Paper Tiger Burning

I respectfully credit all Original Creators, namely Squaresoft, which became SquareEnix,for these characters. In this way, I pay homage to my Fandom's Original Creator, and illustrate my Community's belief that Fan Fiction is "fair use". I do not claim to own these characters. I do not make money or gil from using these protected characters, nor do I wish to make money or gil from them. In other words, I am borrowing these characters to entertain the adult fanfiction community, but I am doing so with the highest degree of respect to the engineers, game designers, music makers, and voice actors.



“Why are you still here?”

Sephiroth chuckled at my question. He un-wrapped a ginger chew and stuck it in his mouth. All around him lay books. Some of them stood in stacks a few feet high. He lounged in the middle, an open tome propped on his slender hip. He’d adjusted the top slats on the window to allow light in, and it streamed over him. His pale skin and silver-white hair simply glowed. Pupils reduced to slits, he stared at me with those aquamarine orbs.

“Seriously,” I said. “It’s ten.”

“I’m taking a sick day,” he said. He gestured to the books. “It will take all day for me to read these.”

“Just a day?” I grabbed one off the top of the nearest stack and glanced at the title. It read Abnormal Psychology. “You’re reading mental health books?”

“Yes.” Sephiroth smiled. “The crafting of fun.”

I frowned. “Is this part of the plan you mentioned?”

“Yes, and the beauty of it is, my plan started the moment I called in the sick day. It’s common knowledge I’ve never been sick.”

I smiled a little. His quirky mood had a contagious quality. “You’re going to keep them guessing,” I surmised. “But why the psychology books?”

“I’m going to augment my unstable personality,” Sephiroth answered. “Hojo doesn’t focus on mental illnesses; he doesn’t care about that particular branch of science and medicine. Yet, he’ll pick up on anomalies, and he’ll then pass the knowledge of those anomalies to Rufus.”

I began to see his game. “But what about the men? Aren’t you afraid your command will suffer?”

“Not at all. Many crazy people lead armies; sometimes it’s seen as a good thing to have a crazy commanding officer.” He paused. “But they think I’m mad anyway, so what’s the difference? In any case, men heed your words more when they believe they might need to pay attention for their own health.”

I had to admire the man’s cunning. Too, I felt compelled to give him a nod of recognition for always calling an issue out with its ugliness fully exposed. “Isn’t this a long way to go for a joke?” I asked.

“A joke?” Sephiroth’s smile flattened into something positively sinister. “Does it follow that this is a joke because I’m smiling?”

“No, I just don’t know where you’re going with this; that was the closest thing I could come to,” I explained. “I’m not very intuitive with you, especially since I’ve been making an effort to close off.”

Sephiroth’s left eyebrow disappeared under his hair. “You never relaxed? You’ve been keeping yourself closed off even without physical contact since the day we tested your strength?” His tone of frank astonishment instantly made me worry.

“Yes, is that bad?” I asked.

“Bad?” Sephiroth let a puff of air escape his lips. “Just out of curiosity, try to lower your shield now.”

I mentally relaxed. Instantly I felt a flood of emotion, his and mine. He felt as amazed as he looked, but also…cautiously proud? “Ok,” I said. “It’s done. Strange how I didn’t really miss life without the shield until I dropped it.”

From him a burst of relief hit me, followed by a strengthened sense of pride.

“And,” I went on, “I think I can feel things more acutely now. I’m getting real emotion from you, not just fleeting impressions.” I smirked and shrugged, unable to resist a dig. “I guess we’re even now, since you can apparently hear my thoughts.”

Sephiroth looked away, but I felt him grinning at the tease. My stomach began to feel fluttery at his pleasure. His pleasure stimulated me so much. I wiped my palms on my borrowed shirt. “I didn’t mean to offend you when I called this a joke,” I said. “Won’t you tell me what you’re planning?”

“Do you want the ultimate goal or the immediate goal?” Sephiroth cocked his head a little as he turned back around to look at me.

Would I ever get used to the intensity of his eyes? I bet quite a few people couldn’t even meet his stare. No matter what he concealed behind a blank expression, an animal lurked within. Right now that animal totally attended me, leaving me feeling as if he could touch me from three feet away.

“Just tell me what you want,” I answered, “but do explain it a little more, anyway.”

“Alright.” Sephiroth closed his book. “Sit down.”

I sat down on the floor in front of him, tucking my legs to one side. Not having any undergarments kept returning as one of the most important things I needed to remedy…

“You’re such a lady,” Sephiroth murmured as I settled. “My inner, pantomime villain loves that, and he’s not the only one.”

Short and shallow breaths seemed the order of the moment.

Sephiroth blinked. “But as for the explanation…” He picked up a book and flipped through it idly, his gaze on the book but not absorbing anything. “I told you Hojo was a walking mass of neurosis. I wasn’t exaggerating; the man is paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, schizophrenic and many others.”

