When Tifa's Away

Disclaimer: yadda yadda yadda, I don't own, blah blah blah.

Warning: anal, crossdressing, alcohol.

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Cloud stood staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, fidgeting slightly as he adjusted the hem of the short skirt he wore so that it covered a little more. He had to admit, he didn't look half bad. The outfit he had chosen was a classic catholic themed outfit with a red pleated skirt, white stockings, and white shirt that he ad tied to show off his midriff. With his blond hair it gave him a very naughty look. This was also why he was stuck in the bathroom.

"Chocobo head," Reno's voice called from the other side of the door, "You coming out or what?"

"I want that tape Reno," Cloud made sure to force a biting edge to his voice, "And if there is a camera anywhere in that room when I come out, I swear to Gaia that you will pay."

"Hold on a minute..." The sound of quick movements and a door opening and slamming shut was heard. "Okay, you can come out now."

Taking a deep breath the blond took hold of the doorknob. "I can't do this," he groaned.

"Oh come on Cloud," Reno whined, "I wanna see. Or the internet will see you dance."

"...bitch..."

"You know it, now come on out."

The door creaked open and Cloud stuck his head out slightly. "I'm not so sure about this," he muttered.

Sighing, the redhead turned to give the blond an exasperated look. "It cannot be that bad Chocobo. Come on, let me see."

"Fine..." Cloud mumbled before stepping out of the bathroom into Reno's bedroom.

"Sweet Gaia..." Reno murmured, "You are never allowed to wear men's clothing again."

"I'll take that as a compliment," the blond said as he looked down at himself, "But I don't know if I can do this. It just feels too weird."

"Well why don't I give you something to loosen you up a bit?" Cloud watched wearily as Reno crossed the room and opened a cabinet next to his dresser. The Turk blocked the blonde's view with his body as he bent over and rummaged through it. Cloud watched him, his nerves starting to get the best of him and was fidgeting with the hem of his skirt again when Reno straightened uip. "Oh now isn't that just a sight," the redhead purred, "My little school girl is all nervous."

"Call me that again and I'll leave," Cloud growled.

"No you won't," Reno smirked, "I've got the tape."

"Asshole."

"You love me, admit it," the redhead said as he made his way over to the blond, holding up two bottles of vodka, "Let's have a drink."

"Okay," Cloud muttered. Half an hour later Cloud had drank half his bottle while Reno had polished off his own bottle and the rest of the blonde's.

"You are so fucking hot yo," Reno practically purred as he wrapped an arm around Cloud.

"Why thank you," the blond giggled, nuzzling the redhead's neck slightly. He let out a very uncharacteristic squeak when he was suddenly lifted and tossed on the bed. "What the hell Reno?"

"Are you a good girl or a bad girl?" the redhead smirked.

"I'm not the girl here," Cloud glared pointedly.

"Didn't answer the question," Reno said in a sing song voice.

"I'm bad, so very bad. Now what you gonna do about that?"

The redhead smiled drunkenly and climbed onto the bed over the blond. A very feminine giggle left the Turk as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a multicolored packet. "I'm hungry," the redhead purred, "And I need a big...thick...long...beef...stick to satisfy me."

"Um...okay...I'll go get one from the kitchen," Cloud said uncertainly.

"No blondie," Reno giggled, "The one in your pants...skirt."

"Oh...OH! Well...let's do this."

"Wow, sexy," the redhead rolled his eyes.

Before Cloud could (1) respond, Reno had crushed their lips together. Groaning softly, the blond tangled his hands in Reno's hair, pulling him closer. He jerked slightly at the feel of his skirt being pushed up, breaking the kiss in the process. "That feels so weird," the blond muttered.

"Relax yo," Reno purred, "Nothing out of the ordinary other than the outfit."

"Then give me that thing," Cloud grumbled. (2)

The redhead smiled widely before slowly shaking his head from side to side. "Allow me," he whispered. Cloud shuddered slightly as Reno's hand slid smoothly up his leg and under the skirt once again. A groan escaped his lips when slim hands cupped him, but the blond couldn't help but scowl when Reno grinned. "Panties? You really didn't pull out any stops."

"Do you want this to happen or not?"

"I'll be good yo," Reno said quickly.

Cloud was about to respond when he felt the hand that had been lightly cupping him squeeze, effectively derailing his train of thought. Biting his lip to stifle the sounds threatening to bubble forth, Cloud arched into the redhead's hand. he felt himself stiffen under Reno's ministrations and tasted blood when he bit down even harder to keep himself from whimpering. A soft gasp escaped him when Reno's lips covered his own, lapping up the blood.

