Lovers Trust

Notes: The chapter many of you have waited for!!
Damn. Feels like I’m torturing you poor guys…


23

[Seifer]
He didn’t know for how long they had walked, or even if they were walking. He didn’t feel anything under his feet. He wasn’t tired, or hungry or thirsty. Seifer had just silently followed the intimidating spirit. He’d been thinking about what Shiva had showed him. It felt surreal, something he couldn’t grasp. Seifer guessed he could ask Griever about it. But… one just didn’t start speaking to that one.

Griever had been silent all the while, not sparing him even a glance since they’d started walking. Seifer studied the swaying tail. Remembering Shiva’s memory of that other time when Squall had been some kind of sacrifice. And the age before that… when they’d obviously been man and woman. A involuntarily shiver racked his body. Better leave that subject alone.

Seifer almost run straight into the GF as Griever suddenly stopped and turned half to look down at him. Seifer looked up. Was he supposed to say something? He didn’t like this GF one bit. The other’s had only known Griever by their fight against him in the Time Compression. Only Squall had seemed to know something about the impressive spirit. He’d had the pendant after all. On both sword and around his throat.

: : What? : : Seifer snapped after awhile.

It made the GF smirk one scary smirk. Seifer’s gut clenched at that. Hyne. He so wanted Shiva back.

: : You are scared : : Griever’s voice was deep, vibrating like that of the memory.

: : So? I’ve only heard about you fighting the others : : Seifer retorted and glared at the cat.

Griever didn’t say anything, but his eyes bore through Seifer as if he’d been translucent. It made his throat dry and his heart thud. After a silent moment of staring. Griever stepped aside as if he were hiding something behind his back.

: : They tried pry into his deepest mind. He hid himself in there while I guarded him : : the GF said while crossing his arms.

Seifer stared straight ahead into blackness. In there? In the darkness? He was about to ask what the GF meant, as a siluete appeared. It looked like a giant ball of darkness, only a shade different from the darkness around it.

Seifer slowly stepped up to the ball. It really was a ball. When he put a hand against it, it bucked, but didn’t give in. He put more strength behind it. It still didn’t more than buck. As he punched it, it just rippled. So… Squall was in there. Why didn’t come out to see who was banging?

Seifer jolted as Griever suddenly stepped up beside him. Black claws viciously clawed the black ball, but the claws didn’t even pierce it. Seifer clenched his teeth. If not even the GF’s claws could break it, how was Seifer supposed to reach inside?

: : Violence will not help : : Griever said simply and crossed his arms and took a step backwards.

: : Then, why don’t he come out? He knows you’re here, right? : : Seifer asked silently.

Griever laid his ears back as if in disapproval. His golden eyes gleamed in the dark face.

: : He trusts me, I could take him with me : : Griever said sharply, tail swiping back and forth.

: : Take him with you? : : Seifer had a vague guess what that meant.

: : But you want your lover even in this life whatever it’ll cost you, right? : : Griever smirked and Seifer couldn’t help but glare up.

: : Damn right! I just need to get inside and drag him out again? : : Griever didn’t answer, but his amused expression was enough.

Seifer walked around the thing, but it just looked all the same. Griever had lad down at a divan he’d gotten from somewhere when Seifer returned. The blond tried pushing at the ball again, without any other result. He tried punching it again.

When he’d tried to even call the brunet through the black wall, he’d started to feel despair. Nothing seemed to work. Seifer glared at the lazy cat.

: : So, how do I get in? : :

: : You’re his lover, if you can’t even manage something so simple… : : Griever shrugged and Seifer wanted Hyperion by his side so bad he could taste her metal.

He glared at the black ball again. Alright… restart. He was in Squall’s mind, his conscious part. What did he know about his tricky love? Seifer had hardly ever gotten any reaction out of him without the bullying. That was what Seifer thought.

What about all those times they’d actually had hold a conversation? Even before the war. It hadn’t started by Seifer bullying the kid, that was for sure. Then, even if Squall wanted pain, he didn’t like it.

Seifer put his hand against the black material again. What if this wasn’t a ball. It was a disguise. Black, against blackness. Squall’s conscious was behind this thing. Seifer closed his eyes and stroked.

A hard stroke down that he lightened on the way up. How did he stroke his lion’s back when Squall was too exhausted to care? Hard with palm down, feeling the muscles of his back ripple, light fingertips up again. Hard down, light nails making circles up. Thumb lightly following his spine down, to then use knuckles upwards. Only too restart the three movements.

Suddenly Seifer was falling. As he opened his eyes, he glided through the black material.

*****

[Squall]
At first, he’d ignored the sensation of someone banging at his walls. It was something he was used to, something he’d learned to ignore. He knew it was the witch wishing to get inside of him. She’d succeeded; he’d give her that. She had made him flee from himself, flee from the terror and… agony.

However, the stroking sensations were something completely new. He knew that touch, those hands, that mind. And he became curious. It wasn’t the purring of Griever, who he knew guarded him. It wasn’t the soft alluring voice of the sorceress either. He couldn’t put his finger on whom or what it was. Who could find him here besides Griever? Squall knew he had buried himself so deep not even the sorceress could find him any more.

Anyway. After listening and feeling for a long time, he couldn’t stop his curiosity. So soft, warm, calming, soothing. Rinoa? Had she found him? Couldn’t be. Could it? It took him sometime more before he dared soften. The moment he relaxed, it was unstoppable. The presence floated into him without stop. Making Squall panic as it became too much in this small cramped space he’d made for himself.