“I believe it,” I added.

He smirked. “Well, he’s not interested in psychology. He doesn’t even know the names of some of his disorders. He doesn’t take medication for any of his illnesses. Still, he investigated me enough to learn I’m suffering from something called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder. He called in another physician for that, a Professor Gast.”

The bottom dropped out of my heart. “Gast?”

“You knew him?” Sephiroth heard the amazement in my tone.

“Yes. He was my father,” I said faintly. “Hojo had him killed.” My poor father… He’d returned to the Lifestream; I spoke with his spirit and mother’s too while Hojo’s prisoner. They probably wondered where I had disappeared to, since I hadn’t spoken to them for a little while.

Sephiroth’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know this,” he said. “He was the only scientist at Shin-Ra that I liked.”

“Tell me why,” I invited. “I’d love to hear about my father.”

He nodded. “Your father often fought Hojo for my sake, and almost equally often he sabotaged Hojo’s machinations. A few times he even came to blows with Hojo over me.”

I smiled. That’s my daddy,” I said. I knew he’d been a brave man.

Sephiroth paused. “He brought me candy.” A soft smile touched his lips. “He taught me how to write.” His eyes cut to me. “I definitely preferred your father over mine,” he joked. “But I behaved myself for Gast.”

“Because of his kindness?” I wanted to know what earned Sephiroth’s respect.

“He seemed to genuinely care about me.” Sephiroth shrugged. “Anyway, your father diagnosed me with these disorders and duly informed Hojo of his findings, urging Hojo not to make me worse. There was some concern I’d become a serial killer. Hojo took that seriously because he wasn’t qualified to make another judgment and because he didn’t want the responsibility of answering for what I did.”

I nodded, easily believing Hojo would have avoided anything that would put his projects in jeopardy.

“So, while Hojo did nothing to treat my disorders, he attempted to not strengthen them. To this day he follows that. I’m about to get worse, I’m sorry to report.” Sephiroth grinned again. “And it will make him, Rufus, and a number of others very jumpy. A jumpy Hojo pleases me. A jumpy Rufus will contradict Shin-Ra’s campaign for decent public relations as well. Rufus has his father’s temper; the more irritable he gets the more toes he steps on.”

“Ok.” I thought about that. “So, what is the end result?”

“Nothing more than exacerbating Hojo’s existing condition until he becomes unable to work, and revealing Rufus Shinra as a fallible human being in charge of the most powerful company on the planet.” Sephiroth handed me a book. “My later plans hinge upon this one working well, so be a dear and help me find a new mental illness to go along with the others I have.”

Chuckling, I took the book and began to read.

*******************************************************************************

“How about this one?” Sephiroth cleared his throat. “Manic-depressive or bipolar disorder.”

“I think you need to go simpler,” I said. “Hojo will want to medicate you if he thinks you’re bipolar. How about basic schizophrenia? Hearing voices and the like would be great fun to pretend.” We’d waded through two stacks of books and now the sun threatened to fall past usefulness. Sephiroth could speed read, I’d noticed. For every one I skimmed, he fully read three or four.

“That’s a good one,” he mused. “Perhaps add hypomania to it, a borderline case.” He frowned. “Yes, that’ll do.” He handed me the description.

• - characterized by either upper or lower persistent mood, with accompanying appropriate thoughts and behaviors
• pressured speech; rapid talking
• over-developed self-esteem
• lowered need for sleep
• subjective experience that thoughts are flying at high speed
• easily distracted and increased psychomotor agitation
• steep involvement in pleasurable activities that may have a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences.[1]
“Just pick a few out of there for borderline?” I enquired, nodding my approval. “The mood will be easily generated. Which do you think would frighten people more? Uninhibited bad mood or scary, persistent good mood?”

“The good mood, but I don’t want to ruin my image.” Sephiroth smirked to himself. “I pick a persistent low, irritable mood, the lowered need for sleep, and the pursuit of pleasurable activities with negative consequences. I already have the over developed sense of worth and high-flying thoughts.”

“Maybe you are suffering from hypomania,” I chuckled.

“Possible.” Sephiroth reclined in his books, putting his arms behind his head. “Or, I could just be an egotistical son of a bitch because I have reason.”

I couldn’t help giggling at him. “Are you going to show me your plumage next?” I teased, referring to the sorts of dances performed by male birds trying to attract a mate. He really did have a highly developed ego.

Sephiroth shot me a sideways look. “I only have one wing, but it’s quite lovely.”

Again I laughed out loud. “You don’t fly with it anyway; what’s it for?”

“I don’t know. I use it for flight stability when I can.” He frowned, his eyes glazing over. “I seem to recall having a lot of wings at one point.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s very dramatic,” I assured him. “One is better than none.”

