Pentimenti

unbeta'd

Why…why did I do that, kiss Sephiroth, was I crazy was my grief that strong as to addle my wits… I blamed it on his look, the beautiful green, green eyes, I saw something in them, the same as my own, Angeal was his friend first the sadness was stronger in him yet here I was blubbering like a baby.

His eyes had lowered, taking his eyes from me, why should he look down? There was no shame in being upset for a friend.  Maybe I am crazy  I think as I pull him by his bangs closer to me, my mouth touching his, firm and soft  I am surprised as he opens his lips under mine, why? Sephiroth was dominate I could tell that, the confidence in everything he did commanding in control, never letting anyone get the upper hand, I guess it is a defence mechanism and maybe he trusts me.

I’d like that, I’d be here for him as long as I can, the only link left to Angeal but that is not why I kiss him, I did it for the look of compassion sadness, loneliness in them,

 I slip my tongue into his mouth, touching his with the tip.

  he slides his tongue along mine the kiss deeper, more passionate.

I pull him closer my hands thrusting deep into his hair so beautiful the Silver, almost shining against my gloves.

He groans across my lips  pulling me closer into his arms, one of his hands thrust into my own hair and I moaned as gloved fingers slipped through the strands, my scalp had always been sensitive to touch, and even with gloves Sephiroths fingers made me shiver.

“Seph…” I whispered over his lips pulling back softly to trace my gloved fingers over his mouth. He takes my hand in his slowly peeling off the glove, I flushed I wasn’t sure why but Sephiroth rolling down my glove with that level of reverence and care, turned me on more than ever the kiss  its self.

My glove off I almost leaped out of my skin as he brought my hand to his lips kissing my palm, his tongue tip licking up my lifeline, I felt the shiver roll down my spine Like someone had walked on my grave, his lips and tongue moved down my hand to my wrist, teeth nipping at my pulse and I jumped, he pulls back from my wrist gently lacing our fingers together, such a romantic action that I flushed.

He pulls me closer so I am sitting on his lap, he lifts my face with his free hand, silently looking into my eyes, his hand moves over my face his thumb stroking under one eye and the other, I see the glisten of my tears before he licks them off his gloves.

 I groaned at the action grabbing him by his bangs again fingers sifting and clenching through his hair, I press our mouths together once again, the fingers from my captured hand close around his, my hips pushing down to rock gently against him.

 The hand that was touching my face moved around my back lowering almost to my waist, his hand flexed at my lower back making me arch into his body as he pulled me closer.

“Zack…” he whispers breaking our kiss, lowering his head to my neck breathing in; the exhale deep with pain.

Unlinking my fingers I wrapped my arms around him, just holding him, I didn’t want to ruin this moment by moving too fast

“Yes Seph?” I ask breaking the silence, my breath caught

“Are you sure about this, between us....grief makes us act how we normally would not”

His voice was the least confident that I had ever heard him, how could he not think that I wanted him? I was attracted from the first time I met him, that long hair and green eyes, how he carried himself, and the concentration on his face in the form of a frown every time he buried himself in a book.

“I want this,  you are my idol, I joined SOLDIER to be just like you”  I pulled back cupping his face in my hands leaning closer to place another kiss on his lips, controlling it showing him I wanted this more than he could ever know

“Look into my eyes and tell me I don’t want you.”