From heaven to hell

My hands are cold and aching, just like my arms. I move them but feel them tied, by the wrists, above my head. My head feels light yet is so heavy. I can barely hold it up. I shift from the position I am in but I don’t need to move much to see my knees tied to the ground. I am trapped. My shoulders are aching because my arms have been up for probably a long time.

But where am I this time?

Forcing my eyes open I glance around. It appears I am back in the lab. I can make up the bookshelves and the table near me.

So I am right in the middle of the room.

"Well, well, It's seems like you have awaken, Valentine."

That voice! Memories of what happened not long ago comes back: Both my hands being blueish again, Hojo being thrilled about it, me rushing to him, him dodging me and knocking me out with some ether or whatever was on the cloth that he pressed on my face. How could I have been so careless? I did exactly the opposite of all protocols I learnt.

"..Hojo." I hissed.

"Oh, you don't seem happy to see me Valentine, so sad. I was hoping to see you on a better day."

"What have you done to me!"

No answer... I repeat the question and this time, I hear a chuckle.

" Don't you like it? You are turning out to be quite something Valentine. Oh, of course you won't know the reasons of all this, you'll probably be dead before you get to know them but you are still very useful to me, for now."

"What are you talking about?"

"The Jenova project. It is far more than you think and Sephiroth will not be the only result of this. But of course, with Lucrecia and Gast both gone, I needed someone else to finish the testing and prove some of the theories I have..."

He knelt in front of me, mischievously smiling.

"..and what a test subject I have...physically stronger than 'normal' humans, with a great response to all genetical modifications I can do, you are not rejecting any of the cells I added in you. I don't know how you pulled that one Valentine, but it's very useful to me. And of course..."

His smile turned into something I couldn't comprehend while still being something that scared me, somewhere inside. He had something behind his mind.

"Oh yes.. what a test subject I have..." He repeated, passing his hand on my face and hair.
I took my face away from his touch and watched him get back to his feet, walking behind me.

"Humph, just like her."

Like her? Who is this "she" he is talking about? I dared to ask him.

"Who she is? Someone you know very well Valentine. Someone who was also important to me. Or at least, temporarily."

He chuckled again. Could she be..

"Lucrecia?"

"But of course, who else? Who else would hold some importance to me aside Jenova, for at least a minute or two? Only those involved into the project. That is.... until they serve no purpose anymore."

Anger rose within me, how could he talk about her like that? I growled, trying to break free from my bounds. Hojo walked back in front of me.

"Don't even try Valentine. You wont escape this place for as long as I want you to stay here. I even blocked your alteration from having any effect on you for the time being, so you are definitely not strong enough to go anywhere."

"My alterations..."

"Beasts! You are no longer human, isn't that wonderful? Well you look like one but once you are furious or when you take too much damage.. POOF! you are nothing more than a beast, a monster, even a demon to some extent." He said, with a joyous tone and frenetically moving his hands.

That monster.. was really me? This horrid creature I saw and somehow still appears through my left arm, is a permanent part of... me?

"how!"

"Gene splicing.. too complicated for you to understand but simple for me to do. This is as far as you need to know for what concerns you. Oh Sephiroth, your army will be perfect."

"Sephiroth? Army? "

"What do you think the Jenova project was for?"

"To find the promised land, recreate an ancient to lead the population there."

"This is what Gast believed... The Jenova project was indeed to recreate an ancient, but not to lead population there. It's to lead Midgar there, so they can have another city with more mako power. Sephiroth will lead us there and he will be followed and helped with a group of genetically altered peoples."

He snickered. "I guess, in the end, I told you why I had to try those thing on you, my dear test subject."

Test subject.. I gritted my teeth, remembering how Gast and Lucrecia's story was completely different.

"You lied to Gast and Lucrecia about this?"

"No I haven't, it's Shinra who did. But since they never asked me for the truth, why should I have told them? And personally, it suited me fine..."

His voice became darker, filled with rage and disgust.

"That.. woman.. she meant so much to Gast.. She was even about to become her first assistant..throwing me into the blue. I didn't want this.. I AM Shinra's best scientist.. and there is NO WAY that I will fall second to this.. woman.."

I caught my breath..

"what ?!"

"It was so easy to push her aside...yet it required me to go smoothly. One step at a time... First take her out.. then Gast would leave.. then it's you. All proves gone and me at the head of the scientifical department."

He knelt down in front of me, once again, catching my chin in a tight grip.

"You being with her caused me a lot of trouble and required me to take my time, but look at you now Turks. Nothing more than a test subject. That's for being in my way, that's for trying to dissuade her from doing this."

"So you did kill her!"

"Of course I did, but I wasn't stupid enough to say that right in your face while you were loose, not with your alterations kicking in. But now that they are in MY control, why not as well tell you the truth?"

Once again that smile which I cannot comprehend. What is on his mind?

"Now let me ask you some questions Valentine.. Who's son do you think Sephiroth is? I bet this never crossed your imagination right?"

"She told me you artificially inseminated her."