"Don't hold back yo," the redhead murmured, "I want to hear you."

"Re-Reno," Cloud gasped as the other's hand slipped beneath the lace underwear, "Oh Gaia."

"That's right," Reno purred, "Tell me how it feels."

"Shut up or it's not going to feel like much," Cloud snapped.

"Touchy touchy," the redhead laughed slightly, "I thought you liked it when I was all vocal."

"There's a difference between-ah-between you making fun o-sweet Shiva-of me and...I forgot what we were fighting about..."

"That's because I'm one hot." Reno licked Cloud's neck drawing a pitiful whimper out of the blond, "Sexy." The redhead bit into the blonde's neck. "Bad ass Tu-holy shit!"

Cloud had flipped their positions so that he was straddling the redhead and had begun to attack Reno's shirt, practically ripping it away in his haste. "You need to be naked," he muttered as he started on the Turk's pants.

"Yes I do," Reno smiled as he helped the blond rid him of his clothes.

As soon as Reno was stripped of his clothing Cloud leaned down, taking the head of the Turk's erection in his mouth. A long drawn out moan met his actions and the blond smiled slightly as he tongued the slit firmly, the salty taste of precum filling his senses. Reno's eyes rolled back in his head as he fisted blond spikes. His grip tightened considerably as Cloud moved his head down taking the rest of Reno's length into his mouth. The blond kept his lips tight as he slid downward, firmly pressing his tongue against the underside of the length in his mouth. While there weren't many things that Hojo had done that Cloud was thankful for, there was something to be said about losing his gag reflex. It made riding in cars a lot easier, as well as the nice side effect of being able to take Reno in to the hilt. The loud groan that met his actions was unbelievably satisfying.

"Damn Strife," Reno said shakily, "How the fuck do you do that?"

In response Cloud hummed and drew his head upwards, causing the redhead below him to shudder and let out a whimper. Snickering at the noise, the blond bobbed his head back down, relaxing his throat once again to take Reno in entirely. As soon as his nose brushed against crimson pubic hair, the blond swallowed, allowing the constricting suction to massage the length in his mouth. Moving one hand up Reno's shuddering leg, Cloud cupped the redhead's sack, squeezing it lightly and drawing a shaky moan from the other man.

Feeling Reno tense slightly, Cloud withdrew his mouth and gripped the base of the redhead's erection. "Not...fair..." Reno groaned as the hand squeezed, preventing him from climaxing.

"Don't care," Cloud smirked.

The blond gasped when one of Reno's hands found it's way back up the skirt and he couldn't stop the whimper that escaped him when he was squeezed harshly. The hand removed itself and Cloud glared harshly. Reno gave him one of his crooked grins and pulled Cloud's panties away. Flipping them over so he was on top of the blond, Reno reached for the condom pack that had been discarded on the bed spread while Cloud grabbed the lube from the nightstand. The blond gasped loudly when he felt the warm heat of Reno's mouth moving down his length, stretching the condom over him in the process. Whimpering pathetically when Reno moved away, Cloud opened the tube in his hand and spread the slick liquid over his fingers. Sitting up, the blond drew Reno into a kiss, hooking his arm around the redhead's waist and brushing his finger against Reno's puckering entrance.

The redhead shuddered at the feel, pressing his body against the blond and shoved his tongue into Cloud's mouth. His entire body stiffened as a finger was pushed inside him before he sighed against Cloud's mouth. The blond began to rhythmically move his finger inside the redhead, stretching Reno's entrance and searching at the same time. A raged cry escaped the redhead as the Turk threw his head back and began to grind up against the blond. Smirking slightly, Cloud firmly rubbed the small knot of nerves within Reno as he added a second finger. The Turk groaned loudly and pushed his hips back against the intruding digits.

"You know," Reno gasped, "I've never been fucked by a guy in a school girl outfit before."

"There you go again," Cloud sighed, "Talking. I think I'll have to distract you a little better."

"And how are you going to d-holy fucking Shiva Infirit on a stick!" Reno screamed as three fingers pressed on his prostate and rubbed furiously.

"Holy fucking Shiva Infirit on a stick?" Cloud raised an eyebrow as he began to scissor his fingers to further stretch Reno's entrance.

"I...I...ngh...want you...now..." the Turk stammered.

