Pater Familias

“Father, you are high,” Sephiroth said, sniffing my hair. He crossed his arms. “You know how I feel about the cocaine, but is this really any better?”

He looked so serious.

I felt my lips moving, stretching with humor. “Lighten up.” I hefted Syvas’ pipe and stuck it between my teeth. My brother wouldn’t need it for awhile. He’d gone to tend to his plants. “Here,” I said, taking the pipe back out and offering it to him. “Take a hit. You could use a sense of humor right about now.”

Sephiroth leveled his eyes. “I don’t believe I will,” he said.

I shrugged. “Suit yourself.” I lit up, inhaled, and then put the pipe away. If I did any more of this stuff I’d be blitzed. I already could hear colors; I didn’t need to smell them.

“You are such a junkie.” Sephiroth’s disapproving eyes gleamed. “I know it won’t hurt you, but must you initiate intoxication at any given opportunity?”

I sighed. I took the blame for my son’s lack of adventurousness. His somber childhood negated impulsive action. “Boy,” I said. “I haven’t seen my brother or smoked his delightful cross-strain in a few decades. Is this the time to lecture me?”

Sephiroth’s expression relaxed. “I suppose not,” he relented. “But it worries me that I can’t hear your thoughts.”

“I’m sure that’s temporary.” I stood and put Syvas’ box away. As I shoved it to the back of the cabinet I spied an object I hadn’t seen since a child.

My violin case.

I took it up, unable to stop smiling. Syvas himself bought me the instrument. He’d saved up his odd job money, and then walked a hundred and fifty kilometers to the nearest music store. On the way home he caught a chocobo. I remembered vividly seeing him riding in, the case tucked under his arm.

Reverently, I opened the case. The smell of rosin and incense filled me with nostalgic pleasure. My instrument gleamed a dark reddish brown. I ran my finger down the body of it, feeling the satin texture of the wood. I’d made music with this work of art for hours and hours and hours.

How ironic I’d just purchased a new violin. I would leave my old friend with my brother, but I would play while here.

I sat and began to tune. The finite screws for fine adjustment felt a little stiff, but I soon finished. I rosined the bow and made a few passes on each string to ensure proper pitch. Oh yes, she still had her fiery belly. Standing, I began with the violin movement from Stars Must Burn.

And, I lost myself. I felt the music inside me. The room faded and I saw nothing, but the notes reverberated in my very bones. How I could have put this beauty aside I didn’t know. Madness, I supposed, drew one far away from even the deepest love.

I finished, my eyes blinking to clear the haze of music. They focused, lighting on my son. “How was that?” I asked, winking.

Sephiroth shook his head. “You know you did well. I thought it beautiful.”

“Good.” I wiped the violin, loosened the bow strings and put both away. As I turned I saw Aerith, Sakura and Syvas standing in the doorway. They’d watched me silently for an unknown amount of time. Syvas’ smiling, bloodshot eyes radiated pride and happiness.

“You’ll have to play at least once every day you’re here,” my brother said. “It’s good to know you haven’t lost your touch.”

“I think I can manage that,” I answered.

****************************************************************************

“You want to be alone or may I join you?”

I’d heard her coming.

“Pull up a rock,” I said, waving my arm around to encompass the meaning. I sat just before the koi pond, slowly feeding Syvas’ fish from a stale loaf of bread. The flashes of gold, red and silver just under the water’s surface had a mesmerizing effect upon me. I didn’t know how long I’d been out here, just that my ass felt slightly numb from sitting so still.

Sakura sat gracefully beside me, stirring the breeze with her cherry and almond scent. “You like fish, don’t you?” she asked.

“They’re very graceful,” I murmured, giving her a chunk of the bread. “And, they’re quiet.”

“Is that a hint for me to shut my mouth?” Sakura crumbled her bread and began tossing pieces out, her grey eyes tracking the sudden ripples.

“I usually have no desire to hint.”

Sakura laughed softly. “I suspected so, but I had to ask.” She seemed to fidget a little and I wondered if the cool air disturbed her.

I shed my jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “Tired of the house?” I asked.

“No, just more interested in talking to you, alone,” she said, placing her nose against my jacket sleeve. “You just bought this coat a few days ago and it already smells like you.”

Intrigued, I scattered more bread over the water. “And what do I smell like?”

“Honestly?” Sakura’s eyes darkened mysteriously.

“If you won’t be honest there’s no need to reply,” I countered.

“You smell like a combination of blood, expensive incense and musk.” Sakura took another long inhale over the jacket, this time at the collar. “Most men smell like musk, but yours is different.”

“Mako and Jenova change the chemistry.” I shifted a little to alleviate the pressure on my butt.

“I’ll take your word on that.” Sakura bent her head and angled up to try to view my eyes.

I obliged her, turning my head so she could see me. “You have something on your mind,” I said, watching her. “Are you well?”

“I’m okay,” she said quickly. “I’m enjoying it here already. Your brother is delightful and so is his home.” Her gaze went to my lips for a moment before moving to my eyes. “I do have something on my mind, though.”

I waited quietly, knowing she would eventually tell me. Women never just expressed themselves bluntly unless for dramatic effect.