He bursted in laughter, sending shivers down my spine. Could.. I be wrong?
"You are so naive Valentine.. You really think I would do that?"

"I swear.. if you laid your hands on her I’ll.."

"You'll do what, huh? What can you possibly do tied up like this? I AM the one giving threats, Turks!"

Saying this, he slapped me across the face.

"I'll tell you what I did Valentine.. I’ll let you know..."

He straddled one of my leg, faintly grinding on me, bringing his face close to my ear. I felt nauseous from this sort of action, that bastard..

" I fucked her ... I utterly fucked the woman until she begged me to stop." He whispered to me, putting emphasis on the word fucked.

I froze, clenching my fists so hard that the remaining blood in my hands probably completely left. No! This wasn’t real! My heart rushed a thousand miles an hour, I refused to believe it!

"Lies!"

"No Valentine.. I fucked her right here, in this room.. and more than once too."

"She would have told me and I swear you'd be dead!"

"This is the beauty of this Turks... when you tell women the right words.. they will do everything you want. As for her, I just had to tell her that YOU'D be in trouble... that I would kill you in FRONT of her. Making your death long and painful. Of course... she kept on refusing at first, but I told her that if anything would come to your ears, you would pay for it. She truly loved you Valentine..She accepted yet she begged for you to save her several times while I would pound her. But you weren't there to come.."

"Shut up!"

He slid himself off from me and crawled behind me.

"You weren't there Valentine and I warned her that one single word, one single motion, one single tear in front of you would mean your demise.. and the beauty in all this?"

He wrapped his arms around me, pressing his hands to my chest, making me shiver of disgust.

"She complied, followed every single request I had in fear of having you hurt. And you, oblivious Valentine, let her do this while remaining in complete ignorance, kissing the lip I kissed during the day, caressing the body I claimed mine and of course, making one with the one I stole from you."

I fought, trying to get him off from me and attempting to break free once again. I had to kill him, make him pay for everything he did to her! How dared he touch the one I loved most in my life? I swore to any Gods who could hear me that I would kill him.

"Fight as much as you want Valentine, this will only add more interest in this. Just like with her at first, before she truly realized all the things that would happen to you if she was to let you know."

He darkly laughed, caressing around my chest and stomach, almost in a loving way. Sending all my sense in alert. No, he couldn't be thinking that... wouldn't he?

"The first time I had her... I told her that she had no choice. She didn't cooperate but she was only a woman, and women are weak, women think with their hearts and hearts are easy to hurt. I wrapped my hands around her, just like this and grabbed her breast, stroking it."

He moved his right hand to my chest and toyed with my nipple, making me shiver once again and sending me into another fight to get him off.

"Oh yes, just like that Vincent, she fought just like that. We were near the table right there" He said, motioning toward the table which I was laid on earlier.

"So I pushed her, face first on it and laid over her, grinding on her."

He parted his legs and pressed his lower body on me, grinding on my behind. My mind refused to imagine more of what was about to happen but I couldn't stop it from knowing this would happen.

No, not that..

"Get off me bastard!"

His other hand slid to my waist and I trashed against him, earning a tighter grip and more grinding from him.

"Oh yes.. Continue..Just like that."

His left hand continued it's path south, unbuttoning my pants and his narrow fingers dug into my groin. My heart and throat squeezed, I felt sick. His other hand kept on painfully mingling with my nipple, scratching across my chest as well.

"She called out for you once, but you were upstairs and didn't hear her. I had to remind her of what would happen if you'd learn about this. She begged me to stop, she begged me not to do this to her, but of course, I wasn’t to accept that.. I fingered her. Stroking her insides, I took her clothes off and laid her naked on the table. A wonderful view Valentine.. you have taste in woman."

I stopped trashing and instead, pulled on what was holding my wrists: I HAD to get free. I used what was holding me to my knees to pull harder on my chains but it just wouldn’t break away.

"It took me a lot of time to persuade her but of course, a woman who gets violated will break more easily.."
He laughed again, grinding harder.

"So I laid her on the table, undressed myself and joined her. She cried for me to stop... cried for me not to go any further.. begged for it to go like it was planned but I refused. I won't jack off for a woman get pregnant, I’ll FUCK her!"

"Stop!!" I screamed, I couldn't hear more.

"She asked me that many times when I was on the table. I wrapped my hand around her neck, watching her tears roll down, laughing at them. Oh Valentine, I would have loved to see you witness that."

His left hand moved away from my groin and reached for my balls. I felt so close of fainting, my head was spinning.. Gods no not that.. Let me kill him. Let me at him!

"I slid my fingers in her again, touching everything in her insides, watching her tears falls as fast as I’d move in her. I was hoping to see her willing and hear her beautiful moans which I was able to hear through the walls when you had her, but she chose not to... making this ... more enjoyable, in the end."

He passed his hand over my shaft and I refused it to respond. I doubt it would have anyways... and took his hand out of my pants and his other one off my chest. I was hoping this would stop, but my hopes went away when I felt my pants being lowered. I heard some clothes being taken off from behind me and I didn’t need more to know what was going to happen. In a last attempt, I tried to break free once again but that chain just wouldn't break away. Hojo's arm wrapped around me again and his right hand darted for my mid section, grabbing me and stroking my unawakened flesh.