Swallowing to regain control of himself, Cloud removed his fingers and reached for the tube of lubricant. Spreading the slick substance over his rubber encased dick before taking hold of the whimpering Turk's hips. Slowly he guided Reno down until he felt himself brushing against the redhead's entrance. Drawing Reno into another kiss, Cloud released one side of Reno's hips and gripped himself to make sure he was in position. Gently pushing himself upwards while simultaneously drawing Reno down, the blond felt himself breach the redhead and couldn't hold back the groan that bubbled forth as he was gripped tightly by Reno's heat. The redhead began to whine into the kiss, his hands tightening on Cloud's shoulders as he began to push himself down onto the blond. Breaking the kiss to take a shaky breath, Reno willed his body to relax and accept the intrusion. His eyes snapped open when he lost his balance and fell unceremoniously onto the blond, embedding Cloud deep within his body.

Cloud shuddered as he was taken in, his hands gripping the redhead's hips as he desperately fought the urge to move. He could feel Reno gasping against him as his passage spasmed and knew that the sudden sheathing had to be uncomfortable. It was only that knowledge that held Cloud back from thrusting, he wouldn't hurt Reno if he could help it. Concentrating on his breathing, Cloud rubbed the redhead's back and forced his own ass against the mattress.

"Cloud," Reno breathed as he placed a soft kiss against the blonde's neck. Drawing back to stare into Cloud's glowing sapphire eyes, the redhead rose up, smiling at the moan that the movement ripped from the blond.

"Re-Re-oh Gaia," Cloud groaned as his head dropped forward.

The redhead just grinned his lopsided grin and continued to move. Angling his hips slightly, Reno moaned loudly as the hard length within him brushed against his prostate. Running his hands against Cloud's chest, the redhead frowned when the white shirt kept him from feeling skin. Fumbling with the garment, the Turk managed to remove it without ripping any seams. Reno practically purred when he was able to feel skin against his palms. He let out a startled yelp when the blond spun them around so he was hovering on top of him.

"Clooooouuuudddd," Reno groaned as the blond began to thrust firmly into his body. A scream erupted from the redhead's lips when his prostate was struck. "Holy fucking shit of a mother fucking son of a bitch!" Reno screamed as he clawed at Cloud's back.

Cloud smirked slightly, panting as he desperately tried to keep control of himself. Reno's tight heat massaged his length as he moved in and out of the cursing, babbling redhead. Feeling heat coiling in his stomach, the blond reached between their bodies and gripped Reno's straining erection. The redhead began yelling wordlessly as he writhed beneath the blond, his nails scratching the delivery boy's back and leaving red lines in their wake. Cloud groaned and let his head drop down so he could bite and suck on the redhead's neck. Reno's nails dug in deep as he screamed, his body arching in release, splattering the blonde's chest with his seed. Cloud cursed as he allowed the Turk's spasming passage to draw his own release, his vision blurring as he allowed the pleasure to overwhelm his senses.

Panting heavily, the blond collapsed onto the redhead, his arms no longer capable of holding him up. Reno grunted as Cloud's weight hit him. "Yur eavy," he slurred.

"Sorry," Cloud mumbled as he rolled off the redhead. Lazily he reached down and pulled his condom off, dropping it in the bin that the pair had learned to keep at their bedside. Humming contentedly, the blond snuggled against the redhead.

"You stink," Reno said bluntly.

"Wow...I feel loved."

"Shower time!" Reno chirped, bouncing out of bed and wincing slightly before turning to grab Cloud's hand and pull him with him.

Cloud grinned as he followed the redhead, stripping off his skirt and socks as he went.

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"Come on," Cloud grinned, "It'll be fun."

Reno stared blankly, two more empty bottles of vodka beside him. "Leme...lemme tink abou' it, mkay?" the Turk slurred as he swayed slightly. "Wai..." he blinked slightly, "When did I ge' tis ting on?"

"About one bottle ago," the blond smirked, "Now come on, Tifa promised you a free drink, remember."

"Oh! Le's go ten!" the redhead smiled stupidly and stood only to topple over onto Cloud and giggle.

Cloud smiled slightly and lead the redhead out the door, checking to make sure the skirt covered Reno's ass before heading out into public.

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1. Cloud could, this amuses me like you wouldn't believe. It makes me giggle. I just had to share.

2. This is where I ran out of prewritten material. Grammar that is fucked up from this point on is no longer cared about but will be fixed if people point it out.