executive table. Every one of them had a right to know what they were planning; they were all of them entitled to an explanation, and he felt bad for putting it off until the last minute. Ultimately though, the decision had already been made for them. Reason number two for his feelings of guilt.

He felt himself wince slightly. This conversation would suck.

He decided he might as well get the worst of it out there first. Trying his hardest not to even glance at Tifa, he learned forward in his chair, took a deep breath and mentally shook himself, vaguely aware of Zack’s reassuring presence behind him.

It killed his ego to hear himself sigh deeply, with more than a hint of trembling nervousness, before starting.

“I’m not going to beat about the bush here. You were all called in here at short notice and I’m sure you all want to get back to your lives. I just thought I owed you guys some kind of explanation. In case you’re wondering why Nanaki isn’t here, he already knows.”

In her spot at his right, Tifa started fidgeting nervously. He sent a small smile her way, trying to indicate that everything was all right. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. He felt her tense up all the way across the table.

Fuck. Great going there, Mr. Charisma.

He would have to hurry it up, or he would lose his nerve. Backing off was no longer an option now. Even Cid was staring at him intently. He felt the wall rise up inside of him, that cold detachment he’d worn like a mask through the Meteor incident and afterwards, and which had only just recently starting cracking with Zack’s encouragement. It brought it’s own strength with it, although he knew it would leave him weak and exhausted afterwards. He went with it. It would be easier this way.

***

Tifa snuck a glance at Barrett to see if he’d noticed the change. Cloud’s eyes had just dulled, his whole posture going rigid and stiff. She hadn’t seen him smile like that, in that sad, half-felt way of his, for months.

Barrett sent a worried look her way, then started visibly as Cloud’s voice rang out once more.

It sounded dead now, emotionless and cold. She shuddered, closing her eyes.

“After the Geostigma incident, Reeve put together a team of ex-ShinRa scientists to try and dispose of whatever Jenova cells might still be left out there. They figured they could dig in some of Hojo’s reports to try and find a way of permanently destroying the sentient awareness of her cells in humans, so we could dispose of her remains safely, and keep her out of our way, hopefully forever.

“They found their method amidst all of Hojo’s jumbled notes. They also found all his files on his Soldier research and additional reports concerning his experiments on Cetra specimens.”

He paused shortly, closing his eyes. “That’s Aerith and her mom.”

Tifa blinked at him. So he’d found information about what they’d gone through in Hojo’s lab. Was this what this was all about? She’d discussed it with Yuffie before, but they hadn’t had time to call in the Turks. Reeve had given them the brush off, explaining that Cloud would be the one to answer her questions soon. She snuck a glance at Yuffie, who shared a look of understanding with her. Now she wished she’s pushed Reeve a little more.

There was a muffled exclamation from Cid, who reached to remove the dog-end from the corner of his mouth.

“Afterwards, Cid, you can ask as many questions as you like. Just let me finish, please.”

Cid puffed his breath out, swallowing a curse. “Damn, Spike. Just hurry it up, would you? You look like hell, man.”

Behind the blond, Zack’s arm snaked out and came to rest on his friend’s shoulder. Tifa saw him squeeze briefly, Cloud’s eyes closing. Something passed between the two of them which seemed to fortify Cloud somewhat. She couldn’t help but stiffle a short burst of envy; Zack obviously knew what was going on. He had been, was, and probably always would be, the one Cloud would turn to first for help and comfort. She frowned.

“The team found references to Hojo’s private lab, as well as precise instructions regarding a device he’d built with Gast years before.”

There was a pause. Tifa saw Zack tense slightly behind Cloud, which prompted him to continue. His voice never wavered once.

“We found the lab. The device can be used to recreate genetic matter from cellular samples.

“We’re bringing Sephiroth back.”