"Sometimes, when I fucked her, I took her like a dog, like a whore. I heard her whisper for you to forgive her while I rammed her."

He pressed his hips behind me and I could feel his erection pressing against me. I shook my head left and right, biting my lip to prevent me from vomiting. His constant stroking of me lead him to nothing and he growled in anger..

"This hasn't been the only time I had her and every time, I had to use less persuasion. She was so well trained in the end. Only a glimpse of the eye from me and BAM! She'd be undressing.. When she became pregnant, it was another story. I didn’t want to take any risk of affecting the foetus.. so I moved on to new methods..If I couldn’t fuck her pussy... her ass.. I would fuck her mouth."

Gods no!! I went into a demented rage and violently trashed against him which took him by surprise and threw him off. He laughed again and walked in front of me. His nakedness troubled me, but to know Lucrecia also saw it, to know THAT body violated her, to know he abused of her in all ways I wouldn't even imagine asking her for sent me into wanting him dead more than anything else in this world.

"You shouldn't have done that Valentine..."

He hardly punched me in the stomach, draining me from all the air I had, but didn’t stop at one hit. One after the other, the hits followed until I spat blood.

"You are nothing Valentine, not even able to save HER! Not even able to save YOU, You are just like those monsters in you. They are YOU!"

He punched me once again and left behind me, leaving me to try to recover a normal breathing rate, but before I could even do so, I felt him ram in me, his hands tightly pressed on my hips. I screamed of pain while he screamed of pleasure.

"Oh yes! Yes.. "

He longingly moaned of pleasure and crossed his arms on my chest, holding to my shoulders, not allowing me to break away from him. My head spun and I felt like I was to drop unconscious. The pain of his entrance was too much.

Lucrecia.. did he also do this to you? I am so sorry, I should have been more careful, I should have known.. I should have been there..

I tightly closed my eyes, feeling him go in and out of me, my body falling limp on the chains. It hurts..It hurts so much, but if he was to take me, he would work for it, I wont hold myself up...I’ll just .. let him do what he has to do...

My arms tremble.. I let her go through all this.. I could have stopped her from getting into this, I could have prevented all this, I could have stopped him from doing this to her. My throat strangles once again.. it's all my fault.. it's my fault she is gone.. my fault he took her like this.

It's all my fault..

"....Lucrecia" I faintly whispered, realizing the full extend of what she has been through because I blinded myself in delusion. Hojo took even more pleasure from hearing me and quickened his pace.

"You are soooo tight, Turks."

I shut up, trapping myself within my mind. I could faintly hear those voices within me: Those monsters that I am now. Taunting me, blaming me, hating me, loving me, ripping me...

Oh Lucrecia...Can you ever forgive me...?

No, don't forgive me, I do not deserve it. I cannot deserve it. Not after failing you like that, I do not deserve this life, I do not deserve anything anymore...

Just.. just let me die.

Hojo kept on his violent pace for so long before it was finally over. He withdrew himself and got back up to get dressed.

"That was almost as good as with her Valentine... but of course, you don’t cry do you? You don't beg.."

He chuckled.

"But I got a question for you. Remember what I told you? About who's son Sephiroth is? Now.. both you and me fucked the woman, right?"

oh no... please not that.. I don't even want to imagine this.

"Now who knows...?" He continued, letting the words hang.

"But of course.. just like her.. you wont see him. But don't worry, I wont kill you. This little event shown me you may have some utility left..I mean.. when I’ll need it, of course."

He laughed again and came into view with a syringe in hand.

"This will make you sleep Valentine, sleep like you have never done it before. But you will not die.. I wont let you. I will have some more test for you and things to try.. maybe a new monster or 2.."

I let my head hang limp. I deserved all this... Lucrecia.. I am so sorry..

I felt the needle in my arm and the liquid filling my veins. A minute later, My hands were freed and so were my legs, but I just couldn't force myself to fight or stand up. My body was unwilling to respond.

"Ahah, you are as powerless as a child but don't worry, you are about to sleep.."

Hojo grabbed me by an arm and dragged me toward one of the room outside the laboratory. The smell was old, dusty, there were coffins in the room and the center one was open.

A ... coffin?

Hojo laid me in it and chuckled again.

"You cannot imagine how that woman sucks so well and how her ass is soo tight, Valentine. You should have tried her while you could..."

I tried to force my body to move, but whatever was in this liquid that he injected me with took the best of me. He closed the lid, sealing me away from light.

Lucrecia.. I am sorry.. I should have been more careful with you.. this is all my fault.

this is .. my sin.

I closed my eyes, hearing Hojo's footsteps as he left the room, closed the door and locked it.

This will be my resting place, but I shall not die, I will just sleep...

I do not deserve to die and see you again.. not after what I did. And if I was ever granted the luxury of dying, I wouldn't go where you are...

Lucrecia..

...I am sorry.

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End

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