“I just wondered if my telling you ‘no’ had put you off,” she said finally. “I don’t know what you’re accustomed to, and I just wanted clarification.”

“I see,” I replied, a bit relieved she hadn’t touched on the more complicated aspects of a relationship with me. “You’re very accustomed to brutish wooing, my dear. From what I’ve seen of your past romantic entanglements, you would naturally imagine a man has no patience.” I draped my arm around her, enjoying the feel of her coming closer to my side. “No, Sakura. I’m able and willing to wait for my tokens of affection.”

“Tokens of affection,” she repeated.

“Yes. What’s the matter? Did you never hear it expressed so formally?”

She shook her head, grinning at the rocks. “Are all men of your age so…smooth? I think I’ve been missing out.”

I smiled. “Age brings experience,” I said. “And, experience brings skill.”

Sakura’s cheeks flushed pink. “Are you skilled, Hojo?”

“As compared to your previous lovers?” I turned it back around, hoping she would reveal something on her own. I didn’t always want to learn about her because I’d dosed her with alcohol.

Sakura clasped her hands together nervously, twisting the ring on her thumb. “The…few I’ve had were impatient. I’ve never actually had sex with any of the men that are or were after me, though. My experiences came in college.”

“So, only boys in your bedroom,” I murmured.

“I guess.” She inhaled to let out a short, sharp sigh. “No one and nothing noteworthy, anyway. I never even had one of those typical, horror-story loss of virginity experiences; I must have broken my own hymen somehow as a child. So, even the first guy didn’t even get a mark-down. I barely remember him.”

I’d heard similar from a few women. Many females ended up losing that useless piece of skin on their own. Still, she wouldn’t forget me once I cut loose on her. I’d heard my name called out in a few dozen different octaves, but gentlemen didn’t brag. For that reason I kept my mouth shut about my skill level.

“I wouldn’t disappoint you,” I said simply.

Sakura grinned again, tilting her head at me. “I get that impression,” she agreed. “I’ve never had such a hot kiss.”

My libido stirred hopefully.

“Then why don’t you invite me to kiss you now, Sakura?” I asked, leaning closer and turning up the heat. “Let me put those delicious lips of yours to use?” I came closer, closer, watching her tremble and her pupils dilate. She smelled very good. Her sweet scent mingled with the tang of anticipation, and I knew I’d wet her between her legs.

I reached for her, pulled her off the rock and straddled her in my lap, facing me. Her gasp of surprise cut the cool air. She only struggled a moment before realizing I hadn’t acted further. Turning those widened, stormy eyes to mine, she stared down at me with her breathing accelerated. Her breasts rose and fell in a rhythm very close to my face.

“I’m too heavy for this,” she said, trying to make a logical escape.

“You’re as light as a feather, my dear,” I murmured. “But, I feel your thighs trembling.” I slid a hand down one of those firm thighs, wanting to feel bare flesh instead of soft denim. “In fact, you tremble all over. I don’t think you’re worried about how heavy you feel on my legs.” I found a home for my other hand, spreading my fingers over the small of her back. “I think you’re afraid of me, and, you like it.”

“I’ve been afraid of men before,” she whispered, her hands tightly clenched upon my shoulders.

“I’m sure you have, but not in the way you fear me. It’s one thing to fear a petty crook or a simple thug, but quite another to fear a villain.” I pressed upon her back gently, urging her to bend. “Now, why don’t you kiss me?”

Shuddering, Sakura came closer, her lips parting slowly.

I let her lead. The first contact shot straight to my groin. She was gentleness, curiosity, her mouth warm and soft. She sought my tongue shyly, asking, so I gave. We entwined. I felt her hands pushing up underneath my hair, her short nails scraping my scalp and eliciting shivers.

I wanted to take control of her. My hands moved to her waist, stirred by a primitive desire to keep her. I could do nothing with her if she got away from me.

Sakura began to pull back before I felt satisfied. I bit her lip gently, stilling her retreat.

My turn. She wanted a villain. Those boys weren’t good enough to scratch her itch.

I took her by her pretty hair, tugging her head back. The curve of her throat met my eyes. I pressed my mouth to that satin skin, feeling her pulse hammering against my lips. Right under my chin, her lovely breasts heaved with her breathing.

“Hojo,” she whimpered. I heard fear and longing battling for dominance.

“Yes,” I whispered against her collarbone. “What is it you want, pretty?”

“I…” She swallowed hard. Her hands convulsed upon my shoulders. “I c-can’t, not yet.”

“I know.” I nudged just under her ear, feeling a tremor run through her body. “I’m in no hurry.” A lie, but I had control of myself and she would never know how much I burned to spread her under me until the moment I actually did. For her, I could force patience.

I released her hair, letting her straighten. She swayed as she looked down upon me, eyes half-lidded and dark. Slowly, I stood with her, allowing her feet to gradually find rock. Once she stood mostly on her own, I took her by the hand. “Come,” I urged her. “It’s too chilly and damp out here for an overheated body.”

She stumbled just a little. I righted her, taking her by the elbow. Blushing, she let me guide her back into the house.