The darkness around him evaporated to give room for this alien light. Squall choked on his own breath as he gazed upon the blond man once being a friend.

*****

[Seifer]
He knew he had past some barrier and gotten in our out on the other side. But everything was black. But he could sense his lover. It was everywhere. Above, under, beside. It was like jumping down in a pool of Squall essence. Seifer also knew when the brunet had decided he didn’t like Seifer’s intrusion. It felt like a train rushed straight into him.

: : Out! : : Squall roared at him.

More powerful and intimidating than anything Seifer had ever met. Squall pushed himself onto the blond with all his willpower. It was like being pummeled by Ultimecia on her nasty days, but ten times worse. Seifer wailed in himself, he twisted and squirmed to get away from the angry Squall. Fighting was as good as meaningless. Seifer didn’t see any Squall, he only felt.

: : Squall! Calm down, show yourself! : : Seifer was very aware that he sounded more than pleading.

Sudden light and Seifer lay kneeling on a gray floor. He was panting as if he’d been running for his life, his body was shaking, his head pounding. Only the familiar tingle from the Griever pendant made him look up.

Squall stood only steps away with Lionheart drawn, face angry and… scared. They stared at each other for a long time. What was this? Was it a memory? No, couldn’t be. This was Squall, this was definitely his Squall. Or… was it? Squall sure as hell didn’t look anywhere near lovingly. He looked furious and… scared. He had his regular clothes. Everything down to every button. As Seifer slowly got to his feet, he felt the familiar weight of Hyperion by his side. When had she gotten there?

“Out!” Squall growled and raised Lionheart into striking position.

“Woa! Wait!” Seifer held up both hands and retreated.

He didn’t get far. The room… or space they were in looked like some box, hardly big enough to draw even less raise the gunblades in. Seifer almost hit his head in the ceiling. Squall narrowed his eyes, but didn’t move. Didn’t he remember? Seifer eyed the brunet. Didn’t Squall even know what was happening?

“I’m not here to hurt you,” he said silently. Squall made a snarl.

“Right, like in D-District?” he growled out and Seifer blinked.

*****

[Squall]
His heart was racing. His body shivered in both joy, rage and fear. He knew he didn’t need to fear Seifer, he knew he shouldn’t trust Seifer, he knew he loved Seifer. Confusing. All was just… hunches, fragments of memories. He couldn’t trust anything anymore. This was certainly another trick of the sorceress.

“You don’t know what’s happened? That the war is over?” Seifer asked silently, worriedly.

Squall almost sneered at the blond. Did he think Squall was stupid? The war wasn’t over. How could it be if he still was in that… place? If the war were over, the others would surely have found him and rescued him, right? Somewhere something whispered that Seifer was right. Squall knew it was all over because he’d been there. But how? Impossibly, he’d been hiding here all this time.

“Squall… listen to me. I would never have gotten in here, if I were not trustworthy, right? Griever wouldn’t have let me past and not you either. Not even Shiva is accepted this deep within you,” Seifer said softly. So unusual him.

Seifer never used such a soft, calm voice. He never had that expression of… of something Squall hadn’t a word for. And he would never step closer to Squall without drawing Hyperion when Squall was armed and ready.

“Stay away,” he said unsteadily.

There was something here that wasn’t right. Something he couldn’t place, some deep longing he couldn’t understand. What was happening… out there? In his conscious mind? Seifer had stopped for a moment, but had soon continued. Squall should rise and strike. He shouldn’t let the blond come to close, without Lionheart Squall wouldn’t stand a chance. He’d never done.

“Stop,” he said again but Seifer just slowly continued.

Squall found himself frozen to the spot as the blond laid a hand against Lionheart and gently pushed him away. He didn’t demand Squall let go of the gunblad, just pushed it away so he could get closer. No, Squall shouldn’t. He must fight. Seifer wasn’t to be trusted. He was the Sorceress Knight. Her lap dog. He was not to be trusted.

But Squall stood still and quiet as gently arms circled him and held him against a broad chest. As Squall didn’t protest, the embrace tightened and a sigh of… something, ruffled his hair. How long they stood, Squall didn’t know. He was fighting himself.

Something told him to hug back, to bury his face against that chest and inhaled the deep scent of his lover. Another told him to push away and demand explanations. And a third… A third whispered that the touch of a man was dangerous. That third voice murmured stories about violence and dark things.

He let go of Lionheart at sometime. It disappeared into thin air. Squall grabbed the trenchcoat of the blond, it felt good. It felt even better to sink deeper into the embrace and close one’s eyes. It was right. It felt right. Was it true then? Was the war over?

“I don’t believe you,” he murmured against the other youth.

He received a rumbling chuckle.

“Of course you don’t, you’re Squall,” Seifer answered. The last was almost whispered, as if the blonde’s voice just gave up on him.

Squall flinched as a hand was placed in his hair and gentle stroked it. That didn’t feel entirely wrong either. Why? Why was he feeling like this? Like trusting and… loving?

“I’ll tell you what has happened,” Seifer said softly and Squall looked up.

That expression again. That soft expression that made the green eyes so… deep and bright. Love?


Author’s Whining:
Niahahaha! I’m so evil who gives you these cliffhangers! Sorry, just had to end the chapter before it became too much.
And we have to know what’s happening in the real world, right?