Sephiroth rolled to his side, propping his head in his hand. “On a different topic, tomorrow we start your training. I’ll steal a trooper uniform from work tomorrow and bring it home. You can’t fight in an oversized shirt.” His brilliant gaze coasted over me slowly. “As appealing as it might be in theory…”

I blushed. I knew because I felt the familiar heating-up of my face and neck. “You look at my legs a lot,” I accused. I’d often felt his eyes lingering upon them.

“I do,” he agreed. “Yours go on forever. And, though I haven’t provided you with a razor, you have no hair on them.”

“My head is the only place I have hair,” I explained, blushing harder. “It’s a mark of Cetra.”

“I see.” Sephiroth’s eyes lazily traveled me again. I got the idea he found this information stimulating. Attention lingering upon my lap, his energy pulsed white hot with lust. The sheer force of his desire made me weak. But he didn’t move, didn’t flicker an eyelash. He had control of himself.

What enviable command…

My own attraction to him wouldn’t stand that much desire; just the second-hand force of his made me shaky. But it did dampen my ardor to think of having to fight against him. This was Sephiroth. Facing him in a combative situation intimidated me. Sweet Planet, it intimidated me.

“Where will we get a staff?” I asked, breaking the heavy tension a little.

“We’ll cut them. I know a secluded place we can fly to for private training.” Sephiroth waved his arm, casually stacking all the books around him into two piles with telekinesis. “You don’t look very enthusiastic. Are you afraid I’ll hurt you?”

“Well…” I winced. “Yes. It’s training; training hurts.”

He smiled. “Very true. Don’t worry about it. I won’t harm a hair on your head.”

“You can harm all the hair you want,” I huffed. “Just don’t knock the head off underneath it.”

Sephiroth nodded, humor shining in his eyes. “Don’t be so gloomy, flower girl. You’re getting private lessons in defense and attack from the Silver General. This is a great opportunity.”

“Working on that hypomania so soon?” I asked loftily. “You’ve had a splendid start just now.”

“I suppose it doesn’t help matters that I really am the best?”

Unable to hold back the humor, I let the corner of my mouth turn up. “It does help, really,” I confessed. “I know there’s no one better than you.”

“Cloud is better,” he said easily. I heard the unspoken question of my agreement, felt it in his vibe. Cloud’s habit of beating him in combat prickled at his large self-image.

“You’re just arrogant,” I said. “If you could keep from playing cat and mouse I really think it would be a tougher match.”

“I’m sure you’re correct,” he murmured. “But playing with him is such fun.”

I regarded him steadily. “Cloud says you taunt him with darkness. What does he taunt you with?”

“His innate goodness,” Sephiroth answered immediately.

“Then it doesn’t interest you to know Cloud only started working for AVALANCHE because he wanted the money? That he didn’t originally care a whit for the death of the planet?”

Sephiroth sat up. “Do tell?” I’d piqued his interest.

“Yes, Barret told me, as did Tifa.” I settled back. “He learned to care over time. He didn’t even agree to be my bodyguard unless he got something out of it, initially. I promised to go out with him once, which seemed to be enough.”

“I’m sure it was,” Sephiroth said lightly. “So you’re telling me Cloud Strife wasn’t always a sanctimonious little shit?”

I frowned at him. “He’s my friend even if he’s your enemy. I won’t ask the two of you to settle your differences or interfere in any way between you, but please don’t malign him to me. I love Cloud.”

Sephiroth zeroed in on me with his eyes. “How much do you love him?” His tone, intense and dark, sent a shiver up my spine.

“I love him like he’s my brother,” I said truthfully. “I love him deeply.”

Sephiroth bowed his head a moment. “I can’t promise anything, but I will endeavor to not antagonize you with my opinion on him.”

“Good enough,” I answered, glad of the compromise. I dreaded the moment the two men met.

We looked at each other. I tried to keep my attention off of his lips, but it proved impossible. I already wanted another kiss from him, and I didn’t much care at the moment what the consequences might be.

“Careful,” he said quietly. “It’s still too new; we’ll burn up like shooting stars.” In his eyes I saw thinly stretched patience, wry humor and just a touch of wonder.

“How will we know…?” I asked, frustrated. I wasn’t used to feeling like this. I teetered between relief and regret that he wouldn’t push me toward a more…physical relationship. I feared what I wanted and wanted what I feared.

“I’m betting we just will,” he replied. “Have some faith in yourself, flower girl, and in me.”

Chastised and petulant yet trying not to indulge in the snit, I sighed. “My faith in each of us is fairly developed, but patience isn’t my strongest point.”

“Nor is it mine.” Sephiroth echoed my sigh. “But I’m going up to my apartment for a few hours to bathe and nap. I’ll come back with supper.” He rose gracefully, stroked the top of my head as he passed by. “You should rest as well. Tomorrow evening I’m going to work you until you drop.”